is she playing me?

[Celista]

Today the excuse was, "my messages ain't sent to u from yesterday lols", I mean, fuckinel' rly haha? I had no reaction told her "no worries " and left it at that. Then she sends me a text saying I have an ump with her and didn't bother replying. That and I was in town getting some jeans and later watching GER vs SVK footie (Draxler is immense). Then she sent me bunch of WhatsApp messages tell me she hates when I have the "ump" (which I dont, well had few times but now I dont care) with her every 5 minutes to the point she dosnt wanna talk to me. I personally don't care and just brush it off with 1 liners.

Then sends me some quite about "when girls say they dont mind their man checking out other girls" blah blah...

I do make a joke out of a lot of things but I hate tension :3

You sound super high strung.

I hope you're cute because if you're getting this butthurt about messages then you're not going to get anywhere with women. Also, don't act like this when you're 30.

[Mister K]

ignore her completely, other then hello's at work, dont be a stalker man

Yeah sometimes I had to stop myself because it was getting to the point of stalking, luckily brain kicked in.

But it's hard, she sends me messages why I am being so blunt etc. Hell she sent me a message saying "I miss you" today lol... I guess that might be the only solution tho :/

- - - Updated - - -

You sound super high strung.

I hope you're cute because if you're getting this butthurt about messages then you're not going to get anywhere with women. Also, don't act like this when you're 30.

High Strung as in? Having a strop or acting strangely? I only know of "strung" as drugged (our slang heh).

I am trying to be more Alpha. Last time I said I am the Alpha Wolf Male and some girls was like na you a puppey. I mean I am trying to become a fearless, fiersome Alpha... urg >.> and now I need glasses as well. My geeky hipster look will be complete.

But yeah you are right, live and learn. My father was pretty controlling/jealous type and I am trying to work on not being so. I don't usually try and show it, but things are on my mind all the time.

[Sykol]

You know how like in every MOBA or FPS, people will always tell you "don't chase"? It applies to real life, too. You want to, but it's the wrong decision 99% of the time, especially when you can see they're blatantly trying to lure you.

And knock it off with that alpha bullshit, unless you want to be guzzling Monster and wearing Tapout shirts well into your 40s.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

You sound super high strung.

I hope you're cute because if you're getting this butthurt about messages then you're not going to get anywhere with women. Also, don't act like this when you're 30.

Everyone has different patience levels(Not necessarily justifying it but it can be frustrating)

[Mister K]

You know how like in every MOBA or FPS, people will always tell you "don't chase"? It applies to real life, too. You want to, but it's the wrong decision 99% of the time, especially when you can see they're blatantly trying to lure you.

Urgh, yep and I am the one that keeps chasing (dw I don't feed )

[Celista]

High Strung as in? Having a strop or acting strangely? I only know of "strung" as drugged (our slang heh).

I am trying to be more Alpha. Last time I said I am the Alpha Wolf Male and some girls was like na you a puppey. I mean I am trying to become a fearless, fiersome Alpha... urg >.> and now I need glasses as well. My geeky hipster look will be complete.

You care WAAAAAAAY too fucking much about what this girl texts and when she texts you back, even when she says she has things like work commitments. Some people don't live 24/7 on their phones, and even if they do that doesn't mean they have the time or desire to talk to you 24/7.

She's sending you a fuck ton of messages, you are overthinking things, ask her to hang out again and if she says no stop wasting your time. Constant texting back and forth is the ultimate time waster, your objective is to get laid/have a relationship/whatever your goal may be, not have a texting buddy.

Also stop reading shit about being an Alpha male warrior because you are failing at it. Or read more of it. One of the two.

[Mister K]

Everyone has different patience levels(Not necessarily justifying it but it can be frustrating)

When you know the person well and have good connection than it puts you on ease and know you can fully trust them. In my case (not to making excuses) I don't wanna invest into something that I already see being strange.

Which answers my question, do not chase and let it go. Maybe in 2-3 years time if we both single (I am not planning to be, its a long time) we can see how it would go. That's what I've been told by few mates, play the long game and I didn't listen...

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Well...I tried. Oh well...

[Orcs]

Sounds to me, she ain't gonna bang you. Nor the other guy or two she's fuckin' with.

[Mister K]

You care WAAAAAAAY too fucking much about what this girl texts and when she texts you back, even when she says she has things like work commitments. Some people don't live 24/7 on their phones, and even if they do that doesn't mean they have the time or desire to talk to you 24/7.

She's sending you a fuck ton of messages, you are overthinking things, ask her to hang out again and if she says no stop wasting your time. Constant texting back and forth is the ultimate time waster, your objective is to get laid/have a relationship/whatever your goal may be, not have a texting buddy.

Also stop reading shit about being an Alpha male warrior because you are failing at it. Or read more of it. One of the two.

Yeh I do, odly she really does live on her phone 24/7 but that's besides the point and yeh I completely understand that. Everyone needs space, specially if you see them a lot in the first place.

Yeh, I literary spent texting like 30mins-1hr with her few times. Few days ago I even forgot to order my Chinese (wasn't cooking, cbaed) so toast it was. I do overthink a lot of shit, My mind - it's my worst enemy.

I was kidding, well to an extent. I like to be the geeky dad, not mucho man hehe (Phil from Modern Family anyone?). But do work on myself (fashion, sports, mechanics, taking charge) but yeh no. Oh god, I even watched some AlphaM videos on Youtube (about leather jackets).

Sorry rambling on now

Well...I tried. Oh well...

huh?

[Shadowspire]

Don't talk to her anymore. She's young, you are young,mbut you at least seem like you've grown out of the "playing games" route of dating, so while it's going to make her feel bad, tell her you like her and don't want to play any games like this either date or stop with the flirting if not talking all together.

[Mister K]

Don't talk to her anymore. She's young, you are young,mbut you at least seem like you've grown out of the "playing games" route of dating, so while it's going to make her feel bad, tell her you like her and don't want to play any games like this either date or stop with the flirting if not talking all together.

Ok, I think that's the best route. Il keep it friendly and not rude and channel my mind elsewhere. As people said and the common saying goes, plenty of fish in the sea.

Il let this thread slowly die anyway, I think I got the general idea. Once again thanks.

[Celista]

Yeh I do, odly she really does live on her phone 24/7 but that's besides the point and yeh I completely understand that. Everyone needs space, specially if you see them a lot in the first place.

Yeh, I literary spent texting like 30mins-1hr with her few times. Few days ago I even forgot to order my Chinese (wasn't cooking, cbaed) so toast it was. I do overthink a lot of shit, My mind - it's my worst enemy.

I was kidding, well to an extent. I like to be the geeky dad, not mucho man hehe (Phil from Modern Family anyone?). But do work on myself (fashion, sports, mechanics, taking charge) but yeh no. Oh god, I even watched some AlphaM videos on Youtube (about leather jackets).

Sorry rambling on now

It's a common mistake dudes make...I honestly don't think women are being malicious when they text you all day and expect you to reply (regardless of her intentions to date you or not), I know men who do it too...it's just how they operate, they have the time and energy to chat all day and don't think twice about wasting someone else's time.

Try cutting back on the texting (by a lot), apologize and say you've been busy at work/gym/whatever. Then ask her if she wants to hang out. Pay attention to how she answers, it's important that you do not try to pursue her more if she is not interested after you pull back. Depending on her interest level, she'll either fade or she'll decide that she wants to hang out after all; texting all day (in my opinion) will get you nowhere. Spend that time and energy sending introductory texts to other women, asking them if they want to meet up for drinks etc.

If you are a high strung type then it is even more important that you spread your energy out towards talking with/meeting multiple women. It will increase your chances of success at dating, and you'll feel better/less needy for it. That's not to say that you should waste time talking to women you're not interested in, just keep looking until you find another woman that you are interested in as well. At least, until you get to a point with a woman that the two of you agree to have a committed relationship (aka waaay after one date).

Sounds like you're fading out of the thread but good luck.

[THE Bigzoman]

It's a common mistake dudes make...I honestly don't think women are being malicious when they text you all day and expect you to reply (regardless of her intentions to date you or not), I know men who do it too...it's just how they operate, they have the time and energy to chat all day and don't think twice about wasting someone else's time.

Try cutting back on the texting (by a lot), apologize and say you've been busy at work/gym/whatever. Then ask her if she wants to hang out. Pay attention to how she answers, it's important that you do not try to pursue her more if she is not interested after you pull back. Depending on her interest level, she'll either fade or she'll decide that she wants to hang out after all; texting all day (in my opinion) will get you nowhere. Spend that time and energy sending introductory texts to other women, asking them if they want to meet up for drinks etc.

If you are a high strung type then it is even more important that you spread your energy out towards talking with/meeting multiple women. It will increase your chances of success at dating, and you'll feel better/less needy for it. That's not to say that you should waste time talking to women you're not interested in, just keep looking until you find another woman that you are interested in as well. At least, until you get to a point with a woman that the two of you agree to have a committed relationship (aka waaay after one date).

Sounds like you're fading out of the thread but good luck.

OP.


Listen to Celestia.

Please.

I was going to write a much more candid post that advises exactly this.

[ItachiZaku]

I think that's just the way the girls are. They'll always come up with some bullshit (mom taking her phone, someone is dying etc.). They don't want to say no but they don't want to say yes either.

Yep, that's a big thing with chicks that age. I deal with quite a few of them and they can sometimes be easy to fall for.

to the OP, chicks like this are the type you live in the moment with. If you are at a party and have the opportunity, do your thing. If not, don't sweat it. They have many more options than you do, and if you try too hard, it'll only push'em away. They come running when they think they aren't your #1 option. Sad, but true.

- - - Updated - - -

Maybe in 2-3 years time if we both single (I am not planning to be, its a long time) we can see how it would go.

Just stop it. Really. There will be 4 dozens girls between now and then. Just. Stop. Yeah, it sucks when you get attached to someone like that, but you just have to stop it.

[Septik]

your post came off as something a gay man still in the closet would write.

are you sure you like women?

[Kaganfindel]

She sounds like a teenager who hasn't got her shit together yet. She's 18, and just out of a three year relationship (which was juvenile at best, and deeply unhealthy at worst,) and on top of that her percept for a loving relationship is damaged, so if you're expecting anything monogamous and healthy, you're expecting something that's not developmentally appropriate for her.

Back off, whether you want to pursue a relationship with her or not. She's got some work to do on her own life before she's fit to start anything serious with you, and you can't make her do it. Wait for her or don't, but don't chase her.

[Sierra85]

your post came off as something a gay man still in the closet would write.

are you sure you like women?

bit judgemental septik. not every straight man is 100% the same.

[Dug]

Pro tip: Even at 22 (same age), don't date people who are still in the teens or rather, just turned 18.

[Rascal Bob]

If you have to ask yourself "is she playing me" then something is probably not right.

I'm not really sure that age is that much of a factor, some girls are really mature and some seem bipolar where they go from liking to hating you in an instant.