Relationships - A little fling on the side?

[bloodmoth13]

Its cheating. If you are commited then you wont do it, sounds like you arent in it 100%.

Dont be a dick, you cant have your cake and eat it too, man up and make a choice, if you want to 'taste fruits' as you put it, tell your partner and leave her, if you do follow through, dont be surprised when your relationship turns to shit.

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I find it more complicated than just black/white.

Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.

On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.

The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?

Just sayin', not everything's that simple.

Its not, if you tell someone you are commited and dont want to see other people, then do, you are cheating, its black and white, simple as that, if you fuck someone else then you are cheating, its really not hard.

Also LOL at getting scarred from not being able to fulfill your fetishes.

Self gratification is NOT a reasonable reason to cheat! thats the absolute least compelling reason to cheat.

What the hell are your fetishes that you cant share with your partner? are youa fucking pedophile or something?

It actually really is simple, if you fuck someone else, you are cheating.

[ro9ue]

I find it more complicated than just black/white.

Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.

On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.

The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?

Just sayin', not everything's that simple.

Oh there's definitely a grey area. It's just really, really, really dark grey.

[xChurch]

Would it be considered cheating if you cheat on your SO? Ya probably.

[Charge me Doctor]

Define fling. Some people consider female friend to be cheating. If you go to the same pool once a week and your SO knows about it, that's not cheating. If you share sweets (and, i mean, literally, like, candy, or biscuits, it's not some weird innuendo) with your co-worker, that's not cheating either.

[Celista]

I find it more complicated than just black/white.

Imagine this scenario: you are in a lenghty and steady relationship. Sexual life is good but not enough to satisfy you. On top of that, your SO is unwilling to fulfill certain fantasies you wish for before the sex drive is gone. And then you meet someone who's clearly into you, knows your relationship status but could possibly satisfy you the ways you always wanted.

On one hand, you can choose staying faithful to your SO and potentially face having unquenched desires that might scar you in future, on the other hand there's a one-night prospect of going all out and doing whatever you wanted with the 3rd party person but that's considered cheating.
Telling your SO about wanting to fuck other person would straight up kill the relationship.

The point I'm getting to is: oftentimes there's a reason people cheat at some point in hope to prevent doing so in future which would have a far bigger impact. Where should the line be drawn between making one a happy, fulfilled person and limiting oneself to ensure no harm comes to SOs.
If your SO doesn't want to aid you in those "struggles" then is staying in this state loving?

Just sayin', not everything's that simple.

Why do some people have such a hard time being mature human beings about things? Have an adult conversation with your SO and see what happens. Hard, I know.

[judgementofantonidas]

Are you okay with the idea of being in a committed relationship, but having a little fling on the side with maybe a co-worker?

Would that be considered cheating if you are totally committed to your girlfriend / wife, but you wanted to "try a variety of fruits" if you will?

cheating is cheating. you are either commuted or you are cheating. "open" relationships are just a cop out.

[Celista]

Yeah, but let's not pretend that this is a thing everywhere now either.

What do you do when your SO has been unwilling to have sex for an excessively long period of time? (Go take a look here for example). Would they still have the right to complain about it if you end up being intimate with someone else?

What if the SO is a little bit childish and wouldn't accept any kind of 'adult conversation' about the subject? And let's not pretend this is rare now either, there's a lot of ... not too amazing / great people out there that cause major fights over petty things.

At that point I wouldn't blame a guy or woman for saying: "I'm gonna be fucking another person. Deal with it or piss off."

Sure, but you at least HAVE that conversation first. I definitely wouldn't be able to be in a relationship where my needs weren't being met, but I would be an adult enough to sit my SO down and have that conversation with them. If you care about someone and have been in a relationship with them for any length of time, you should show them that respect by talking to them first, and not fucking someone else behind their back. Especially if there was a medical/mental health issue that was affecting the lack of action in the bedroom.

If you can't have a conversation with that person and you're not getting your needs met...probably time to move on, doesn't sound like much of a relationship.

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cheating is cheating. you are either commuted or you are cheating. "open" relationships are just a cop out.

I disagree, I think some people are more naturally "open"/like having a variety of partners. Men and women alike.

I am not one of them, but I can understand that some people are simply wired differently than I am.

[Charge me Doctor]

Yeah, but let's not pretend that this is a thing everywhere now either.

What do you do when your SO has been unwilling to have sex for an excessively long period of time? (Go take a look here for example). Would they still have the right to complain about it if you end up being intimate with someone else?

What if the SO is a little bit childish and wouldn't accept any kind of 'adult conversation' about the subject? And let's not pretend this is rare now either, there's a lot of ... not too amazing / great people out there that cause major fights over petty things or just can't be reasonably engaged for an honest talk.

At that point I wouldn't blame a guy or woman for saying: "I'm gonna be fucking another person. Deal with it or piss off."

Cheating is not about right to complain. If you are not satisfied with life with your SO (being it sex or whatever), you discuss it, instead of silently looking for a affair (there are stories of men, who live with SO who do not want to have kids. And their solution instead of a divorce is to have kids with other woman and supply both families). If you are no longer satisfied with relationship, you have to end it, or fix it. Cheating is neither of these

[judgementofantonidas]

Sure, but you at least HAVE that conversation first. I definitely wouldn't be able to be in a relationship where my needs weren't being met, but I would be an adult enough to sit my SO down and have that conversation with them. If you care about someone and have been in a relationship with them for any length of time, you should show them that respect by talking to them first, and not fucking someone else behind their back. Especially if there was a medical/mental health issue that was affecting the lack of action in the bedroom.

If you can't have a conversation with that person and you're not getting your needs met...probably time to move on, doesn't sound like much of a relationship.

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I disagree, I think some people are more naturally "open"/like having a variety of partners. Men and women alike.

I am not one of them, but I can understand that some people are simply wired differently than I am.

an open relationshit is just two people playing the field.

[Thoughtful Trolli]

You need to switch champions to win, its part of the core game play, duh.

[Celista]

an open relationshit is just two people playing the field.

Nah. I've seen it work between people, poly relationships are pretty popular out here.

I see the appeal but I don't think such relationships are for me.