She doesnt want me to work

[zephid]

lol well to answer your question yes, very much so.

- - - Updated - - -



I'm not a student, well not yet. At least til late 2017, early 2018 range. She's a senior in high school this year however.

Well in that case just tell her that you need to work in order to support yourself. She can't really argue with that, right?

[ls-]

Quitting job for pusseh? Not worth it. If she keeps saying so, follow this piece of advice

Tell her to fuck off.

[Taeron]

So, basically my girlfriend of 6 months (I'm 19, she's 17) doesnt want me to work a job because she feels like it's splitting us apart. I'm a people person, and my new job is fantastic because I work with them all day, being it a BBQ place. I feel a lot of the girls and people like me there, but that's not really what I'm concerned about. I do love my girlfriend, and even her mom told her that she just wants to hold me back from moving forward in life. I really need some outside feedback and thoughts. Common things she says is "It's splitting us apart", "I feel we're drifting", "We never have time with each other" (even though its only 4 days a week for around 4 to 6 hours a day)

People in romantic relationships spend surprising amounts of time NOT having sex - despite what you are told or might read.

Find a woman with a brain, mate. The first woman you are attracted to that has a similar IQ to your own - latch on to her and don't let go.
Your current girlfriend might have a great arse or cute smile but if she keeps missing her mouth every time she goes to take a drink, you'll be an unhappy man when the novelty wears off.

[Nekobe140]

Well if you are not a student you need to work if you are gonna be able to support yourself, she has to understand that, right?

She's upset we don't spend "enough" time with each other, and that she feels we're drifting apart. I think she does understand the job aspect of things however

- - - Updated - - -

People in romantic relationships spend surprising amounts of time NOT having sex - despite what you are told or might read.

Find a woman with a brain, mate. The first woman you are attracted to that has a similar IQ to your own - latch on to her and don't let go.
Your current girlfriend might have a great arse or cute smile but if she keeps missing her mouth every time she goes to take a drink, you'll be an unhappy man when the novelty wears off.

I think you're right, I don't understand exactly how 4 hrs a day on weekends to hang out isn't enough personally.

[Sykol]

If she can't handle four hours a day now, she won't be able to handle it when you're both working in the future. She needs to grow up and get used to it, or you need to find someone else. Trust me, it won't ever do you any good to cater to a time vampire.

[Deleted]

0123456789

[Celista]

That sounds pretty manipulative and controlling. My first response was to say that you should dump her. If you like your job and are meh about your girlfriend, then you should take that route.

If you don't care about your job then I'd tell her that you'll quit your job if she gives you an allowance equivalent to what you earned via your job. Then you can play the role of house boyfriend for awhile, see if you find that rewarding. Make sure she keeps you stocked in bonbons, magazines and soap operas.

If she says no then tell her to fuck off because lol. How needy can you be, telling your bf to quit his 20 hour a week job so you could spend more time together?

[Nekobe140]

2 questions: Is she afraid too lose you? And how much of a social life does she have next to dating you?

Hmm. I believe she is scared to lose me, yes. I think she has abandonment issues and trust issues. Also, social life-wise I'd say it's kind of "eh". She has around 3 to 4 friends she talks to actively. Also a few friends over skype that are childhood friends. She's not alone when it comes to talking, it just seems she'd rather hang with me 24/7 than see anyone else. I guess some of it stems because quite a few of her friends (not the ones I listed) do drugs, drink, and party and shes really not about that life anymore and doesn't want to get involved.

[Maconi]

Here's a potentially life-saving tip. Don't have unprotected sex with that woman. If she's that desperate/clingy, she could try to anchor you down with a baby.

Also, if she's in High School, she has no idea what it's like to be an adult. If she can't accept that adults only have a few hours of free time every day (after work) then she's in for a rude awakening soon.

Really, it's not all that unusual though. I remember being in High School and my girlfriends insisting on being on the phone with me every waking minute (even if we weren't talking, they were happy with dead air for hours). They'll grow out of it (well, some will ).

[Nekobe140]

That sounds pretty manipulative and controlling. My first response was to say that you should dump her. If you like your job and are meh about your girlfriend, then you should take that route.

If you don't care about your job then I'd tell her that you'll quit your job if she gives you an allowance equivalent to what you earned via your job. Then you can play the role of house boyfriend for awhile, see if you find that rewarding. Make sure she keeps you stocked in bonbons, magazines and soap operas.

If she says no then tell her to fuck off because lol. How needy can you be, telling your bf to quit his 20 hour a week job so you could spend more time together?

Yeah.. my friends have called her controlling before because she also gets very upset (sometimes to the point of crying ) if I "leave her" to hang out with my friends instead of her.

- - - Updated - - -

Here's a potentially life-saving tip. Don't have unprotected sex with that woman. If she's that desperate/clingy, she could try to anchor you down with a baby.

Also, if she's in High School, she has no idea what it's like to be an adult. If she can't accept that adults only have a few hours of free time every day (after work) then she's in for a rude awakening soon.

Really, it's not all that unusual though. I remember being in High School and my girlfriends insisting of being on the phone with me every waking minute (even if we weren't talking, they were happy with dead air for hours). They'll grow out of it (well, some will :P).

On your first point, I've thought about this tonight. You're gonna be mad at me lol, but she's on birth control and we have unprotected sex quite a lot. I may cut it out now because I'm a bit uncomfortable. And yeah she is in highschool, I plan on going to school for software engineer (lifetime dream) so that's going to take quite a bit of time too out of "us"

[Deleted]

0123456789

[Celista]

Yeah.. my friends have called her controlling before because she also gets very upset (sometimes to the point of crying ) if I "leave her" to hang out with my friends instead of her.

That level of neediness/controlling behavior tends to get abusive in the long run. Trust me when I say that it is not normal for one's girlfriend to ask you to quit your job so you can spend more time together.

I don't know how much time you spend with your girlfriend but if it's 1-2 evenings a week or more then you are spending more than enough quality time with her.

Here's a potentially life-saving tip. Don't have unprotected sex with that woman. If she's that desperate/clingy, she could try to anchor you down with a baby.

Yup. This.

Although he's German, not sure what child support laws are like there.

[Logwyn]

You have someone that honestly isn't ready for a committed relationship. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn't have your interested in advancing yourself further in life?

You honestly also can't be around someone 24/7/365 no matter what. Even as great a marriage as me and the Wife have we still need our space and times where I do my own thing and she does her's. It's part of a health relationship.

When I was in high school my sophmore year I stopped playing basketball for some gal that thought that it would take away too much time from her. Well guess what. Right after basketball season ended...***POOF*** she breaks up with me....... I regret not playing basketball.

So yeah.... better yourself if she can't see it that's you improving yourself then let her go....let her go....don't let the door hit her on the way out...

[Nekobe140]

That level of neediness/controlling behavior tends to get abusive in the long run. Trust me when I say that it is not normal for one's girlfriend to ask you to quit your job so you can spend more time together.

I don't know how much time you spend with your girlfriend but if it's 1-2 evenings a week or more then you are spending more than enough quality time with her.


Yup. This.

Although he's German, not sure what child support laws are like there.

Oh I'm sorry! I'm American, I kinda put it there because I like Germany a lot. New Jersey =)

[Jotaux]

It seems like a ridiculous request. How are you supposed to support yourself? I'm assuming you aren't set for life and just working for fun.

[Celista]

On your first point, I've thought about this tonight. You're gonna be mad at me lol, but she's on birth control and we have unprotected sex quite a lot. I may cut it out now because I'm a bit uncomfortable. And yeah she is in highschool, I plan on going to school for software engineer (lifetime dream) so that's going to take quite a bit of time too out of "us"

Are you both in school? That might explain some things, she's young so that makes her behavior somewhat more understandable but still not OK. She has some maturing to do.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh I'm sorry! I'm American, I kinda put it there because I like Germany a lot. New Jersey =)

Oh, then wrap it up, no joke. :/ And check the condoms beforehand.

[Nekobe140]

I would ask her if she wants you to stop working/spend more time together because she's afraid of losing you. If she is losing you be honest about it and get it over with. If not you'll need to start working on trust and filling her life up with something that she enjoys but isn't related to you. Basically so "her world" doesn't end when she thinks you might break up with her. Ow and keep the job.

Honestly right now I think we are afraid of losing each other if that makes sense. Like I do love her but at the same time I do feel a bit distant from her too.

[lokithor]

Oh I'm sorry! I'm American, I kinda put it there because I like Germany a lot. New Jersey =)

Hooray for admitting statutory rape?

[Nekobe140]

[QUOTE=Celista;41883544]Are you both in school? That might explain some things, she's young so that makes her behavior somewhat more understandable but still not OK. She has some maturing to do.

- - - Updated - - -

Yeeeah she's in school, senior year of high school to be more exact. I just graduated, taking a year off

- - - Updated - - -

Hooray for admitting statutory rape?

17 and 19 is legal in Jersey, 16 is our age of consent

[Kapadons]

Crazy in the head means crazy in bed. Id stick it out until it hit critical mass or she stops moving forward sexually. Before she goes completely bananas, see if you can get her to suck your dick from behind.

- - - Updated - - -

Real advice- dump her. You are too young for her to be "the one" and have plenty of things to discover about yourself before settling down.

If you really really like her, try and get her a job where you work. That way you get to Make everyone happy. You keep the job and make money, she gets to spend time with you while also earning money.