Don’t Blame Divorce on Money. Ask: Did the Husband Have a Job?

[Jonnusthegreat]

If an all-knowing (or semi all-knowing) being told you that you had either a 99 or 99.8 percent chance of being hit by a bus today, would that 0.8 percent difference influence whether or not you left the house?

No. If this same being told me I had a 0.0001% or a 0.8001% chance of being hit by a bus, it would DEFINITELY influence my choice. Do you really not understand the differences in these scenarios?

[Celista]

I haven't worked in 2 weeks and my sister got a full time job during that time period. The resentment is almost palpable, funny how she forgets how I supported everyone for the last 5 years. It makes me sad.

I know a guy who graduated from a top university that was looking for work in his field for nearly two years, this was during the economic recession though and he was older when he graduated. (32...was in the military before returning to school).

Economy is better now but finding a non-crappy job takes time, keep at it.

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@Jonnusthegreat

You're seriously telling me that you would leave the house for a 0 percent chance of being hit by a bus, but you'd stay home for a less than 1 percent chance of being hit by a bus?

Just wondering, do you ever leave the house?

[Jayburner]

I know a guy who graduated from a top university that was looking for work in his field for nearly two years, this was during the economic recession though and he was older when he graduated. (32...was in the military before returning to school).

Economy is better now but finding a non-crappy job takes time, keep at it.

I have a good job..just a slow period because of the time of year. I just don't understand women.

[Celista]

I have a good job..just a slow period because of the time of year. I just don't understand women.

Well you get drunk and hit on 21 year old women in bars, women half your age who hang out in bars are not in a relationship mindset.

[Jonnusthegreat]

I know a guy who graduated from a top university that was looking for work in his field for nearly two years, this was during the economic recession though and he was older when he graduated. (32...was in the military before returning to school).

Economy is better now but finding a non-crappy job takes time, keep at it.

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@Jonnusthegreat

You're seriously telling me that you would leave the house for a 0 percent chance of being hit by a bus, but you'd stay home for a less than 1 percent chance of being hit by a bus?

Just wondering, do you ever leave the house?

My god, you would leave the house if you had a 1% chance of living? Scary! You would also leave the house if you had a 1 in 125 chance of dying? Still scary! That's like you wouldn't even care if 2.4 million Americans died by buses today, worth the risk!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relati...and_difference

[Deleted]

... This is a Harvard study? Really?
Let me help you Harvard

Yes, financial problems can put a strain on a relationship and your personal well-being.
Yes, this can cause a marriage to break up.

I hope this has helped, next time ask before spending god-knows-how much money on a study like this.

Sincerely, Every Person In The World Who Has Ever Been In A Relationship Ever

Only a few years ago they found out that women can't drink as much alcohol as men. Mind BLOWN.

Well, it's not so much just "women" as it is the set of gender roles in our society.

If you're a girl, you're kinda told from an early age that your options are open. You can have a career if you want, or you can just work a little when you want, or you can just not work a day in your life period. Some options are harder than others, but society will generally accept them all.

If you're a boy, you're told that your duty is to get a job as soon as you're able, never stop working, support everyone around you, and keep going until you're dead. The idea of a man being unemployed is almost completely taboo in our society, and no one will step in to pick up your slack if you falter, get injured, get sick, or whatever. They'll all just turn and walk away.

Sometimes it is good to live in Europe.

[Witchblade77]

Women have been lazy at home for thousands of years without jobs.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked:

“What happened here today?’”

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, ‘”Well, today I didn’t do it.”

but seriously speaking, for thousands of years we didn't have all the things that make our lives easier and chores faster. women worked as hard if not harder than men. they just didn't get a salary for it.

[Deleted]

but seriously speaking, for thousands of years we didn't have all the things that make our lives easier and chores faster. women worked as hard if not harder than men. they just didn't get a salary for it.

Did you have to add "if not harder"? This topic is enough of a mess already without someone comparing apples and pears.

On topic: being unemployed sucks, both for the person in question and the partner (depending on the reason ofcourse), so I can see how long-term unemployment increases the chance of a divorce. But it was already pointed out that the average period of unemployment in the US is 27.7 weeks, a period that is far from long and shouldn't put a strain on your relationship unless you lie on the couch all day eating snacks out of your belly button.

[Witchblade77]

Did you have to add "if not harder"? This topic is enough of a mess already without someone comparing apples and pears.

On topic: being unemployed sucks, both for the person in question and the partner (depending on the reason ofcourse), so I can see how long-term unemployment increases the chance of a divorce. But it was already pointed out that the average period of unemployment in the US is 27.7 weeks, a period that is far from long and shouldn't put a strain on your relationship unless you lie on the couch all day eating snacks out of your belly button.

yes i did have to add it. becasue in many cases, once the husband was home - their day was done, while wife had to continue working.

but that is not the point. the point is something I made several pages ago in this thread. its not the status of employment per se. its not being on the same page about it for both spouses.

[Witchblade77]

One of the more epic myths that has been passed around.

yeah, you keep telling yourself that. the only people who keep considering it a myth, are people who don't consider household care and childcare - work. even though you can literally hire people to do that for you, if you don't want to do it yourself.

[Kathandira]

You can "literally hire" someone to have sex with you, too. Just because you can hire someone to do something doesn't make it the hardest thing in the world.

Not to mention that the fact that it's "work" isn't relevant to the claim that somehow men just come home from work and do nothing, but their wives are working 24/7.

I feel there is a confusion here between past and present tense.

[Deleted]

yeah, you keep telling yourself that. the only people who keep considering it a myth, are people who don't consider household care and childcare - work. even though you can literally hire people to do that for you, if you don't want to do it yourself.

So let's say I consider that a myth, but I don't consider household care non-work. What does that make me?
You are not gonna tell me that for the duration of human existence men came home from working, dropped everything and didn't lift a finger, for most of those 100.000 years? Might be strawmanning here, but this is based on assumptions about what household work is, it's such a broad term that encompasses so much.

[Zenfoldor]

It's mostly just not watching laziness ^^

Do housewives have real jobs, and if so, are they easy jobs?

I just can't recall a woman being called lazy for choosing not to work.

ETA: Just to condense it all down "Are women who don't work lazy too?"

[mizeri]

i have no issues with only one person working, the issue comes when they have kids, and that low paying job just cant support all those bills

[Captain N]

i have no issues with only one person working, the issue comes when they have kids, and that low paying job just cant support all those bills

Based on the study of 51% of American Workers make less than $30,000/year - (http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-1...ess-30000-year) and that 71% of all American Workers make less than $50,000/year means that most households need both parents working in order to cover those bills.

That being said with more income also comes more bills -- Child care services, higher grocery bills, and clothing costs are just a few. A majority of Americans simply can't exist without dual incomes if they have children.

[Mistame]

yeah, you keep telling yourself that. the only people who keep considering it a myth, are people who don't consider household care and childcare - work. even though you can literally hire people to do that for you, if you don't want to do it yourself.

All I get from this is that I should find someone do my housework. /shrug

[Celista]

My god, you would leave the house if you had a 1% chance of living? Scary! You would also leave the house if you had a 1 in 125 chance of dying? Still scary! That's like you wouldn't even care if 2.4 million Americans died by buses today, worth the risk!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relati...and_difference

I'm not sure what this rant is about; I'll just assume you're trying to reframe the argument since you were clearly wrong. Cute but ineffective.

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I myself was a victim of divorce because of money. My ex-wife wanted a divorce expecting she could have half my money. I did not mention that she already signed a prenuptial agreement.

I divorced her the moment she hired a lawyer to settle.

But what do I have to complain about. I am already a US citizen which was my goal from this marriage.

So you were both using one another? Great.

Maybe try becoming a citizen based on your own merit instead of some sham marriage.

[Spectral]

So you were both using one another? Great.

Maybe try becoming a citizen based on your own merit instead of some sham marriage.

By observation, it seems to me like degenerates wind up with other degenerates pretty often.

[Jonnusthegreat]

I'm not sure what this rant is about.

This much is apparent.

[Azadina]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with using the law to your favor. Getting dual passport has great perks.

I think the ethics are more questionable if you use people, not just the law.