Girlfriend is insane?

[Not Againnn]

So, I have been with the same girl for a bit over 5 years now. We have had ups and downs but like the past three years have been a serious roller-coaster, and I feel like a boiled frog.

She is a redhead, aries (both of these things mean nothing its just so can get an idea), extremely short tempered little goddess. However, when she gets mad she goes off the chain, insults me, tells me I'm all this terrible shit, tells me of other men she can go find and all this awful shit. Throws shit, breaks shit, cries hysterically, pulls her hair... Basically a full blown temper tantrum. Never apologizes for what she has done. Just pretends it never happened.

Well last Saturday, she left for like 9 hours without saying a word at around 11. I stayed home from work, so naturally I texted her to ask what she was up to. Nothing. 5 hours later she posts a pic on instagram and I'm like oh cool at least she is okay. I dont hear from her for another 6 hours

I asked her what was up

EXPLOSION.
is this normal fucking behavior? She is saying I am "obsessed" and i always "need to know" and i was "so mad at her" when in reality i was just curious. Better yet, when i try to tell her that i was just curious, she goes off on some weird rant about how obsessed and crazy i am and she doesn't need to tell me anything (which is true, but as her boyfriend... eh? wat?)

AM IN THE WRONG?
This whole situation leaves me pretty crushed.

[Deleted]

That can't be a healthy relationship.

[jakeic]

run. don't stop, don't look back, just run.

[Deleted]

she slept with your parents yet?

[alemaite]

She's cheating on you, move on.

[Not Againnn]

That can't be a healthy relationship.

I am really feeling like it isn't at all. It was nothing like this at first.

[Ghostile]

Never stick your dick in crazy.

Abort while possible.

[Woceip]

Nothing you've listed in your post points to a healthy relationship. Not gonna say it's easy, but you'll be happier if you move on. The fact that you're questioning it should tell you most of what you need to know.

[NatePsy]

She's got problems and needs to sort those out. Honestly, I would consider taking time apart or reassessing the relationship. Because the way she's acting and seems to pretend it never happened as if it's normal and acceptable, that's not healthy. She needs serious counselling.

Edit: If the story you're telling is true and she got defensive when you asked if she was okay and all that during the 11hrs of her not talking to you, then it's possible she's up to something questionable. Getting that defensive when simply being asked if you're okay is fairly questionable.

[Not Againnn]

Ditch the chick. She may not be insane, but she's got some emotional issues that will only get worse until she grows up... And that may never happen.

She is older than me. 24, no real job but being a singer and selling shit on ETSY

[Deleted]

She is older than me. 24, no real job but being a singer and selling shit on ETSY

Being older than someone doesn't mean you're more emotionally mature.

[Deleted]

Sounds like every fucking woman ever. Its probably her period.

[Not Againnn]

Nothing you've listed in your post points to a healthy relationship. Not gonna say it's easy, but you'll be happier if you move on. The fact that you're questioning it should tell you most of what you need to know.

this really sucks. I was fixing to propose this summer, but if she continues this behavior and I am getting torn to pieces on the weekly, sometimes daily, I don't think I can anymore.

[Deleted]

She is older than me. 24, no real job but being a singer and selling shit on ETSY

Theres your problem, she is still stuck in the self entitled teenage mindset, she may never grow out of it either.

[Not Againnn]

Sounds like every fucking woman ever. Its probably her period.

she pms's mid month and this happened a few days ago so I don't think so.

[The Kao]

From experience, as long as there's no illness involved, if there are sudden changes and things that you simply can't seem to understand about her after that much time, she's probably been keeping a lot to herself that would better be said. There's a good chance she's already moved pretty far away without you taking notice, and if she's aware of it she might be asking herself how dense you can be not to get it after what you've described here.

Either set her down for some serious talk to resolve all this at once or run. No man would blame you for either.

[psyquest]

emotional blackmail
no respect for you.

This is the worse kind of situation you can be in. She thinks she has the upper hand and that means she does not treat you like an equal. She does not respect you at all and leave doing god knows what and does not tell you shit.

Break it up now and walk away.
If she is the one, she will come back and say sorry. You will then lay down the ground rules:

1: mutual respect is mandatory.
2: respecting each other means not saying hurtful things to one another.
3: respecting the other means not putting the other in a situation where he or she might be worried about you (like leaving for hours not saying where to)
4: loving each other means not putting one another in a situation where one could feel insecure or jealous.

I have been married close to 20 years now. Trust me when I say that you are not in a healthy relationship. Wake up man and be a man.

[Not Againnn]

Theres your problem, she is still stuck in the self entitled teenage mindset, she may never grow out of it either.

If this helps:

She lived with her dad until she was 22.
He passed away, she inherited like 30 grand and she has been living off of it since.

Never had a real job except ONCE at a retail candy store which she recently quit.

[Deleted]

Sounds like every fucking woman ever. Its probably her period.

The women I know have never acted like asses on their periods. I think some are just using their periods as an excuse to act like an ass.

[Not Againnn]

emotional blackmail
no respect for you.

This is the worse kind of situation you can be in. She thinks she has the upper hand and that means she does not treat you like an equal. She does not respect you at all and leave doing god knows what and does not tell you shit.

Break it up now and walk away.
If she is the one, she will come back and say sorry. You will then lay down the ground rules:

1: mutual respect is mandatory.
2: respecting each other means not saying hurtful things to one another.
3: respecting the other means not putting the other in a situation where he or she might be worried about you (like leaving for hours not saying where to)
4: loving each other means not putting one another in a situation where one could feel insecure or jealous.

I have been married close to 20 years now. Trust me when I say that you are not in a healthy relationship. Wake up man and be a man.

yeah I get none of these things form her whatsoever.

Maybe ONCE or twice for a week she will be perfect but the rest... IF I do anything to piss her off there goes the day.