God... I used to initiate everything with my ex. I even initiated the relationship in the first place. For me, I would always hope that my boyfriend would initiate messages/calls with me because I used to have to do it 90% of the time for almost 3 years (Not even exaggerating). Hardly any effort on his part to connect. No problem for him to connect during the first 2 years of the relationship though (honeymoon stage...).I was pretty much the backbone to the relationship after that... In pretty much every case, even for girls who are never ones to call in the first place, it is just a reassurance thing; it tells them that the boyfriend is thinking, "you are important to me. I am thinking of you. I want your company".
Last edited by Faunwea; 2013-04-22 at 02:16 AM.
Sometimes the girl forgets, we like that too :P even if we won't admit it.
I feel this is one of the places where "opposites attract" doesn't work. Both people have to be relatively similar in terms of how much "reassurance" they need while in a relationship. You can't have someone needy with someone extremely independent. A guy could be really needy but if his gf is too, then they wouldn't seem so needy to each other, if you get what I'm saying. It helps to have someone on the same page concerning this issue.
i hate clingy ones.
I'm my experience, a lot of girls just want to be told what to do regarding this situation. They suffer from a bit of neuroticism about this issue. They won't call unless you specifically tell them "You can pick up the phone and call me whenever you want, I don't think your too needy or anything!"
I've actually been thanked for giving permission to call.
Just remember, they can be neurotic. They can be unsure of it being a turnoff for them to be always needing you. So take the edge off. Give permission.
I will add, give permission if you're ok with it. It doesn't help either party to have surpressed issues; if clingy-ness, or on the other end, independence, bothers you in a relationship and it's something you can't live with, then don't, because ultimately it'll be a waste of time.
Trying to understand women is like looking into the eye of insanity itself.
Just don't do it.
Why am I back here, I don't even play these games anymore
The problem with the internet is parallel to its greatest achievement: it has given the little man an outlet where he can be heard. Most of the time however, the little man is a little man because he is not worth hearing.
It's kind of societal tradition, at least where I am, that the guy initiates communication. This applies from first talking to the woman, to calling during the relationship, to asking her to marry, and so on.
I don't see a problem with it. I just send my GF a courtesy text or email every day, takes 10 seconds of my time. If she wants to actually talk, she'll let me know in the response.
Hell... I don't think I'd want a GF that called me all the time.
I get annoyed when I ask mine to call and he doesn't, though at that point I'd call him myself.
When I was younger and it happened I felt upset because I felt like he had other things more important than I was and grand scheme not being able to spare 10-30 seconds on a curtsy call/text to otherwise say he can't or wasn't going to is a bit of an ego buster especially if it was a promise. I felt like I would be a bother to him if I were to call instead but of course that's just my insecurity talking. I think a lot of it comes with immaturity.
Edit:
However, if we're talking just random pop in/check up calls instead of a set promise I wouldn't mind if he didn't, I'd call him if that's the case just to say Hi if I felt the need and don't understand those who don't.
Last edited by K i s u; 2013-04-22 at 04:40 AM.
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Any girl that can't initiate anything herself (sadly, a whole lot of them) isn't a girl I'd ever be with, so it doesn't concern me.
Well i have never had a BF/GF like that but i kind of understand why some girls sometime feel bad when their BFs don't call them, i mean i get kind of frustrated when i see that if i don't call my friends i would lose contact with them cause they never call me, they never bother to make a simple call just to ask what's new or anything like that..., and that makes me feel that the only one that really cares about our friendship is me, i think that could be almost the same in that case.
Note: No, i'm not talking about those dailys calls, at least once a month, in case of GF/BF at least 1 every 3 or 4 days
They just don't want to feel like they are being ignored. That is the best guess I have.
Why am I back here, I don't even play these games anymore
The problem with the internet is parallel to its greatest achievement: it has given the little man an outlet where he can be heard. Most of the time however, the little man is a little man because he is not worth hearing.
Yeah, I've noticed this as well. I let them worry about it. I have things to do that are more important than calling/talking to her 24/7.
As always, George Carlin enlightens us.
i am a more direct type of person. i dont play games like so many women seem to like to do. if a women isnt direct with me i wont bother with her. things like this are irritating to me and just put me in a crabby mood.
r.i.p. alleria. 1997-2017. blizzard ruined alleria forever. blizz assassinated alleria's character and appearance.
i will never forgive you for this blizzard.
that's a big if
anyways, I call once a day at least, texts in between sometimes ... if she's not answering then something has come up, and I can talk to her when she calls back or the next day, depending on what happened. And she calls too, there's no rule set in stone or anything it's like if I want to talk to her, then I call her, simple.
And I do that cause I like her, if it was not obvious :P.
All i have to say is, Ive seen guys who do the exact same thing. Best thing to do is just call her/him, even if your busy just call and say "hey just saying goodnight/good morning. You'll be surprised that it works wonders, its all about the thought.