"The Lost Boys" – young men opt for virtual life of pornography and gaming

[Vash The Stampede]

I'm ready for my virtual life. Let me get ready to fit in with the rest of the internet.

[breadisfunny]

i dont see anything wrong with a life of succubi.

[May90]

.

...but why is that a point?

Like I said, I never quite saw why people place such a huge value on the fact that someone learned another language. It's almost always the first thing you hear when someone's supposed intellect is being brought up, or when someone is trying to prove that another person is just so awesome. The "why" of that always eluded me. It's just another set of knowledge, and - in most cases for most people - not even a particularly practical set.

Honestly, I don't know. I think in the modern world, as long as you can speak English properly, you can live almost anywhere and have meaningful socialization with people. However, not everyone speaks English. I used to frequent Japan on scientific trips, and I felt really bad not being able to communicate with most of them properly. If I could speak Japanese, I'm sure I would know much more about their culture, and my time in Japan would be much more exciting.

But yes, I think, at least, nowadays, when all noticeable books, movies, games, etc. are translated into English and most educated people can somewhat understand/speak English, knowing extra languages is no longer that useful. In the past, it was different.

[Malacrass]

I'm ready for my virtual life. Let me get ready to fit in with the rest of the internet.

What's that show?

[Mazaxist]

I like porn because I dont need to go and find a girl, waste my time and money and in return get drama and shit. Most girls are mental anyway, next thing you know shes pregnant and you are fucked for life.

[Sorrior]

I'll admit, I used to be like this, except the porn thing, was never really interested in it.
Let me tell you my story about how I was an extremely anxious, depressed recluse that was so addicted to games I couldn't even comprehend real life, to having my own apartment, full time job and meeting the girl (my now fiancee) who changed everything for me.

My dad left when I was 10, I still saw him sometimes, but we stopped being a family when I was 10, he didn't help or guide me as I grew up, my mum had to do everything for us 3 kids so she wasn't the best parent.
I didn't have many friends in high school, and I discovered WoW when I was 17 and studying electrical engineering in college, I managed to get my qualification while being heavily addicted to WoW.

It got to a point where I dreamed of WoW, slept 12 hours a day and played 12 hours a day, I forgot about real life, when I went out all I would think about was WoW, I was so disconnected from reality, if I saw a couple of people standing next to each other in real life I would get an urge to press button 6 (cleave) just because WoW had conditioned my mind so heavily, I couldn't stop thinking about it, the lore, thinking about my next raid, my next upgrade, what character I'm going to level next etc.
Because I was so absorbed by this fictional universe, I was a walking encyclopedia about WoW lore and in game, I knew where everything dropped, stats, item level, mechanics etc, I was a massive contributor to wowhead.com at that time.

Then came panic attacks, depression and agoraphobia when I was 19, so I was on and off various medications until I found one that suited me, and it helped me somewhat, but not enough to function properly in daily life; I also received counseling and CBT with little success.

When I was 22, I had to find somewhere to live my mum couldn't afford the rent anymore, jobless and lacking confidence, I managed to find supported housing where I lived for 3 years; a place for troubled 18-25 year olds.

Last year when I was 25 I quit WoW (I was on and off for the past 4 years, not absorbed like I used to be) and massively cut down my internet use, I made some friends and started going out with them, I started going to the gym and this went on for months, but still I was unemployed and suffering from panic attacks.

Then I met a girl online and we started talking and really clicked, she lived 7000 miles away though but I wanted to meet her so badly, I just knew I had to..so I sold my computer, bike, and other valuable stuff just so I could fly out there and meet her, I stayed with her for 2 months and it was the best time of my life and I felt so happy and normal that I quit my medication and haven't been back on it since.

After I had to come back, I knew to be with her I have to change everything, and 2 months after I came back I got a job and my own apartment, and now she lives with me.

My whole life hasn't been as a stereotypical obese acne ridden recluse FYI, I've had various jobs since I was 13, friends and girlfriends even during my worst times, and I've never been even slightly overweight.

TL;DR-
-Grew up without father figure or guidance
-Had few friends
-Was heavily addicted to WoW that I couldn't think of anything else, for years
-Suffered crippling anxiety, depression and agoraphobia, took medicine and got counseling/CBT with little success, again for years
-Met girl online 7000 miles away, needed to change life to be together, quit meds, got job, got apartment, now living together happily

So you can turn your life around, and I know just how fucking hard it can be.

People truly underestimate how much something like a single person caring can change your life.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm ready for my virtual life. Let me get ready to fit in with the rest of the internet.

Lpl what series man?

[Cthulhu 2020]

Real life relationships have always taken work, this isn't something new, nor has feminism made it take more work than it did before. If you're strong and tall, expect to get lots of pussy. If you're short and soft and doughy, expect only the most desperate of women to seek you out for sex. If you're somewhere in between, expect a bit of work to get your vag.

As the article points out, porn and other outlets give you instant gratification, no work involved. We've had porn for a long time, but its access was fairly limited. The internet is largely what has caused this surge in "lost boys".

It's like when people say that LFR is what killed that sense of community and world PvP, when in reality it was being able to queue for dungeons.

[Vash The Stampede]

Lpl what series man?

I think this is it. Plastic Neesan (Plastic Elder Sister)

[Deleted]

I am recalling a time in a class were we were reading Medieval texts, one being about how to keep a man. Much of the classes women, and a good chunk of the men were horrified that there existed (in the 1200's) A manual of how to keep a man happy and devoted. In general the Zietgeist of the age now is that women merely need only be present and that is enough.

Not saying that relationships are entirely transactional by nature, but if we live in an age were the mere suggestion (From someone long dead and far removed from our age) can unleash such an unbridled fury as I saw in that classroom, then we have truly developed a whole no social construction of what a woman is.

There is very much something to this

Just to note: very impressive thread with a lot of testimony/confessions from men about their feelings, and though I don't share their views I am impressed with the sharing

I'll be honest: when I posted the OP, I figured the thread would be more about the shaming language of the article, technology replacing relationships, maybe a few funny bits about porn and gaming, etc

Where the thread ended up however is a surprisingly honest look at men's lives and experiences and how feminism has been incredibly toxic for social harmony

[Blayze]

I once lurked on the Red Pill subreddit for months, because I'd heard it was an horrible place full of misogny. I also read the sidebar blogs during that time.

What I saw was that the misogny and anger came from those fresh to the subreddit, disillusioned men unhappy that they'd followed the advice of older generations and women still ignored them.

I understood, because I'd bought into the Disney bullshit too for a time, before I became a cynical bastard from years of being bullied at school with neither teachers nor police doing anything to stop me being assaulted.

As the times I'd tried fighting back earned me swift punishment from the teachers, I was pretty much only there in body until I was old enough to make it to college, where I saw the person I'd become in someone else--a quiet sort, driven to weirdness through bullying and social isolation.

I learned from watching his mistakes, made friends, and shook off at least some of the damage that had been caused to me.

He didn't.

I'll never be a social butterfly, I never would have been, but what do you think happens when a man follows the script he's been given for years and then realises other people have wasted his life for him?

He snaps. He snaps, because he sees the men women have told him he shouldn't be getting rewarded with sex, and he finally understands that sexual attraction isn't something you can negotiate.

It's primal. It's why physical strength, dominance and social power in men are attractive to women--physical strength being the one that they can see all the time.

And those lost men who stumble across TRP are angry at being lied to for years, and desperate for a solution.

And the answer is "improve yourself."

Some do things the right way. Many don't, then lash out when women still won't give them the time of day.

Others decide "fuck it, I've wasted my life" and play games because they don't think it's worth the effort.

And others still go full-on MGTOW or women-hating.

[Deleted]

and what do you say to the 1/2 of men who by definition have to be below average

Or to the 80-90% of men that women apparently think are below average, really.

No money to chase bitches due to no employment. No future anywhere. Political elite setting up race wars for shits and giggles. Women being legit stupid in driving totalitarian self-hating shit like feminism (and if you think I just insulted you you deserve it. If you're not actively resisting it you're enabling it). At least fascism worked, feminism is prolonged suicide while trying to make everyone else so miserable they'd want to kill themselves too. And then there's the fact that there's going to be no more Western civilization if no one starts making all of this worth it for men who are getting shat on left and right, demonized by the ones they'd kind of want to be with but there's no kind of reasonable path whatsoever to anywhere. Plus modern women aren't exactly rock solid either, mentally or physically. There's almost no average to begin with any more. It's either fitness FITNESS which is even better when it's just an excuse to put "sporty guys " on your Tinder profiles or it's being so far above healthy weight that no self-respecting man even could be a good sport and put up an erection. They're inauthentic and frigid emotionally. They're no longer girly or feminine. Anywhere you go they demand to be with you and your attention. Solipsistic shitholes.

The funny thing is that you can't even talk to young women any more without the ever-expectant bitch judging your worth for fucking her soon-carcass even if you just wanted to ask the figurative time of day.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT YOUNG MEN TO GAIN ANY KIND OF POSITIVE EXPERIENCES ABOUT WOMEN LIKE THIS? WHY WOULD WE EVEN WANT TO BE WITH THEM NOW?

[Deleted]

HOW DO YOU EXPECT YOUNG MEN TO GAIN ANY KIND OF POSITIVE EXPERIENCES ABOUT WOMEN LIKE THIS? WHY WOULD WE EVEN WANT TO BE WITH THEM NOW?

Then dont be with them? I really dont get why people think, that they need a person of the opposite gender so badly. Lot of women are alwyas like : there are no real men anymore and a lot of guys think bad of women ...
Stop looking and crying. People can live without a partner.

[Deleted]

Those with realistic expectations get taken fast Be faster.

Again with you telling us to have no standards. You know, this doesn't exactly help when all you want is a SANE PERSON to possibly be interested in.

[tankbug]

I like porn because I dont need to go and find a girl, waste my time and money and in return get drama and shit. Most girls are mental anyway, next thing you know shes pregnant and you are fucked for life.

Porn is no substitute for a girlfriend though, it's not even a substitute for sex.

[grexly75]

When you consider what problems the men of today face it is probably a lot safer to go virtual.. The chances of having ones life ruined are I would think a lot less in a virtual environment..

- - - Updated - - -

Porn is no substitute for a girlfriend though, it's not even a substitute for sex.

True but when people are getting accused of something that at the time was consensual by both parties.. To only go and accuse one party of wrong doing because of want for a better word would be remorse after the fact can lead to things like this happening..

[Wyrt]

It seems a lot of people are upset because they think if they do the right steps they'll get a girl. Things don't work like that.

[tankbug]

There is very much something to this

Well...not really. A class of young students having an unrefined view of history and politics doesn't really represent our society as a whole.

Where the thread ended up however is a surprisingly honest look at men's lives and experiences and how feminism has been incredibly toxic for social harmony

Social harmony: Women being thankful that there are men out there to take care of them, since they are seen as lesser humans by society. Lining up for a husband. Men's fear of women empowerment is both pathetic and frighting. Are we supposed to be ok with oppressing half the world because we're afraid of working harder to find a mate?

[Wyrt]

When you consider what problems the men of today face it is probably a lot safer to go virtual.. The chances of having ones life ruined are I would think a lot less in a virtual environment..

This is ridiculous. Less than half of marriages end in divorce and I'm sure not all of those end with the man's life being ruined. You people are acting like every woman ever is going to divorce you and take all your stuff.

[Deleted]

Social harmony: Women being thankful that there are men out there to take care of them, since they are seen as lesser humans by society. Lining up for a husband. Men's fear of women empowerment is both pathetic and frighting. Are we supposed to be ok with oppressing half the world because we're afraid of working harder to find a mate?

Why yes, I'd rather have both sexes happy for doing something nice for each other instead of fighting, yes. Was that a rhetorical question? Women expect it or can just fall back on it and be content. Don't tell me you've found employment that somehow satisfies you as a person, because that is, shall we say, fairly rare.

Also what empowerment? Who gave them power and why? Why should they have power they have no ability to control for good? And since when is improving the life of a loved one immensely in ways you could not have foreseen before... some fucking how oppressing?

[tankbug]

True but when people are getting accused of something that at the time was consensual by both parties.. To only go and accuse one party of wrong doing because of want for a better word would be remorse after the fact can lead to things like this happening..

Fake rape accusation is not a massive problem though. Yes, we hear about it, but think about how insignificant it is next to all the sex that doesn't have any negative consequences.