Need some help here.Ex gf issues

[Deleted]

I recently told a friend the same.. if the relationship or what's left of it hurts you, you should let it go and move on, thinking about her or what you had in better times only makes it harder for you, so you should try to leave it behind you.
maybe distract yourself with other things, like games she doesn't play, stay offline at skype, read a book, watch movies, make yourself think of different things, and then eventually things will get easier and better

[Fearnor]

I recently told a friend the same.. if the relationship or what's left of it hurts you, you should let it go and move on, thinking about her or what you had in better times only makes it harder for you, so you should try to leave it behind you.
maybe distract yourself with other things, like games she doesn't play, stay offline at skype, read a book, watch movies, make yourself think of different things, and then eventually things will get easier and better

I will try!Thanks for the advice!

[Deleted]

I will try!Thanks for the advice!

you're welcome, hopefully it helps and you feel better soon

[Deleted]

After a year, she still gets mad at you, for no reason, and you still speak to each other?

She still likes you. She does. What else would explain why she wants to talk to you, even after getting mad.

Have a serious talk to her, about what she feels, if she still loves you, it's the only way. Both of you can't keep doing that, it's just not healthy, for both of you.

Either that or just drop contact.

[Fearnor]

Thanks!

---------- Post added 2012-12-12 at 04:49 PM ----------

After a year, she still gets mad at you, for no reason, and you still speak to each other?

She still likes you. She does. What else would explain why she wants to talk to you, even after getting mad.

Have a serious talk to her, about what she feels, if she still loves you, it's the only way. Both of you can't keep doing that, it's just not healthy, for both of you.

Either that or just drop contact.

I dont think at least for the moment that we will have this conversation,she will prolly stop talking to me to stop the conversation.She is acting childish :/ Thanks thou for ur answer!

[Deleted]

The fact you have to ask such a thing on a forum makes me wanna facepalm but hey ho i'll offer my 2 cents. Troll post or not, it gives us something to talk about.

You asked numerous times for her to stop contacting you, yet you carry on responding to her. Ignore the texts/calls/emails and she will soon stop. You also said it was a long distant relationship but you bumped into her '4 days later' was it long distance while you were together and now it isn't? It's screaming out that this post is a load of tosh but i'll give you a chance, asking her if she agrees that you don't talk, is like using reverse psychology, in other words you want her to disagree.

I see it completely opposite to how you are explaining it. It's almost like the "my friend is interested in somebody, should he ask her out?" when in reality it's about yourself. I think you are the one caught up in this mess and you are being ignored/told to stop contacting and you're struggling to cope.

Move on, if you wonder if you'll find anyone like her? Not whilst you're hung up on her you won't. The sooner you forget her the sooner somebody better will come along.

[Fearnor]

We were together for a year,we dealed with some really serious shit together.Maybe i wasnt clear enough.And whats wrong asking for opinions?No one forced u to reply or even read it.And no i am not coping anything,this is what happened.

[Deleted]

I dont think at least for the moment that we will have this conversation,she will prolly stop talking to me to stop the conversation.She is acting childish :/ Thanks thou for ur answer!

You either talk to her about it or you don't and spend the rest of your life thinking about whether she still likes/liked you or not, it's kinda horrible to live like that, having her near you and, probably, knowing that she still likes you but you don't do anything about it, same thing for her.

[Fearnor]

Indeed it is horrible,but when someone is mad,u cant talk seriously with them,i think we all have faced it.But yea i will try to make this conversation after a while,after she is a bit better,with me or with her problem with me! And believe me i know her for 3 years now,i know how she behaive :P

[Raldazzar]

I have some of my ex's on facebook. after many many years. do not even try and be friends for a good few years. you both need to move on before friendship can be on the table.

[Hyve]

Move on. Holding onto situations like this is selfish, and does no good to anyone.

[Skippy88]

I guess the main question is what is causing her to get mad. Is the cause 100% her or are you part of the problem? I know my cousin can be a bit snippy so he can have a normal conversation with his gf, he often times says something condescending, and before you know it it's World War 3.

I remember on the tv show 20/20 in the late 80's did a segment on how to argue as a couple. In it they talked about not calling each other names, listen and let your partner talk, focus about the issue and don't bring other issues into it. There were other things in there they talked about but I wonder if there's more going on since it's every conversation you end up fighting.

Finally, assume you can have a normal conversation with her do you love her? Do you still yourself having a happy life with her for the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years? I think answering those questions will lead you towards an answer on how you deal with her.

[Deleted]

Finally, assume you can have a normal conversation with her do you love her? Do you still yourself having a happy life with her for the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years? I think answering those questions will lead you towards an answer on how you deal with her.

I think you have to analyse what's better: being in love or even in a relationship where arguing daily is normal, or leaving her behind to get better and eventually find someone else later on? but surely decisions like that can't be made by anyone else but the OP and are really hard to make..
a few years ago I myself have ended a relationship after nearly 5 years because the hurting moments overweighed the positive aspects. it was really hard and took me some time to realize that I really had to end it, but carrying on would've been worse for me.

[Fearnor]

I guess the main question is what is causing her to get mad. Is the cause 100% her or are you part of the problem? I know my cousin can be a bit snippy so he can have a normal conversation with his gf, he often times says something condescending, and before you know it it's World War 3.

I remember on the tv show 20/20 in the late 80's did a segment on how to argue as a couple. In it they talked about not calling each other names, listen and let your partner talk, focus about the issue and don't bring other issues into it. There were other things in there they talked about but I wonder if there's more going on since it's every conversation you end up fighting.

Finally, assume you can have a normal conversation with her do you love her? Do you still yourself having a happy life with her for the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years? I think answering those questions will lead you towards an answer on how you deal with her.

I will answer u with only 1 sentence!I am planning to graduate from university and if things go well till then move to her country!And yea if i wasnt in love with her i wouldnt talk about it now and how to deal with it!

[Deleted]

I will answer u with only 1 sentence!I am planning to graduate from university and if things go well till then move to her country!And yea if i wasnt in love with her i wouldnt talk about it now and how to deal with it!

will you move to her country because of her or because of different reasons, a job, studies, whatever?

[Fearnor]

I think you have to analyse what's better: being in love or even in a relationship where arguing daily is normal, or leaving her behind to get better and eventually find someone else later on? but surely decisions like that can't be made by anyone else but the OP and are really hard to make..
a few years ago I myself have ended a relationship after nearly 5 years because the hurting moments overweighed the positive aspects. it was really hard and took me some time to realize that I really had to end it, but carrying on would've been worse for me.

I understand what are u talking about!And i think or better believe that if we manage to get rid of these negative feelings from fighting we will be fine again!We had a really nice weekend some months ago,we were just chilling and talking in skype,she was really happy and she was even saying,what if something happen in a few years and we are together,ofc after "if" she was adding and i was joking ofc!she was blushing with my silly compliments,she was laughing all the time and stuff like that

---------- Post added 2012-12-12 at 05:36 PM ----------

[QUOTE=Skippy88;19419709]I guess the main question is what is causing her to get mad. Is the cause 100% her or are you part of the problem?

And last but not least,i am part of the problem she doesnt trust me and whatever i say she just dont believe it,she gets mad and she just stop talking or the WWe starts all over again!

---------- Post added 2012-12-12 at 05:37 PM ----------

will you move to her country because of her or because of different reasons, a job, studies, whatever?

For her!Just for her

[Deleted]

I understand what are u talking about!And i think or better believe that if we manage to get rid of these negative feelings from fighting we will be fine again!We had a really nice weekend some months ago,we were just chilling and talking in skype,she was really happy and she was even saying,what if something happen in a few years and we are together,ofc after "if" she was adding and i was joking ofc!she was blushing with my silly compliments,she was laughing all the time and stuff like that

---------- Post added 2012-12-12 at 05:36 PM ----------

And last but not least,i am part of the problem she doesnt trust me and whatever i say she just dont believe it,she gets mad and she just stop talking or the WWe starts all over again!

---------- Post added 2012-12-12 at 05:37 PM ----------



For her!Just for her

don't get me wrong, but it seems you jump from one decision to another. I'd suggest you think about the whole issue in a quiet moment, take some time for yourself and sort things out calmly.
maybe you should look at your situation from the outside, try to see it like we do, as if it's not about you. maybe this might help you come to a more objective decision you're fine with.
or try to make a list of positive and negative aspects of each decision (staying with her, getting together later, stopping contact), but try to be objective and don't just write down your feelings. this could also help you form a mature decision, whatever it may be.

in addition, just to tell you, moving somewhere because of a relationship can end well, but can also go horribly wrong. one of my friends moved somewhere far away for the guy she loved, but after a while they broke up. she had abandoned all the contacts in her old home and couldn't make new friends in the new town and was pretty lonely when the relationship ended, it was like she just moved there, she knew nobody. eventually she moved back later, but had several problems getting into contact with her old friends again, because she had just left them for a guy..

many people put love above all other things, but for some decisions, like moving for a relationship, a distanced and more realistic view on the choiced and their consequences could be very helpful. it doesn't guarantee a happy ending, but it might help to make a decision that's not only caused by feelings.

[Fearnor]

-Vaiara
I dont get u wrong and i know exacly what u mean!I am confused as hell as well...I will try to do it and be as objective as i can be!I think it may help!But i really really think that i still love her and i am trying to stop contact to take a break and try to be better!Thats for the second reply for ur friend,i am well aware of the issue and i wont stop the contact with my friends.Ur help is really appreciatted!

[Rukentuts]

Psycho internet chick is psycho.

Ditch it.

[Deleted]

...and try to be better

but please don't think you're the (only) one making mistakes.
if she's arguing with you even though you stayed calm that's not your fault, it's hers. so please don't lower yourself and think everything going wrong is your fault!