More work = Less choires around the house

[Machismo]

My wife one time tried to complain that I wasn't doing enough chores around the house. So, I offered to write down everything I did for chores, and asked that she do the same. I made sure we also put down how much time we spent on each one. When all was said and done, I was doing about 80% of the chores. It's amazing how fast that quieted her down.

[Celista]

If both work, both should care for the house, imo. Fighting over the numbers just seems really immature and trivial to me. Pick up after yourself, and if you see a mess, clean it, regardless if you worked more hours that week.

I don't work, so I completely care for the house, errands, cooking, kids, etc. That's fair.

Yeah I think that's completely fair. Although I think that if one person is dramatically more of a slob then they should do a greater share of cleaning up. Then again I'd never live with a slob in the first place, I like things clean and neat.

[thilicen]

I always find myself in this discussion with the miss.
I work 45h a week, she works 38.

Therfor she (imo) has to spend 7h a week more on choires around the house.

Do you think this is fair? She sure as hell doesnt.

Arguing over a 7 hour difference to get out of housework? You're a jackass. Keep it up and she's bound to figure that out.

[Deleted]

Just to be clear, i do my chores.
We just sometimes have a discussion about em.

For instance when i get home at 8 and shes been home since 5 and asks me to do laundry.

[mizeri]

just say yes dear and keep on doing what you do

[Machismo]

Just to be clear, i do my chores.
We just sometimes have a discussion about em.

And in that discussion, you seem to think she should do 7 more hours of chores per week.

[Gilbergrape]

Fighting over the numbers just seems really immature

That's so true. The misses started complaining about the numbers, so by that she is the one that is immature.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

If both work, both should care for the house, imo. Fighting over the numbers just seems really immature and trivial to me. Pick up after yourself, and if you see a mess, clean it, regardless if you worked more hours that week.

I don't work, so I completely care for the house, errands, cooking, kids, etc. That's fair.

Kinda sounds to me like you might actually be getting the raw deal there. The cooking, cleaning, errands, etc bit makes sense...but it seems to me a father should have at least a little something to do with taking care of his kids.

[Powerogue]

I think it's fair, but I doubt the opinion of random people on the internet will sway her.

[Grym]

She isn't obligated to do more housework as long as your money isn't mix in with hers.

You work more hours, you get more money, that is fair.

[Shibito]

Funny how people are butthurt by a picture of a woman choosing to be taken a picture of like that.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

That's so true. The misses started complaining about the numbers, so by that she is the one that is immature.

That doesn't appear to be the case. He's the one saying she "owes" him an extra 7 hours.

[Bigbamboozal]

I don't see any extremists here. The images you are choosing offer nothing to the thread other than an excuse for people to assume you are sexist which in turn has a detrimental effect to the strength of your argument. It's in your own interests to cease using them.

Well, that's YOUR take on it...but don't speak for everyone.
I mean, maybe you're just gay and don't like pretty woman in cosplay...because I like good looking woman in cosplay, and I don't see it as sexist, because I'm not wearing special glasses that make me an oversensitive sexism is everywhere sorta of person.

[Shibito]

Well, that's YOUR take on it...but don't speak for everyone.
I mean, maybe you're just gay and don't like pretty woman in cosplay...because I like good looking woman in cosplay, and I don't see it as sexist, because I'm not wearing special glasses that make me an oversensitive sexism is everywhere sorta of person.

Wish i could upvote this post by 1 million !

[Deleted]

He does. He plays with them, takes them out places, teaches them important things, etc (he's a father to them). However, when it comes to getting them ready for bed, school, or whatever else, I do those things. Also, with him being in the military, his hours can also be a lot longer than most civilian jobs, so the kids are often times just getting ready for bed when he arrives home.

When they were babies, I did everything, including taking care of them in the middle of the night. I would never ask or expect my husband, who's up at 5 am to do PT, to also care for an infant at night. That's completely unrealistic and unfair.

This is a respectable and mature outlook, and the right way for a family to function in a symbiotic manner

But hey, what do I know, I'm just an anti-feminist lunatic

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

Well, that's YOUR take on it...but don't speak for everyone.
I mean, maybe you're just gay and don't like pretty woman in cosplay...because I like good looking woman in cosplay, and I don't see it as sexist, because I'm not wearing special glasses that make me an oversensitive sexism is everywhere sorta of person.

I also like pretty women in Cosplay...but it's completely unnecessary here...which is what makes people question the motives for including such a picture. I mean, unless that picture is of his actual wife...then I would say if she does housework dressed like that...he should just keep his mouth shut and enjoy it.

[Deleted]

Don't put requirements like that on your SO. You'll come off as an asshole. You should help each other!

With that said... If you're a bit smart about it there's a way to divert most of the chores onto her without causing drama. Got a mountain of dishes? Do them really poorly and take literally forever doing them. I mean incredibly poorly, health hazard poorly. I know it sounds hard but trust me that's the last time you'll do dishes. Same can be applied to vacuuming, laundry, cleaning windows or whatever else you don't fancy doing. Once your household incompetence is established she'll naturally take over the chores you're too bad to do. Don't forget to offer your help once in awhile as it creates the illusion of you being helpful and considerate. She'll put you on something minor that you can't fuck up so there's no need to fear having to do any actual household work. GL!

[Gilbergrape]

That doesn't appear to be the case. He's the one saying she "owes" him an extra 7 hours.

this conversation started because his misses had the opinion he "owes" her. She is the one that is, as someone said, acting immature.
Should he answer the same way? No, of course not. He should realize it's a dead end, not go down on her level, just stop it and leave.

[Archonite]

I think its a bit too black and white to just calculate hours spent at work to figure out how many hours of chores each person has to do. Assuming you want to nitpick like that, you also need to calculate how much each person earns, and how much money they spend. If the wife is happy living in an apartment with just a balcony, but the husband prefers a large villa with a garden, its not fair to have her keep it clean. And if she is making up for the extra hours with chores, you both have to drive an equally expensive car, or share the use of it evenly. I could go on with many ways in which one person might be disadvantaged in a relationship, but tbh its best when you both feel youre getting the better end of the deal. Have the other do stuff you hate, and do stuff for them that they hate. You dont want to end up calculating how many hours of chores you need to do when your wife gets pregnant and has to deal with more than you comparatively.

[Revik]

I am also of the opinion that it is not so cut and dry.
What I think is good to do is that you both agree on what the share of duties are. Things like cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, mowing the lawn, buying groceries, etc. Keep in mind not all duties are equal to every person. One person might love cooking but hate cleaning or prefers cleaning to cooking. Therefore that person would consider one job as being more 'work' than the other. Once that has all been established you can move forward.