No Sex Before Marriage

[Reeve]

You misunderstood me. The badness of the sex can have lots of factors.

Sexual Compatibility
People have different libidos and don't always like the same things sexually. It's not always as easy as "They'll figure it out".

Edit - If one can have great sex with a someone else, why settle for the "not so good sex"?

Exactly. There's a lot more at work here than the simple mechanics of sex.

[Ripster42]

I feel like we're talking about completely different things.

[sionus]

My immediate thoughts were that she's going to be incredibly disappointed on her wedding night.

Yes, their first time is almost certainly going to be "disappointing" on both sides; however, the point of marriage is that two people work together to make all aspects of their lives successful. Marriage used to be actually be considered, with few exceptions, a lifetime commitment. Nowadays it's more disposable and the commitment is seriously lacking. If you truly love the person you've married and plan to be with them forever, then you should be more than willing to figure out how to be sexual compatible.

FYI, there is nothing stopping a couple who are dating from having conversations about their sexual desires to determine how compatible they are before actually having sex.

[Deleted]

While I personally don't believe in it, if I started dating a girl who said she wanted to wait...I would think it is kinda hot.

For the first 2 dates maybe if even that, then it would be bye bye...

[Masser]

I know plenty of people who believe in it.

I refuse to believe you!

[Hammerfest]

I know lots of people who believe in no sex before marriage... but then, I'm an evangelical Christian.

[Kujako]

Seems like a lot of work... getting married and divorced for every one night stand.

[Fencers]

Seems like a massive waste of your life to abstain from sex before marriage. But meh, people do what thy please. I just think it is wasteful and foolish.

I am not religious in the least and do not know anyone personally who harbors such views as the OP related.

[Reeve]

While I personally don't believe in it, if I started dating a girl who said she wanted to wait...I would think it is kinda hot.

I never really understood the appeal of "having a virgin." It took me years of sex to figure out what I was doing, what I liked, and how to approach different women. I can't imagine having to work through that whole period with a girl that has no experience. I much prefer a girl who has had lots of sex and knows what she likes and isn't ashamed of it, isn't tentative or nervous about it.

[Espe]

Marriage used to be actually be considered, with few exceptions, a lifetime commitment.

Actually marriage used to be considered, with few exceptions, a business transaction: my daughter for your horses and some cash, etc.

[sionus]

Actually marriage used to be considered, with few exceptions, a business transaction: my daughter for your horses and some cash, etc.

I'm not sure how your comment changes anything that I said. It still is treated that way in many cultures.

[Espe]

I know lots of people who believe in no sex before marriage... but then, I'm an evangelical Christian.

Case in point: dysfunctional doesn't begin to cover it.

[Deleted]

I never really understood the appeal of "having a virgin." It took me years of sex to figure out what I was doing, what I liked, and how to approach different women. I can't imagine having to work through that whole period with a girl that has no experience. I much prefer a girl who has had lots of sex and knows what she likes and isn't ashamed of it, isn't tentative or nervous about it.

Can I be disgustingly material about it reeve?
My life partner did not have previous sexual relationships before me, and you know what.... it's that feeling of knowing I tapped her first.

There, hate me

[Serath]

I waited due to religious reasons. My wife doesn't share my religion and had a couple partners before me. The first time was... not super great. Mostly due to nerves. We did have sex on our wedding night but we were so exhausted I'm surprised it happened. Anyway, the first time wasn't super amazing but now that we're several years in, it's much better. We were willing to discuss what we do and don't like up front and that's all that really mattered.

[Espe]

I'm not sure how your comment changes anything that I said. It still is treated that way in many cultures.

It wasn't about love and it was only a lifetime commitment because the young girl / woman (if she's lucky) had zero choice in the matter.

Hope that cleared things up for you.

[Deleted]

I waited due to religious reasons. My wife doesn't share my religion and had a couple partners before me. The first time was... not super great. Mostly due to nerves. We did have sex on our wedding night but we were so exhausted I'm surprised it happened. Anyway, the first time wasn't super amazing but now that we're several years in, it's much better. We were willing to discuss what we do and don't like up front and that's all that really mattered.

No surprise anal sex then I guess

[Espe]

My life partner did not have previous sexual relationships before me, and you know what.... it's that feeling of knowing I tapped her first.

That's what she says, anyway.

Sadly if she's really telling the truth deep down somewhere she'll always have to wonder about what it would be like to be with others. Sounds like a shaky foundation for any relationship.

[sionus]

It wasn't about love and it was only a lifetime commitment because the young girl / woman (if she's lucky) had zero choice in the matter.

Hope that cleared things up for you.

Again, that doesn't change anything I wrote. I don't even understand why you wrote your original comment as it doesn't add anything to the conversation.

[Dug]

I'm not sure how people can. Every wedding I have been too, being Northern Irish, the bride and groomsman were absolutely shit faced. Maybe the woman can, but when I am in the same state as the groomsman, I pass out as soon as my head hits a pillow (never mind getting it up).

Irish Whiskey dick ?

[Deleted]

That's what she says, anyway.

Sadly if she's really telling the truth deep down somewhere she'll always have to wonder about what it would be like to be with others. Sounds like a shaky foundation for any relationship.

Yeah no that is a load of cock lol.
If your life partner wonders about what it would be like with others you done fucked up bro.