Ways to hide being drunk at work?

[xtiiina]

I want to start drinking whiskey in the car in the morning before work to make my day more tolerable. I need some suggestions of how to hide it. I'm very good at acting sober while drunk so that's not an issue, it's mostly the smell I'm worried about. If I use mouth wash in the car and then chew gum while I'm working will that be enough to cover up the scent of alcohol?

EDIT: I work at a minimum wage job selling donuts.... so it's not like I'm ruining my career or anything.

[Garnier Fructis]

You only think you're good at acting sober while driving. Please don't run me over.

[roflwaffle]

You only think you're good at acting sober while driving. Please don't run me over.

he's drinking it before he gets out of the car when he's already at work i assume by his wording

[Muis]

he's drinking it before he gets out of the car when he's already at work i assume by his wording

But by his wording it might also seem like he'll still be intoxicated when he goes back home.

OT - For the smell, bring deodorant and probably a gum or so. And I doubt you can really act sober while drunk - however you might think you do.

[coockiedough]

really get a different job if you`re resorting to things like this to make it bearable

[Abysal]

My suggestion: Get a new job or find a better solution than drinking.

There is a good chance that sooner or later, you'll get caught. Once that happens, good luck getting a job that pays more than minimum wage.

[drwelfare]

Won't work on the long term, best thing that can happen if you get fired and cannot get unemployment.
Or depending on your job you screw up getting someone else maimed.

[Mementomori1993]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-tips-d...while-at-work/

Read this last night, tried it that same night at work. Works like a charm.

[Yosef1015]

good way to hide the scent of booze at work? dont drink booze at work

[ovm33]

Er... Coffee and Cigarettes. They make your breath smell so people won't want to be close to your face...

Short story time:

We had a guy where I work that would drink gin throughout the entire day. Obviously no one knew this though. Apparently he would drink a fifth or so within his 8 hour shift. He was an older gentleman, around 70 or so. Always really friendly. I was the guys boss for 2 years before he got caught. When he was given a breathalyzer he blew three times the legal limit. He seemed stone cold sober, no slurring of words, quick responses etc. This guy was a "pro."

[Raphtheone]

I've found that the best way, and to great success I might add, is to be sober in order to not act drunk at work. I realize this isn't what you asked for, but it is a suggestion.

Other suggestions more in line for what you asked for involve either changing the whiskey to something that doesn't smell as much (like vodka). If it must be whiskey, stop showering and don't change your clothes, and your body odor will surely out-smell the whiskey. As a bonus, people won't get too close to you and risk catching that whiskey breath you're trying to hide. The added benefits of this strategy does have equal draw backs. If your boss gets a whiff of both your body odor and the whiskey breath, he might conclude something that isn't necessarily true, albeit probably isn't that far off.

[Pull My Finger]

Why don't you try heroin? Doesn't smell at all and is far more effective.

[Chunkyman]

Don't fucking drink when you got work the next day, retard.

Infracted

[Joey Ray III]

have some food after, i recommend double-cheeseburger from McD + can of coke

just make sure you belch it all out before you go in

works for me, after a night-out with heavy drinking anyway

---------- Post added 2013-01-01 at 11:23 PM ----------

Why don't you try heroin? Doesn't smell at all and is far more effective.

nah, he'd just keep nodding out ;p

[Netherspark]

This won't end well for you.

[Bullcephus]

Don't fucking drink when you got work the next day, retard.

Read his post.

[Airwaves]

Is this guy for real?

This is just a great way to get your ass sued if you fuck up something bad. If its that bad start looking for another job. The feeling that your are looking for different work should be enough to get you though the day.

[Sevyvia]

#1 tip: Don't be drunk at work.

[Garnier Fructis]

he's drinking it before he gets out of the car when he's already at work i assume by his wording

Oh, I see. I still think it's a tad ambiguous, but if you're just drinking it in the car after you're done driving that's not as bad.

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

You need help. You're either an alcoholic or you need a new job.