A guild I was in for seven years disbanded today

[Relapses]

This is the most offensive post in this thread. Daffy Duck does not say that. Sylvester does.

uwotm8

[Faenskap]

Are flirty "teehee im a girl ~*^____^*~" girls a problem? Yes, they are. As a female player myself, it's sad to see that many here hold the opinion that this is the behaviour of all female players in WoW, when it most assuredly isn't. Most serious female players are just that - serious. They are here to play, not to flirt, not to get a free boost, or get geared or what have you. But then these "gurls" have created a false representation of all female players, which have lead to people here basically believing any girl near a computer is satan herself, here to twist and manipulate poor boys. Then they go on to have a "no girl" policy and even going so far as to claim Nihilum was world 1st due to no girls. Moronic conclusions and solutions.

I don't want to create drama, I don't want free loot, I don't want special treatment. I want to play. And if some of these 'honorable' posters here can't tell the difference between that and "teehee free loot plz", then that would be like me judging all men based on what I read here and elsewhere on the internet, which doesn't put men in a favourable light and surely, it's not fair.


Is the girl in OP's story partially to blame? Yes, I'd say so. But you can't lay all the blame on her, either, which begs the question:
OP, how did your guild survive for seven fucking years with such a shitty management?

[Deleted]

Chicks don't bring drama to guilds unless there are already guys in there willing to support and encourage their toxic behavior.

If there is no problem and then a chick shows up and suddenly there are a lot of problems ... it's the guys' fault. I get it.

I understand that lonely boys can be pretty stupid when a girl turns up in gchat. But a girl that abuses this to gain attention and maybe some gifts is the worst that can happen to a guild because she'll use the affection of the lonely wankers to gain benefits. And that's on her, not on the the guys.

If a girl doesn't abuse this, there's no drama. Ever.

[Noradin]

I've seen this happen. You can't just blame the girl though, her enablers are just as bad.

Exactly this.
The only thing to do is cracking down hard on white knighting whenever it first shows.

There is no reason whatsoever to ever give a guy (girl) a break he wouldn't get otherwise just because he is after a girl (or guy).
If they are serious about it then they should do something for them, not get their comrades to do it instead.
If they are desperate tell them to log off and try to find something outside.

[Marrilaife]

Then they go on to have a "no girl" policy

Should we also ban alcohol just because some people cause trouble when drunk and can't take it with moderation?

We don't blame the mentally ill when they are taken advantage of why would we blame these guys.

Are you saying that guys playing wow are mentally incapacitated also colloquially known as retarded? I used to believe gamers / geeks / nerds are proud of being more intelligent than average population.

On the other hand... We do get threads like these:
http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...m-or-just-iffy

[Lorianus]

When Helena of Troy brought down an entire city with her relationship, i would think that a guild is nothing but a snap with her fingers for a girl

[Karlz0rz]

I remember back in the BC days, we had a very young couple in our raiding group. Like, she was 16 and he was 19 or something like that. And during a raid, they kinda had a little spat with each other. At one point the guy made a snide remake towards "Twilight", I think that warewolf dude in particular.
And for some reason she raged REALLY hard over this, and instantly wrote in guild chat "Yeah, well you have a small dick!". Ventrilo got super silent, and then he logged off. Everyone burst out laughing!

Ps. He was Asian. The comment probably hurt a lot...

[Gaarashatan]

this is good stories to read, ill tell mine but its not as good.

i havent ran into any experience where a girl single handedly broke up a guild. but there was a guild on forums recruiting back in bc/wotlk when i was a young troll.
they made it very clear that it was an all girl guild and they wont accept any men. so my young self popped on and slammed in those keys with a smirk on his face.
tomorrow he was suspended from forums. what was it i said? "this guild wont last when periods hit"

[Deleted]

I don't want to create drama, I don't want free loot, I don't want special treatment. I want to play. And if some of these 'honorable' posters here can't tell the difference between that and "teehee free loot plz", then that would be like me judging all men based on what I read here and elsewhere on the internet, which doesn't put men in a favourable light and surely, it's not fair.

This is true for most people in gaming (in general) and i assume for most girls or women in gaming (in particular).
Having always raided with raids/guilds that seemed to have a rather large percentage of females (from what others told us: 'WoW, there are so many women in TS' etc), I have seldom encountered those "Look at me I am a girl treat me nice and give me gifts"-types and when I have they were usually resented by male and female guild/raid-mates alike.

But yes, having both male and females human beings raiding together and spending thus quite some time doing something together there is potential for romance and feelings and this can lead to drama.

I myself was raidleader of my guild when we got some new recruits, among them a women I instantly bonded with. We got along, we leveld toons together, we started hanging out in Teamspeak just to talk and so on. So one day we noticed 'ok there is something here' and we both knew, that this could cause truble for the guild either way. I talked to my other officers and informed them and told them to keep me in check if I should start to favour her over others, and her and I agreed not to act as lovebirds while raiding.
Well, eventually out relationship ended, and sadly it did not end well and we parted in anger.
This could have poisoned the athmosphere of the raid, but gladly it didn't. Maybe because our raid was composed of people who were quite mature and maybe because we always kept 'personal life' and 'raid/ guild life' seperate, I don't know, but I am glad it did work out (for the raid).

Point being, even without attentionseekers and even among adult people drama can arise, and male-female relationship/feelings-drama is just one of the things that can happen in a social group like a raid/guild.
No need to blame just one party.

[Deleted]

Had such an experience too, i think it's not unusual in this type of game. We had a chick in our guild who was very nice and a decent player and one of the other raiders was in love with her since first meeting her in everquest i think (he was in love with her for years) the girl saw him as a friend and told him on multiple occasions that there's never ever going to be anything between them. I started to flirt with her in game cause she was funny mainly and we both liked eachother when we first met at a guildmeet. Out of respect for the other guy who was in love with her we didn't start anything there cause he was also present, but we arranged to meet a couple days later. We hooked up and had a thing going for about half a year (it was a friends with benefits thing, nothing really serious). The dude found out eventually and felt betrayed so he left the guild and took some people with him which eventually ended the guild, this was back during the 10 man days so a couple of people leaving easily led to the guild being dissolved. It was kind of sad since this guild has been going on for a couple years at that point and everyone got along well and his obsession with her even though she told him he has no chance killed it in the end.

[Zephre]

I've had a similar thing happen last expansion, we had this girl in the guild and she often tried to use it against some of the guys in the guild, she was pretty and well you know how that turns out (most of the time).

One day she decided to cause some drama and had one of my officers supported her, turns out they were in a long distance relationship, so I told her to fuck right off and the officer started having a go at me, so I told him to fuck off as well.

Diplomacy isn't my strongest point when it comes to dealing with cunts, I kicked them both out of the guild and harmony was restored.

[Deleted]

This is true for most people in gaming (in general) and i assume for most girls or women in gaming (in particular).
Having always raided with raids/guilds that seemed to have a rather large percentage of females (from what others told us: 'WoW, there are so many women in TS' etc), I have seldom encountered those "Look at me I am a girl treat me nice and give me gifts"-types and when I have they were usually resented by male and female guild/raid-mates alike.

But yes, having both male and females human beings raiding together and spending thus quite some time doing something together there is potential for romance and feelings and this can lead to drama.

I myself was raidleader of my guild when we got some new recruits, among them a women I instantly bonded with. We got along, we leveld toons together, we started hanging out in Teamspeak just to talk and so on. So one day we noticed 'ok there is something here' and we both knew, that this could cause truble for the guild either way. I talked to my other officers and informed them and told them to keep me in check if I should start to favour her over others, and her and I agreed not to act as lovebirds while raiding.
Well, eventually out relationship ended, and sadly it did not end well and we parted in anger.
This could have poisoned the athmosphere of the raid, but gladly it didn't. Maybe because our raid was composed of people who were quite mature and maybe because we always kept 'personal life' and 'raid/ guild life' seperate, I don't know, but I am glad it did work out (for the raid).

Point being, even without attentionseekers and even among adult people drama can arise, and male-female relationship/feelings-drama is just one of the things that can happen in a social group like a raid/guild.
No need to blame just one party.

So much this. Longer periods of time spent together with whatever sexual preference partner you have can lead to romance and romance can lead to drama. That basically sums it up. Bad characters like the ones described here are just making the effect worse, but even with healthy attraction it can end the same

[Jotaux]

Had such an experience too, i think it's not unusual in this type of game. We had a chick in our guild who was very nice and a decent player and one of the other raiders was in love with her since first meeting her in everquest i think (he was in love with her for years) the girl saw him as a friend and told him on multiple occasions that there's never ever going to be anything between them. I started to flirt with her in game cause she was funny mainly and we both liked eachother when we first met at a guildmeet. Out of respect for the other guy who was in love with her we didn't start anything there cause he was also present, but we arranged to meet a couple days later. We hooked up and had a thing going for about half a year (it was a friends with benefits thing, nothing really serious). The dude found out eventually and felt betrayed so he left the guild and took some people with him which eventually ended the guild, this was back during the 10 man days so a couple of people leaving easily led to the guild being dissolved. It was kind of sad since this guild has been going on for a couple years at that point and everyone got along well and his obsession with her even though she told him he has no chance killed it in the end.

A real friend would have cut all contact with the guy for his own good.

[Spoonman]

Ive only been in a guild where the officers were the bad players and they were blaming others instead on wipes and also were replacing ppl actively. When I finally took the lead and called out the bullshit and left, the whole guild fell apart
The guild had players that I would def consider as the best ones I ever played with so it was pretty sad
It was just too annoying to be in a guild that had top potential but due to the toxic raiders had officer positions the guild didn't make it anywhere

[Deleted]

Chicks don't bring drama to guilds unless there are already guys in there willing to support and encourage their toxic behavior.

That's some wicked logic right here. Like saying drug dealers can't do anything illegal without people willing to buy drugs from them. It's technically right, but the drug dealer is still the main culprit here.

[psyquest]

Also people dont seem to realise that when it comes to relationships and sex, the woman has always the upper hand on the man. The "game" of seduction is most definetely at the advantage of women (unless you are a handsome man dating ugly women).

[teddabear]

Happens all the time. Best defense is actually to have more girls so they can call her on her BS.

[Time Sage]

This is why you need gay officers, to make them immune to this shit

[Deleted]

Also people dont seem to realise that when it comes to relationships and sex, the woman has always the upper hand on the man. The "game" of seduction is most definetely at the advantage of women (unless you are a handsome man dating ugly women).

That's only true if you allow it to be that way though. If only one person in the relationship has all the power, it's not a very healthy relationship to be in in the first place. No one person can control another, especially over a computer game. If you allow yourself to fall head over heels for some female guildmate and do anything she asks, that's on you.

[Deleted]

This is why you need gay officers, to make them immune to this shit

But they won't be immune to each other.