Was I being "non-pc"

[LilSaihah]

@OP
you've been hit by
you've been struck by
a gender fluid individual

O.O what is wrong with single mothers as a whole that warrants avoiding them.

The broad implication is that they were careless enough to have a child with someone who didn't have the moral character to stick around and raise it with them, which implies a mix of terrible decision-making and dysgenics.

[Spunt]

@OP
you've been hit by
you've been struck by
a gender fluid individual



The broad implication is that they were careless enough to have a child with someone who didn't have the moral character to stick around and raise it with them, which implies a mix of terrible decision-making and dysgenics.

Or the father decided he didn't like married life and wanted to sleep around after getting married and lying his off the whole time and refuses to pay child support.

[LilSaihah]

Or the father decided he didn't like married life and wanted to sleep around after getting married and lying his off the whole time and refuses to pay child support.

So yeah, poor moral character.

[Spunt]

So yeah, poor moral character.

For the mother or father?

[LilSaihah]

For the mother or father?

What I'm strictly speaking about here is a situation in which the father left the mother or is otherwise unavailable, in which case the father is most likely at fault. It still bears on the mother's ability to judge character and suggests that they're not capable of selecting a suitable partner.

[Cheze]

maybe when you're talking to somebody, and they tell you how they identify... just say 'okay, cool.' Instead of what you did, which is apparently try to win some rhetorical point about what a lesbian really is (because you're an authority right? I bet you watch a ton of video on it.)

ed: like, if somebody tells you they aren't gay... and your response is 'but technically you really are though, right?' That does kinda make you an insensitive jerk, yeah

[Totle]

Ok! As someone who is, admittedly, sometimes out of touch with current trends I turn to the MMO-C forums in the hopes I can be enlightened. Recently while visiting friends I met a transgendered woman, this was brought up by herself, not me. As we all talked she made a comment that struck me, she said: "I'm not gay, I'm only into women". I asked this in response: "you are a woman, being into other women would technically mean you're gay/lesbian, no?". I even went out of my way to preemptively say I was unsure about terminology and didn't mean any offense. Her repose was to shout, cause a scene amongst the party, and call me "an insensitive dick" among a few other choice names. Was my assumption about the meaning of gay wrong? Did I deserve that sort of response? It feels we all have to walk on eggshells any more and even honest questions can piss off anyone at anytime. I am out of touch, perhaps, but i feel people need to understand thay not everyone 'gets it'....idk

Some in the LGBT community consider 'gay' to be for men and 'lesbian' to be for women and 'homosexual' to be the gender neutral one.

The reality is... you probably found a tumblerina that creamed herself at the thought of encountering something she could twist into pseudo-oppression so she can post in her live-journal about how much of a victim she is. Then she could kick back and let the sympathy and compliments roll in.

To these people, this is their heroin.

To combat this, you just ignore them. Or, if you personally feel offended by their conduct and feel like you're being slandered, continue to trigger them. They'll hit threshold quite soon, where they can no longer pretend to care anymore, and will either shut up or leave. Either way, you win.

[Bapestar]

maybe when you're talking to somebody, and they tell you how they identify... just say 'okay, cool.' Instead of what you did, which is apparently try to win some rhetorical point about what a lesbian really is (because you're an authority right? I bet you watch a ton of video on it.)

ed: like, if somebody tells you they aren't gay... and your response is 'but technically you really are though, right?' That does kinda make you an insensitive jerk, yeah

Yea I agree with this however, the individual the Op was dealing with, sounds like a jackass.

[May90]

maybe when you're talking to somebody, and they tell you how they identify... just say 'okay, cool.' Instead of what you did, which is apparently try to win some rhetorical point about what a lesbian really is (because you're an authority right? I bet you watch a ton of video on it.)

ed: like, if somebody tells you they aren't gay... and your response is 'but technically you really are though, right?' That does kinda make you an insensitive jerk, yeah

I have to agree that, since these matters are pretty volatile and sensitive, it is better not to argue on them. "Are you gay?" - "No, because blablabla" - I think, an appropriate response here is, "Okay, gotcha", instead of arguing. Unless, of course, you know the person really well and you trust each other enough to argue about such things without hurt feelings.

[Ahovv]

To answer your question involves exploring the absurdity of gender identity, which isn't allowed on these forums.

[Deleted]

as others already said, i don't see anything wrong with the question you asked or how you asked it, at least from how you've described it here. both because you are correct (as far as one can be correct on a tricky issue like this) in saying that someone who identifies as female and is atracted to other females is gay/lesbian, and because an honest question with no ill intent should never be cause to start yelling and insulting someone, even if what was said offended you.

gender and sexuality are understandably very precarious topics for many transgender people, because so many of them experience widespread discrimination and rejection for the sole reason of their identity. and maybe she simply misinterpreted your question, your intent, or both as a result of prior experiences. but that still doesn't entirely excuse the overreaction.

i'd say: keep asking this sort of questions. curiosity and desire to understand something that you don't know much about are very much good things. and of the half-dozen of transwomen i've talked to about the topic, not one ever seemed offended by an honest question.



wiki: He identifies as "a straight transvestite or a male lesbian". He has also described himself as "a lesbian trapped in a man's body", transgender, and "a complete boy plus half girl".

The lesbian trapped in a mans body was a joke

- - - Updated - - -

maybe when you're talking to somebody, and they tell you how they identify... just say 'okay, cool.' Instead of what you did, which is apparently try to win some rhetorical point about what a lesbian really is (because you're an authority right? I bet you watch a ton of video on it.)

ed: like, if somebody tells you they aren't gay... and your response is 'but technically you really are though, right?' That does kinda make you an insensitive jerk, yeah

I don't really acknowledge somebodies delusions though. If you identify yourself as a woman and say you're attracted to women you fit the definition of gay. It's like all these 'straght' guys that go out of their way to regularly fuck men and then say "I'm not gay or bi!"

[Flarelaine]

And when adults have them?

Then it's called religion.

[May90]

I don't really acknowledge somebodies delusions though. If you identify yourself as a woman and say you're attracted to women you fit the definition of gay. It's like all these 'straght' guys that go out of their way to regularly fuck men and then say "I'm not gay or bi!"

What if you identify as a woman and are attracted to women, but also to men sometimes?

[Deleted]

What if you identify as a woman and are attracted to women, but also to men sometimes?

Bisexual /shrug

[May90]

Bisexual /shrug

But what if you are attracted to many women, but only, like, 1 out of 1000 men? "Bisexual" describes a more even preference, doesn't it?

That's why I dislike all these labels: they are too idealistic and rarely describe the reality.

[Deleted]

But what if you are attracted to many women, but only, like, 1 out of 1000 men? "Bisexual" describes a more even preference, doesn't it?

That's why I dislike all these labels: they are too idealistic and rarely describe the reality.

Actually bisexual doesn't mean 50/50... You can have preferences over 1 gender and still be bi

[unbound]

Assuming your questions were as innocent as presented, it is just someone who is over-sensitive. If this is common for the person, then there is no reason to interact with them in the future.

[Masark]

But what if you are attracted to many women, but only, like, 1 out of 1000 men? "Bisexual" describes a more even preference, doesn't it?

That's why I dislike all these labels: they are too idealistic and rarely describe the reality.

Bisexual with a homosexual bias. Or as Kinsey would put it, a 5.

Or possibly something more nuanced depending on the exact reasons for the disparity.

[Azadina]

Bisexual with a homosexual bias. Or as Kinsey would put it, a 5.

I wonder if I'm 1 or 2 in that scale...

[wowaccounttom]

you see.. for women it is different... especially for those who dont want to be associated with fags...

at best you might get away with say "bi", but the lolpc thing to say is we are attracted to other women.