It's not cheating if your partner never finds out, or if you say you are sorry. So why not?
It's not cheating if your partner never finds out, or if you say you are sorry. So why not?
Eh, no. If you cheated on the exam and no one ever found out, it is still cheating. Same here. Cheating is the act. Whether the cheating has been discovered or not is another matter.
That's pretty much what makes it cheating: the desire to hide something from others. I'd argue that it is not cheating if you let your partner know of that - although, if you've talked to them before about this and you both agreed that it was not okay, then it is a disservice to your partner.
I find it more complicated than just black/white.
Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.
On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.
The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?
Just sayin', not everything's that simple.
It all comes down to what arangement you have with your other. I have a girl and we live apart. She likes to date girls on the side, i like to date girls on the side. We are open with what we do and so on.
She knows i have others on the side and i know she has others on the side.
Be open. It's not a big thing.
edit: forgot to add. We can always VETO if we thing the other person picked up a subpar side dish. Hasnt happened yet.
Last edited by mmoc44505a06a9; 2016-05-30 at 02:19 PM.
If your SO does not satisfy you the ways you always wanted, then perhaps this is the problem that needs to be addressed in a talk with them? Not hidden from them and resolved through means such as cheating.
Many people like to enjoy benefits of something, while avoiding responsibilities. A person might want to enjoy life with someone they love, while trying to go around the rules of the relationship they have decided on. If two people agree that cheating in their relationship is unacceptable, then if one feels the need to do it anyway, they should quit the relationship; same as, when one of the parties breaks a business contract, the contract is void. If it is such a big deal for the person, then they shouldn't have entered the relationship / signed the contract in the first place.
So, in my eyes it IS that simple. If in any kind of relationship - love, friendship, business, diplomacy, etc. - one side absolutely needs to have something, then they should make it clear before everyone involved and explain that if they cannot give it to them, they are going to look for another way to get it. Not say, "Okay, never mind", and then act behind everyone's backs.
Hardly a reason to justify cheating imo. If you have that kind of relationship, whatever I guess, but almost two decades of marriage to my wife says otherwise. No one is perfect. Your expectations in a long term relationship should adjust accordingly. The idea of "perfect romance and long term relationship" may be the holy grail, but it's definitely not the norm. Most relationships are a compromise. Settling for "this is enough" for me etc. I personally would never seek out the lack of one thing in a long term relationship in another person, because rarely does it work out as a whole. Maybe temporarily, but long term it would have negative side effects. Now I'm not saying said relationships don't exist, I'm saying it's not the norm and can be very tricky to balance.
...sigh
A fling on the side is cheating, a ding on the side is...curiosity?
well, if it is just oral sex....
Eatin' ain't cheatin'
Well, as my highschool football coach used to say.
"If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin."