Stephen Fry criticised for telling self-pitying abuse victims to 'grow up'

[meian]

I don't care about no political correct BS. A man is a man, whether he cosplays as a girl or not.

I don't care about no political correct BS. A draenei is a draenei, whether it cosplays as a Miqo'te or not.

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How DARE you make fun of my mental ilness, and demean it. You don't know what it's like to live in constant fear of being disagreed with and having a panic attack. I can't see a doctor because of that exact fear! He might say it's not PTSD which would make me miss work for another week.


... see how easy it...

I give this troll... 3/10. I had to dock you a few points because I can't find any evidence to confirm that you are actually trolling and you might just be that deluded/misinformed as to how mental illness works.

[Powerogue]

Sounds like The Guardian's writers need to grow up. "No-one would listen to Stephen Fry if he was poor" is just petty.

"Triggers" are overrated. I've got several things that bring back bad memories, like rollercoasters. You know what I do? I don't go on rollercoasters anymore. Problem solved.

[Deleted]

I like how the left are trying to portray people who support free speech as being "Ultra Free Speech", trying to make us look like the extremists.

[Damajin]

I like how the left are trying to portray people who support free speech as being "Ultra Free Speech", trying to make us look like the extremists.

That's how it always is, framing your opponent as extreme and your views as rational and sane. The thought police no matter what side they're working for love to do that shit.

[Gorsameth]

Sounds like The Guardian's writers need to grow up. "No-one would listen to Stephen Fry if he was poor" is just petty.

"Triggers" are overrated. I've got several things that bring back bad memories, like rollercoasters. You know what I do? I don't go on rollercoasters anymore. Problem solved.

Its also hilariously wrong.
People don't listen to Stephen Fry because he is rich. They listen to him because he is a highly intelligent man who happen to become rich by applying his mind to comedy.

[flyspyro]

Agree with Fry 100%

As someone who has triggers and lots of trauma/PTSD from my childhood, I simply avoid things that upset me. for example, I can't watch scary movies because it's too much so I don't. I'm not asking the people that make them to stop making them.
I fully support Free speech.

You can't just tell people to grow up. Are you really gonna say that to a war vet when hes/she been triggered by something?
have you any idea what its like in a mind of someone who has PTSD? NO.

self-pitying abuse victims to 'grow up'?
there are lvls of abuse some people handle it better then others. you cant simple tell someone to grow up.

ive been told that I do a lot of self-pity. guess what, you telling me that i need to get over something isn't helpful. All it tells me is that you don't give a shit. I bet that's truth.

[medievalman1]

As someone who has triggers and lots of trauma/PTSD from my childhood, I simply avoid things that upset me. for example, I can't watch scary movies because it's too much so I don't. I'm not asking the people that make them to stop making them.
I fully support Free speech.

You can't just tell people to grow up. Are you really gonna say that to a war vet when hes/she been triggered by something?
have you any idea what its like in a mind of someone who has PTSD? NO.

self-pitying abuse victims to 'grow up'?
there are lvls of abuse some people handle it better then others. you cant simple tell someone to grow up.

ive been told that I do a lot of self-pity. guess what, you telling me that i need to get over something isn't helpful. All it tells me is that you don't give a shit. I bet that's truth.

The bolded section there, that is something that the people Fry is referring to aren't doing. They want to make the world change to their whims. That is why they need to grow up. Methinks you missed what he was saying. Fry's the president of the mental health charity, do you really think he doesn't "give a shit"?

[Celista]

Stephen Fry is gross. His husband looks like he could be his grandson. I am unsurprised that he is both a victim of sexual violence and that he decided that he needed to prostitute himself to pay the bills. Btw no one actually needs to do that to survive in affluent Western countries; hopefully somewhere he admits that was a choice. A choice usually rooted in previous sexual trauma on some level, but Stephen Fry apparently lacks the self-awareness to acknowledge that.

Sure there are people who have suffered abuse who wallow in their own pity. There are also those of us who picked ourselves up by our bootstraps and trudged onward with life. People who are still processing their trauma don't tend to wallow forever; they come to terms with their abuse and move on.

Sounds to me like he needs to do some growing up himself.

[Deleted]

I am unsurprised that he is both a victim of sexual violence and that he decided that he needed to prostitute himself to pay the bills. Btw no one actually needs to do that to survive in affluent Western countries; hopefully somewhere he admits that was a choice. A choice usually rooted in previous sexual trauma on some level, but Stephen Fry apparently lacks the self-awareness to acknowledge that..

You're aware that the female writer, Paris Lees, was the prostitute referenced in her article, and not Stephen Fry; right? Just hilarious that you'd choose that as the basis for scorn when it wasn't even about him lmao.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

Stephen Fry is gross. His husband looks like he could be his grandson. I am unsurprised that he is both a victim of sexual violence and that he decided that he needed to prostitute himself to pay the bills. Btw no one actually needs to do that to survive in affluent Western countries; hopefully somewhere he admits that was a choice. A choice usually rooted in previous sexual trauma on some level, but Stephen Fry apparently lacks the self-awareness to acknowledge that.

Sure there are people who have suffered abuse who wallow in their own pity. There are also those of us who picked ourselves up by our bootstraps and trudged onward with life. People who are still processing their trauma don't tend to wallow forever; they come to terms with their abuse and move on.

Sounds to me like he needs to do some growing up himself.

Google says they are 30 years apart, thats not really tha crazy imo.

[Celista]

You're aware that the female writer, Paris Lees, was the prostitute referenced in her article, and not Stephen Fry. Right? Just hilarious that you'd use that as the basis for scorn when it wasn't even about him lmao.

Doesn't matter, I still think he's overrated and gross. I have always felt that way.

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Google says they are 30 years apart, thats not really tha crazy imo.

Looks more like 40. 30 years is super crazy, what the hell? Were you banging 50 year olds when you were 20?

[Deleted]

Doesn't matter, I still think he's overrated and gross. I have always felt that way.

OK cool. Maybe make sure you actually read the article next time though so you're at least attacking him for something he did. Personally I'm not that interested in telling people how they should earn money or who (so long as it's a consenting adult) they're allowed to love or marry. Kinda misogynistic to tell a woman that there is absolutely no situation that they could be forced into prostitution, so she should admit it's her own fault, actually.

[Celista]

OK cool. Maybe make sure you actually read the article next time though. Personally I'm not that interested in telling people how they should earn money or who (so long as it's a consenting adult) they're allowed to love or marry.

It is my opinion that people who end up selling their bodies for money tend to have a history of sexual trauma. Stephen Fry complaining about people wallowing in their own self-pity in regards to sexual abuse while being married to a man 30 years younger than he is seems suspicious to me for numerous reasons.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

Doesn't matter, I still think he's overrated and gross. I have always felt that way.

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Looks more like 40. 30 years is super crazy, what the hell? Were you banging 50 year olds when you were 20?

Google says 57/27... and while no, as I'm about that age, I probably wouldn't date someone 30 years my senior... but then again, you probably aren't into the same type of person I am either.. age is just one factor in a relationship. And at 27, I doubt his husband is being tricked or something... love is strange, and I don't think having a strange love invalidates someones point of view.

People should be arguing for/against what he has to say, not who he loves, how rich he may be, or his skin color.

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OK cool. Maybe make sure you actually read the article next time though so you're at least attacking him for something he did. Personally I'm not that interested in telling people how they should earn money or who (so long as it's a consenting adult) they're allowed to love or marry. Kinda misogynistic to tell a woman that there is absolutely no situation that they could be forced into prostitution, so she should admit it's her own fault, actually.

Or misandrist, since Stephen Fry is a man (even though he was wrongly judged)? hehehe

[Deleted]

Stephen Fry complaining about people wallowing in their own self-pity in regards to sexual abuse while being married to a man 30 years younger than he is seems suspicious to me for numerous reasons.

Not following your logic. Probably because there is none. Do you have evidence that Fry or his husband have relationship issues brought on by abuse? Were they even abused? Being married to someone younger doesn't = abuse, either. He and his husband both seem happy with the arrangement, not seeing Fry wallowing in self-pity over his own relationship status. While I wouldn't marry somebody much younger than me, lots of people do in the celebrity world.

[Celista]

Google says 57/27... and while no, as I'm about that age, I probably wouldn't date someone 30 years my senior... but then again, you probably aren't into the same type of person I am either.. age is just one factor in a relationship. And at 27, I doubt his husband is being tricked or something... love is strange, and I don't think having a strange love invalidates someones point of view.

People should be arguing for/against what he has to say, not who he loves, how rich he may be, or his skin color.

Sure. The most relevant part of my post had really nothing to do with who he is married to at all.

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Not following your logic. Probably because there is none. Do you have evidence that Fry or his husband were abused? Being married to someone younger doesn't = abuse, either. He and his husband both seem happy with the arrangement, not seeing Fry wallowing in self-pity over his own relationship status.

No, not sure why you would imply that from my post.

OP wasn't clear with the way he snipped the article as to the latter half of his quoted post.

[Felya]

Sounds like The Guardian's writers need to grow up. "No-one would listen to Stephen Fry if he was poor" is just petty.

"Triggers" are overrated. I've got several things that bring back bad memories, like rollercoasters. You know what I do? I don't go on rollercoasters anymore. Problem solved.

Am the opposite. If something bothers me and worth it to fix it, I confront it until it is no longer something that bothers me. Fear of heights? I'll stand over a cliff until I'm comfortable with it. Had anxiety over driving, so did it until it became second nature. Had a fear of public speaking, now I lead meetings and just yesterday was a critical part of a meeting with some pretty influential folks at my job. There are few mental blocks or issue that I cannot face to no longer be an issue. I cannot fix the world, but I can fix my self.

The only thing it has not worked with, is actual work. Every time I see something related to my work, it triggers anxiety over it. It's a double edged sword there, where if I get rid of the trigger, I won't be as good at what I do. But, if I don't get rid of it, I will always have anxiety over it. That's a case of needing balance, something that's pretty hard to do. It's pretty easy to make the balance beam lean to an extreme position, but a perfect balance is very hard to achieve.

In most cases, if you can get over your self or your ego, personal improvement becomes much easier. It's why my posts avoid saying that I am better than anyone else. Same thing off line, when I'm told how good I am at work, the first thing out of my mouth is that I'm nothing without my team. It does nothing, but hurt your ability to be better...

[Deleted]

No, not sure why you would imply that from my post.

What do you want me to imply (sure you meant infer, but i'll let it slide)? You're trying to establish some link between him dating someone 30 years younger and wallowing in self-pity maybe stemming from abuse. You literally don't have a point, because that isn't the case. Continue to flail spastically to try and find something about his personal life to attack instead of his argument if you want, but I'm not gonna read it or reply to you again. You were wrong, you need to learn to read, the end.

[Underverse]

Severe trauma is used as a literary tool to, usually, incite some sort of antipathic emotion in the beholder. If it triggers someone, it's doing its job. Arguably, it can sometimes do its job too well to the point where a beholder might be reduced to tears. But I do agree that this hypersensitivity, present in so few individuals, is not something that all of society should cater to - simply because there are other ways around it. Namely, and as mentioned in the OP, that hypersensitive individuals can desensitize themselves to the triggering event.

[Vyxn]

Free Speech is the right to be able to offend
Anti Free Speech is wanting the right not to be offended