Super Powers Would Suck: A thought experiment

[Dendrek]

Ah, okay, we're only talking about "one super power".

What about flying then? Wouldn't we die because there are not beneficial conditions for humans in the upper parts of atmosphere?

You can add more powers if you want, but you can't just assume that their body would be automatically suited for their power. That's just handwaving without specificity. And if you have to keep on tacking on more super powers, then you may as well just make him omnipotent.

[Deleted]

Omnipotence - having to choose between what 'good deeds' you will do on a minute by minute basis. How many people will die because you want to rest for 5 minutes.

You don't have to deal with every little thing just because you're omnipotent.

[Deleted]

• Stopping Time - You'd be blind. Sight comes from the absorption of photons after they've been reflected off of objects. No moving photons means no way to see.

Invisibility - Similar problems. Photons not reflecting off of objects, but also not hit the retina(?) so even if you moved through light, you would still see nothing.

[Eazy]

1) When he becomes super small, you compact all of that matter into a smaller space. Once he becomes small enough, he will collapse into a black hole. Schwarzschild_radius.
2) When he becomes super big, the forces that hold his molecules together become weaker (or non-existent) and would no longer be able to keep him intact.

What about changing sizes into another dimensions, maybe on a strings level?

Once he becomes small enough, he will collapse into a black hole.

Not sure about that. His density would be still too small even if he was 5 nanometer, it would be like density of the neutron star, which is about 6*10^14 gm/cm^3.
But it depends how far he can shrink... But I guess after that there would be working other laws of physics we know.

Okay, calculated that:
His Schwarzschild radius would be - 1,277m x10 ^-25 considereing that his weight is 86 kg(from the official marvel source).
Which is ridiculously small...

[Dendrek]

how about the power of super shut up
stop ruining things that are cool shhh

:P

Shapeshifting - Yay! I can't wait to have to concentrate on maintaining every minute detail of my appearance every hour of every day until I eventually lose my composure and turn into a shapeless gloopy mess. Aside from that, there are plenty of consequences of shapeshifting into a mouse or any other animal that'd effectively result in your brain devolving. Even shapechanging into a different human could potentially turn you into a completely different person with a whole new personality, and the risk of enduring significant brain damage as a result of a transformation going wrong is extremely high. It could even result in you losing your power to change back, because you've rewritten your own biology too much.
Whoops, now you're stuck looking like a mix between Ted Cruz and a llama. Forever.

I like this. When someone shapeshifts, we are expected to assume they just think "I'll turn into [X]" and then they turn into [X]. But how? How are the minute details of that change accomplished? If they don't have to micromanage those details themselves (a task that would require super human intellect and processing power, as well as complete knowledge of another being's or object's structure and anatomy) then what does?

[Hammerfest]

• Super Strength - You'd be scrawny as hell. Muscle comes from physical exertion. If lifting a car is easy for you, where's that exertion going to come from? Bench pressing trains? Lifting mountains?

• Super Speed - Depending on your speed, any of the following might become an issue for you: 1) black outs from loss of blood flow to the brain, 2) your skin being torn from your body, 3) your skin melting by super heated air, 4) a nuclear explosion by the rapid compression of atoms (assuming you're going near light speeds).

• Stopping Time - You'd be blind. Sight comes from the absorption of photons after they've been reflected off of objects. No moving photons means no way to see. Oh right, and you'd suffocate (no oxygen flowing into your lungs). That might be bad too.

• Energy Projection - Congratulations: you're a battery now. You can create energy out of nothing, why have you fight crime when we can stick you inside a chamber where you can use your power to crank an engine and power a city nearly indefinitely and practically for free?

I reject the premise of the argument because given the restrictions placed on these powers they cease become powers at all. If you want to talk about powers, you need to be talking about them as they are described in the fiction that contains them... like superhero comic books.

Superman's muscles are fortified by solar radiation and therefore he does not need to exercise to maintain his cut look. The Flash doesn't run out of his skin nor does he cause nuclear accidents when he uses his superspeed. Characters in comics who stop time don't go blind. You've created a bunch of strawmans here by describing the powers in ways they aren't typically depicted.

[Deleted]

What's the downside to invisibility?

[Dendrek]

Not sure about that. His density would be still too small even if he was 5 nanometer, it would be like density of the neutron star, which is about 6*10^14 gm/cm^3.
But it depends how far he can shrink... But I guess after that there would be working other laws of physics we know.

To be fair, in the movie he becomes smaller than a single atom. The amount of "what the fuck kind of science is this?" that went on there was outstanding.

[May90]

Still going to suffocate. Fluid dynamics.

Then you also have an issue with relativity. Does light still travel at the speed of light for you? I'm not sure what the consequences of this would be.

But wouldn't everything slow down accordingly, so nothing would change in how your body functions, other than the time scale? Then though, the processes in your brain would also slow down, so it would be of no use to you.

Agree with relativity; there are many things that could go wrong there.

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What's the downside to invisibility?

It is very well described in "The Invisible Man" by Wells.

[Dendrek]

Superman's muscles are fortified by solar radiation and therefore he does not need to exercise to maintain his cut look. The Flash doesn't run out of his skin nor does he cause nuclear accidents when he uses his superspeed. Characters in comics who stop time don't go blind. You've created a bunch of strawmans here by describing the powers in ways they aren't typically depicted.

Not all super strong characters have "logical" or even half-assed "semi-logical" reasons for why they wouldn't be scrawny. Even your explanation for Superman's physique is a bit convenient and convoluted, but I'll accept it. And as I mentioned for the Flash, he was given the speed force as a hand-wavy explanation why he doesn't destroy cities. To explain non-realistic things, we're given non-realistic explanations. That's fine from a comic book perspective. This thread is not only about the comic books though.

More or less, my point of making this thread was in the vain "What super power(s) would you want?" but taking it a step further "Are you really sure you'd want that?"

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What's the downside to invisibility?

Svinoi Banana gave a great answer to this: If you're invisible, you aren't able to absorb light. That also means your retinas aren't able to absorb light. It passes right through you. If they can't absorb light, they can't process light, and you can't see. You'd be blind.

[Creotor]

They're not super powers if they're useless/incredibly harming or fatal to use. That's more like shitty powers.

[Hammerfest]

More or less, my point of making this thread was in the vain "What super power(s) would you want?" but taking it a step further "Are you really sure you'd want that?"

Reminds me of this video...



Thing is, powers that suck suck and powers that don't suck don't suck depending on the set-up. For example, there was a character in Rising Stars who was practically invulnerable and a side effect of this "power" was that he had no sense of touch. The only sensations he could feel were when he was digesting food. So he became an over-eater and became obese. Plenty of other characters in media have practical invulnerability and they don't have this issue. Nobody in their right mind would select that guy's version of invulnerability over a character whose invulnerability has no down side. That's what I'm saying here. That's why I reject the premise as put fourth in the OP.

[Dendrek]

Reminds me of this video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vQ2RVqJCNM

Everything about Wolverine's powers would suck. Every time he pushes out his claws, it's painful for him. His nerves are fully healed each time, so he can't be desensitized to that pain. Instead he just grits through it like a badass. And living forever is, of course, a whole can of sucky worms on its own.

Thing is, powers that suck suck and powers that don't suck don't suck depending on the set-up. For example, there was a character in Rising Stars who was practically invulnerable and a side effect of this "power" was that he had no sense of touch. The only sensations he could feel were when he was digesting food. So he became an over-eater and became obese. Plenty of other characters in media have practical invulnerability and they don't have this issue. Nobody in their right mind would select that guy's version of invulnerability over a character whose invulnerability has no down side. That's what I'm saying here. That's why I reject the premise as put fourth in the OP.

The issue here is that you're saying "I'd totally take the idealized version of the power but not the realistic one." Most super powers as depicted in comic books are idealized to an extreme. They ignore every possible downside to most powers. And because we like the media (and the fantasy) we accept this. But it's silly.

One issue that we have with a lot of modern media in general (not just comic books) is that we don't even scrutinized obvious flaws in them because we're desensitized to them. We're inundated with entertainment so full of plotholes so often that we no longer even notice they're there. But we watch it to be entertained, and being hyper critical ruins that entertainment, especially if you are hyper critical of everything you watch. So we accept it because otherwise it wouldn't entertain us. But the plotholes are still there. We're just too lazy to care.

[Breccia]

Here are a few that come to mind:

Failure to add "healing" to the list.

[*]Super Strength - You'd be scrawny as hell. Muscle comes from physical exertion. If lifting a car is easy for you, where's that exertion going to come from? Bench pressing trains? Lifting mountains?

Sure. Why not? If you have super strength, it stands to reason someone else out there, arguably a villain, does too. Or, maybe, there's a natural disaster and you'd want to lift a mountain? Why wouldn't you exercise to get even super stronger?

[*]Super Speed - Depending on your speed, any of the following might become an issue for you: 1) black outs from loss of blood flow to the brain, 2) your skin being torn from your body, 3) your skin melting by super heated air, 4) a nuclear explosion by the rapid compression of atoms (assuming you're going near light speeds).

The usual assumption is someone who has super speed also have a metabolism to avoid such problems. The Flash, for example, has a body that works overtime even when standing still, to burn out toxins in his bloodstream. That said, yes, the air around you doesn't have that ability. Running at Mach 30 will cause the air around you to burst into flames.

[*]Stopping Time - You'd be blind. Sight comes from the absorption of photons after they've been reflected off of objects. No moving photons means no way to see. Oh right, and you'd suffocate (no oxygen flowing into your lungs). That might be bad too/

Again the assumption is you create a bubble of some kind that allows you to breathe and move items you touch, but the blind thing is 100% accurate.

[*]Energy Projection - Congratulations: you're a battery now. You can create energy out of nothing, why have you fight crime when we can stick you inside a chamber where you can use your power to crank an engine and power a city nearly indefinitely and practically for free?

I'd like to see that staff meeting.
"Right. We all have heard of that superhero rapper that can throw lightning, who's out there fighting crime and dropping phat beats."
"Tupacitor Shockur, yes."
"We're going to grab him and throw him in a power plant."
"So...we're going to get a super hero, and we're going to throw him basically in jail indefinitely?"
"Yes."
"Isn't that five or six kinds of illegal?"
"Well, we have powerful lobbyists. We can X-Men 3 some kind of legislation that lets us do this."
"Yeah, but law or not, isn't that a PR nightmare? His hit titles aside, if we yank a super hero and throw him in a power plant, people are going to ask very relevant questions like 'What the hell is wrong with you?' And it's an election year."
"Well, they'll come around when they get all that cheap electricity."
"So it'll be cheap? I thought our motivating factor here is greed. I mean, both motives are pretty sketchy, but --"
"We'll be making even more money, that's the important thing."
"How are we going to catch the guy? He throws lightning at people. Do we have the tools or manpower for this? Have you been training a special Rubber Squad while our backs are turned?"
"Close enough. Dr. Wen has been working on a super suit that stops time, so anyone could outrun his lightning and grab him. Dr. Wen! Show these people your new invention."
"OH GOD I'M BLIND. I THINK I'M IN THE LOBBY BUT I CAN'T BE SURE"
"Yeah, no. We're not doing this. It's loaded with downsides and has no practical benefit."
"I'm telling you, we could --"
"Also, couldn't he overcharge the reactor and blow it? Or absorb more power from it, getting stronger, and come after us even more powerful?"
"Well he--"
"Couldn't he just turn his lightning off and spite us?"
"Um--"
"And just a minute. He can throw a bolt of lightning every second or so, right? A bolt of lightning is about a billion joules of energy, give or take, which in turn makes it 278 kilowatt-hours. But even if he could do that 24-7, how much is that? About the same as a coal-fired plant, or small nuclear reactor? I mean, my energy bill was about average for the country, which is 20k kW-h per year. What we're talking about would power about 450,000 homes, and that's not including things like street lights or businesses. Is this really a valid option here?"
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED FOR HELP???"

[Danner]

Pick an "awesome" super power, then figure out all the reasons why it would be absolutely terrible to have.

If you think about it, I suspect every super power you can come up with would be dangerous, impractical and impossible (for more reasons than the obvious). You might even be surprised by some of the ways it simply wouldn't work. The obvious reasons most powers couldn't exist is that they defy the laws of the conservation of matter and energy (producing something from nothing). But the other possible consequences of those powers might be more subtle.

Fun topic!

Reality Bending
So, you drew the big prize in the superpower lottery, and you're basically omnipotent. Anything you wish for will come to exist. Anything you hate enough just stop existing. You can literally reshape the very fabric of existence to your will. I give it a week tops before you end up undoing reality altogether; be that on a whim, anger/annoyance or just sheer "what-would-happen-if-we-increased-gravity" inquisitiveness. And since you undid reality, you also undid yourself, with nobody left to clean up the mess.

Telepathy
You can talk to others remotely. Awesome! So can everyone else with a cellphone, meaning you're the aqua boy of the superhero community. But hey, unlike a certain other superpower user, at least you didn't unravel reality. I'm sure they will invite you to the annual superhero convention. Just don't expect to have to sign too many autographs. In fact, most people think you're kinda creepy. Maybe you should try to talk to people instead of talking into their heads.

Pyrokinesis
You can lit things on fire. It takes a little bit of energy to start all these fires, but nothing you can't cover with a decent meal. Unfortunately, after accidentally burning down your last 4 apartments, you are now homeless, blacklisted by the renting agency. The fire department hates your guts. You are also currently under a restraining order to not get closer than 500 meters to any gas station after what happened last may. At least you don't get cold, so there is that. But the allure of that flame is titillating, and you wonder if those rumors of you being some sort of crazy arsonist might actually be true after all...

Teleportation
I am sorry to say that the world's first teleporter is dead! After his first successful teleportation attempt, he suffered a massive stroke and died. According to the coroner's report, the cause of death was a multiple tiny blobs of air blocking several veins in his brain, likely introduced when reappearing on top of the air he was teleporting into. The coroner also expressed extreme discomfort regarding the sheer amount of damage the body suffered due to air bubbles ripping his body "tiny holes that were never meant for mankind to experience". Rest in peace.

Teleportation II
I am sorry to say that the world's second teleporter is also dead. I mean, he really had a better deal. He could travel anywhere, anytime through willpower alone. It was really as easy as flipping a coin, bending space-time to go somewhere, and there he was. Unlike some other hack teleporters, he could actually displace the matter of his target location, neatly avoiding known problems. And yet, he ended up dead. Turns out, the planet earth is traveling stupidly fast through the solar system. Even by just teleporting a step to the left, the earth moves almost 30 kilometers per second through space, meaning the accurracy of the teleport was terrible. That he ended up deep in magma was, in retrospect, hardly surprising. Rest in peace.

Teleportation III
I am sorry to say that the world's third teleporter is also dead. This should not really come as a surprise to anyone at this point. I mean, this guy had the right idea. Spatial positions are a relative thing. So what if the earth travels around the sun at crazy speeds. You just need to do teleportation relative to your own reference frame. At least that was what he thought until the day he decided to teleport to the north pole. He absolutely didn't account for the velocity difference caused by the earth's rotation. At the equator, the earth pushed him around at 1670 km/h. At the north pole... not so much. Meaning he immediately upon landing took off at a breakneck speed into the horizon, and promptly died from falling damage. Rest in peace.

Now before some smartass tries to cover this point, just take my world for it. You do not want to be the fourth teleporter in this tale, the one that ends up teleporting to australia and breaking his neck by landing upside-down. Let it go. Teleportation is a terrible terrible idea.

[schwarzkopf]

You don't have to deal with every little thing just because you're omnipotent.

That was in fact my point.... having to choose what lives to save, and having to stop saving lives to have a break. That process of choice would send you over the edge.

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They're not super powers if they're useless/incredibly harming or fatal to use. That's more like shitty powers.

Well - I challenge you to think of one super power, just ONE - that doesn't have a significant drawback.

[Danner]

Well - I challenge you to think of one super power, just ONE - that doesn't have a significant drawback.

The ability to instinctively know when it's exactly midnight?

[Dendrek]

Danner. I think I love you. It's strictly plutonic.... probably.

[schwarzkopf]

Svinoi Banana gave a great answer to this: If you're invisible, you aren't able to absorb light. That also means your retinas aren't able to absorb light. It passes right through you. If they can't absorb light, they can't process light, and you can't see. You'd be blind.

Don't forget that you would also freeze to death, as most warmth we get is transmitted via radiation - which is just a form of light (EM).

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The ability to instinctively know when it's exactly midnight?

There goes a long peaceful night's sleep - EVER AGAIN. As you are woken up at midnight EVERY night.

[Danner]

Danner. I think I love you. It's strictly plutonic.... probably.

<3

There goes a long peaceful night's sleep - EVER AGAIN. As you are woken up at midnight EVERY night.

Just go to bed later. But fair point, it's a downside all right. I stand corrected!

Okay, let me try that again.

20/20 Hindsight power: The supernatural ability to always, in hindsight, identify what you could have done differently to avoid a problem that occurred.