Planing on leaving my family but I am worried about them hounding me.

[Goradan]

Hey all. I rarely do or want to talk about my problems as we all have them. But recently because I have to deal with bullshit from my dad and I am planning on leaving his place because all of the fighting I have with him and my brother is total and utter bullshit. I have done my own crap in the past, like failing my school tests and being a lazy asshole with an Know-it-all attitude, but now I want to move on but I don't want them to know I am leaving because they are control freaks and I frankly don't know my way around the world but it's a risk I need to take because if I don't, I will be stuck in the same loop the rest of my life.

I am sick and tired of hearing the same bull about this, and that. to hear about my failures. I want get on with my own life and make amends for my mistakes and be a better person. However my concern is not so much about leaving. it's more about how to stop my family to prevent me from leaving because My dad is a bipolar asshole that likes to threaten with court cases and calling the police so I was planning on telling the cops that after I leave to stop him from finding me. Because he is stuck in the past about the divorce from my mother and other shit I can't focus on doing my own work and I just want to turn over a new leaf in my life and be happy.

Anyone got suggestions on how to deal with this?

[Azadina]

Why would you care about empty threats of court cases or calling the police? Unless you've done something that warrants the concern.

Move on and tell them to leave you alone.

[Ghostpanther]

Well, I was 17 and not happy with my home situation, so I joined the Army. One of the best decisions ever. Not sure if you have that option or not. But it gave me a secure place to sleep, food, some income , etc. Also taught me discipline.

[zenkai]

Hey all. I rarely do or want to talk about my problems as we all have them. But recently because I have to deal with bullshit from my dad and I am planning on leaving his place because all of the fighting I have with him and my brother is total and utter bullshit. I have done my own crap in the past, like failing my school tests and being a lazy asshole with an Know-it-all attitude, but now I want to move on but I don't want them to know I am leaving because they are control freaks and I frankly don't know my way around the world but it's a risk I need to take because if I don't, I will be stuck in the same loop the rest of my life.

I am sick and tired of hearing the same bull about this, and that. to hear about my failures. I want get on with my own life and make amends for my mistakes and be a better person. However my concern is not so much about leaving. it's more about how to stop my family to prevent me from leaving because My dad is a bipolar asshole that likes to threaten with court cases and calling the police so I was planning on telling the cops that after I leave to stop him from finding me. Because he is stuck in the past about the divorce from my mother and other shit I can't focus on doing my own work and I just want to turn over a new leaf in my life and be happy.

Anyone got suggestions on how to deal with this?

They don't have restraining orders where you live?

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Well, I was 17 and not happy with my home situation, so I joined the Army. One of the best decisions ever. Not sure if you have that option or not. But it gave me a secure place to sleep, food, some income , etc. Also taught me discipline.

Army - Ain't Ready for Marines Yet j/k my Brother is in the Army I tease him with that

[nacixems]

Find a place, slowly move items out. then make one big move, leaving a note. im gone, dont look for me, im grownup. if they find you, call the cops.

[Piglord]

If you are considered an adult where you live then just leave. Keep in mind, don't expect to take anything with you unless you can prove that you bought it.

[Ghostpanther]

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Army - Ain't Ready for Marines Yet j/k my Brother is in the Army I tease him with that

Hehe. I wanted to be a tank driver. Really liked driving one of those. And I do not think I could have handled the Marines. I was only 17, 5' 8" tall and weigh 128. Got out at 5' 10" and 164. I kid you not, I grew 2 inches and gained 36 pounds. lol. Was living a very poor life, with a lack of good food and often, not enough of it.

[markos82]

How old are you? If you are an adult by your country standards you can do what ever you want --- move out. If you are not you can ask a legal emancipation i guess.

[Mad_Murdock]

Well, I was 17 and not happy with my home situation, so I joined the Army. One of the best decisions ever. Not sure if you have that option or not. But it gave me a secure place to sleep, food, some income , etc. Also taught me discipline.

Not totally in the same boat has Ghostpanther, I was 18 and college wasn't going to be an option and living at home wasn't a remote desire. Home life wasn't bad, I just wanted to taste the sweet sweet freedom of being on my own. So I too joined the Army and while I didn't care for it that much, it got me out in the world to succeed and fail on my own and it was a great decision.

If military isn't an option, I'd would just recommend that you plan out your departure, and not be rash about it, but at the same time give yourself a date and unless things go completely sideways, stick to the date. Try to leave on good terms, as sometimes life hands you a giant F--K you card and you might find yourself in need of a little help.

Maybe look into something like joining the Peace Corp. They'll get you out, though the location you end up might not be ideal. It will give you a chance to grow on your own and maybe earn you some respect at home

[Independent voter]

Doesn't Denmark have 100% welfare? Just go to the government office, they'll give you a free apartment and like $1,000 a month spending money.

[Will]

So the marines are basically heavyweight boxers? I didn't know you had to be a certain mass or height to join. That kind of rules most people out doesn't it? Hell, I would have thought being more nimble would have its advantages, the most obvious being a lower profile and therefore a harder target for the enemy to hit.

[Goradan]

Why would you care about empty threats of court cases or calling the police? Unless you've done something that warrants the concern.

Move on and tell them to leave you alone.

True. But I am more worried about harassment. there is reason for them to chase me, especially when he has threaten to kick me out. in fact I ran away twice because a one point to shut him up, and both time he cried out of "worry" normally I would feel sorry and guilty but when he behaves so erratic i find more self-centered than anything. Also Normal people would have gotten the message but both my dad and my "intelligent" brother would get it unless I take drastic measures for a simple thing.

[Will]

they have every right to control you to some extent so they can set your life straight because they care for you.

And how would you know his family cares for him? Plenty of families neglect their offspring. I get the impression they're just putting him down and blasting his dreams apart, but like you, I don't know the full story. For the record I've been to psychiatrists too and they pretty much did sweet F/A.

[Goradan]

Doesn't Denmark have 100% welfare? Just go to the government office, they'll give you a free apartment and like $1,000 a month spending money.

true that is the good thing about the country. that is why I said planing to leave them is not a problem.

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They don't have restraining orders where you live?

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Army - Ain't Ready for Marines Yet j/k my Brother is in the Army I tease him with that

They do but I don't want to waste any of my life, time and money on that jackass, because his feeling are hurt.

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Well, I was 17 and not happy with my home situation, so I joined the Army. One of the best decisions ever. Not sure if you have that option or not. But it gave me a secure place to sleep, food, some income , etc. Also taught me discipline.

Haha I rejected because I had eczema but I doubt I could got there, plus I do and don't feel like joining up for the sake of the discipline, glad it worked for me .

[Azadina]

True. But I am more worried about harassment. there is reason for them to chase me, especially when he has threaten to kick me out. in fact I ran away twice because a one point to shut him up, and both time he cried out of "worry" normally I would feel sorry and guilty but when he behaves so erratic i find more self-centered than anything. Also Normal people would have gotten the message but both my dad and my "intelligent" brother would get it unless I take drastic measures for a simple thing.

You can get restraining orders placed on them if they keep harassing you, despite you moving away and telling them to leave you alone.

[zenkai]

true that is the good thing about the country. that is why I said planing to leave them is not a problem.

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They do but I don't want to waste any of my life, time and money on that jackass, because his feeling are hurt.

So if you 2 choices

1. Let them continually harass you
or
2. Fill out a legal document making it illegal for them to harass you

You chose 1 because "They do but I don't want to waste any of my life, time and money on that jackass, because his feeling are hurt"

Maybe you shouldn't move out yet...

[Goradan]

And how would you know his family cares for him? Plenty of families neglect their offspring. I get the impression they're just putting him down and blasting his dreams apart, but like you, I don't know the full story. For the record I've been to psychiatrists too and they pretty much did sweet F/A.

Fuck that, I don't like the whole Idea that your parents have control over you even when you are an adult. straight up My parents apart from giving money, are full of shit, sad but true. The worse part this that I promised to do better but all they care about is a certificate, not about my happiness or the hobbits I enjoy. My elder brother does take some interest but he is a domineering prick and I don't want to be near the fucker, especially after he attacked me once because I was in a bad mood and tired, and then on the day after when I was pissed at him and ignored him, punched me in the face for having every right to be angry, so ever since I have stayed the fuck away from him and most of the time he rants about me doing something it's less about worrying about me and more about using me as a verbal punching bag.

I am no saint but I don't want to hear the same shit from people that demand I move one and yet they stuck in the past and being an obstacle in my path.

[vindicatorx]

Anyone got suggestions on how to deal with this?

How old are you? I'm guessing under 18. If you are under 18 you are stuck unless you get a judge declaring you independant because your parents are responsible for you until you are 18. If over 18 your dad can't really say shit can he? So, I would suck it up and deal with it as running away from problems isn't really going to help you out anyway.

[Goradan]

So if you 2 choices

1. Let them continually harass you
or
2. Fill out a legal document making it illegal for them to harass you

You chose 1 because "They do but I don't want to waste any of my life, time and money on that jackass, because his feeling are hurt"

Maybe you shouldn't move out yet...

hahaha, I am tired of choice 1 so yet choice 2 it is because otherwise I wouldn't have posted this here.

[Mad_Murdock]

So the marines are basically heavyweight boxers? I didn't know you had to be a certain mass or height to join. That kind of rules most people out doesn't it? Hell, I would have thought being more nimble would have its advantages, the most obvious being a lower profile and therefore a harder target for the enemy to hit.

That's what the Marines would like everyone to think. I was at the Pentagon, which has a mix of all branches. Plenty of dorky Marines there. My Two cents is that Marines are just much more focused on discipline. If you already have solid discipline you may find the marines not all that challenge. If you have terrible discipline, you will be in for a rough ride.

Even inside the Army, the degrees of discipline swing polar opposites. Pentagon life was a very casual 9-5 job, PT on your own time, contractors for the Mess hall cooks, cleaning staff for the barracks. Compare that to someone who is in Airborne Infantry and it's night and day.