No Sex Before Marriage

[flyspyro]

So I was looking on my Facebook as I do once in a blue moon and found a post from a British couple in their twenties perhaps even thirties announcing their wedding date after 5 years engaged. Nothing particularly interesting about that then I read that they don't believe in sex before marriage and was genuinely surprised because I didn't think people still believed that in Britain beyond incredibly devote religious people (which is uncommon here) and they claimed they're not overly religious. My immediate thoughts were that she's going to be incredibly disappointed on her wedding night. Got me thinking, do you know people who still believe in no sex before marriage or perhaps even believe it yourself, what's your views?

My view......

As a female, its very important to me that my partner knows how to get me off with his "...." before I marry him. I don't want to marry a lazy only for themselves lay.. I'm not into oral or outer stimulation. whatever the reason, it's a turn off. Size matters as well.. your gonna be with this person for the rest of your life you need to know these things.. I'm not saying sex is the most important thing but it's up there.. I remember my first time.. it was sad and disappointing and if I had balls they would have been blue.. not something I would have wanted on my wedding night lmao!
Been with my soon to be husband for over 11 years and he never gets old..

[sionus]

I was just pointing out the fact that the "good 'ol days" you were pining over never existed.:

Yes, they very certainly did. The more you post the more apparent it is that you're a child.

[Amantino]

Children are pretty expensive.

Birth control is a thing.

[Kithelle]

God forbid someone actually have control of themselves?

[Reeve]

Can I be disgustingly material about it reeve?
My life partner did not have previous sexual relationships before me, and you know what.... it's that feeling of knowing I tapped her first.

There, hate me

I don't hate you. It's just not something that has an appeal to me. If anything, I see more appeal in knowing that she's had plenty of experience before me, and still chose me as better than all of the other guys.

[NicoWolf]

Having sex before marriage, assuming that marriage is even in your life script, is like a gymnast practicing and training for the Olympics; each person you get it on with is practice for whoever that special someone you deem to be that special someone who comes along later in life, i.e. The Olympic Gold Medal.

Personally, I think the idea of having sex before marriage is an immensely good one for good reason.

* I'd rather have sex with someone, guy or girl, who knows what they're doing. Awkward sex is not really fun.

* Having sex before marriage helps you define your sexual likes and dislikes, which is kinda important if you're gonna tie yourself to the same person for the next 20 years. Imagine finding out they can't cum without having a horse dildo shoved up YOUR ass, and that just happens to be the one thing that you absolutely can't do. Pretty awkward moment to have on your wedding night.

* Sex before marriage also gives you the chance to be a better lover for the next person down the road, assuming the current person doesn't last.

* Having sex before marriage helps you bridge the gap of any uncertainties you might actually have about it AND also helps you learn a great deal about yourself. Sex is more than just an expression of physical love, it is, if anything, the ultimate expression of the "self". In the bedroom, you can open up completely. Any defense mechanisms, any safeguards you might have, you can learn to shed those things the more you learn about your strengths and weaknesses in the bedroom, and ultimately build a confidence in yourself that translates to being a better lover.

[Fasolina]

Fuck that.

Actually I think the point is that they don't.

:P

[Tiev]

They're missing out. But then again, who cares? It's their life.

[Reeve]

We believe God designed sex to be a part of marriage, and to essentially save us from ourselves. Sleeping around is the cause of a lot of pain, so God's like "Hey. That makes things suck for everyone. Maybe don't do that, yeah?"

But is there a reason for that belief beyond tradition? The Bible doesn't appear to have anything to say about it, and even if it did, we see LOTS of examples in the Bible of God changing his mind and circumstances change over the years (or even over hours in some cases in the Bible). Why should it still apply today, when millions of people sleep with people outside of wedlock, safely and without disease or unintended progeny, and get great joy and contentment out of it?

[Deleted]

We all live in sin.
Actually surprisingly enough, I do know a good few that got married now that I think about it.
I'd marry myself if it wasn't that expensive

The only point of marriage apart from beeig religious are the tax advantages you get. Somehow the state still assumes that married = children. A change in that view is already on the horizon though.
That's germany if you were wondering.

[Reeve]

Pretty sure it has to do with some form of early birth control.
I'm guessing an early pregnancy at the time meant certain death or something.

Probably more to do with the fact that back then having a baby outside of wedlock was a great way to make sure that no man would take you as a wife, since they wouldn't want to feed/clothe/shelter another man's child. Since back then society was built around men taking care of women, no father would want his daughter to sleep around because he could end up having to take care of her the rest of his life instead of marrying her off and getting that phat dowry.

But times change and we have ways to plan pregnancies now. We have ways to protect against diseases. Realistically, there's no reason to avoid sex before marriage anymore, other than tradition.

[Draco-Onis]

Having sex before marriage, assuming that marriage is even in your life script, is like a gymnast practicing and training for the Olympics; each person you get it on with is practice for whoever that special someone you deem to be that special someone who comes along later in life, i.e. The Olympic Gold Medal.

Personally, I think the idea of having sex before marriage is an immensely good one for good reason.

* I'd rather have sex with someone, guy or girl, who knows what they're doing. Awkward sex is not really fun.

* Having sex before marriage helps you define your sexual likes and dislikes, which is kinda important if you're gonna tie yourself to the same person for the next 20 years. Imagine finding out they can't cum without having a horse dildo shoved up YOUR ass, and that just happens to be the one thing that you absolutely can't do. Pretty awkward moment to have on your wedding night.

* Sex before marriage also gives you the chance to be a better lover for the next person down the road, assuming the current person doesn't last.

* Having sex before marriage helps you bridge the gap of any uncertainties you might actually have about it AND also helps you learn a great deal about yourself. Sex is more than just an expression of physical love, it is, if anything, the ultimate expression of the "self". In the bedroom, you can open up completely. Any defense mechanisms, any safeguards you might have, you can learn to shed those things the more you learn about your strengths and weaknesses in the bedroom, and ultimately build a confidence in yourself that translates to being a better lover.

If sex is an expression of physical love then you really don't need to practice to fill in any gap, it's just an excuse. In a relationship sex is a part but not the biggest part as you get older you find that out rather quickly, even if you are a virgin or out of practice if you are with the right person and communicate it's no big deal in fact it may make the relationship even better. If the person you marry wants to leave you for awkward sex, it is a big red light telling you that you married the wrong person.

In a world where you can get laid faster than ordering a pizza, I find people put way too much emphasis on sex. It's jokingly easy to get laid it's exponentially harder to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[Mihalik]

I never actually met anyone over 18 who would think this feasible.

I also always suspected people who claim that they "held out" are full of shit.

[Jotaux]

But is there a reason for that belief beyond tradition? The Bible doesn't appear to have anything to say about it, and even if it did, we see LOTS of examples in the Bible of God changing his mind and circumstances change over the years (or even over hours in some cases in the Bible). Why should it still apply today, when millions of people sleep with people outside of wedlock, safely and without disease or unintended progeny, and get great joy and contentment out of it?

In corinthians it describes sex as immoral except when in the case of a marriage between a man and a woman.

Personally I think its best to get as much experience as possible so when you do find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you don't fuck it up.

[Dundebuns]

It is a perfectly valid biological function. Sex predates marriage by thousands upon thousands of years anyway. Enjoy your partner before you get married. If anything it stops the wedding night being a painful, bloody anti climax.

[Espe]

Yes, they very certainly did. The more you post the more apparent it is that you're a child.

Oh sorry I should have clarified, I meant they never existed in objective reality. I'm sure they totally existed in the fantasy world you inhabit.

- - - Updated - - -

It's jokingly easy to get laid it's exponentially harder to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I agree, I just don't think that's a good reason to do something as unhealthy and unnatural as abstaining until after marriage.

[sionus]

Oh sorry I should have clarified, I meant they never existed in objective reality. I'm sure they totally existed in the fantasy world you inhabit.

OK kid. Keep believing what you want despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

[Espe]

If you go with philosophy "You have to get laid before certain age"

That sounds just as insane as "You can't have sex before marriage." I think most rational, healthy human beings are capable of finding some middle ground there.

- - - Updated - - -

OK kid. Keep believing what you want despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

You looking in a mirror or something?

[Draco-Onis]

I agree, I just don't think that's a good reason to do something as unhealthy and unnatural as abstaining until after marriage.

I recently read about an article similar to this for millennials, it happens sometimes because they are simply too busy. I went through a time in my life were I worked 60+ hour weeks on top of going to school full time sleep was my top priority.

[Eon Drache]

I more so believe that I want to make sure I found the right person first. Once I know that sex and marriage will come at the same time in my mind. I'm aetheist so I don't believe in anything religious about it. It is just how I was raised to think. I know I can use condoms or she can use birth control but to me those are both flawed. I don't want a kid. Im not ready for a kid. I don't want a commitment with someone Im not going to love.