"The Lost Boys" – young men opt for virtual life of pornography and gaming

[Deleted]

I remember this stuff from the 1990s, back then it was the religious right talking about the dangers of video games and pornography

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"The Lost Boys" – young men opt for virtual life of pornography and gaming

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/the-lost-b...15-go7mi9.html

A generation of young men is being lost to arousal addiction, preferring the instant gratification offered by online pornography and gaming to the challenges of real-life interactions.

In their new book Man, Interrupted, US psychologist Philip Zimbardo and his colleague Nikita Coulombe argue that these young men are growing up isolated, socially stunted, unmotivated, struggling academically and with unrealistic sexual expectations of themselves and potential partners.

Stanford University Professor Emeritus Zimbardo said his study of 20,000 young men found many were retreating to the digital worlds of pornography and gaming where there are instant rewards, clear goals, fewer risks and consequences, more excitement and no fear of rejection.

"Porn guarantees sexual gratification without rejection, and without the time and money needed to go out on a date," he told Fairfax Media. "Video games offer a degree of instant gratification, but also offer structured goals and feedback on performance, which is currently lacking in most real-world spheres for men."
His co-author Ms Coulombe said young men were being conditioned to always expect a reward. "Real life doesn't work like that. Real-life rewards require planning and there is no guarantee of success in any pursuit."

One young man interviewed for the book said: "I think the on-demand pleasure, gratification, control and stress release of pornography and video games reduces our patience, makes us hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations and cripples us socially."

As the young male brain adapts to the intense stimulation of pornography and gaming which is available free and all the time on the internet, too much use of either makes them forget their responsibilities or lose interest in daily real life. They struggle to form relationships as they haven't developed real-world interpersonal skills.

Professor Zimbardo describes excessive use of gaming and pornography as "arousal addiction", which he said is different to other addictions.

"With alcohol, drugs or gambling you want more of the same, but with porn and video games you want the same – but different. You need novelty in order to achieve the same high," he said. "To get the same amount of stimulation you need new material, seeing the same images over and over again becomes uninteresting after a short time."

It is estimated that up to 10 per cent of gamers have a problem, while teenage boys watch an average of two hours of pornography a week – starting well before they have any real-life sexual experiences.

Australian sex educator Liz Walker said arousal addiction underlies the "edging" masturbation trend popular with young men. To keep themselves on the edge of an orgasm for hours at a time they will watch one pornography clip after another.

"The levels are that intense that trying to break away from [the habit] is near impossible," Ms Walker said.

Experts say that young men who are sensation seeking, suffer low self-esteem or anxiety, or have poor family connections are more vulnerable to arousal addiction.

The Man, Interrupted authors believe that if these trends continue, a group of men will opt out of society, others will increasingly turn to crime, and there will be a decline in marriage and family formation.

"More women of course will be asking 'where are all the good men?' as they become more educated and financially well-off than their male peers," Ms Coulombe said.

[Katie N]

Is this because so many women in the west seem insane in requirements? xD

[THE Bigzoman]

Experts say that young men who are sensation seeking, suffer low self-esteem or anxiety, or have poor family connections are more vulnerable to arousal addiction.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

It's not like young guys begin life looking down two paths and they decide to just play games.

They're shitted on when they take the right path. And more often than not, a lot of them have no dad or male role model to help guide them. Just ill-prepared institutons walking in Pampers.

[Deleted]

Not surprising seeing that western women aren't worth having anymore.

[The Stormbringer]

This sounds very much like what's going in Japan, though slightly more on instant gratification than their 'have a connection with an imaginary 2D character'.

[Waynhim]

I would be really interested in how this group will perform in experiments likehttp://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...-a6963321.html.

I can easily see boys between 16-25 opting for this programme, but I also forsee that it will have grave consequences for their mental health down the line.

[l33t]

That's true for someone, yeah. Although "many" is not a statistically true number. 100 out of 20000 is "many" as well.

Also: unless you're a son of a billionaire, real life sucks. So, I'm not surprised at all that some people tend to like being a hero who save the world from dragon threat, marrying a super-sexy elf queen in the process of saving world, instead of finding happiness in being a janitor in McDonalds, living with a landwhale.

[Xar226]

I believe it, and I believe there are real consequences psychologically speaking so I'm perfectly happy to see the issue being studied regardless of what the outcome turns out to be. I'm not sure it is specific to males though, so I'm curious why the study seemed to be limited to them.

As an FYI, Philip Zimbardo is no slouch in the psychology field. He was the man who ran the Stanford Prison Experiment which, while ethically questionable especially in today's times, was an incredibly influential experiment showing how quickly otherwise normal people can have their entire personalities changed by the circumstances of power and powerlessness.

[Charge me Doctor]

you don't have to watch porn to fap you dummies. This argument is moot. And if teens prefer to not deal with girls anymore - i suppose there is a problem on both ends.

[Deleted]

Not surprising at all.

Modern feminists openly demonize masculinity as "toxic", so it's no wonder some men are choosing to opt out.

Have fun collecting cats.

[Derpleton]

I think the issue has a bit more than just how people fap to it. I think part of the problem is that less than half of the population grows up in a traditional family where there is a stable relationship and a role model of both genders. Since kids are exposed at a young age to a failing relationship and the problems it causes I can see why many would turn away from it later in life, especially men who have to fear losing a lot of their stuff in divorce court. And thus, the no risk, instant gratification of porn because much more inviting.

And of course this, very much this:

Not surprising at all.

Modern feminists openly demonize masculinity as "toxic", so it's no wonder some men are choosing to opt out.

Have fun collecting cats.

[derpkitteh]

if that's how they wanna live, i say let them be.

i'm pretty addicted to the internet myself, not really porn though. but yeah, i say let them go. this world's a fetid shithole anyway, escape it anyway you can.

[Vash The Stampede]

Where can I sign up for virtual life of pornography and gaming? Just asking.

[PACOX]

True but women also don't want these guys so what is lost?....

[Justpassing]

Don't see anything wrong with this. I'd rather watch porn than put up with a woman, past experiences taught me that.

[Hitei]

Where can I sign up for virtual life of pornography and gaming? Just asking.

www.google.com
www.steampowered.com

[I Push Buttons]

I spend most of my free time gaming and avoiding people... But its not because I am addicted to gaming, its because I am a disfigured cripple who most people ignore completely or, occasionally, make fun of me. After years of ostracism and ridicule, I just generally hate other people and have no interest in being sociable.

Hell until I was a teenager I hated video games... My parents bought my a PS1 and an N64... I gave them both away because I never touched them... Spent all of my time outside with friends or over at their houses, despite being a wheelchair... I grew up with those kids so they didn't care about the chair.

Then my family moved and I instantly became a social outcast at my new school... So my options were sit in my room alone and stare at the wall or... Play video games... I chose the latter. And the being excluded or made fun of by literally everyone around me only got worse with age so gaming was literally my only avenue of having any enjoyment at all.

[SoulForge]

Women are evil, complicated, expensive.

I don't see this as a problem. Too many people on the planet anyway.

[Deleted]

I guess it is a little like people that start using drugs often in an attempt to forget or get away from their problems, but ultimately ends up being self destructive.

[Stelio Kontos]

I guess it is a little like people that start using drugs often in an attempt to forget or get away from their problems, but ultimately ends up being self destructive.

That's sort of the parallel I saw as well. Sad, but it's hard to stop people bent on self-destructing.

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Women are evil, complicated, expensive..

Meet better women.