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  1. #61
    It's not cheating if your partner never finds out, or if you say you are sorry. So why not?

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by zmuci View Post
    It's not cheating if your partner never finds out, or if you say you are sorry. So why not?
    Of course it is still cheating. What kind of silly logic is this.

  3. #63
    The Unstoppable Force May90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zmuci View Post
    It's not cheating if your partner never finds out, or if you say you are sorry. So why not?
    Eh, no. If you cheated on the exam and no one ever found out, it is still cheating. Same here. Cheating is the act. Whether the cheating has been discovered or not is another matter.

    That's pretty much what makes it cheating: the desire to hide something from others. I'd argue that it is not cheating if you let your partner know of that - although, if you've talked to them before about this and you both agreed that it was not okay, then it is a disservice to your partner.
    Quote Originally Posted by King Candy View Post
    I can't explain it because I'm an idiot, and I have to live with that post for the rest of my life. Better to just smile and back away slowly. Ignore it so that it can go away.
    Thanks for the avatar goes to Carbot Animations and Sy.

  4. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by Pendra View Post
    Of course it is still cheating. What kind of silly logic is this.
    Quote Originally Posted by May90 View Post
    Eh, no. If you cheated on the exam and no one ever found out, it is still cheating. Same here. Cheating is the act. Whether the cheating has been discovered or not is another matter.

    That's pretty much what makes it cheating: the desire to hide something from others. I'd argue that it is not cheating if you let your partner know of that - although, if you've talked to them before about this and you both agreed that it was not okay, then it is a disservice to your partner.
    If your partner is cheating on you and you don't know it, are you going to leave him/she for cheating? No, because you don't know it occurred, so it's basically not cheating.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by zmuci View Post
    If your partner is cheating on you and you don't know it, are you going to leave him/she for cheating? No, because you don't know it occurred, so it's basically not cheating.
    Of course it is. Are you serious? Sure, they can't leave you for it if they don't know about it - but it is still cheating Oo
    If you murder someone and get away with because no one finds out, it is still murder and you are still a murderer.

  6. #66
    The Unstoppable Force May90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zmuci View Post
    If your partner is cheating on you and you don't know it, are you going to leave him/she for cheating? No, because you don't know it occurred, so it's basically not cheating.
    Me, I wouldn't leave my partner because of cheating, because I don't see it as that of a big deal. That said, if my partner cheated of me and I wouldn't know it, how would it change the fact of cheating? Not knowing that something happened =/= something didn't happen.
    Quote Originally Posted by King Candy View Post
    I can't explain it because I'm an idiot, and I have to live with that post for the rest of my life. Better to just smile and back away slowly. Ignore it so that it can go away.
    Thanks for the avatar goes to Carbot Animations and Sy.

  7. #67
    Quote Originally Posted by zmuci View Post
    If your partner is cheating on you and you don't know it, are you going to leave him/she for cheating? No, because you don't know it occurred, so it's basically not cheating.
    I believe this person is just joking.

  8. #68
    The Unstoppable Force May90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonpartyfan View Post
    I believe this person is just joking.
    Quite a few people in this thread said a similar thing. Maybe they are all joking... Or maybe there is some weird mentality present in our society. :/
    Quote Originally Posted by King Candy View Post
    I can't explain it because I'm an idiot, and I have to live with that post for the rest of my life. Better to just smile and back away slowly. Ignore it so that it can go away.
    Thanks for the avatar goes to Carbot Animations and Sy.

  9. #69
    Deleted
    I find it more complicated than just black/white.

    Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.

    On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
    Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.

    The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
    If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?

    Just sayin', not everything's that simple.

  10. #70
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    It all comes down to what arangement you have with your other. I have a girl and we live apart. She likes to date girls on the side, i like to date girls on the side. We are open with what we do and so on.
    She knows i have others on the side and i know she has others on the side.

    Be open. It's not a big thing.

    edit: forgot to add. We can always VETO if we thing the other person picked up a subpar side dish. Hasnt happened yet.
    Last edited by mmoc44505a06a9; 2016-05-30 at 02:19 PM.

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonpartyfan View Post
    I believe this person is just joking.
    Maybe. But like May said, some people actually believe those things...so you never know.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiase View Post
    Are you trying to tell yourself that it wouldn't be cheating if you cheated on your girlfriend / wife?
    It doesn't matter how you try and slice and dice it.

    If you are in a committed relationship then it would be considered cheating.



    What the fuck is wrong with you?
    Just because no one is around to witness X or Y from happening does not mean it didn't happen.

    So what? You also think that if you close your eyes and you can't see something that it also stops existing?
    If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  13. #73
    The Unstoppable Force May90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcs View Post
    I find it more complicated than just black/white.

    Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.

    On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
    Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.

    The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
    If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?

    Just sayin', not everything's that simple.
    If your SO does not satisfy you the ways you always wanted, then perhaps this is the problem that needs to be addressed in a talk with them? Not hidden from them and resolved through means such as cheating.

    Many people like to enjoy benefits of something, while avoiding responsibilities. A person might want to enjoy life with someone they love, while trying to go around the rules of the relationship they have decided on. If two people agree that cheating in their relationship is unacceptable, then if one feels the need to do it anyway, they should quit the relationship; same as, when one of the parties breaks a business contract, the contract is void. If it is such a big deal for the person, then they shouldn't have entered the relationship / signed the contract in the first place.

    So, in my eyes it IS that simple. If in any kind of relationship - love, friendship, business, diplomacy, etc. - one side absolutely needs to have something, then they should make it clear before everyone involved and explain that if they cannot give it to them, they are going to look for another way to get it. Not say, "Okay, never mind", and then act behind everyone's backs.
    Quote Originally Posted by King Candy View Post
    I can't explain it because I'm an idiot, and I have to live with that post for the rest of my life. Better to just smile and back away slowly. Ignore it so that it can go away.
    Thanks for the avatar goes to Carbot Animations and Sy.

  14. #74
    Quote Originally Posted by Master of Coins View Post
    If everyone involved knows about it, it's fine.

    Kierkegaard posed a long time ago already that it's nonsense to think you can have both deep romance and passion and a responsible longterm relationship. They are two seperate things.
    Hardly a reason to justify cheating imo. If you have that kind of relationship, whatever I guess, but almost two decades of marriage to my wife says otherwise. No one is perfect. Your expectations in a long term relationship should adjust accordingly. The idea of "perfect romance and long term relationship" may be the holy grail, but it's definitely not the norm. Most relationships are a compromise. Settling for "this is enough" for me etc. I personally would never seek out the lack of one thing in a long term relationship in another person, because rarely does it work out as a whole. Maybe temporarily, but long term it would have negative side effects. Now I'm not saying said relationships don't exist, I'm saying it's not the norm and can be very tricky to balance.

  15. #75
    Warchief Zoibert the Bear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiase View Post
    This might shock you, but someone, at this very moment died, someone at this very moment is having sex and someone, somewhere, just at this very moment gave birth to a child. Someone else is eating food while another is starving.
    Count me shocked. My brain just imploded as wisdom overflowed.

  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yvaelle View Post
    then you are cheating: cut and dry.
    what if it's uncut and wet?


    considering the topic at hand... gotta ask that question.
    "The pen is mightier than the sword.. and considerably easier to write with."

  17. #77
    ...sigh

    A fling on the side is cheating, a ding on the side is...curiosity?

  18. #78
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    well, if it is just oral sex....

    Eatin' ain't cheatin'

  19. #79
    Quote Originally Posted by Ransath View Post
    well, if it is just oral sex....

    Eatin' ain't cheatin'
    Oral sex is cheating, lol.

    Also a good way to spread around STDs, if you're doing it unprotected with lots of people :/

  20. #80
    Well, as my highschool football coach used to say.

    "If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin."

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