Founder of startup hears sexual harrassment complaint, what would you do?

[Steve French]

It's not really about her. I mean, since she felt the need to report it she clearly felt it was inappropriate, so there's that. It's more about a grown ass adult that apparently doesn't know how to conduct himself in a professional setting. Some things are excusable and wanting to get to know a coworker socially is totally fine. I know several people who are or have been in relationships with coworkers. But "milf"? Come on... Who uses that word to directly address someone they're interested in but don't know very well? Honestly, the guy has worse problems than needing to find a new job if that's what he thinks constitutes flirting.

You're absolutely correct, no adult ever uses the word milf, and it's totally used as some kind of threat like "mother IM GOING to fuck" right? It hasn't been overused so much that its basically just a word to describe attractive older women now right? Maybe you should act like a "grown ass adult" ? Making some big deal out of the word milf? I hear people say milf all the time and its usually women. And this wasn't in a professional situation, you people need to learn how to read. You make it sound like he walked up to her in the middle of work and was like "damn bitch you're a fine ass milf, lets fuck". Blow it out of proportion more please.

[Karnak]

It was not in a professional context. They were talking on social media over the weekend. She doesn't like it? Block him. She willingly gave him her information which at worst was intended to be networking or friends, at best whatever he wanted so more than likely somewhere in between.

Sexual harassment in the workplace should not be enforced by things you do when off work when not using work resources to do so.

This is not High School where you can tell the principal to suspend someone for saying mean things to you at the mall.

Sorry, but read my post again. This is not kindergarten with things walled off like that. The weekend does not make her a different person than she is at work. MILF is a 100% unacceptable term to direct at a co-worker.

[Steve French]

Sorry, but read my post again. This is not kindergarten with things walled off like that. The weekend does not make her a different person than she is at work. MILF is a 100% unacceptable term to direct at a co-worker.

Yeah you save that kinda shit for non-work related women. Errbody knows that. What do you think this is? KINDERGARTEN?

[Karnak]

You're absolutely correct, no adult ever uses the word milf, and it's totally used as some kind of threat like "mother IM GOING to fuck" right? It hasn't been overused so much that its basically just a word to describe attractive older women now right? Maybe you should act like a "grown ass adult" ? Making some big deal out of the word milf? I hear people say milf all the time and its usually women. And this wasn't in a professional situation, you people need to learn how to read. You make it sound like he walked up to her in the middle of work and was like "damn bitch you're a fine ass milf, lets fuck". Blow it out of proportion more please.

Where are you getting this tripe? Nobody, other than you, has said she was threatened.

You really need to step back and look at your bias.

Women are just humans.

[Adamas102]

Once again it was NOT in a professional setting. It was off work on the weekend on social media/texting apps.

If I have a coworker's personal cell number in order to contact them in case of a work emergency, that doesn't give me carte blanche to treat them as I would a lifelong buddy. According to the employee, she had made it clear that their interactions should adhere to what should be expected between coworkers. Calling someone a "milf" doesn't fit within those bounds. It doesn't matter that it didn't happen at the office between the hours of 9 to 5.

[Karnak]

Yeah you save that kinda shit for non-work related women. Errbody knows that.

If you don't want to lose your job, but don't mind being an asshole, yes. If you don't want to be an asshole you don't use it at all.

[Steve French]

Where are you getting this tripe? Nobody, other than you, has said she was threatened.

You really need to step back and look at your bias.

Women are just humans.

And karnaks are just trolls?

[Adamas102]

You're absolutely correct, no adult ever uses the word milf, and it's totally used as some kind of threat like "mother IM GOING to fuck" right? It hasn't been overused so much that its basically just a word to describe attractive older women now right? Maybe you should act like a "grown ass adult" ? Making some big deal out of the word milf? I hear people say milf all the time and its usually women. And this wasn't in a professional situation, you people need to learn how to read. You make it sound like he walked up to her in the middle of work and was like "damn bitch you're a fine ass milf, lets fuck". Blow it out of proportion more please.

We get it. You like to be edgy and sarcastic.

[Steve French]

We get it. You like to be edgy and sarcastic.

And you like to be clever and witty!

[Karnak]

We get it. You like to be edgy and sarcastic.

Not edgy and sarcastic. He is full on MRA and believes all that crap.

[Kapadons]

To throw another "what to do instance" from personal experience.

We own a chain of quick serve restaurants. Manager knows an employee from previous restaurant they worked at in the past. Manager also knows the employees sister on a friendly basis. Both are married. One day employee comes to work visibly upset about something. Manager asks her if everything is ok? Does the employee need to take the day off? Are the employees kids ok? Is the employees family ok? Then this is the employees marriage ok 3 days later employee comes to me saying the manager has been hitting on her and sexually harassing her. After sitting with her, pretty much the only thing I got out of her is that he looks at her "sexually" that "she knows what he is looking at her like that for" and the aforementioned marriage question" so I contact my business partners and ask them best course of action. He contacts his lawyer who refers us to a HR company. HR gets written statements from both employees and basically says she doesn't have a legitimate sexual harassment claim. It's basically her "feeling" he looks at her sexually. Which is hard to prove. So where do we go from here ? Manager is good at his job but not irreplaceable. Employee is a dime a dozen employee that is easily replaceable. HR company says manager didnt technically do anything wrong but it's clear neither really cares to work with the other any longer. We offer employee a chance to reassign to a new location like 4 miles away under a new manager with no contact needed with old manager. She feels we were in the wrong and she was harassed. And she quits her job.

[GrinningMan]

I wouldn't toss it on the internet for sympathy hits, for one.

[Mormolyce]

Holy shit even the first line which in most cases is non romantic in nature?

Probably not on its own, depends on context though.

[Deleted]

Where are you getting this tripe? Nobody, other than you, has said she was threatened.

You really need to step back and look at your bias.

Women are just humans.

So harassing someone is not threatening them?

Either she was threatened and had reason to go to HR or she wasn't threatened and had no reason to go to HR.
Personally i'd say that calling someone a milf is bad taste, but by no means harassing someone.

[Mormolyce]

1) this is only harassment because she wasn't attracted to him. If she was into the guy it never would have been reported. So the lesson is don't hit in people out of your league.

Honestly, I don't know how to explain to people the difference between welcome flirting and unwelcome harassment, other than to say if you have trouble telling the difference you should definitely avoid flirting with anyone.

[Karnak]

To throw another "what to do instance" from personal experience.

We own a chain of quick serve restaurants. Manager knows an employee from previous restaurant they worked at in the past. Manager also knows the employees sister on a friendly basis. Both are married. One day employee comes to work visibly upset about something. Manager asks her if everything is ok? Does the employee need to take the day off? Are the employees kids ok? Is the employees family ok? Then this is the employees marriage ok 3 days later employee comes to me saying the manager has been hitting on her and sexually harassing her. After sitting with her, pretty much the only thing I got out of her is that he looks at her "sexually" that "she knows what he is looking at her like that for" and the aforementioned marriage question" so I contact my business partners and ask them best course of action. He contacts his lawyer who refers us to a HR company. HR gets written statements from both employees and basically says she doesn't have a legitimate sexual harassment claim. It's basically her "feeling" he looks at her sexually. Which is hard to prove. So where do we go from here ? Manager is good at his job but not irreplaceable. Employee is a dime a dozen employee that is easily replaceable. HR company says manager didnt technically do anything wrong but it's clear neither really cares to work with the other any longer. We offer employee a chance to reassign to a new location like 4 miles away under a new manager with no contact needed with old manager. She feels we were in the wrong and she was harassed. And she quits her job.

That seems fair. Manager didn't do anything wrong. Employee was unreasonable.

[apples]

It's kind of a stretch to say that calling someone a MILF is the same as saying "I want to fuck you". Obviously it's suggested but not anymore suggestive than calling someone hot or sexy. I promise you there are girls out there who would actually take that as a compliment whether you agree or not. Maybe that's worked for him in the past. No one is condoning the behavior we're just saying it's overreacting to fire him for sexual harassment which could potentially ruin his career. Unless he's been warned and continued the behavior. Obviously he hasn't been warned. Clearly she's uncomfortable with it but she hasn't directly told him that. You're acting as if the guy felt her up in the office.

he had the job for a couple weeks and then pulls that and you want to give him a warning?

your sjw is showing

[Karnak]

So harassing someone is not threatening them?

Either she was threatened and had reason to go to HR or she wasn't threatened and had no reason to go to HR.
Personally i'd say that calling someone a milf is bad taste, but by no means harassing someone.

No. That is why harassing and threatening are different words.

[Kapadons]

You're absolutely correct, no adult ever uses the word milf, and it's totally used as some kind of threat like "mother IM GOING to fuck" right? It hasn't been overused so much that its basically just a word to describe attractive older women now right? Maybe you should act like a "grown ass adult" ? Making some big deal out of the word milf? I hear people say milf all the time and its usually women. And this wasn't in a professional situation, you people need to learn how to read. You make it sound like he walked up to her in the middle of work and was like "damn bitch you're a fine ass milf, lets fuck". Blow it out of proportion more please.

Your right, milf has lost its original meaning. But not to a lawyer or judge and not to an HR person whose job it is to keep it away from a lawyer or judge.

[apples]

You'd rather ruin his entire career? If you don't think being terminated for sexual harassment wouldn't do that then you're delusional.

the employer didnt ruin his career

the employee ruined his career as is all explained in the OP

as well, thats not how firings worked. no one is going to know why he got "fired" unless he tells them