"...That Guy". A tale.

[Klingers]

Allow me to relate a sad tale unfolding all over the world this week, a sad state of affairs taking place a thousand times a day in a thousand different forms.

Imagine, if you will, a Legion Invasion. Any Legion invasion. You're off a far, out-of-the-way corner as far as you can get away from everyone else on your mid-90's alt, trying to grind out those last few levels to 100. You're happily murderizing Felguards. The XP generously trickles like a single errant droplet of fine wine trickling from the full, seductive lips of the finest maiden. You are happy. Content. You might be watching Community on your second monitor. All is well.

Then... Hope dies. A glint on the horizon grows larger as it ominously descends towards you and your precious Felguard.

Your stoic would-be benefactor vaults heroically off his Honor Hold griffon and cries unto the heavens "look, i is hleping!". Your clawed hand reaches desperately towards the screen as time seems to slow to pure stillness. You find yourself begging the very fates themselves... "Nooooo!"

As the lowly Felguard's healthbar approaches 1%, a glimmer of desperate hope begins to slowly fill your heart. Maybe... Just maybe. But alas, no... It was not to be.

The Warrior's heirloom agility sword sings as it arcs through the air to rob the filthy demon of its life and you of your hard-earned XP bounty. You slump in your chair in abject defeat... Crestfallen and resigned to your reward being halved or perhaps even quartered.

A small capillary in your eye bursts. Another small chisel is taken to your faith in humanity.

Chastisement would seem to be in order, but the abject defeatism etched into your very soul through years of playing an MMO overrides your hubris. No lesson would be learned. No change could ever occur... Our vaunted and well-meaning protector shall ever-continue through life blissfully unaware. Bereft of situational awareness. Forever... A derptard. Maybe he'll roll a Gnome.

You see the burning spires of this most recent demonic incursion begin crumbling to dust. For now, the invasion has been routed. Your XP bar remains disappointingly empty. In an act of petty dismissal you open your mount collection to your most visually impressive raid mount and vault into the clouds with a derisive sneer.

As you tap num-lock and begin your return journey to Stormwind, you have an epiphany. The true invaders, the truly destructive and unstoppable force that is legion and unending, is not the NPC demons. The true face of the enemy is nestled firmly behind replica Dungeon Tier 1 helmets. The mouth-breathing and the well-meaning. There are no Pillars of Creation capable of annihilating such an implacable foe.

This world is doomed. You must flee to another. Draenor has treasures. Collect them. Level. Be happy. No force on Earth or Azeroth can rob you of the sweet XP contained therein.

Thus here endeth the tale. May your XP bars be forever full and the mob taggers forever elsewhere.

Also, install DraenorTreasures. It'll make stuff a hell of a lot easier.

[Armakus]

What did I just read?

[Deleted]

What did I just read? :o

[Doomaz]

send this to preach :O

[Deja Thoris]

What did I just read?

"y u steal mah XP" couched in RP babble.

[Klingers]

send this to preach :O

Cheers, done ;-)

Good suggestion. Didn't think of that.

- - - Updated - - -

"y u steal mah XP" couched in RP babble.

Yeah. That.

[Deleted]

The true face of the enemy is nestled firmly behind replica Dungeon Tier 1 helmets. The mouth-breathing and the well-meaning.

It's actually the other way around. Those struggling to grind XP in invasions, those who take the whole business so very seriously. The angry mouth-breathing neckbeards desperately trying to hide at the back chipping away at some demon, like it was the most important thing in the world, so afraid the rest of us would see them in a this massively multi-player world. Wishing this was just a single-player game.

But we do see. And then we tag the mob. And we laugh at you.

[Klingers]

But we do see. And then we tag the mob. And we laugh at you.

...For you are legion. Clueless. Unstoppable. Azeroth is yours.

[Snuffleupagus]

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me:

'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through."

I agreed.

At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

[Deleted]

...For you are legion. Clueless. Unstoppable. Azeroth is yours.

..and we don't start pointless, clueless threads crying about how very unfair life in vydyja games is.

[Klingers]

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me:

'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through."

I agreed.

At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

I know what you were trying to do there but honestly dude, you're my new hero

I snorted my coffee.

+10 internet points for you.

[Snuffleupagus]

I know what you were trying to do there but honestly dude, you're my new hero

I snorted my coffee.

+10 internet points for you.

He typed, holding back his tears rather unsuccessfully. He knew he had made a mistake in roleplaying. This was General Discussion. What hope did he ever have?

That night would be spent crying into his MLP body pillow, caressing the tired cover which now had a curious yellow tinge to it. The pony would always understand him. And maybe one day, the mean people on the internet would leave him alone.

Just like his father didn't.

[kamuimac]

Allow me to relate a sad tale unfolding all over the world this week, a sad state of affairs taking place a thousand times a day in a thousand different forms.

Imagine, if you will, a Legion Invasion. Any Legion invasion. You're off a far, out-of-the-way corner as far as you can get away from everyone else on your mid-90's alt, trying to grind out those last few levels to 100. You're happily murderizing Felguards. The XP generously trickles like a single errant droplet of fine wine trickling from the full, seductive lips of the finest maiden. You are happy. Content. You might be watching Community on your second monitor. All is well.

Then... Hope dies. A glint on the horizon grows larger as it ominously descends towards you and your precious Felguard.

Your stoic would-be benefactor vaults heroically off his Honor Hold griffon and cries unto the heavens "look, i is hleping!". Your clawed hand reaches desperately towards the screen as time seems to slow to pure stillness. You find yourself begging the very fates themselves... "Nooooo!"

As the lowly Felguard's healthbar approaches 1%, a glimmer of desperate hope begins to slowly fill your heart. Maybe... Just maybe. But alas, no... It was not to be.

The Warrior's heirloom agility sword sings as it arcs through the air to rob the filthy demon of its life and you of your hard-earned XP bounty. You slump in your chair in abject defeat... Crestfallen and resigned to your reward being halved or perhaps even quartered.

A small capillary in your eye bursts. Another small chisel is taken to your faith in humanity.

Chastisement would seem to be in order, but the abject defeatism etched into your very soul through years of playing an MMO overrides your hubris. No lesson would be learned. No change could ever occur... Our vaunted and well-meaning protector shall ever-continue through life blissfully unaware. Bereft of situational awareness. Forever... A derptard. Maybe he'll roll a Gnome.

You see the burning spires of this most recent demonic incursion begin crumbling to dust. For now, the invasion has been routed. Your XP bar remains disappointingly empty. In an act of petty dismissal you open your mount collection to your most visually impressive raid mount and vault into the clouds with a derisive sneer.

As you tap num-lock and begin your return journey to Stormwind, you have an epiphany. The true invaders, the truly destructive and unstoppable force that is legion and unending, is not the NPC demons. The true face of the enemy is nestled firmly behind replica Dungeon Tier 1 helmets. The mouth-breathing and the well-meaning. There are no Pillars of Creation capable of annihilating such an implacable foe.

This world is doomed. You must flee to another. Draenor has treasures. Collect them. Level. Be happy. No force on Earth or Azeroth can rob you of the sweet XP contained therein.

Thus here endeth the tale. May your XP bars be forever full and the mob taggers forever elsewhere.

Also, install DraenorTreasures. It'll make stuff a hell of a lot easier.

seems like you would be much happier playing single player games not mmo //shrug

[Shelly]

You do know that another leveling character doesn't really effect your XP bar all that much and it's only when a level 100 swoops in to save your hindquarters from fel-fire that your XP takes a royal dump right?

[Netherling]

It really irritates me too, on my levelling chars, when I've pulled a nice group, got them low and some guy (more annoying if they're level 100) swoops in and tags them just before they die - halving the exp I get.

[Raiju]

You do know that another leveling character doesn't really effect your XP bar all that much and it's only when a level 100 swoops in to save your hindquarters from fel-fire that your XP takes a royal dump right?

last night a lvl 50 (me being 90) tapped my mob at 10% and I only got 500 exp as a result,

[Shelly]

last night a lvl 50 (me being 90) tapped my mob at 10% and I only got 500 exp as a result,

I could be misinformed, but you should be getting a better split than that.

[Deleted]

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me:

'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through."

I agreed.

At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

Have my babies?

[Trickname]

Totally understand. I'm sure you "Mr Cool" people also understand despite your failed attempts to sound superior.

[Devilyaki]

"Fear not little 90ish seasoned warrior? I Devilyaki fearless protection paladin of the horde will defend you from these vile monstrous demons of the legion". Kills demon and pats little alt on the head. "Good job there you got that one rather low and all by yourself too, keep that up and you'll be as strong as me in no time". ^_^