Who pays on a date?

[dextersmith]

Typically I whip out my credit card and we have the usual polite, "I'll get it", "No I'll get it", before we agree to split or take turns paying. If I know there won't be a second date I'll make sure that we split the check.

Is that why you insisted we split dinner?!

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Whoever does the asking.

Although if one side is always doing the asking, I would start thinking about whether the other person is worth it.

I won't let her pay even if she asked me out.

[Spl4sh3r]

It's two options, either the person who asked for the date pays OR both (or in another third option the one who wants to pay for the other). If both are meant to pay you say this upfront because it is polite.

[unbound]

Whoever asked who on a date pays for date. simple as fuck.

This.

/thread

[Turtlewithnoshell]

I don't mind paying a lot of times. I often buy a friends meal when we meet for lunch.

[Laraven]

Hey guys,

This video popped up on my recommended feed and it got my attention. Not all women think this but some women still believe that the man should pay for the dates. It's a backwards way of thinking. It's 2016 women have jobs and should at least pay half if not all. I even heard men say "If a guy cannot afford to pay for the date, he cant afford to be in a relationship". Or my favorite line " Real men pay for their women". Regardless of who asks who, the guy and the girl should split the bill. What do you think?

I would be more apt to go on a second date if the guy paid. If he didn't no big deal, but I prob wouldn't call him back. Tradition, respect, proof of providing...whatever the reason is, It's a good sign if the guy offers to pay for the first date. Though to be clear, I would offer to pay my half. And I would never expect to be supported in a relationship. But if I ever needed to be, it's good to know he can and would. As I would for him. Cheapskates are terrible.

I'm not sure how this works with gay couples? Hmm.

[dextersmith]

Oh I buy things for strangers all the time. See the Video Games Forum right here on MMO-C -- they've received literally thousands of dollars in value of Steam Games from me. However online dating does have its share of people seeking free meals and drinks...so the very first meet should be something that neither side is obligated to pay for the other. Also as the post implies if the two hit it off and choose to turn the meet into a date it should be handled by the person who asked. If you see that as a classless act I don't know what to tell you -- meeting someone and not being able to handle your own cup of coffee could get some awfully mixed reactions.

But it's not a meal or drinks at a club/bar, it's one cup of coffee. Whether they can afford it or not, it's a courteous gesture of kindness.

[dextersmith]

"Hmm, I'm hungry...do I call the chinese place, or Dexter Smith..."

If you want that, Ima need some finesse!

[Nurvus]

Whoever asked who on a date pays for date. simple as fuck.

Except most girls expect men to ask them out.
Funny how it all *cough* balances itself out in the end, hmm?

But all things equal:
- Most situations, half & half
- Expensive date, inviter pays

[Tuesdays]

You invite, you pay.

You get invite they pay.

If you agree on splitting the bill, you split the bill.

Why is this a topic?

[Morssoe]

Men will be horny, and pay for the bills. Women will laugh at men.

[Captain N]

But it's not a meal or drinks at a club/bar, it's one cup of coffee. Whether they can afford it or not, it's a courteous gesture of kindness.

Doesn't matter. If you're showing up to a first meet empty-handed it's going to come across as rude.

Just as a personal anecdote. My first meeting with my wife was a trip to a shoot pool. Before we even met in person she asked if there was a bar inside it. When I told her there was she bought the first round while I paid for the first hour of pool. For both of us it showed that we were both able to take care of ourselves without needing to rely on the other. That's a courteous gesture...

[Lady Dragonheart]

Usually I'm the one that pays, but if the guy speaks up and really wants to pay, I won't hold him back on it. I do enjoy quality food though, so if him paying means that I have to skip out on whatever I desire to eat, then I'd rather just pay myself. I'd say about 70+% of all the dates that I went on, I paid. 10% would be split equally down the middle, 10% would be only paying for your own food, and 10% would be men that wouldn't allow me to pay for whatever reason. Granted, of the margin of men that didn't allow me to pay for myself in some fashion, a few of them expected me to have sex with them because they paid for the food, long after the fact, of course, as well as after I had to be talked out of paying because of whatever his reasons were. *Shrugs*

[Tuesdays]

Because there's still a certain demographic that expects to get all the upsides of courtship and none of the responsibilities.

I guess that says a lot about that person, you could excuse yourself, split the bill on the DL and leave.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Usually I'm the one that pays, but if the guy speaks up and really wants to pay, I won't hold him back on it. I do enjoy quality food though, so if him paying means that I have to skip out on whatever I desire to eat, then I'd rather just pay myself. I'd say about 70+% of all the dates that I went on, I paid. 10% would be split equally down the middle, 10% would be only paying for your own food, and 10% would be men that wouldn't allow me to pay for whatever reason. Granted, of the margin of men that didn't allow me to pay for myself in some fashion, a few of them expected me to have sex with them because they paid for the food, long after the fact, of course, as well as after I had to be talked out of paying because of whatever his reasons were. *Shrugs*

I don't know how anyone can think "Oh I paid, I get sexy time now." >.>

[Tuesdays]

Usually I'm the one that pays, but if the guy speaks up and really wants to pay, I won't hold him back on it. I do enjoy quality food though, so if him paying means that I have to skip out on whatever I desire to eat, then I'd rather just pay myself. I'd say about 70+% of all the dates that I went on, I paid. 10% would be split equally down the middle, 10% would be only paying for your own food, and 10% would be men that wouldn't allow me to pay for whatever reason. Granted, of the margin of men that didn't allow me to pay for myself in some fashion, a few of them expected me to have sex with them because they paid for the food, long after the fact, of course, as well as after I had to be talked out of paying because of whatever his reasons were. *Shrugs*

Sex after dinner is asking a bit too much, or actually moving too fast for my taste, I guess that is why everyone has the herp among other nasty diseases.

[lonely zergling]

Some traditions/ old rules never die apparently.

Just like men are not allowed to hit back when a woman violently attacks them.

[Arthas242]

i won't ever pay for a girls dinner anymore *least not first date, maybe later ones, but i have not gotten that far*

always end up I paying for date so she gets free movie/food/etc and then end up being ignored the whole time trying to start a conversation but no connection happens.....

basically i am jaded from bad experience even though my date experience is limited to only a few.

and i know for a fact one used me for exactly what i said. (other's i just think so)

maybe i am the problem, but i think it is my dates. But at least i have not dated a Feminazi, those poor men who do......i hear to many bad stories about these kind of dates were literally first date the woman is making a list of demands for the perfect male or leave......

[Laraven]

When I read things like this, I'm not really sure if you expect to be taken seriously or not.

What is it your unsure about? I would never go on a second date with a guy who didn't offer to pay for the first date. I don't personally know any guys who would ever ask a women to pay on the first date either. Just the type of men I know, age range, and area I live in I guess. Of course, I have been married forever, so I'm kind of out of the loop on new age dating. But yeah, If a guy asked me to pay for half, no prob. I do this when i go out with friends all the time. And that is what he will be to me a friend.

[dextersmith]

I once asked a girl to go half and half....

When the bill came or before the date? Did you nitpick about how you had water but she ordered the kool-aid? A uni classmate did that. Did she glare at you in disgust before becoming your friend's gf?

[Laraven]

Sure, but your whole post was just doublespeak.

"He needs to pay!

Because he needs to prove he can provide.

But I don't need taking care of.

But he needs to prove he can do it.

I would totally take care of him, though!

But I don't need to prove it to anyone for reasons.

Also he needs to show respect by paying.

But I don't.

Also, cheapskates are terrible.

But I wouldn't date anyone who wouldn't let me be one."



I mean, why not just say, "I don't want to pay for dates" instead of running in circles trying to convince people that there's some deeper reason?

Ohh I see, You're going to go off about equal rights/treatment and stuff. Yeah, have fun with that. LOL