Why are women so afraid

[Levicopter]

So reading these forums lately(lots of posts by a few certain members about this) as well as a post a women shared on facebook got me thinking why are some women so scared of men been potential rapist, i have also seen women cross the road when approaching then cross back down the block to avoid walking past me and other men. I have seen and head numerous things lately about how all women should assume all men are rapist unless they are verified been ok (friend, friend of a friend etc..)
So women of MMO champ, do you constantly walk around thinking all men are rapist, do you live a constant state of fear. Cause this just seems odd to tarnish all random men you encounter as rapist. If you are scared what lengths do you go to, to protect yourself.

When i walk down alone at night i am not afraid of muggers or murderers walking the other way, it just seems odd and a little paranoid
I do not think it is right just to assume every man is a rapist

I am only paranoid at night when I'm walking alone a dark path... but I am neurotic...
I trust men and I know that there are MORE normal men who don't behave like wild starving animals.
While walking anywhere, I don't mind if a man is close... but if he is starting talking to me in a very inappropriate way or "checks" me out like he would be looking at some object, I start to avoid him because I get scared... I consider myself WAY weaker than a guy so I guess that's normal?

But I think it's the same way of thinking like.. when some men think, a woman wears short skirts and cleavages for THEM. :/

[Vanyali]

theres more, like never leave your drink alone at a party, dont answer the door to strangers (or dont inlatch it if you must), etc.

these were all taught to me by my mother & grandmother. my grandmother grew up in japan and is the most cautious of us, with good reason.

also keys in hand so you don't get attacked searching through a purse for them, never admit to being home alone, get the name + description of anyone coming to work around/ in your house...

though most of them seem more common sense for ANYONE, not just women.

[Felya]

I'm not interested in condoning anything. I'm only interested in exploring possibly different explanation for something, I'm no more a partisan of than murder. Just because you like to think about something and might question it doesn't mean you think highly of it, or whatever other obtuse and righteous nonsense.

Where did I say you condone anything? You are asking people who fear being a victim, to see it from the assailants view. You do not understand why that's not being taken well?

[Aeluron Lightsong]

I am only paranoid at night when I'm walking alone a dark path... but I am neurotic...
I trust men and I know that there are MORE normal men who don't behave like wild starving animals.
While walking anywhere, I don't mind if a man is close... but if he is starting talking to me in a very inappropriate way or "checks" me out like he would be looking at some object, I start to avoid him because I get scared... I consider myself WAY weaker than a guy so I guess that's normal?

But I think it's the same way of thinking like.. when some men think, a woman wears short skirts and cleavages for THEM. :/

I'm of the mind they do it because *It's comfortable*. At least that is what I seem to get.

[Deleted]

I don't approve the use of objectification in arguments regarding such things.

Well, that' fine. I apologize if it made you feel belittled, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to make my post as short and well constructed as possible, only reason for my poor wording.

The statement was poorly worded really, when discussing sensitive subjects its best to try and be sensitive.

Yes, I learnt that now. Won't happen again

[Laize]

I am only paranoid at night when I'm walking alone a dark path... but I am neurotic...
I trust men and I know that there are MORE normal men who don't behave like wild starving animals.
While walking anywhere, I don't mind if a man is close... but if he is starting talking to me in a very inappropriate way or "checks" me out like he would be looking at some object, I start to avoid him because I get scared... I consider myself WAY weaker than a guy so I guess that's normal?

But I think it's the same way of thinking like.. when some men think, a woman wears short skirts and cleavages for THEM. :/

I wish women would understand that it doesn't matter who they wear the short skirts and plunging necklines for.

You can wear them for the President of the United States for all we care... we're still going to look.

I mean... you shouldn't need Captain Hindsight to tell you that if you don't want men to look at your ass, you shouldn't wear tight pants.

[Arganis]

I've never talked to you before, actually. Accusing me of disliking you personally because of that is amusing, but fairly off base. I'm "taking their side" because you wrote (and the response written to):

"You analogy falls completely flat simply because following your train of thought, science can't prove there is reason behind rape. It can't and there isn't. Rape is a moral choice. Get over it. There is no constructive discussion.

That's where you're wrong and you show your ignorance. Ever hear of psychology, psychiatry? Those are sciences and they've proved many things through deduction and analysis. But nothing I say will make you change your mind because you're just like Endus."


Bolded the important bits.

The part that science proved was that sex is almost a non-factor in rape.

Yes and his argument was that science can't prove the reasons behind rape and yet you chose to use your post against me, even though his was blatantly wrong as well on more than one level and that's what I was attacking him about. Why is that you think? I'll tell you. It's because you picked me to disagree with first and that right there proves my previous point.

Anyways I'm over run. You people win ok. I'm a rapist, I condone rape, I think rape is ok because it's hormonal and Satan is my dad and female Diablo my mother. I'm evil and you guys are awesome and everything is well that ends well. Happy now? Whatever, I truly am done here.

[Solo66]

the reason men have a higher violent crime victimization is because they are more likely to be engaging in risky and/or violent activities.

Aha! So you admit that one's choice of lifestyle and behavior has an impact on their likelihood to end up as a victim of a violent crime. That sounds suspiciously like victim-blaming. What happens to men if they suggest that a woman's choice of lifestyle and behavior impacts her chance of becoming a rape victim?

(And yes, I see that you have posted some guidelines for how women can avoid being raped -- which I agree with, by the way. The fact remains that a man making similar suggestions would be pilloried as a victim-blamer.)

[Cthulhu 2020]

Rabble rabble

Are we really going to do this dance where someone tries to prove that women lie about rape more than they actually do?

The 2% of rapes being falsely reported came from FBI.gov of reported rapes, not supposed rapes. It's a fact. It's there. To try to imply that that number is higher than it actually is implies that women are liars, and the men who are acquitted are never liars.

Many studies are inconclusive because of the low report rate. That does not change the statistics that ARE out there. You're trying to imply the falsely accused rate is higher than it has been proven to be.

[Raymac]

These types of threads are always tiring. It's always people arguing from either extreme side and it always sounds the same. The chauvanists usually end up sounding like some backwoods hick from a hundred years ago and the feminists are usually just preaching equal rights until its time to pick up the check or get into a life boat. Double standards suck no matter who it is.

[Felya]

I'm of the mind they do it because *It's comfortable*. At least that is what I seem to get.

That's only because you don't see it from his perspective. Women shouldn't avoid men, because the man might feel bad. If the floor feels weak, are you going to insult the carpenter and not walk on it? /sarcasm

[Cirque]

"We" don't live in a state of fear, but we're cautious. When 50% of the entire world population can overpower you in most cases, that's what you do. You get cautious.

Besides that, almost all women will have experienced unwanted intimacy in their lives - not necessarily raping. Think of whistling, sexist comments, slap on the ass, creepy stares by guys that could be your grandfather (there's a reason we call that "looks that undress you" in some languages). Add to that that we *know* these guys could literally take what they want from us, yeah, we'll sidestep. In short, we have no reason to be trusting of strange men when on our own, especially not if those men are together, under the influence of alcohol, or could otherwise be tempted to misbehave (alone at night, etc).

Edit: I really must add it is probably a very hard thing to imagine for a man.

[starlord]

Aha! So you admit that one's choice of lifestyle and behavior has an impact on their likelihood to end up as a victim of a violent crime. That sounds suspiciously like victim-blaming. What happens to men if they suggest that a woman's choice of lifestyle and behavior impacts her chance of becoming a rape victim?

"general violent crime" and "sexual assault" are considered different things. its well studied that men are more likely to engage in risky activities, and also well studied that there is no correlation they can find for rape victimization, other than gender.

[Vanyali]

Yes and his argument was that science can't prove the reasons behind rape and yet you chose to use your post against me, even though his was blatantly wrong on more than one level and that's what I was attacking him about. Why is that you think? I'll tell you. It's because you picked me to disagree with first and tha right there proves my previous point.

Actually, it was against everyone in the thread who said sex had anything to do with rape. You just happened to pull psychology, which made it more on-topic than randomly posting "rape isn't about sexlol".

But really, victim more on me o.O

[Arganis]

But really, victim more on me o.O

Try harder.

[Laize]

Are we really going to do this dance where someone tries to prove that women lie about rape more than they actually do?

The 2% of rapes being falsely reported came from FBI.gov of reported rapes, not supposed rapes. It's a fact. It's there. To try to imply that that number is higher than it actually is implies that women are liars, and the men who are acquitted are never liars.

Many studies are inconclusive because of the low report rate. That does not change the statistics that ARE out there. You're trying to imply the falsely accused rate is higher than it has been proven to be.

I'm not just talking about the falsely accused and never was. I'm talking about the erroneous idea that that graph puts together that every one of those little dudes is a rape.... an actual crime.... when the conviction rate suggest that only about 1 in 3 "rapes" is a criminal offense.

I'm not implying all or even most women are liars. Nor am I implying that a man acquitted of rape means the woman was a liar.

I'm implying that we have incredibly shitty statistics on the matter and I'd be willing to bet that of those unreported rapes, a far larger share than 2% are actual false accusations (Though never reported). It would make total sense if that were true since most women who would falsely claim a guy raped her would be completely aware of the fact that such an accusation would fall apart in 10 minutes if she went to the cops.

[Aspect of Death]

theres more, like never leave your drink alone at a party, dont answer the door to strangers (or dont inlatch it if you must), etc.

these were all taught to me by my mother & grandmother. my grandmother grew up in japan and is the most cautious of us, with good reason.

I understand the rules, as parents told me "Not to accept candy from a stranger", or "Dont enter the car of a stranger" when i was 6y/old. I assume they told me because they had seen it on the news etc.
But do you know anyone who have been raped?, or have gotten drugged by substitute in the drink? attacked at the car etcetc? (or you yourself) Or do you go around 100% alert "incase" there will be an attacker? (Not trying to offend, or anything, just curious)

The sad thing is that, and speaking from first hand experience here, young women in the US are taught that for their safety. That gets hammered into your head over and over from puberty onwards.

Im sorry women have to feel this way, be on guard for the smallest thing. And it shouldnt be this way :s

[Xanjori]

I'm not just talking about the falsely accused and never was. I'm talking about the erroneous idea that that graph puts together that every one of those little dudes is a rape.... an actual crime.... when the conviction rate suggest that only about 1 in 3 "rapes" is a criminal offense.

I'm not implying all or even most women are liars. Nor am I implying that a man acquitted of rape means the woman was a liar.

I'm implying that we have incredibly shitty statistics on the matter and I'd be willing to bet that of those unreported rapes, a far larger share than 2% are actual false accusations (Though never reported). It would make total sense if that were true since most women who would falsely claim a guy raped her would be completely aware of the fact that such an accusation would fall apart in 10 minutes if she went to the cops.

I honestly don't understand why someone would falsely claim to be raped, but they wouldn't report it. What do you gain from it?

[Vanyali]

I understand the rules, as parents told me "Not to accept candy from a stranger", or "Dont enter the car of a stranger" when i was 6y/old. I assume they told me because they had seen it on the news etc.
But do you know anyone who have been raped?, or have gotten drugged by substitute in the drink? attacked at the car etcetc? (or you yourself) Or do you go around 100% alert "incase" there will be an attacker? (Not trying to offend, or anything, just curious)

I was 12, at my mom's friend's house because our house was being fumigated (remember those biiiiiig tents over the houses?).

Woke up to find one of her 13-14 y/o boys stroking my arm, which then progressed to dry humping. This was a guy I'd hung out with a ton (as well as his brother and two sisters) as our parents were close, also a highly christian family.

[Endus]

Yes and his argument was that science can't prove the reasons behind rape

I'd dearly love you to try and find a quote from me anywhere in this thread where I stated anything even close to that.

I didn't cite scientific papers, but the things I've been arguing come from the psychological papers I've read on the subject. Vanyali linked some of them, which is why I pointed at them myself afterwards.

I am by no means "anti-science". My point was that science HAS looked into the reasons behind rape. And they basically boil down to anger, misogyny, and domination, to the extent that some rapists don't even care about sexual release.

You keep deliberately misquoting me, and ascribing to me things I never even hinted at (like the Godwin assertions earlier), and I really wish you'd stop. It's difficult to have a conversation when the other guy keeps inventing stuff to pretend you've said.