Is it wrong to teach self-love to people who struggle with their weight?

[Graeham]

You can teach people to love themselves and still advice them to get to a healthier physical state. It's win/win imo.

What some people are trying to do for people with obesity is to create excuses. That's not really helping them at all.

Agreed. Shaming people for their weight doesn't accomplish anything - it's far, far better to encourage them to make peace with themselves whilst striving to be healthier and happier. It's a matter of balance - and to be fair it's not always the fault of the individual when it comes to their weight. In some cases it's tied to a poor background, a terrible education and/or mental/physical health issues.

Of course that doesn't mean they can't take steps to help themselves but people don't generally do that if they're ridiculed and made to feel terrible about themselves. 'Enabling' is very much a applicable concept too. If someone is so obese as to be unable to move around easily, for example, then those providing them with unhealthy food should be held accountable in my opinion. This, too, would do wonders if people were discouraged from pushing an agenda that makes being obese something to embrace and aspire to.

[Deleted]

Loving yourself includes your physicality, that is, your body as I pointed out. So it makes for a disingenuous love yourself message if you only mean to love only the good parts of yourself like your unblemished skin for example but not your skin colour for example. You get the point?

Preaching self love as Knadra pointed out is flatout wrong for overweight people because in order to lose weight you need to hate or at the very least dislike your weight, fat distribution or waist size etc. How can one begin the positive journey of shedding the pounds to a healthy weight if they are being told that being fat is A-okay#??

You need to love yourself in order to lose weight and get healthier, but you don't have to love being fat. I dislike having excess body fat, but I don't dislike me as a person. Those are different things.

[Geschan]

The problem is that the middleground somewhat got lost.
There is a difference between being obese and not having the "magic" six pack.
Like with many other things weight is only represented in extremes in the media.
You either are the super fitness guru or you are morbidly obese.

The only thing that should matter is the medical opinion of your physician.
But remembering that when we are constantly bombarded with the extrems in the media is hard.

In my opinion "selflove" it taught wrong.
It is not ok to be obese when your physician is telling you to loose weight.
BUT your worth as a person is not defined by your body weight.
Thats how fat shaming in the end works.
The worth of a person gets attacked solely because of their weight.

[tankbug]

Loving yourself includes your physicality, that is, your body as I pointed out. So it makes for a disingenuous love yourself message if you only mean to love only the good parts of yourself like your unblemished skin for example but not your skin colour for example. You get the point?

Preaching self love as Knadra pointed out is flatout wrong for overweight people because in order to lose weight you need to hate or at the very least dislike your weight, fat distribution or waist size etc. How can one begin the positive journey of shedding the pounds to a healthy weight if they are being told that being fat is A-okay#??

Being fat doesn't mean you're delusional and stupid. It's easy to become fat, and it's hard to get thin and in shape. For that you need discipline, knowledge and a long term determination. And lots of people don't have much pleasure in life other than a good meal, which ironically, probably makes things worse for them. Fat people don't exist because they think it's totally cool. How many fat people do you think are happy with their bodies and their lives?
This is a little like criminals. Harder punishment doesn't work. Helping them at a young age, or back into society through social programs does.

[Deleted]

It's wrong to normalize obesity. Despite what some morons say, it isn't healthy. It drastically increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, various forms of cancer, arthritis, sleep apnea, etc etc etc. Anyone who says you can be healthy while obese is doing some rather drastic mental gymnastics.

It might be wrong but its non of your business if someone is fat or not.
Go look after your own and leave people be fat if they want, if they kill them self's its their choice, not yours.

And all the constant bullshit surrounding this issue keeps doing is the fatty's eat more, because most people eat when they are depressed, sad or are not in an emotional ok place.

[Deleted]

I agree that we should first of all see a difference between obesity and having some spare fat.

No one get's "fat shamed" for having bigger hips or an extra love handle. This is, especially for women, sometimes very natural and isnt always due to unhealthy eating patterns.

Being obese on the other hand can be fatal. It's unhealthy, it looks horrible and people will always and forever point at you behind your back.
If you belong to this category, work your way towards a healthier life and stop looking for excuses to still love yourself.

[Deleted]

Anyone who thinks self-hatred is a good driver for anyone in any situation, be it being overweight, or when it comes to alcohol or drugs, or for example finding a job or getting an education, should never, ever give advice to anyone.

[Dezerte]

Self-love and self-awareness are not mutually exclusive.

[Darkfie1d]

So society nowadays is obsessed with this idea of telling people to be "themselves" - whatever that means - at all costs but is that moral? Is that logical? And is that not just reinforcing negative habits and suggesting that character flaws are not something one could change?

Just have a look what the body-positive movement is promoting... obesity and health problems.... An early grave

I'm fat, I was 120Kg and I'm 90Kg right now, still am fat and need to lose about 16Kg to hit the health quota. Yes, words wont hurt you, bad health does. If you feel ashamed of the extra kilograms you carry around with you the solution is simple, get your eating habits in order and do some exercise. I'm not asking you to live in a gym or something, just have some sort of routine planned that you can do in the comfort of your home and run or jug a little. If you get upset because people might bring the subject up it's not because they are mean or nasty, it's because deep down you are not comfortable with how you are, you don't like yourself before everyone else does. I've been there, self-esteem and 'self-love' wont do you good, wont get rid of your extra kilograms. The best love you can give yourself is to start giving shit about your health.

[Rudkobing]

No, its not wrong. Also, it might help the fat fucks from being fat fucks.

[zolok2.0]

No, I don't think it's wrong to tell someone to love themselves no matter what they look like. What I DO think is wrong, is telling them and everyone else in society that they HAVE to love fatties because they're 'beautiful', no that's not how it works. I like a thick woman, don't get me wrong, but not everyone finds overweight people attractive so telling them that they're beautiful and that people find them attractive is just setting them up for failure

[unbound]

So society nowadays is obsessed with this idea of telling people to be "themselves" - whatever that means - at all costs but is that moral? Is that logical? And is that not just reinforcing negative habits and suggesting that character flaws are not something one could change?

Just have a look what the body-positive movement is promoting... obesity and health problems.... An early grave

Is it moral to continue to push for ideals that are not achievable and are possibly not actually desirable?

A higher BMI doesn't necessarily mean you're less healthy. In fact, patients with heart disease and metabolic disorders whose BMIs classify them as overweight or mildly obese survive longer than their normal and underweight peers. A 2013 meta-analysis by the National Center for Health Statistics looked at 97 studies covering nearly 3 million people and concluded that those with overweight BMIs were 6 percent less likely to die in a given year than those in the normal range. These results were even more pronounced for middle-aged and elderly people. This is known as the obesity paradox. "The World Health Organization calls BMIs of 25 to 29.9 overweight," says Paul McAuley, an exercise researcher at Winston-Salem State University. "That is actually what is healthiest for middle-aged Americans."
- http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article....icleid=1555137

[Deleted]

No, I don't think it's wrong to tell someone to love themselves no matter what they look like. What I DO think is wrong, is telling them and everyone else in society that they HAVE to love fatties because they're 'beautiful', no that's not how it works. I like a thick woman, don't get me wrong, but not everyone finds overweight people attractive so telling them that they're beautiful and that people find them attractive is just setting them up for failure

You don't have to tell people to love them, accepting goes a long way.
What is it to you or anyone else if Joe around the corner is a fatty?
It doesn't hurt you in one way at all, so why do we need to tell him hes fat and disgusting and needs to go to the gym?

I have been fat, at the moment I'm still in the chubby region but in a few months ill be on my perfect weight.
I been fat since I was 16 and ate nothing but junk food.
Since last year I been working hard to get rid of it but all the fat "shaming, whatever you want to call it" in the world isn't helping these people.
Its making them eat more because they are unhappy already and others are making them feel worse so they reach for a bag of crisps as fast as you can say "fatty".

Another example, I went to the gym in my first week and of course I got stared at and even got a comment from some idiot "what the fuck is that fat fuck doing here, doesn't he need to go home and munch on a bag of crisps or something"?
I never went back there and bought a home trainer instead.

What I am trying to say to you and most of the posters above you is that this constant hate is having the opposite effect as you all hope it would have.
You might have good intentions your taking the wrong approach.

That being said, the media isn't doing fatty's any good either.
The weight is bad for you and telling them its all good and its others people's fault isn't the best thing either, but at least they are not bullied, laughed at and treated disgustingly just because they are fat.

[Deleted]

The best thing I saw recently was that video of the grosely overweight feminist on a underground train in London wearing nothing but a bra and underwear with a big A3 sheet of paper that says "Am I too fat to rape?"

I mean, these scenarios are the foundations of jokes that will last hundreds of years.



On topic, teach both the love of yourself and the necessity to be healthy. Teach the self-love of a healthy body, or at least within the limitations of not being out of breath after 1 flight of stairs.

[May90]

I think people should support each other, no matter what life choices they make. Yes, it is better to be fit than obese. Does it mean that obese shouldn't love themselves and feel the love from others? No. They should be encouraged to take steps to improve their physical shape, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve love right now.

I don't care if someone is fat, alcoholic, WoW addict, lazy, a jerk, whatever. I am friendly towards everyone, even if it is not mutual. It is people's business to decide how to live my life. I can decide how I'm going to treat them, and I choose to treat them well.

[Ragnarocket]

I'm not sure why you can't love yourself and also want to improve yourself at the same time. Why are the two suddenly mutually exclusive?

I personally had some issues with my weight, although in my case it was being extremely underweight. Fun fact, being underweight carries just as many risks as being overweight. I like to think it's because I cared about myself that I started to actually try to manage my weight...if you don't care why would you even bother? Teaching people that they should care and respect their bodies is what we should do while also helping them reach health goals. You don't have to be rude about it, just let the person know they are loved and respected and that's why you want to see them become the best they can be.

[Arganis]

Yes it is wrong.

Self-esteem is destructive when it is unwarranted.

I'm not sure further lowering the self esteem of people who are fat is the cure to obesity when, as others in this thread have correctly pointed out, usually the problem is caused by low self esteem to begin with. People shouldn't love their problems because that's just another form of sickness but I don't think teaching people to hate themselves the way society hates them helps anyone.

In general I don't believe you can move anyone in the right direction through negativity and self-hatred. Few who strive to succeed do so for any other reason than to validate their sense of self worth, either through their own approval or that of those around them.

[Deleted]

Its not wrong to teach people to accept and love themselves regardless of how their body looks.
It is very wrong to actively advocate for obesity and ignore all health risks though, which is usually coupled with bitter hatred towards skinny people.

[Juvencus]

I think it's more like "Learn to love yourself, so that you will care enough to make it better"

and not "accept your fat forever and be happy about it".

[Deleted]

If they loved themselves maybe they wouldn't have let themselves go like that.