Why are women so afraid

[Solo66]

"general violent crime" and "sexual assault" are considered different things.

Ah, so now we get down to brass tacks. When men are victimized, it's their fault. When women are victimized, it's not their fault. Got it. And let me tell you, I'm *shocked* that you hold that opinion. (Not really shocked.)

I missed the post about the infographic that a few people are discussing -- it's not RAINN's infographic, is it? That data is based on a massive set of unsupportable assumptions, and has been torn to shreds by better minds than me. (If that's not the data at issue, then never mind and carry on.)

[Deleted]

I honestly don't understand why someone would falsely claim to be raped, but they wouldn't report it. What do you gain from it?

Some people feel regret after consented sex and they therefor feel violated and therefor raped. This is probably just a one night stand issue and the effect of sobering up the day after fully realizing what you've done.

[Laize]

I honestly don't understand why someone would falsely claim to be raped, but they wouldn't report it. What do you gain from it?

Social stigma against the accused. Or perhaps they don't hate the person they're accusing but are embarrassed to have slept with that person? There are plenty of nuanced reasons.

I don't believe many women would rather go through court proceedings than deal with shame of having slept with someone they feel they shouldn't have... that doesn't mean I don't think there are plenty out there who wouldn't privately accuse someone of taking advantage of them.

[Deleted]

But do you know anyone who have been raped?, or have gotten drugged by substitute in the drink? attacked at the car etcetc? (or you yourself) Or do you go around 100% alert "incase" there will be an attacker? (Not trying to offend, or anything, just curious)

Has happened to me and some guy tried to pretend that he knew and tried to get me out, saying I had too much to drink but my friends saw it. He legged it when he noticed people reacted.

Also had sex with guys because I didn't dare saying no to some of them.

[starlord]

I understand the rules, as parents told me "Not to accept candy from a stranger", or "Dont enter the car of a stranger" when i was 6y/old. I assume they told me because they had seen it on the news etc.
But do you know anyone who have been raped?, or have gotten drugged by substitute in the drink? attacked at the car etcetc? (or you yourself) Or do you go around 100% alert "incase" there will be an attacker? (Not trying to offend, or anything, just curious)

Im sorry women have to feel this way, be on guard for the smallest thing. And it shouldnt be this way :s

its just in case, but everyone has stories of close calls etc. ive had one myself (although it was an in-law).

[Solo66]

A few more data points for anyone who's interested:

Violent crimes against females are about 18% more likely to be reported than violent crimes against males.

Female victims of violent crimes know their attackers in about 70% of these crimes, compared to about 45% for males. So again, the idea that you could be attacked while walking down the street, while of course always true, is less of a reality for women than for men. By my quick math (based on higher that last data point, and higher rates of victimization among men (by about 20%) and among blacks (by about 20%)), a black male is about 2.3 times more likely to be violently attacked by a stranger than a white female.

So, if you're a white female, you have much less to fear when you're walking down the street than if you're a black male.

[whathump]

I honestly don't understand why someone would falsely claim to be raped, but they wouldn't report it. What do you gain from it?

Sympathy or attention from friends/family would be my guess. But it would make more sense to not accuse anyone in that case. To turn friends/people against someone, it would make sense to accuse that particular person. It would also make the most sense to not report the made up incidents to the police because it can lead to the lie being found out and a loss of sympathy. At least, that's my guess. People who do either of course I would assume are rare and are just terrible people who likely manipulate in other ways as well. False accusations or false reports from this small minority make it crappy for actual rape victims.

[starlord]

Ah, so now we get down to brass tacks. When men are victimized, it's their fault. When women are victimized, it's not their fault. Got it. And let me tell you, I'm *shocked* that you hold that opinion. (Not really shocked.)

no, its a pretty well known fact that that is the reason. the men most at risk for being victims of violence and to commit it are young men who go around doing risky things.

[Paulosio]

If it's late and they are alone they are smart to be cautious. Why bother taking a risk ?

I don't think it's because they think "all men are rapists".... However there are plenty of bad people around and you only have to meet 1 of those people once. Why put yourself into a risky situation that is easily avoidable.

It's the same reason i'd always offer to walk a female friend home if it was dark.... I don't think all or most men are rapists but i'd prefer to make sure someone was safe when it's so easy to do so.

[Deleted]

Has happened to me and some guy tried to pretend that he knew and tried to get me out, saying I had too much to drink but my friends saw it. He legged it when he noticed people reacted.

Actually happened to me too once. It was a private party with loads of strangers and I probably took the wrong glass or he spiced my glass unintentionally. I'd say it was just luck that I got it as for me it was just involuntary sleep. I'm still pretty curious to why none had put me in a bed or a couch though. Woke up on the floor like a bum

[Aspect of Death]

I was 12, at my mom's friend's house because our house was being fumigated (remember those biiiiiig tents over the houses?).

Woke up to find one of her 13-14 y/o boys stroking my arm, which then progressed to dry humping. This was a guy I'd hung out with a ton (as well as his brother and two sisters) as our parents were close, also a highly christian family.

That's disgusting, that reminds me, a friend of mine had the same happen to her (only she was 17, around that, long time ago) at a school trip, she said she woke up by (one of her classmates) were touching her ass. I wasnt there so i dont know if it was true or not. But wtf goes throu the mind of a person who would do something like this..

[whathump]

no, its a pretty well known fact that that is the reason. the men most at risk for being victims of violence and to commit it are young men who go around doing risky things.

So, in terms of being a victim, it is a man's fault for doing a risky thing such as hanging around with the wrong crowd when it is apparent that something bad might happen, but it is not a woman's fault for doing a risky thing such as hanging around with the wrong crowd when it is apparent that something bad might happen? I'm not sure I understand your logic here.

[Arganis]

I'd dearly love you to try and find a quote from me anywhere in this thread where I stated anything even close to that.

I didn't cite scientific papers, but the things I've been arguing come from the psychological papers I've read on the subject. Vanyali linked some of them, which is why I pointed at them myself afterwards.

I am by no means "anti-science". My point was that science HAS looked into the reasons behind rape. And they basically boil down to anger, misogyny, and domination, to the extent that some rapists don't even care about sexual release.

You keep deliberately misquoting me, and ascribing to me things I never even hinted at (like the Godwin assertions earlier), and I really wish you'd stop. It's difficult to have a conversation when the other guy keeps inventing stuff to pretend you've said.

Man you really are unreal. First of all that post of mine you quoted wasn't about you but Regeniss, second I could go find a bunch of quotes where you basically prove how ridiculous you really are but I'm not going to bother because you've already proved to be a waste of my time. There's nothing more to say to someone who somehow manages to answer my arguments with "you're a rapist" and "you condone rape" just to sound cool when there's absolutely no reason to think that from what was posted.

Anyway I really am too tired to continue. So that's it regardless. On that note I'm shutting down my browser before I get trolled any further into wasting my time in this thread.

[Choptimus]

Why are PEOPLE so afraid?

Sexism won't go away until you stop defining people by their gender. Just like racism. This whole thread is full of hypocrisy.

[Laize]

A few more data points for anyone who's interested:

Violent crimes against females are about 18% more likely to be reported than violent crimes against males.

Female victims of violent crimes know their attackers in about 70% of these crimes, compared to about 45% for males. So again, the idea that you could be attacked while walking down the street, while of course always true, is less of a reality for women than for men. By my quick math (based on higher that last data point, and higher rates of victimization among men (by about 20%) and among blacks (by about 20%)), a black male is about 2.3 times more likely to be violently attacked by a stranger than a white female.

So, if you're a white female, you have much less to fear when you're walking down the street than if you're a black male.

I've never really understood why women were the ones who were so afraid of violent crime when men are the ones who are overwhelmingly the victims of it.

Rape? Yeah that's mostly women. Murder? Assault? Battery? Almost all men.

In fact, rape comprises about 6% of violent crime... and the other 94% if almost exclusively male victims.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Apparently this is bad.

Infracted

[Aspect of Death]

Also had sex with guys because I didn't dare saying no to some of them.

Nooo, so when women say "no", still smiling/laughing, and ends up sleeping with me.. They are really just afraid to say "no fuck off?"
But why are you "afraid" to say no? because they will be angry, stop being friends, what? (you dont have to answer if you dont want to)

[starlord]

So, in terms of being a victim, it is a man's fault for doing a risky thing such as hanging around with the wrong crowd when it is apparent that something bad might happen, but it is not a woman's fault for doing a risky thing such as hanging around with the wrong crowd when it is apparent that something bad might happen? I'm not sure I understand your logic here.

when it comes to victimization of two completely different things, yeah.. why dont we compare the same crimes?

[Deleted]

Nooo, so when women say "no", still smiling/laughing, and ends up sleeping with me.. They are really just afraid to say "no fuck off?"
But why are you "afraid" to say no? because they will be angry, stop being friends, what? (you dont have to answer if you dont want to)

http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...2#post20178012
http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...7#post20177917

Do you understand the problem? Why I would be too scared?

[Blayze]

I'd dearly love you to try and find a quote from me anywhere in this thread where I stated anything even close to that.

I didn't cite scientific papers, but the things I've been arguing come from the psychological papers I've read on the subject. Vanyali linked some of them, which is why I pointed at them myself afterwards.

I am by no means "anti-science". My point was that science HAS looked into the reasons behind rape. And they basically boil down to anger, misogyny, and domination, to the extent that some rapists don't even care about sexual release.

You keep deliberately misquoting me, and ascribing to me things I never even hinted at (like the Godwin assertions earlier), and I really wish you'd stop. It's difficult to have a conversation when the other guy keeps inventing stuff to pretend you've said.

Misogyny being a reason for rape would only be possible if gay, lesbian, and female-on-male rape were impossible concepts.