Strong woman of size (WoS) strikes back at the patriarchy

[Stelio Kontos]

I hesitate to directly contradict a mod.... but....

Yes, it is. At least for determining if my " little soldier" rises to the occasion. If I don't like what I see, nothing's happening.

The optics do matter for physical attraction and arousal, so the initial physical part of a relationship, sure.

I'd have a hard time getting turned on by a woman with unkempt hair dressed in sweats. I mean, she'd have to be ridiculously attractive naturally to overcome how ugly the whole sweats/pajamas in public thing is for me.

[THE Bigzoman]

Why do you think it's bullshit? I mean, it's no secret that there is a lot of emphasis placed on women's looks by society. I've read threads in these very forums where a woman's appearance was scrutinized in minute detail.

I absolutely believe this could have happened, what's interesting is that he felt the need to tell her what is wrong with her body because clearly he seems to think that is OK.

I would never in a million years tell a guy that I didn't want to date him because I thought there was something wrong with him. It's not my place to tell a date (or anyone) that there is something wrong with him, he will find someone who will love that aspect of who he is (or at least tolerates it).

If I thought we were incompatible I'd simply say that, and wish him the best.

People seem to think that the proliferation of these sorts of stories is some SJW/feminist conspiracy when the whole body empowerment thing wouldn't exist if we weren't constantly telling people what was wrong with them in the first place.

There's nothing wrong with telling someone why you're not into them.

- - - Updated - - -

'Whileist I am turned on by your mind."


Lol

Right? THe fuck is this shit?

[Celista]

There's nothing wrong with telling someone why you're not into them.

If I told every guy guy that messaged me/went on one date with why I wasn't into them, there would be a lot of pointless hurt feelings...

Bottom line is that I'm not feeling it, I don't need to say anything more than that (especially after one date).

[Xargoth6634]

Offended landwhale is offended.

[THE Bigzoman]

If I told every guy guy that messaged me/went on one date with why I wasn't into them, there would be a lot of pointless hurt feelings...

Bottom line is that I'm not feeling it, I don't need to say anything more than that (especially after one date).

Except it wouldn't be pointless.

WHether or not they choose to take your feedback into consideration when dating others is their prejorative.

[Stelio Kontos]

If I told every guy guy that messaged me/went on one date with why I wasn't into them, there would be a lot of pointless hurt feelings...

Bottom line is that I'm not feeling it, I don't need to say anything more than that (especially after one date).

Yeah, sometimes people can't handle the truth. Even if it's done in a respectful manner there are some things that can't be sugar-coated enough. How do you you tell someone you don't think they're intelligent enough for you? Best to just say "It won't work out" or some such and part amicably.

[LilSaihah]

If I told every guy guy that messaged me/went on one date with why I wasn't into them, there would be a lot of pointless hurt feelings...

Or maybe they'd appreciate the honest feedback and work to better themselves for the sake of improving their odds with other women.

YOU NEVER KNOW

[Stelio Kontos]

Or maybe they'd appreciate the honest feedback and work to better themselves for the sake of improving their odds with other women.

YOU NEVER KNOW

Few people are like that, male or female.

Too many bruised egos.

[Darkeon]

If there isn't physical connection, then I don't see an issue; He embellished the message to avoid hurting her, but there's no avoid hurting SJWs.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Or maybe they'd appreciate the honest feedback and work to better themselves for the sake of improving their odds with other women.

YOU NEVER KNOW

People are different. YOU NEVER KNOW.

[Mistame]

Uh, no it isn't...

Everything, no. But the foundation of intimacy is attraction and the primary trigger for attraction is aesthetics.

[Celista]

Except it wouldn't be pointless.

WHether or not they choose to take your feedback into consideration when dating others is their prejorative.

It is, though...unless that person was deliberately inconsiderate or rude, that person out there will find someone who thinks x issue that bothers me is fine. Or great. People have different tastes...personality preferences...aesthetic preferences...interests...just because I don't like x person's whatever doesn't mean that guy needs to change who he is. That's dumb; also why would he do that for one girl he went on one date with? Also people don't really change, their core personality stays static over a lifetime.

If he really wants to know then I'll answer, but imo I think most people are fine being exactly who they are, even if I am not feeling that individual or don't think we'd be a good fit together.

[THE Bigzoman]

It is, though...unless that person was deliberately inconsiderate or rude, that person out there will find someone who thinks x issue that bothers me is fine. Or great. People have different tastes...personality preferences...aesthetic preferences...interests...just because I don't like x person's whatever doesn't mean that guy needs to change who he is. That's dumb; also why would he do that for one girl he went on one date with? Also people don't really change, their core personality stays static over a lifetime.

If he really wants to know then I'll answer, but imo I think most people are fine being exactly who they are, even if I am not feeling that individual or don't think we'd be a good fit together.

We're not talking about a complete overhaul of a person though, we're talking about changes in physical appearance.

And when it boils down to that, people's tastes aren't as unique as you think they are.

[Archibalde]

Maybe those hurt feelings will motivate them to change?

Worlds too obsessed with hurt feelings.

The person doesn't necessarily have to change, though. That one man she went on a date with isn't the last man on Earth. I think you need an inflated ego to decide that some random stranger you met on a dating app needs to have her feelings hurt in order to encourage her to conform to your standards. Just say you had a nice evening, but you didn't think you had the right chemistry to take it any further.

[Sunseeker]

Yaaarrr!! There be assholes about!

[MatthewOU2015]

Why do you think it's bullshit? I mean, it's no secret that there is a lot of emphasis placed on women's looks by society. I've read threads in these very forums where a woman's appearance was scrutinized in minute detail.

I absolutely believe this could have happened, what's interesting is that he felt the need to tell her what is wrong with her body because clearly he seems to think that is OK.

I would never in a million years tell a guy that I didn't want to date him because I thought there was something wrong with him. It's not my place to tell a date (or anyone) that there is something wrong with him, he will find someone who will love that aspect of who he is (or at least tolerates it).

If I thought we were incompatible I'd simply say that, and wish him the best.

People seem to think that the proliferation of these sorts of stories is some SJW/feminist conspiracy when the whole body empowerment thing wouldn't exist if we weren't constantly telling people what was wrong with them in the first place.

From the comment section:

Alex, I'll take "Crap that never happened." for 500.

Seriously, we still fall for this stuff? Attention blogs like hers and other regularly post these outrageous kinds of stories. It's not a coincidence that their blogs all happen to focus on body image or ideals which happen to conflict with these stories. It's no secret the Michelle had gone on about her fat acceptance and trying to push a body standard and it shouldn't be a surprise that suddenly this happens. But this kind of fake story outrage drives numbers and apparently it's even reached Wimp.com so we know it's effective. Clickbait ruins everything. Fortunately a sucker is born every minute.

Ironically I think the quip at the end about his height is ironic considering she's obsessing over his height which is something that women do frequently. But then double standards is pretty common with those people.

[Nitro Fun]

There's nothing wrong with telling someone why you're not into them.

Waste of time since people are not going to change anyways because of someone not liking them.

[THE Bigzoman]

Waste of time since people are not going to change anyways because of someone not liking them.

It doesn't necessarily have to.

It beats the hell out of depriving them from what could be reality.

[Celista]

We're not talking about a complete overhaul of a person though, we're talking about changes in physical appearance.

And when it boils down to that, people's tastes aren't as unique as you think they are.

Women don't care about physical appearance as much as men do. People are a package deal and all of the minuses that an individual brings to the table can be offset by some exceptional pluses.

"Be the best version of you that you can be" is a good mantra for any given situation, dating or otherwise.

[Nitro Fun]

It doesn't necessarily have to.

It beats the hell out of depriving them from what could be reality.

Would you change who you are for someone when there are many others who would accept pre-change you?