Do you ever feel too sexy, that you purposely make yourself less attractive? (Female)

[Deleted]

Doesnt that only happen after the children are all born?

[Deleted]

Meanwhile, unattractive people get the same - only in the form of insults rather than compliments - and they don't get the extremely favorable treatment that comes with being attractive.

I don't think it's quite that simple. Often attractive people will find that they receive very blunt and sometimes negative and very personal comments about some aspects of their appearance in a way that someone who is plain might not. Everyone has imperfections but if someone is, on the whole, on the more aesthetically pleasing side of most people's yardstick it is somehow taken, by some as, a license to mention those "quirks". It's probably a form of "pigtail pulling" in some cases and there is no harm intended in it. But pretty much nobody wants to discuss something they might be self conscious about at the drop of a hat. The people who bring these things up probably do so thinking "they can't possibly be insecure about anything." Truth is most people are in some way unless they are vacuous and vain. It becomes less of an issue the further that you get in to adulthood, not in that the comments stop but that you dgaf anywhere near as much once you have carved out your personal niche in life.

That assumed licence to comment sometimes extends past discussing someone's physical traits. e.g. In my mid 20s I split up with someone because it was clear we were a sometimes explosive combination and after 3 years together we were going to be bad for each other. I was gutted for a couple of years and didn't have a proper relationship with someone else for quite some time. I'd have friends talk openly and bluntly about how it "should be easy for me to find someone." I'd subtly hint, to outright state, that I wasn't ready and that they should drop it. After months of that from the most prolific offender among my mates and on the tail of a "if I had your options..." jibe I dropped that he might not be alone if he lost some weight and didn't get shitfaced everytime he was in a social situation. I got looked at as if I was an insensitive monster because I mentioned something he could address while I'd had countless uncomfortable moments where everyone discussed why I shouldn't be single. It wasn't as if I was being generally miserable over that time other than perhaps the very first months when I mostly avoided people. I was totally fine until it was brought up.

Is life easier if you take a fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down? Probably, not. But just because someone is attractive doesn't mean everything's going wonderfully for them and that they are impervious to shitty over presumptive ideas of how much that actually matters in the grand scheme of things. I can totally understand how an attractive woman might easily choose, or gravitate towards, presenting themselves in a back the fuck off kind of way as I would guess their looks have a way more significant weighting in "who" other people often presume them to be or what their life is actually like.

[Deleted]

They do it because they are wearing more comfortable clothes. There is no hidden agenda here, just being practical.

[hrugner]

Well, apparantly no one likes Mary Sues, who are good at everything and everything. ALl people have flaws, although it would be nice to get away from stereotypical flaws for a change.

I think its important to point those out as a way to keep us humble and to keep jealousy from overflowing. Although media be media and likes to dramatize things.

There's a big difference between being good at everything and having several complimentary positive traits. Characters that are good at everything often have field expertise in too many different things and push other characters out of the story. Essentially, that character shouldn't be sharing scenes with the other characters due to an imbalance of mastery, they should be paired with someone else who is competitively capable. Being smart, healthy, charismatic, attractive and wealthy makes more sense than someone mastering 10 languages, being an ace pilot, master diplomat, inventor and entrepreneur. The traits all work together to build each other up while field mastery takes time and effort. Probably the easiest example is this: If you spend two hours a day on your self you can keep things together pretty well and build on all your traits, but two hours a day won't be enough to keep up with the journals in a single field.

Mary Sues are an even worse sort of thing though. Not only are they good at everything, they obviously don't deserve to be as their ability is not backed up by the narrative.

And of course, sometimes the writing isn't good enough to make your characters distinct, so you give them obvious quirks, flaws and tells to differentiate them. It's the colorful anime hair solution applied to character writing.

[May90]

Why only females? I sometimes have to purposefully make myself less attractive, less I drown in my own sexiness.

[Independent voter]

I make myself less sexy by not showering.

[Celista]

Why only females? I sometimes have to purposefully make myself less attractive, less I drown in my own sexiness.

Damn that sounds oppressive.

[May90]

Damn that sounds oppressive.

And the worst part of it: I am the one oppressing myself!

[RenegadeXan]

Whoop-deee-dooop. A thread addressing girls and what they think and it is overtaken by male opinions....

Simply because less females posts which I find is largely true online, most often male crowded, oh look I'm a biased sexist!

[Jester Joe]

Just asking because the thread title seems to leave ZERO leeway. It is addressed at females. Period. I really don't see what guys can contribute here ...but ofc they do

It's not as if females would never tell a male their own personal opinion.

I could speak for my girlfriend for example, or one of my best friends, since they both tell me things like this. It's still the opinion of a female at that point, but coming from a male.

Although I don't get why the thread should be locked to one gender anyway, either gender can feel "too sexy".

[Witchblade77]

All people are judged based on how they look. Be it positively or negatively. First impressions do matter.

And, having in mind what goes as "Harassment" nowadays, I'm sure it isn't the end of world to get a couple compliments and looks when walking down the street; At least it would be okay if it was from [insert famous actor\sport dude], so I'm sure prettylady#281769 can handle compliments and stares from randomjoes too.

So excuse me for not feeling sad for all that the most attractive people have to go through, as the positives vastly outweigh the few negatives there are.

there is a difference between getting a few compliments or even catcalls and being followed continuously, being touched without your permission by a stranger, etc. words are just words. but it doesn't always stay at words. and when it doesn't - it sucks.

do positives outweight the negatives? sometimes. other times, you end up making yourself look unattractive, because apparently - its the only way you are taken seriously, because people just assume that if you look nice, you have earned nothing in your life and had everything given to you and proceed to treat you accordingly. oh yes. such advantage, such fun.

[Sunseeker]

No, I don't think a girl ever dressed down because someone might accuse her of being a whore and deserving to be raped because she wore the clothes she wanted to wear when she wanted to where she wanted to.

[starlord]

idk about sexy, but i prefer flashier clothing for sure. i have to "dress down" a lot when i go out or else i do get a lot of attention. plus around my current area brown rubber boots and rain ponchos are de rigueur.

[RenegadeXan]

No, I don't think a girl ever dressed down because someone might accuse her of being a whore and deserving to be raped because she wore the clothes she wanted to wear when she wanted to where she wanted to.

uh , totally did.

[Sunseeker]

uh , totally did.

I'm not sure if you caught my sarcastic tone....

[Fenixdown]

Well she refuses me when I tell her to fucking exercise lol. I have 8 grand worth of gym equipment in my garage bitch won't even get on a treadmill.

What a great way to talk about your wife in a form that it can be quoted, and thus, never be deleted.

I actually hope she reads it. I'd buy popcorn for that show. =D

[Fenixdown]

Although I don't get why the thread should be locked to one gender anyway, either gender can feel "too sexy".

Because the OP's trying to bait girls into posting pictures, probably. Who knows. I think the only thread I ever made specific to one gender involved female players playing resto druids (or otherwise healers in general). My thread found way more warriors than I had ever encountered in the game (which in-game was two).

[Witchblade77]

You guys are insane.

Seriously, the level of ridiculousness here.

dealing with the irrational hatred from people who don't fit conventional idea of attractiveness, but its somehow YOUR fault is also a lot of fun. so you are seen as dumb, freeloader AND a bitch. all because you got "lucky" enough in a genetic lottery to fit some standard.

and god forbid you didn't actualy get lucky, but worked like hell for whatever reason to look the way you do - depriving yourself of pleasures others indulge in freely - all to be faced with: "oh you are so lucky to look this way" yep. much fun. such advantage.

[RenegadeXan]

Because the OP's trying to bait girls into posting pictures, probably. Who knows. I think the only thread I ever made specific to one gender involved female players playing resto druids (or otherwise healers in general). My thread found way more warriors than I had ever encountered in the game (which in-game was two).

lol, seriously? never crossed my mind.

[Witchblade77]

Yes, being attractive is such a burden. It makes life so hard.

Are you even reading what you're typing? You're absurd.

you are only proving my point here.

being average looking is the best advantage one has, becasue people stop making assumptions and conclusions about you based on looks and actualy consider the rest of you.