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  1. #1

    When to say "I love you" To her?

    I got to thinking tonight about the relationship I'm in with this girl. I'll give a little bit of a back story so y'all know whats up
    Two years ago I got back from working in Alaska (I was 16 at the time) I had gone there to earn money (15$/hour on the Northface doing dishes for my uncle..) to help my family get off the streets (We lived in an RV and parked in Walmart lots while I walked to a bus stop to go to school)
    My first day back from the airport, my mother took me to check out a place.
    As we pulled into the driveway of the home I realized it was the home of a girl I had ridden the bus with the school year before. Her house is 2 in 1 pretty much.
    I got out of the car and started walking my way towards the house, thinking she had moved. But to my surprise she came running out to give me a big hug. I was in a relationship with another girl at the time, long distance, and we were coming up on our year anniversary so a relationship with her never really hit me.

    I've never really had a set of rules about when or how to say "I love you" to someone. I've only said it meaningfully to one person, the girl I was in a relationship with prior to meeting the current one. She had said it first, and I was iffy at first but started to return the saying to her.

    Anyways, I've lived with this girl for 2 years. Her room is above mine, and I can hear her dancing around and stuff listening to her music. It makes my heart happy. We didn't start really telling each other about our feelings until September 28th of last year. Since then we've gotten a lot more serious. We haven't told either of our parents for fear of how they will treat us because of it. But we go to the park and such, and have long talks about life. I sneak out into her room at night when her parents go out to the beach. We sleep together.
    We got jobs together recently at a store to help our families be able to pay rent. We've taken some long strides together that I'm proud of. Shes a wonderful person, and lives in a rather harsh family environment. Shes adopted, and has a brother with severe autism/behavioral disorder.
    We were laying together the other day and she told me that no one had ever told her they loved her and meant it. That included her adopted parents. It made me have a sad inside, and I wanted to tell her I love you so bad, but I didn't. I wanted to say it in a special moment so she would know unquestionably that I meant it with all my heart.

    So heres my question. When is right to tell someone you love them? Should you wait for a special moment? Or really, is every moment you have with him/her a special moment in itself that you can create? Do you save those words for that "one person" that will one day come along and sweep you?

    I personally think throughout life I will have love, of different magnitudes and conditions for different people. I could honestly say I have loved 2 women in my life and be okay with that.
    How do you all perceive these words?

  2. #2
    No-one can tell you when to say it, you just have to figure that out for yourself by how you feel

  3. #3
    Deleted
    When you actually love her.

    You'll know the difference between actually loving someone and just liking/being interested/having feelings for someone when you experienced it. If you're not sure if you like someone or love someone, then you don't love them.

    I have only said it to one person, and it's also the only person I felt it for in my life. I feel like a lot of people consider liking someone as loving someone.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Dutchmagoz View Post
    When you actually love her.

    You'll know the difference between actually loving someone and just liking/being interested/having feelings for someone when you experienced it. If you're not sure if you like someone or love someone, then you don't love them.
    You'll know, trust the internet, we know things.
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  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Rorillane View Post
    I got to thinking tonight about the relationship I'm in with this girl. I'll give a little bit of a back story so y'all know whats up
    Two years ago I got back from working in Alaska (I was 16 at the time) I had gone there to earn money (15$/hour on the Northface doing dishes for my uncle..) to help my family get off the streets (We lived in an RV and parked in Walmart lots while I walked to a bus stop to go to school)
    My first day back from the airport, my mother took me to check out a place.
    As we pulled into the driveway of the home I realized it was the home of a girl I had ridden the bus with the school year before. Her house is 2 in 1 pretty much.
    I got out of the car and started walking my way towards the house, thinking she had moved. But to my surprise she came running out to give me a big hug. I was in a relationship with another girl at the time, long distance, and we were coming up on our year anniversary so a relationship with her never really hit me.

    I've never really had a set of rules about when or how to say "I love you" to someone. I've only said it meaningfully to one person, the girl I was in a relationship with prior to meeting the current one. She had said it first, and I was iffy at first but started to return the saying to her.

    Anyways, I've lived with this girl for 2 years. Her room is above mine, and I can hear her dancing around and stuff listening to her music. It makes my heart happy. We didn't start really telling each other about our feelings until September 28th of last year. Since then we've gotten a lot more serious. We haven't told either of our parents for fear of how they will treat us because of it. But we go to the park and such, and have long talks about life. I sneak out into her room at night when her parents go out to the beach. We sleep together.
    We got jobs together recently at a store to help our families be able to pay rent. We've taken some long strides together that I'm proud of. Shes a wonderful person, and lives in a rather harsh family environment. Shes adopted, and has a brother with severe autism/behavioral disorder.
    We were laying together the other day and she told me that no one had ever told her they loved her and meant it. That included her adopted parents. It made me have a sad inside, and I wanted to tell her I love you so bad, but I didn't. I wanted to say it in a special moment so she would know unquestionably that I meant it with all my heart.

    So heres my question. When is right to tell someone you love them? Should you wait for a special moment? Or really, is every moment you have with him/her a special moment in itself that you can create? Do you save those words for that "one person" that will one day come along and sweep you?

    I personally think throughout life I will have love, of different magnitudes and conditions for different people. I could honestly say I have loved 2 women in my life and be okay with that.
    How do you all perceive these words?
    She handed you the moment that would have made it special to HER. It's not about it feeling special to YOU. You dropped the ball, honestly. (Assuming you actually love her, which I can't imagine you would make this thread if you didn't.)
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  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Priestiality View Post
    She handed you the moment that would have made it special to HER. It's not about it feeling special to YOU. You dropped the ball, honestly. (Assuming you actually love her, which I can't imagine you would make this thread if you didn't.)
    I realize I totally stumbled passed the moment for her.

  7. #7
    You'll just know. Simple answer.

    It's up to you and how you feel. Don't rush it. Let it come naturally.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-09 at 10:46 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Rorillane View Post
    I realize I totally stumbled passed the moment for her.
    Yeah I kinda spotted that too. But hey, if you didn't say it, it wasn't the right moment. Don't worry about it, that won't help anything. It's in the past, time to move on and all that jazz.

    But yeah. You'll just know when is the right time, as unhelpful as that sounds.

    Can I also say that you have a really interesting life from what I've read here? Oo; I can't imagine that sort of life, haha.

  8. #8
    Herald of the Titans Kuthe's Avatar
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    Tell her when you actually know you love her, and when she says it.
    If you say it, and she doesn't. Man it's freaking awkward.
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  9. #9
    The Lightbringer Kerath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priestiality View Post
    She handed you the moment that would have made it special to HER. It's not about it feeling special to YOU. You dropped the ball, honestly. (Assuming you actually love her, which I can't imagine you would make this thread if you didn't.)
    I disagree.
    If he had said it then, it may have felt forced, like he was only saying it to make her feel better.

    OP, it's the right time to say it when you mean it, when you love her. There's no need to try and artificially create some perfect, special moment in which to say it. The fact that you feel that way about her, and vocalise it, will make the moment special all by itself.

    Good luck
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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Rorillane View Post
    I realize I totally stumbled passed the moment for her.
    So go talk to her and say something along the lines of 'remember when we were talking and you said you think no one has ever meant they love you when they said it to you. I didn't say it because I didn't want you to think it was just empty words that you wanted to hear, but I do. I can't imagine life without you and I can't stop myself from thinking about you all the time and I hope that you feel the same because the last thing I would ever want is to hurt you.'

    You should obviously put it in your own words, but yea...

  11. #11
    The Unstoppable Force Super Kami Dende's Avatar
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    Next time you are laying in bed together, hug her for awhile, then roll her over to face you and slowly kiss her. Like a reallly slow passionate kiss, then pull about 10cms away from her face so you can look into her eyes without going crosseyed, and just say "I Love You"

    She will probably literally tear your clothes off. But it sin't about the sex, she will know you meant it.

  12. #12
    It's way too much overhyped anyways. They are just words...

  13. #13
    Deleted
    Make it happen. It's good that you didn't take that opportunity to say it to her then, it would have been shit.
    Use this as a golden key man. Don't half ass it.

    Take her out on a date, splash some money, make it awesome. I understand you may not have money to splash, but it's not necessarily about the amount you splash. It's a treat, live a little. Although you don't even have to spend money, it's very possible to do it for free, as it's about the moment not the money.
    She'll thank you for saying it to her and showing her how just much you mean it. Say something like,
    "You told me no one had ever told you that they truly loved you, and I wanted to show you just how much that I love you."

  14. #14
    The Undying Cthulhu 2020's Avatar
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    Infatuation is wanting to be around a person all the time.

    Love is when you want to be with them no matter what, and are willing to look past differences and work through arguments and disagreements to continue an ongoing relationship with them.
    Last edited by Cthulhu 2020; 2013-01-09 at 11:14 AM.
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  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Priestiality View Post
    She handed you the moment that would have made it special to HER. It's not about it feeling special to YOU. You dropped the ball, honestly. (Assuming you actually love her, which I can't imagine you would make this thread if you didn't.)
    I don't completely agree. That would have been like saying, "I love you, too." Telling someone you love them because you think you should or because they are begging you to(explicitly or not) doesn't give it more weight. On the other hand, if you actually do love her, or think you do, well, yeah.

    I don't know if you do love her, or you just have a sex-amplified crush. But hey, you're young, you have to figure these things out, and half the fun of love is dragging yourself out of the wreckage of one relationship and into the next one.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Kuthe View Post
    Tell her when you actually know you love her, and when she says it.
    If you say it, and she doesn't. Man it's freaking awkward.
    I hadn't really worried about if she would say it back or not. I want to say it when I feel it, regardless of how she feels and if it takes her time to come to that conclusion, or if never at all then that's okay.
    I think she wants to say it to me, but is fearful that I will not return it.

  17. #17
    High Overlord Nitsuj's Avatar
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    It really sounds like you're making some nice memories. Looking back I can see my young loves as the purest feelings of joy I ever had. I'm not saying any of it was real but it was real enough and fun. The heat breaks that seemed horrible at that time pale in comparison to the good times. Go for it man you only live once.
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  18. #18
    The Lightbringer Kouki's Avatar
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    You need to break up the long distance relationship.

    The girl your sneaking into her room at night, the one you want to know if its ok to say you lover her 2.

    Yes Say it and here is why, Can you live without her? The one woman you cant live without is the only one you say "I love you 2"

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Kouki View Post
    You need to break up the long distance relationship.

    The girl your sneaking into her room at night, the one you want to know if its ok to say you lover her 2.

    Yes Say it and here is why, Can you live without her? The one woman you cant live without is the only one you say "I love you 2"
    The long distance thing broke up a few months after I moved into the new place. No double dating here :P

  20. #20
    The Lightbringer imabanana's Avatar
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    When ? Right now, shut the damn computer and go

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