Rap of the Lich King (NSFW)

[Crawford]

ARTHAS: Yo, this is Arthas Menethil. I used to have the world's shittiest job, sitting on a giant ice-cube. The Frozen Throne may look glamorous, but my nutsack always got stuck to that thing, and peeling it off hurt like a bitch. Anyway, now a new guy has my old job, and I have a lot more time to work on my hip hop career.

So tonight, we've got Nubby B, Traitor King of the Spiders laying down a beat for us, and we gonna straight blow this bitch up.

Lemme hear y'all!

Yeah!

Onyxia's tough; that girl won't stay dead.
She don't give a fuck if you cut off her head.
Next fuckin' Tuesday, she'll be right back there,
But lately she looks a bit worse for the wear.
She's got bones sticking out; she's got guts flapping free.
I don't think she'll make it into phase 3.

Shout out to the Dwarfs, dicking around in Ironforge!

Yo, what up, Magni? I heard your daughter’s a slut.
That’s what Thaurissan told me ‘fore he busted his nut.
Bitch ain’t got self-respect, that bitch ain’t got no class,
He took her down to BRD and then he tapped that ass.
Now Moira’s sporting the bump, unless my lich eyes fail.
We’ll toast the new prince of Dwarves with Dark Iron Ale.

We've got a guest here tonight, y'all! Give it up for Ozruk!

OZRUK: Chillin' in the Stonecore,
Make a call to my whore
I'm like "Ain't you gonna blow me?
What do I keep you around for?"
She says "Ozruk, I've got my self-worth!"
I go: "BITCH, FEEL THE STRENGTH OF THE EARTH!"
She's like: "I ain't gotta be treated that way."
I tell her to fuck off, and she goes: "Okay."
Now I'm alone for the night, and hard as a rock,
I'm lookin' for a lady to freak on my jock
So I'm going to party,
Gonna grind on a hottie.
Gonna find me the kind of girl who likes getting naughty.
So if you're down to freak,
Girl, we need to speak.
Come break yourself upon my body.

ARTHAS: Give it up for Ozruk, yo!

This is goin' out to the Forsaken:

Sylvanas once was a high elf, or some kind of fairy.
That bitch screamed real good when I was bustin’ her cherry.
She says she’s the Forsaken, ‘cause she misses my nuts.
But I caught the Black Arrow when I went up in her guts.
Keep trustin’ them Dreadlords, that’s the smart way to go.
Undead, stop getting’ led by an elf bitch gone emo.

Cairne Bloodhoof is all kinds of dead,
Cause Garrosh stuck a motherfucking axe in his head.
That's how shit gets settled in the Horde
Cause a pinhead-retard is their new overlord.
Ever since Thrall ditched them, Horde have started to slip.
Garrosh's foreign policy is GET OFF MY SHIP!
Whatever they're doing, it ain't gonna work.
They swapped a wimpy warchief for a mean, stupid jerk.

Yo, so I met this dude in the dungeon finder.
He was way too dumb not to stand in the fire.
DPS was so low; he just had to go.
Hit the vote kick button, and what do you know?
Get another motherfucker, and he's even worse.
His gear's green and ungemmed
Dungeon finder's a curse.
I hammer the boot, and then I gotta frown
Fuckin' vote-kick now has a two-hour cooldown.

This last one's for an old girlfriend.

Jaina Proudmoore, outta Theramore,
She don’t like me now, but I fucked that whore.
Girl, I know Thrall can’t dick you the way that you like.
He’s got a little green ween; I got this massive spike.
You said my culling in Stratholme was making you sick.
But you said something else when you were up on my dick.

[Deleted]

Dead people can't rap.

[FruityWoor]

This is brilliant! Incoming massive thread of praise!

[Fazdran]

Dead people can't rap.

Tupac can.

[Deleted]

Sapped girls can't say no, dead people can't rap.

[marinos]

Tupac can.

And you are sure he's dead 100%.

[Kaleid]

Tupac can.

Couldn't while he was alive.

[Agallochh]

Honestly I think ICP can write better raps than this. :/

[Bourgeois]

Oh, I want to play!

I write video game rhymes like an obscene Dr. Seuss,
Shit mother fucker it's 4, time for juice.
By juice I mean apple, because I'm ten years old,
NUT SACK ICE CUBE FROZEN THRONE COLD

[Deleted]

Couldn't while he was alive.

lol'd.
Bad lyrics, generic like 100% of rap songs.

[jobdone]

Couldn't while he was alive.

Burned. LOL.

[Underskilled]

Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one".

[Deleted]

Tupac can.

This was a good post!
+1

[Skilz]

It's hard for me to know if I like it without actually hearing the beat in which it it was intended to be sung to.

[FruityWoor]

Just wait for Tirion Fordring to come back from ICC singing "I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one".

thats going in my sig

[Deleted]

[imtehrogue]

Epic!

+10 letters

[3dwarvesequal1]

Oh, I want to play!

I write video game rhymes like an obscene Dr. Seuss,
Shit mother fucker it's 4, time for juice.
By juice I mean apple, because I'm ten years old,
NUT SACK ICE CUBE FROZEN THRONE COLD

+20 pie slices

[Strakha]

haha got me at "Yo, what up, Magni? I heard your daughter’s a slut."

[Deleted]

Great job OP you made my day.