Relationship problems

[Nyoken]

I don't know what it's like to love someone but learn to control your emotions and that shit is gonna go away eventually.

[Jotaux]

I understand that, but does anyone think it is possible to keep this story up to both sides for a long while ? Well with my GF the only lie is the fact that I don't really love her.. otherwise everything is fine.

Um, you've been seeing another girl, I think that falls under lie by omission.

[Celista]

Um, you've been seeing another girl, I think that falls under lie by omission.

Also cheating.

[zenkai]

That would be a very hard thing to do emotionally and even then, the girl I want to be with thinks I have been single for years, how would I explain a kid suddenly ? Also I have been unemployed for a long time. How would I pay child support ?

Why would you think it was a good idea to have a child when you are unemployed? If you're lying to the girl you love, you don't love her, you love yourself.

[Deleted]

Wait, wait, wait. Which one thinks you're employed? The new one or both?

I've done some shady shit in my days I am not proud of and not recommend to anyone, but nothing as bad as this

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As the gambler said to himself in the bathroom mirror after puking: "Go for it dude! You are already in so deep that anything positive you can get out of it now is profit!"

My current GF knows I am unemployed .. ofc she does, I live with her... the one I love thinks I work..

[Celista]

Wait, wait, wait. Which one thinks you're employed? The new one or both?

He's lied to the new one.

I wonder how big the lie is, maybe she thinks he's a surgeon or something.

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Okay, I've given it some thought. OP should tell his current gf that he is actually a dormant CIA operative who has been "activated" to go on a mission. He should tell the second woman that he's a travelling salesman, and he's broke because of a tragic drug addiction.





Serious answer: OP you hate your life and you're trying to escape it by creating a fantasy life with another person. Please go to therapy before you fuck things up even worse than you already have.

[Dug]

My current GF knows I am unemployed .. ofc she does, I live with her... the one I love thinks I work..

Lol OP I really don't like insulting people but man dude you're something else. Keep this up and neither will be with you and you'll be left alone, unemployed and probably homeless

[Deleted]

He's lied to the new one.

I wonder how big the lie is, maybe she thinks he's a surgeon or something.

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Okay, I've given it some thought. OP should tell his current gf that he is actually a dormant CIA operative who has been "activated" to go on a mission. He should tell the second woman that he's a travelling salesman, and he's broke because of a tragic drug addiction.

I told her I work as IT professional in a pharmaceutical company. I know a lot about computers so as soon as I talk about data centers and routers I already sound "intellectual" to her. But no, I did not say I was something really unbelievable like a athlete or doctor or anything I don't really know stuff about..

[Ratyrel]

My advice is to not overrate being in love. I know it's a wonderful feeling, but chances are it will go away after a few months to a year or two. If you've been together 14 years that's as good as it gets. Pause to look back on it and appreciate all the good things it has given you. Finally, if you like children (and seeing as the other woman also has a child, I assume you do) your relationship will change anyway when raising a child together, as it will make you a family with a common goal.

In short, end the facebook relationship and don't tell your pregnant girlfriend about it, just try to move on and look forward to what's coming for you two.

[TexasRules]

Hello

I (37 years old) am going to make this short, it is complicated enough... I have been together with a girl I like but not love for about 14 years. I knew I never loved her but I never expected to find someone else and it was/is convenient and easy. Thing is, a few months ago we decided to go for a child. She is about 3 months pregnant now. The thing is, through Facebook I came into contact with a girl I knew from high school, we met a few times (my GF doesn't know of course) and for the first time in my life I actually feel love. I only seen her 3 times now but we kissed. She also has a 6 year old daughter from a previous relationship. She thinks I am alone.

I do not know what to do now. I got my child coming in a few months from the girl I spend 10+ years with but not love but fell in love with a girl that has a child from someone else and thinks I am single. She is talking to me that for now she won't say anything to her daughter because she will do that when she is really sure it will work out between us. Because it would be more difficult for her to understand a new daddy is coming in her life. But while for the first time I felt real love, I am also so sad lately. I feel like I am disappointing both now (even if neither know at this point). My girlfriend that doesn't know I never loved her and now we have a child ... AND the girl I love is so serious with me and is so honest and wants to "involve her daughter" with me so when the time comes we both decide to move forward it will be easier on the child..

What should I do?

Thanks for the laugh. You are asking a video game forum to help you decide what to do in real life. Thank you

[Deleted]

He's lied to the new one.

I wonder how big the lie is, maybe she thinks he's a surgeon or something.

Thats an easy fix.

"Surgeon?? Nah, you must've heard me wrong. I was applying as a Sturgeon at the city aquarium!... Those preggo hormones and your hearing..."

[Kantalope]

I don't mind insulting people. OP, you're a piece of shit.

[Jotaux]

Thanks for the laugh. You are asking a video game forum to help you decide what to do in real life. Thank you

Well, better here than wherever else he was going to for advice.

[Essex99]

That would be a very hard thing to do emotionally and even then, the girl I want to be with thinks I have been single for years, how would I explain a kid suddenly ? Also I have been unemployed for a long time. How would I pay child support ?

You are the reason Trump will be President and the world as we know it is going to end.

[Bushtuckrman]

Well you fucked right up OP. But don't listen to these salty replies from a bunch of Millennials. YOU need to weigh up the pros and cons of leaving her in this state. You have to weigh up the benefits of moving out while having to pay child support for the next 18 years. In the end mate you need to live for your own happiness, not for others so leave if you need to but its the cost of child support and missing out on both the good and the bad of raising a child. Good luck OP.

[Celista]

I told her I work as IT professional in a pharmaceutical company. I know a lot about computers so as soon as I talk about data centers and routers I already sound "intellectual" to her. But no, I did not say I was something really unbelievable like a athlete or doctor or anything I don't really know stuff about..

See the edit in that post. Do you have some sort of clinical depression?

I know you THINK you love this woman (that you have only seen three times) but really this is about your discontent in your own life/freaking out about being a parent. Which is why you are lying so much about it.

I bet before the new girl came along you were always dreaming about moving to Europe and playing in a band or something similar. You're just looking for an escape route instead of trying to fix your life.

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Well you fucked right up OP. But don't listen to these salty replies from a bunch of Millennials.

Sounds to me like the Millennials in this thread have better sense than the OP.

[Deleted]

A cunning retort.

Don't feel too bad about it, now.

[Dug]

Well you fucked right up OP. But don't listen to these salty replies from a bunch of Millennials. YOU need to weigh up the pros and cons of leaving her in this state. You have to weigh up the benefits of moving out while having to pay child support for the next 18 years. In the end mate you need to live for your own happiness, not for others so leave if you need to but its the cost of child support and missing out on both the good and the bad of raising a child. Good luck OP.

Except there are no pros in this scenario, he leaves his wife who supports him (he's unemployed) and goes with a new woman who he's been lying to about being employed and single. There are only cons and he dug his own grave. But you could always just fuck off towards the both of them and start fresh. But y'know, gonna be hard to pay child support when you're unemployed...

[Celista]

Except there are no pros in this scenario, he leaves his wife who supports him (he's unemployed) and goes with a new woman who he's been lying to about being employed and single. There are only cons and he dug his own grave. But you could always just fuck off towards the both of them and start fresh. But y'know, gonna be hard to pay child support when you're unemployed...

All I know is that, if some woman has been taking care of some dude who has been unemployed for years and decided to have a child with him, that's she is definitely in love with this man. And the OP doesn't deserve her.

[Deleted]

Except there are no pros in this scenario, he leaves his wife who supports him (he's unemployed) and goes with a new woman who he's been lying to about being employed and single. There are only cons and he dug his own grave. But you could always just fuck off towards the both of them and start fresh. But y'know, gonna be hard to pay child support when you're unemployed...

The easiest way for me is just to live the lie, drop the new girl (which, again, is not entirely new, I knew her when I was young and rediscovered her now).. and raise my own child.. My brain knows this is the easiest route. It is just that my heart feels something I never felt before for the new girl and it is hard to suddenly go "sorry but I am gone, don't try to talk to me anymore" to her. She is pretty, she is nice and honest to me, she is willing to make me the daddy of her daughter.

So in a way, she is EVERYTHING I want in life. If I wasn't attached to my pregnant GF.