The 4th Sibling

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

My mother had me at 42/43 and my father was about 45. They were way too old and I wasn't the healthiest baby either. I still suffer because they chose to have a child.

No, you are fine telling them they are wrong. I don't suggest having children after 35. My mom still thinks everything on the Internet is a lie, and my dad is barely computer literate.

I have friends who had children in their early 20s, I hear them complaining about handouts. They have children, and want money because of it. I just shake my head, because they were in no way financially ready, and they still aren't.

I'm a firm believer in not having children after 40. (adoption ok) and only having children if you can afford them. However, since nobody is having kids anymore l, you have to have some incentives. But please stop after 40.

Jesus, I didn't even think about that. Good point. :\

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http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/08/06...lies-late.html

Lots of 50-somethings having kids late, careers + reproductive technologies will make this more common in the future.

Yes you are out of line, two underage children with a 50k a year income is right about the national average. If you're over 18, move out and get a job, if you haven't done so already.

Not your life, you sound petty and bitter. Be happy for your mother and stop being so resentful for a decision that is really none of.your business.

I don't live with them, for clarification.

...and no, I won't be happy. Period. It doesn't matter if I suck it up or not. I was ready to be past all of this, tired of other people dictating my life for me. So I'm at a point where I'd like to move on towards a new circle. Try to live life a little on my own terms.

Yeah, it means distancing myself from much of the family but what-the-fuck-ever. They clearly don't care about how I feel so, it is what it is. I'll get over it. I'll feel it less personally over time. Sure. I believe that. Right now though? I'm beyond livid and it's going to take a long time for me to let it go.

Should've done it sooner but you know, I love my family. It's a hard thing to just give them the middle-finger and be about my business.

[Almaric]

Don't suck it up, ignore it, let them live with consequences of their choices. If you don't live with them, even better, focus on your own life, it's not your responsibility to save stupid people from stupid decisions. You said what you think, what they do is still their choice, don't bother pestering them about it, don't take other peoples problems on to yourself.

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

Don't suck it up, ignore it, let them live with consequences of their choices. If you don't live with them, even better, focus on your own life, it's not your responsibility to save stupid people from stupid decisions. You said what you think, what they do is still their choice, don't bother pestering them about it, don't take other peoples problems on to yourself.

I know. I've been very close to much of my family for all of my life and the idea of purposefully pushing them away feels alien to me.

That said, might be beneficial in more ways than I would like to think. Clearly we've grown apart in ideals and they're beginning to act as a negative force within my life versus a positive. Arguably, the former may have always been a case(as revealed somewhat in a prior post) and I've taken too long to realize that I need to go my own path. Lonely or not.

I need to focus on me. Maybe find other like-minded people. Live a little. I mustn't be cut out for suburbia. Hell, only people I've liked among their neighbors are the craziest of them. Drunks and wildcards that my family tends to shun after a time and I'm all like, "Aww man, why you gotta be like that?"

[darkvexen]

thread to long, read up to "breeders"

good luck m8

[Celista]

Jesus, I didn't even think about that. Good point. :\

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I don't live with them, for clarification.

...and no, I won't be happy. Period. It doesn't matter if I suck it up or not. I was ready to be past all of this, tired of other people dictating my life for me. So I'm at a point where I'd like to move on towards a new circle. Try to live life a little on my own terms.

Yeah, it means distancing myself from much of the family but what-the-fuck-ever. They clearly don't care about how I feel so, it is what it is. I'll get over it. I'll feel it less personally over time. Sure. I believe that. Right now though? I'm beyond livid and it's going to take a long time for me to let it go.

Should've done it sooner but you know, I love my family. It's a hard thing to just give them the middle-finger and be about my business.

You sound pretty petulant about a fourth sibling. Why is it your concern? Do you think that they might have to ask you for money? Are you worried about your inheritance?

You sound like a drama queen.

[Almaric]

You sound pretty petulant about a fourth sibling. Why is it your concern? Do you think that they might have to ask you for money? Are you worried about your inheritance?

You sound like a drama queen.

And you sound like you are looking for drama where there is none. Not to mention it looks like you love to judge people. Go back to tumblr.

[Fojos]

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/08/06...lies-late.html

Lots of 50-somethings having kids late, careers + reproductive technologies will make this more common in the future.

Yes you are out of line, two underage children with a 50k a year income is right about the national average. If you're over 18, move out and get a job, if you haven't done so already.

Not your life, you sound petty and bitter. Be happy for your mother and stop being so resentful for a decision that is really none of.your business.

Being happy for the mother bringing even more people into an already overpopulated planet, why? Did you have kids with someone half your age or why are you so angry?

[Celista]

And you sound like you are looking for drama where there is none. Not to mention it looks like you love to judge people. Go back to tumblr.

Clearly he's upset about it, grow up. He's a man in his 30s, why should he care about his mother's decision to have another child?

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

You sound pretty petulant about a fourth sibling. Why is it your concern? Do you think that they might have to ask you for money? Are you worried about your inheritance?

You sound like a drama queen.

My money, my time, my enjoyment. Children have a tendency to poison everything around you, especially these lot. When I was a kid with my two original siblings and our cousins/friends, we were constantly told to piss off and go play with the other kids at parties. We weren't excessively babied. We had to rely a lot more on ourselves for entertainment. Any room filled with adults became the "adult room" and we had to find our own space. Hell, I went to sleep plenty with the house rocking and a bopping into the AM.

Now it's like... everything revolves around the kids. Everything. Even events specified for adults. We cater to them on almost every level and they're in and among us like they're equals. There is no personal time for us. There never really was. I finally get older to where I can have fun with my folks and it's like, they insist on having more kids and being SUPER sensitive about them to where all the fun is sucked out of everything we do. It wasn't like that when I was younger. So not only is my adulthood getting shit on by OTHER peoples' kids but in a far more oppressive manner than once before.

I don't want to deal with it anymore. Been a decade now since I became an adult. Looking at potentially another decade or two of this bullshit. Fuck that. I'm going to have my fun before I am 50. I'll talk to them when I am 70 because apparently they won't be done with this phase until then.

[Celista]

Being happy for the mother bringing even more people into an already overpopulated planet, why? Did you have kids with someone half your age or why are you so angry?

Why should the OP care? It's not his decision whether his mother has 1 or 10 more children. There is literally no reason at all why he should care, he's in his 30s and hopefully not still living at home or sponging off his mother. She is an adult.

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My money, my time, my enjoyment. Children have a tendency to poison everything around you, especially these lot. When I was a kid with my two original siblings and our cousins/friends, we were constantly told to piss off and go play with the other kids at parties. We weren't excessively babied. We had to rely a lot more on ourselves for entertainment. Any room filled with adults became the "adult room" and we had to find our own space. Hell, I went to sleep plenty with the house rocking and a bopping into the AM.

Now it's like... everything revolves around the kids. Everything. Even events specified for adults. We cater to them on almost every level and they're in and among us like they're equals. There is no personal time for us. There never really was. I finally get older to where I can have fun with my folks and it's like, they insist on having more kids and being SUPER sensitive about them to where all the fun is sucked out of everything we do. It wasn't like that when I was younger. So not only is my adulthood getting shit on by OTHER peoples' kids but in a far more oppressive manner than once before.

I don't want to deal with it anymore. Been a decade now since I became an adult. Looking at potentially another decade or two of this bullshit. Fuck that. I'm going to have my fun before I am 50.

Oh so you're living at home then? Then get a job and move out of the house, you're in your 30s ffs.

[Boreaz]

My money, my time, my enjoyment. Children have a tendency to poison everything around you, especially these lot. When I was a kid with my two original siblings and our cousins/friends, we were constantly told to piss off and go play with the other kids at parties. We weren't excessively babied. We had to rely a lot more on ourselves for entertainment. Any room filled with adults became the "adult room" and we had to find our own space. Hell, I went to sleep plenty with the house rocking and a bopping into the AM.

Now it's like... everything revolves around the kids. Everything. Even events specified for adults. We cater to them on almost every level and they're in and among us like they're equals. There is no personal time for us. There never really was. I finally get older to where I can have fun with my folks and it's like, they insist on having more kids and being SUPER sensitive about them to where all the fun is sucked out of everything we do. It wasn't like that when I was younger. So not only is my adulthood getting shit on by OTHER peoples' kids but in a far more oppressive manner than once before.

I don't want to deal with it anymore. Been a decade now. Looking at potentially another decade or two of this bullshit. Fuck that. I'm going to have my fun before I am 50.

You sound like a drama queen.

Nail on the head, it basically sums up to him throwing a tantrum because he doesn't get to spend time with his parents without kids being around. Maybe it's just because I'm from a big family that I really can't understand what his gripe is. OP needs to let his parents do their thing and move on with his life.

[Almaric]

I strongly suggest you don't explain yourself to the tumblrinas and self appointed experts-on-everything of the MMO-C forums, who have nothing better to do than post 11 post EVERY SINGLE DAY for 4 years. They won't offer you anything but information on how wrong and worthless you are. Just take care of yourself man.

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

Why should the OP care? It's not his decision whether his mother has 1 or 10 more children. There is literally no reason at all why he should care, he's in his 30s and hopefully not still living at home or sponging off his mother. She is an adult.

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Oh so you're living at home then? Then get a job and move out of the house, you're in your 30s ffs.

No, I don't live with my mother. I know I've said that at least once in direct response towards you. I am around a lot though and stay in the area due to my family.

[Logwyn]

My mother, who is about 50 now

Snipped all the other things....

Your 50 year old mother is still able to have kids?!!?

[Celista]

No, I don't live with my mother. I know I've said that at least once in direct response towards you. I am around a lot though and stay in the area due to my family.

Then there is no reason at all why you should care. Boo, there might be a young sibling around when you come to visit? I guess your life is full of problems.

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

Snipped all the other things....

Your 50 year old mother is still able to have kids?!!?

She had a kid at 40 and 50 is definitely not stopping her from trying so... *shrug*

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Then there is no reason at all why you should care. Boo, there might be a young sibling around when you come to visit? I guess your life is full of problems.

I won't be visiting anymore. I also won't be providing anymore financial aid or any other form of aid.

[Celista]

Nail on the head, it basically sums up to him throwing a tantrum because he doesn't get to spend time with his parents without kids being around. Maybe it's just because I'm from a big family that I really can't understand what his gripe is. OP needs to let his parents do their thing and move on with his life.

Yeah. It's a temper tantrum that I'd expect from a 4 year old.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, on the off chance that he is somehow supporting his mother/younger sibling, but as that does not seem to be the case, it's definitely a case of tantrum-itis.

[Deleted]

I strongly suggest you don't explain yourself to the tumblrinas and self appointed experts-on-everything of the MMO-C forums, who have nothing better to do than post 11 post EVERY SINGLE DAY for 4 years. They won't offer you anything but information on how wrong and worthless you are. Just take care of yourself man.

If you're going to take anything from this cesspool of shit that is mmoc, it's this, a thousand times this.

[Celista]

I won't be visiting anymore. I also won't be providing anymore financial aid or any other form of aid.

If this was your issue then you should have made that clear in the OP. Tell your mother that you can't financially support her if she's going to have more children, I'm sure that will make things abundantly clear for her.

You are not entitled to take care of your adult mother, she can survive on $4k a month.

[Logwyn]

She had a kid at 40 and 50 is definitely not stopping her from trying so... *shrug*

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I won't be visiting anymore. I also won't be providing anymore financial aid or any other form of aid.

I'm just surprised menopause hasn't kicked in yet.