Aggression and fear teach aggression and fear. Same principle behind why you don't hit dogs.
Aggression and fear teach aggression and fear. Same principle behind why you don't hit dogs.
Even young children can understand consequences without being hit though. Shit, dogs can understand consequences, and children will have passed most any dog by the time they are two and a half.
I think that if the child is old enough to know what is being asked, or know what the boundary is, that following through on consequences is the most important thing. In this case, you showed that you are willing to enforce the boundaries, and they understood that. Couldn't you have stopped the car and waited until they were buckled (repeating if necessary)? Wouldn't that have gotten the same point across without having to spank?
Spanking is a tool in the parental tool box. Say you have a 2 year old son who's very jealous of his new sister so much so that he's hitting her and it's starting to become dangerous.
You can sit him down and talk to him but he won't understand much at that age. A swat on the butt will get his attention and usually solve the problem. He might not be able to understand the situation but he'll understand that he doesn't want another swat on the butt.
Last edited by Independent voter; 2016-10-31 at 09:15 AM.
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"This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can."
-- Capt. Copeland
There are other ways to show a child that they have done something wrong, to make them learn. But hurting them in a physical or even mental way is non of them if you ask me.
Yes of course. But then again this doesn't matter if they don't care about the consequences. Remember that small children operate in the here and now. So future consequences are essentially meaningless to them.
I doubt it and to put it bluntly I do not believe that the risk (of fatal injury due to traffic accident) warranted your proposed "theoretical" course of action. Quite frankly to me it's astounding that a complete stranger should, not having been there, and clearly with little empathy as to the actual situation, be so judgmental.
No offense, but you don't sound like you have any parenting experience. It has been my observation that actually being a parent (not just me, but everyone around me) alters one's perceptions on how to deal with such issues while non-parents simply find it easy to pass judgement without having a clue what they're on about.
Nevertheless, you got the idea?
What someone said about toolbox, it's a very good word for it.
It's good to have wide arrange of tools. At the end of day, we're only trying to fix things, and sometimes there are tools you don't need - But when you DO need them, it's good to have them
That's why just blindly taking a tool out of a toolbox is not a good idea.
Telling -> Telling with a raised voice -> Eye contact face to face with raised voice -> A lot of other things to try -> physical discipline.
Main idea is to get our kids think and understand shit, and since we all are quite different, it might take different tools.
Peace.
Well if that doorknob is covered by a 20cm thick layer of ice, I guarantee you smash it with a sledgehammer instead of poking it witha screwdriver?
By putting every kid to a same mold, how they should be handled etc.. Not sure if you really mean it or are you just against physical discipline so much it blinds you from thinking.
I think a correcting slap can be used in the very worst of scenario's, but never any more than that. Physical violence is honestly seldomly the awnser to anything. However I do believe that swatting a child on the bum or something like that can be used in situations where they need to be reminded of their place.
If you mean physical as in grabbing and holding at eye level while scolding, sure.
If you mean by any means violence, like spanking, pinching or hitting, no.
Degrading a person with violence will never teach anything else but malice and resentment.
I grew up under what sounds like similar circumstances as you, OP, with drugs, violence and drama.
I was the youngest in a flock of three, and I'm the only one still alive of these to this day.
Don't EVER punish your children with violence.
Yes. Children are like animals the first few years. If you're slapping your child without showing him love and compassion afterwards and reminding him of his mistakes you're doing it wrong though.
No, not breaking the doorknob, just taking the ice out. You can try and talk that ice to nicely melt away, but at some point you realize it's pointless.
And here's the difference; I'm not defending shit, especially hitting your kids. But I can tell, just by reading your sentece that you only see HITTING and PUNISHMENT and BADBADBAD. (We're talking afaik, about physical discipline which doesn't turn out to me as HITTING, BEATING and PUNISHING BADBAD)
But like said, pointless to argue.
It teaches them that the powerful can use violence to enforce their will over the weak. So...no.
Think what corporal punishment is: using physical pain to compel someone else's behavior.
There's a word for that: torture.
A grown adult using physical force against a child ( other than restraining them from hurting themselves or someone else) is a contemptible coward.
" The guilt of an unnecessary war is terrible." --- President John Adams
" America goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy." --- President John Quincy Adams
" Our Federal Union! It must be preserved!" --- President Andrew Jackson
considerin you are still in this thread pretty much proves you have the need to defend yourself still, anyway like you said argue is pointless here =p
hitting children only teaches them that you didnt like what they did and then will do the same, hit someone because they didnt like what someone did and the circle goes on and on
Originally Posted by Blizzard Entertainment
Well yeah I kinda think the point of discussion is to see a.... well, point?
And here I try to drive a point where physical discipline is not seen as bad, but as a tool.
I see your point of not hitting, which I agree. Do you see my point of physical discipline being a good tool for growing up responsible adults? I don't think so, but please tell if I'm wrong
To me it taught that if I fuck around, there are consequences. The more I fuck up, the bigger the consequence is. If I go around telling everyone to eat a bag of dicks, I might get fucked up. If I go out there calling people shitcunts, I might get called out as assmuncher. Consequences my friend.hitting children only teaches them that you didnt like what they did and then will do the same, hit someone because they didnt like what someone did and the circle goes on and on