Are you a loner?

[jishdefish]

Being a "loner" is much easier lol. I have a few close friends that i occasionally do stuff with but other than that i really just would rather come home and stay home watch a movie, play some games or something and just relax. Rather than be going out all the time partying and stuff (really not my scene at all).

People give me crap for it and family are on my case about it constantly, and admittedly at times i do feel kinda lonely not having someone (in terms of a partner) around to talk to/be with, but even if i did, i'd still prefer to be doing what i do now, just with them there as well >.>. Though not all the time, i mean, i need alone time xD

Same here. I don't have many friends, and even in high school when I did, they were just a group I hung out with because I liked to listen to their conversation. I never participated much, but I liked them all for who they were.

[Gamdwelf]

Is it healthy to base your happiness on the presence of others? To base your well being on who happens to be around you at the time? Its possible to put a negative outlook on the other direction as well.

No, because I can be happy with our with out people. Extroverts don't need to be around people to "recharge".

[IxilaFA]

Yes. I recently moved to California away from all my family and friends, and have struggled to develop any relationships of significance with the people I work with. On my weekends I come home, play some WoW or other video games, or spend some time writing, usually watching a movie or tv show at the time. A lot of the people who I work with don't really invite me out to anything, and when they do I usually turn it down anyway. Used to love drinking, but have had issues with it recently so would rather just stay away from the heavy drinking / partying scene anyways. Honestly the only thing I wish I had some friends out here for is so I can go to ballgames or local amusement parks. Other than that, I'm perfectly happy being by myself, occasionally visiting my friends and family, and for the most part just spending some time focusing on me.

[Kasierith]

No, because I can be happy with our with out people. Extroverts don't need to be around people to "recharge".

Than you're changing the dynamics of the situation in order to protect your interests. If you do not believe that introverts are healthy because they have to recharge by being away, than by the scenario you have depicted extroverts recharge by being with people (using recharge in a vague sense, of course).

Saying that introverts must spend time away from others to be happy is about as inaccurate as me saying extroverts base their concept of self worth according to their respective social circles. In most situations, its a matter of preference, not need.

[Vizardlorde]

IDK I think I am sometimes since i hate crowds, talking to strangers and going to public places by myself, but when i am alone i feel lonely and depressed, Id rather spend most of my time with my friends. So i guess Im a wolf loyal to his pack.

[Gamdwelf]

Than you're changing the dynamics of the situation in order to protect your interests. If you do not believe that introverts are healthy because they have to recharge by being away, than by the scenario you have depicted extroverts recharge by being with people (using recharge in a vague sense, of course).

Saying that introverts must spend time away from others to be happy is about as inaccurate as me saying extroverts base their concept of self worth according to their respective social circles. In most situations, its a matter of preference, not need.

except every introvert in this thread has said that they need to be away from people or they get grumpy, or something to that effect.
I am not an introvert, and so I need no such time to just sit alone recharging. This is why it seems like an abnormality to me.

[Deleted]

Then why do you need time away from people to like "recharge" or whatever, that does not seem normal or healthy.

When you get tired from playing football, don't you need to rest/"recharge"?

Same thing for me, being around people is exahusting for me. I don't get tired if I spend 10 mins around people, no, that's not the case, no introvert gets tired that fast unless they have health problems but that also applies to extroverts. I do get tired after like 1 hour or 2 hours after being around people, that makes me exhausted.

No, because I can be happy with our with out people. Extroverts don't need to be around people to "recharge".

I was mainly talking about introverts needing to recharge, but yes, some extroverts actually get exhausted too when they are lonely, it can happen.

---------- Post added 2012-11-13 at 04:25 PM ----------

except every introvert in this thread has said that they need to be away from people or they get grumpy, or something to that effect.
I am not an introvert, and so I need no such time to just sit alone recharging. This is why it seems like an abnormality to me.

Well, it's not an abnormality, you shouldn't think it is.

[Gamdwelf]

When you get tired from playing football, don't you need to rest/"recharge"?

Same thing for me, being around people is exahusting for me. I don't get tired if I spend 10 mins around people, no, that's not the case, no introvert gets tired that fast unless they have health problems but that also applies to extroverts. I do get tired after like 1 hour or 2 hours after being around people, that makes me exhausted.

I was mainly talking about introverts needing to recharge, but yes, some extroverts actually get exhausted too when they are lonely, it can happen.

---------- Post added 2012-11-13 at 04:25 PM ----------


Well, it's not an abnormality, you shouldn't think it is.

Yes but playing football you are expending real energy, hanging out with friends or hanging out alone you are spending the same amount of real energy, so why do you get exhausted?

[Deleted]

Yes but playing football you are expending real energy, hanging out with friends or hanging out alone you are spending the same amount of real energy, so why do you get exhausted?

How do you know how much energy I spend while being around others? how do you know that I don't spend more energy being around people than playing football?

You don't, that's why I'm saying to that it's perfectly normal if an introvert gets tired of being around people.

[DeltrusDisc]

Drives me nuts to not have friends/see friends on a semi-regular basis.

Hell I just like to be around people in general, usually.

[Gamdwelf]

How do you know how much energy I spend while being around others? how do you know that I don't spend more energy being around people than playing football?

You don't, that's why I'm saying to that it's perfectly normal if an introvert gets tired of being around people.

not really how do you expend more actual energy just by more people being around you?

[Deleted]

Are you the same?

Sort of. During weekdays I usually prefer to spend my time alone or with my family.

But during the weekend I want to socialize. And I do, I get along with lots of people when I'm out drinking.
I just wish I had friends that could come along with me, now I usually have to go drink by myself and just hope I come across people I know.

My best friend doesn't want to go/never has time to go with me because he lives together with his soon to be wife. He's pretty tied down.
And the worst part is that he looks down on my heavy drinking. But he doesn't realize that it's one of the few things that I really enjoy doing.

Anyway, yeah I get along with lots of people. But I prefer my space during the week so I'm not sure if I could call those people friends or just good acquaintances. Whenever someone asks me if I want to do something together during the week, I usually say yes because I want to stay 'friends'. But most of the time I do feel pressured to go instead of actually wanting to.

Yeah, I guess I'm a little weird and perhaps my personality contradicts itself. I want to get along with people but I also prefer my space. It's tough.

[Dawnseven]

I like to think of myself as someone with a limited capacity for other people's shit.

LOL!! Sorry, but this.

I don't want to spend 2 or 3 hours a day feeling compelled to comment on peoples' Facebook updates, nor do I want my gaming or TV shows or chores or whatever else I'm doing interrupted by someone calling or texting the crap out of me because they're having a crisis of some sort. Many social situations (parties, picnics, etc.) just seem fake to me so I don't enjoy them, and when I'm forced into something I just suffer through it and leave at the first opportunity. I also hate stupid people. Sooo... I'm married, my husband is my best friend, I have family that I can talk to and co-workers that keep me entertained during work hours. That's plenty.

[Deleted]

Yes but playing football you are expending real energy, hanging out with friends or hanging out alone you are spending the same amount of real energy, so why do you get exhausted?

Mental not physical energy if I'm not mistaken.

[FrozenFlames]

When I'm alone (excluding family) for more than a day(ish) I feel a bit.. well, depressed or something. So no, I wouldnt say I'm a loner.

Edit: And that while im 'somewhat' shy and introvert.

[Gamdwelf]

Mental not physical energy if I'm not mistaken.

how does that make you exhausted?

[Deleted]

not really how do you expend more actual energy just by more people being around you?

You don't have to spend physical energy to get tired. You can also get psychologically tired, sometimes that's more tiring than physical energy spending, you know? Depression is an example of this.

I might not be explain this well, if I'm not, just say so and I'll stop posting because I don't want you to get the wrong ideas from me.

Mental not physical energy if I'm not mistaken.

Also this. ^

[Kasierith]

except every introvert in this thread has said that they need to be away from people or they get grumpy, or something to that effect.
I am not an introvert, and so I need no such time to just sit alone recharging. This is why it seems like an abnormality to me.

I don't believe I said anything to that effect. Both my current internship and my future profession require continuous interpersonal communication and contact, and if I was unable to bring myself to speak to people I would have never made it out of St Petersburg and to the US. That said, I do prefer my own company to that of others, and routinely avoid quite a few forms of social endeavors, and my preferences clearly label me as an introvert.

---------- Post added 2012-11-13 at 05:44 PM ----------

Yes but playing football you are expending real energy, hanging out with friends or hanging out alone you are spending the same amount of real energy, so why do you get exhausted?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...e-brain-need-s

The brain consumes more energy than any other part of the body. Its why going without sleep has such a drastic effect, to oversimplify it.

[Gamdwelf]

You don't have to spend physical energy to get tired. You can also get psychologically tired, sometimes that's more tiring than physical energy spending, you know? Depression is an example of this.

I might not be explain this well, if I'm not, just say so and I'll stop posting because I don't want you to get the wrong ideas from me.

Also this. ^

So, do all introverts have depression, the only one of my friends that says hes an introvert also sometimes can't get out of bed for days because of depression.

[Kasierith]

So, do all introverts have depression, the only one of my friends that says hes an introvert also sometimes can't get out of bed for days because of depression.

No. That is purely anecdotal.