Mom cheated on dad

[Zazzmi]

He didn't put the kid in the middle. He didn't ask his son to do anything. (that we know). All he did was inform his son on what is going on. Which is what a good parent should do.

The simple act of sharing a private email with his son ensured that the OP was put in the middle. At the very least, it was a lapse in judgement...at most, a blatant attempt at currying favor with the son as the injured party. A child, regardless of age, has no business in the middle of his/her parents' marriage issues.

Well Mom got home and tried to say how hes always at work that she is a single mom and that it was nice to have someone to talk to.

anyways she talked my dad into marriage counseling so I don't know whats going to happen hes willing to forgive her I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

Good or bad isn't for you to decide. Let them figure it out for themselves...this is not a fight that you want in on.

[Theinquisition]

Well Mom got home and tried to say how hes always at work that she is a single mom and that it was nice to have someone to talk to.

anyways she talked my dad into marriage counseling so I don't know whats going to happen hes willing to forgive her I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

I'd say its a good thing, them going to counseling shows that they are commited enough to the relationship to at least try and make it work.

[Orange Joe]

The simple act of sharing a private email with his son ensured that the OP was put in the middle. At the very least, it was a lapse in judgement...at most, a blatant attempt at currying favor with the son as the injured party. A child, regardless of age, has no business in the middle of his/her parents' marriage issues.



Good or bad isn't for you to decide. Let them figure it out for themselves...this is not a fight that you want in on.

I disagree. Just because you know something doesn't put you into the middle of it.


The simple act of sharing this with his son lets him know things are happening and to expect some bad times in the future. (hence the post here)

[swdan]

not to sound rude, but some more details on you and your parents relationship would be nice. There are different ways to react to this depending how your current relationship with your parents is.

+

ive got the same situation as op and id say details required.

my mom even refused to say "sorry" to dad.

it was like 4 years ago (i was 18). now father has a GF and i like to see him happy.
about me: now i have a house and a great wife

so stay calm and build your life

[chadwix]

I disagree. Just because you know something doesn't put you into the middle of it.


The simple act of sharing this with his son lets him know things are happening and to expect some bad times in the future. (hence the post here)

This is the case, he is telling his kid the truth.

Best of luck, try not to choose sides, though id side with your dad.

[Orange Joe]

Well Mom got home and tried to say how hes always at work that she is a single mom and that it was nice to have someone to talk to.

anyways she talked my dad into marriage counseling so I don't know whats going to happen hes willing to forgive her I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

You should focus on yourself more than what is going on with them. You are 17 now and them being together or not isn't going to effect you that much from here on out.

[Ricen]

I wouldn't trust your mother anymore.

[Snugglees]

In relation to the schoolwork. Use it as a distraction from the stuff going on with family. Make schoolwork your safe place if you get me. If either of your parents try to put their business on you tell em that you love them but it isn't your business.

[Blueobelisk]

Shun your Mom and testify so your Dad gets everything in the divorce. That's what I'd do.

[Zazzmi]

I disagree. Just because you know something doesn't put you into the middle of it.


The simple act of sharing this with his son lets him know things are happening and to expect some bad times in the future. (hence the post here)

You can disagree all you like. The fact of the matter remains that a marriage, and it's problems, are between TWO people. The children born of that marriage don't need (nor likely, WANT) to know of the particulars that resulted in the decline. Obviously, if the OP had decided at some point down the road to ask, that's one thing. But it's wrong to involve your children in the heat of the moment when emotions are running high. Bottom line, dad made a selfish and immature decision in showing that email to the OP. Let's hope that's the only time it happens.

[chadwix]

You can disagree all you like. The fact of the matter remains that a marriage, and it's problems, are between TWO people.

But it affects 3, sounds like you are a cheater.

[Orange Joe]

You can disagree all you like. The fact of the matter remains that a marriage, and it's problems, are between TWO people. The children born of that marriage don't need (nor likely, WANT) to know of the particulars that resulted in the decline. Obviously, if the OP had decided at some point down the road to ask, that's one thing. But it's wrong to involve your children in the heat of the moment when emotions are running high. Bottom line, dad made a selfish and immature decision in showing that email to the OP. Let's hope that's the only time it happens.

If that were true there would be no such thing as counselors.


I don't understand why you are trying to stat your opinion as fact.

---------- Post added 2013-01-02 at 07:07 PM ----------

I wouldn't trust your mother anymore.

Shun your Mom and testify so your Dad gets everything in the divorce. That's what I'd do.

Don't listen to people like this. What happens between your mother and father has(shouldn't) no effect on how she/he cares for you.

[haxartus]

What problem ? You are 17, I don't see why it should affect you that much. Stuff like this happens in life quite often. Get used to it.
It's probably the best for your parents to split up. Cheating indicates much deeper problems in the marriage, and couples that stay together only for the kids aren't very happy, and this affects the kids too.

[Deleted]

Do not get involved in this. This is something for them to handle. Try focusing on other things, they both still love you no matter how they feel for eachother.

[haxartus]

Do not get involved in this.

This is a pretty solid advice.
If you get involved in this, there is a good possibility that one of the sides will blame you for the events that happen afterwards, regardless of whether you were responsible for these events or not. They will never admit it directly, but it will become pretty obvious a few years down the line.

[Gandrake]

Just take note of the fact that your mother is someone of reprehensible character if the picture is really the way that it has been painted, and keep doing what you're doing. Not really anything you can do.

[dercaderca]

I guess this will make you #1 priority for sammiches now that your dad's out of the picture.

[Blockygame]

You were approached with evidence first?, looks like someone doesn't want you to blame him for what happened, but you're old enough to figure out things for yourself, their timing is a bit shitty.

[Gudder]

Could you plz post email, then i can advise

[Ragedaug]

agree. i find the mother's actions deplorable. but the dad essentially telling his kid "look, see what a whore your mother is?" is pretty fucked up

but what?? you find the Dad showing the kid the truth..no spin, just straight from the email, is worse the the deed?

I would agree that we could debate the point of whether the father should have exposed the mother's deception to his the kid. I believe there are valid points to both sides of that argument, and saying such will probably have a lot of people on both sides who think I'm dead wrong.

What I do not think is disputable is the fact that what Mother did was far worse then the Father exposing it. By extension how can it not be? If the act wasn't that big a deal, then no one would care much when/if it was exposed. The only reason we are discussing the act being exposed because of the horrendous nature of the act to begin with. On no world, is the Dad more at blame for letting the kid know what Mom was doing over Mom DOING was she was doing.