Dear people on mmochamp,
I'll try to make this short and clear, because I'd like as many reactions and opinions as possible. Even if you don't like walls of text, I'd appreciate it if you read this one and thought about it. This is very important to me.
I'm a 26-year old guy from the Netherlands. Last week, out of nowhere, a girl (21) appeared in my life. We met online, started chatting and decided to meet up. I remember getting doubts, but there was no turning back: she alrdy started the 70 km drive to reach my town. We didn't rly know anything about eachother. I was totally flipping out, until I met her at the train station, where we met up.
We had a very relaxing evening. We talked as if we'd known eachother forever. There was a full moon, we had some wine in the park and had an amazing night. After we said goodbye, we exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch. Everything had felt perfect. That night I fell in love.
The next couple of days were a huge eye-opener. I think I went through all the phases of psychology: euphoria, anger, despair, sadness. I got myself together and decided to turn my life around. I quit smoking weed and cigarettes, started working out, eating healthier and sleeping normal hours again. Today is six days later, I'm still doing great, haven't even had the urge to bend or give up. (I had been smoking cigarettes and weed for about 10 years)
Throughout the week we kept talking via sms and on the internet. I told her exactly how I felt (being dishonest wouldn't bring me anywhere). She was so kind and understanding, but she had been through a very painful relationship recently and wanted to be on her own. She told me she trusted me, she liked me, but she isn't looking for anything more at the moment.
I just want to be with her. She's such an amazing person in so many different ways. It's weird to say as a 26-year old male, but I'm not at all interested in urgently having sex with her, although she's so pretty with huge charisma. If I could choose, I'd be with her forever, listening to her every single word.
So what should I do, people? Can you befriend the one you're in love with? Should I run? Can you give me any advice, warnings or opinions? Have you been in a similar situation?
Anything that might be helpful is so welcome. Thanks in advance!
Edit: I'd like to add that she's very happy to have made such changes in my life, although she doesn't understand how she did it.
She rly wants to keep seeing me, but considering we live quite far from eachother, this might be only weekly. We do talk daily on the net or by texting. She's ofc very flattered I like her so much and she thinks I'm kinda hot (except for me having long hair, which she hates).
You must understand how all this confuses me. I'm preparing myself, though, when it explodes in my face, not to return to the guy I was before.
Edit: I think I owe you all this message, because the friendship ended. Yesterday afternoon she told me she was getting back together with her abusive ex-boyfriend. The guy who hit her in the face, threw her on the floor and grabbed her by the neck.
I lost self-control, went to his place and kicked the shit out of him in such a way that i'm honestly glad he survived. I'm awaiting a visit/call from the police. The girl has alrdy contacted me, told me I should have stayed out of her business, that she could handle it. She never wants to see/hear from me again.
I blew it, but it felt great making the asshole suffer. I'm trying to forget now and move on. Thanks for all your help, rly.