Girlfriend lives with a bunch of guys

[BananaHandsB]

I do trust her. I am 100% sure she wont do anything she should not be doing. Still it feels very weird!
I´m not worried she will do anything stupid. I´m worried the guys are assholes! putting up spycams in the shower and what not.. :P

See if you still feel 100% after a big fight.

[Deleted]

What if your girlfriend lived in an apartment with 4 guys. Would you be fine with that?

Girlfriend studies to be an engineer and are currently living in an apartment with 4 guys and she thinks i´m silly cause i don´t much like it.
I trust her, but i know what guys are like.

Are you suggesting they'd rape her by saying you don't trust them? Or is it that she would give in to them if they were flirting with her that is a problem? If so that's a problem with you not trusting her.

[The Casualty]

It would be a little weird since we have 2 kids together, but if we didn't? Yeah, totally fine with it. My girlfriend works with pretty much all guys while I work with mostly women. I don't think we have ever doubted our commitment.

That said, a person can cheat anywhere, easily. Years ago, I used to meet up with this girl after work on her way home to her bf (I was single at the time) she had a flex schedule so he never knew and I certainly wasn't her roommate - the point is that unless you are willing to follow your gf everywhere you have to trust or be worried every time she steps out of your sight that she could be sneaking off to be with someone else.

Also living with the person probably makes it harder. If its a fling/one night stand, they have to see that person day after day.

[Deleted]

If you trust her; and you have no reason to think the guys are rapists or perverts, I don't really see the massive problem. I lived through my late teens and early 20s in shared housing with 4 other guys (seperate bedrooms, shared living area, kitchen and bathroom), never had any problems. I had boyfriends and I brought them home and none of the guys I dated seemed to be that bothered by me sharing some of the space with other guys - we had parties and got drunk and nothing weird or inappropriate ever happened. Most adults are perfectly capable of not sleeping with everyone they're in close proximity with.

When you're ready for her to move in with you then you'll have something to offer her; until the meantime, trust her and accept her decisions and get to know her friends yourself. She's choosing you to be her bf. If she wanted any of these other guys, she'd be with one of them and not you. If they want her and she doesn't want them, so what, unless you genuinely believe that she's not safe living there and then I'd say gather up whatever evidence you have and try to help her find a new place - but only if you genuinely have a good reason to believe that these guys are up to no good.

Think of this as a lesson in trust and in believing that men and women can be friends without it having to be sexual... it'll help you in future relationships.

[wowaccounttom]

Are you suggesting they'd rape her by saying you don't trust them? Or is it that she would give in to them if they were flirting with her that is a problem? If so that's a problem with you not trusting her.

Seems that what was meant is that women, like men, can be pigs (this is true here or anywhere else in the world).., well, you don't call a girl a pig but I doubt saying what they are called would be much appreciated.

[Namarus]

I do trust her. I am 100% sure she wont do anything she should not be doing. Still it feels very weird!
I´m not worried she will do anything stupid. I´m worried the guys are assholes! putting up spycams in the shower and what not.. :P

You should dump her, she deserves better than being with someone so paranoid. Spy cameras ... seriously? She's a fucking engineer, you think she can't spot that shit?

[Itisamuh]

Are you suggesting they'd rape her by saying you don't trust them? Or is it that she would give in to them if they were flirting with her that is a problem? If so that's a problem with you not trusting her.

Or it's him having common sense. You don't have to actively distrust your partner to wish they'd have some basic relationship courtesy.

[c2dholla619]

I instantly feel sorry for any girl who gets involved with you. Control freak with trust issues.

its not that i dont trust her its that i wouldnt trust 4 horny dudes. the majority of the females i have been with like a guy to be a man and use the balls he was born with while being understanding. i wouldnt mind her going to a party with multi dudes but living there is another story. why live with 4 horny dudes when she can live with me (one horny dude). ever watch the show new girl each one of the dudes there had thoughts of having sex with jess (1 girl living with 3 dude).

we are nothing more then animals bro.

[Xargoth6634]

I'd trust her, but that wouldn't mean I'd like the situation. In the event that the relationship had progressed far enough I'd probably ask her to move in with me instead.

[Ashnazg]

Reading the responses in this thread is hilarious.

Do any of you live in a big city? In New York, apartment shares are a fact of life among young people. Good luck finding a completely unisex group of roommates.

I lived with 1 financial analyst and two models when I first came to NY for a year. Nothing ever happened between us and my girlfriend wasn't jealous in the least. My girlfrield also lived with 2 males for a year and nothing happened between them either (that I know of, anyway).

Its not a big deal if you're a modern thinker. If you're still stuck in last century, then I guess I can see how that could be an issue.

[Deleted]

Seems that what was meant is that women, like men, can be pigs (this is true here or anywhere else in the world).., well, you don't call a girl a pig but I doubt saying what they are called would be much appreciated.

So it's him not trusting her then.

[Biged781]

I trust her, but i know what guys are like.

What, like, rapists?

its not that i dont trust her its that i wouldnt trust 4 horny dudes.

Do you trust her? If so then what's the problem? What does their behavior have to do with anything? Have they actually acted like pigs or are you just generalizing? Are you insecure such that these guys hitting on her makes you feel like she's going to leave you? Well, that's your problem.

[Nero Duskwind]

You would have no problem with your GF living with 4 guys?
Just think if you lived with 4 girls and they were hot and they always flirted with you.
Girls are no different, its human nature.

No. I'd trust my woman to have some restraint and be faithful and I'd expect her to do the same for me. If there isn't a mutual sense of trust, why bother continuing the relationship? And, no, this isn't the opinion of some white knight beta male either. I've cheated and have been cheated on. The shame of breaking a loved one's trust is just as painful as having your own trust in someone broken.

[wolphe]

just to show the bad side of this:
My ex and I was in the same situation, I chose the trust her part and didn't think much of it.
Today, shes my x, and she lives with one of thoose guys.

But honestly, if she hooks up with one of them, shes not ment for you :P

[Deleted]

Without sounding like a dick, there are 2 reasons why u dont have to worry:
1. They are engineers
2. She's an engineer

She's doing a study that has a 1/10 woman/man ratio. Assuming shes in a frat house, the odds she has even 1 female roommate is like 4%.

[Tradewind]

its not that i dont trust her its that i wouldnt trust 4 horny dudes. the majority of the females i have been with like a guy to be a man and use the balls he was born with while being understanding. i wouldnt mind her going to a party with multi dudes but living there is another story. why live with 4 horny dudes when she can live with me (one horny dude). ever watch the show new girl each one of the dudes there had thoughts of having sex with jess (1 girl living with 3 dude).

we are nothing more then animals bro.

So in your mind men are all just rapey time bombs? That given enough time, proximity and confined space to a female we will just rape them?

[Nero Duskwind]

just to show the bad side of this:
My ex and I was in the same situation, I chose the trust her part and didn't think much of it.
Today, shes my x, and she lives with one of thoose guys.

But honestly, if she hooks up with one of them, shes not ment for you :P

Her loss, not yours. What are the chances someone better fell in your lap afterwards?

[Deleted]

Reading the responses in this thread is hilarious.

Do any of you live in a big city? In New York, apartment shares are a fact of life among young people. Good luck finding a completely unisex group of roommates.

I lived with 1 financial analyst and two models when I first came to NY for a year. Nothing ever happened between us and my girlfriend wasn't jealous in the least. My girlfrield also lived with 2 males for a year and nothing happened between them either (that I know of, anyway).

Its not a big deal if you're a modern thinker. If you're still stuck in last century, then I guess I can see how that could be an issue.

Sweeping generalisation much? Nothing to do with 'modern thinking' as you so ineptly put it. Get of your high horse and realise not everyone is like you or your girlfriend, also realise that while you are not promiscuous others are. Having a fuck buddy / flat mate is normal for a lot of people.

[The Casualty]

Sweeping generalisation much? Nothing to do with 'modern thinking' as you so ineptly put it. Get of your high horse and realise not everyone is like you or your girlfriend, also realise that while you are not promiscuous others are. Having a fuck buddy / flat mate is normal for a lot of people.

If your gf is promiscuous, it's not going to matter if she lives with 4 guys or just with you. So I'm not quite sure what you are getting at.

[Grand Crusader Absalom]

I'd be pissed tbh, those saying you should trust her probably never had a gf before. Even if you do trust her, its just non-sense to accept that.

Wha??
I don't dance when I go out. My girlfriend does. She dances with her girlfriends and guys all the time. It don't mean shit.