Do you think physical discipline on a child ever teaches anything good?

[Vargulf the Happy Husky]

Oh, but what a fine specimen we have here. Be sure that all of us cucks envy your alpha-ness.

im sure they do, thanks

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Thank you for proving my point... sheesh.

you didnt, nor have you ever, had a point.

[Slant]

im sure they do, thanks

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you didnt, nor have you ever, had a point.

mkay, pumpkin. It's been fun, but I'm gonna put you on ignore now. See, that's the way I deal with people like you. You're an insignificant little person trying to hype up your ego on an internet forum where you can hide behind your anonymity. I don't believe any of your pretense alpha bullshit. Being all pretense badass? That's usually the sign of a very weak person, if not physically, then certainly mentally. Good luck in life, you're gonna need it, buddy.

[Meneldur]

Physical discipline would never work on me and my mother knew it.
If I could do whatever I wanted and the only consequence is my butt/whatever hurting for a few minutes then I wouldn't care about doing 'bad' things (unless you people are talking about completely beating up your children).
Proper consequences and someone actually explaining to me why I shouldn't do what I did was more than enough.

[Slant]

Physical discipline would never work on me and my mother knew it.
If I could do whatever I wanted and the only consequence is my butt/whatever hurting for a few minutes then I wouldn't care about doing 'bad' things (unless you people are talking about completely beating up your children).
Proper consequences and someone actually explaining to me why I shouldn't do what I did was more than enough.

My mom once tried to discipline me with a stirring ladle thingy made of wood. It broke on my bum and I had the most hilarious laughing fit ever. She never tried that again, as it clearly had the wrong effect.

[Sigxy]

If words don't come across and the child carries on doing what you tell them not to do: then yes, physical discipline will surely help (in most cases). Just don't go overboard on it, just make them realize that if they do things they shouldn't, the rest of the world will make that child pay in the future when it grows up. A -lot- more than just a physical discipline from the parent.

[Acelius]

Posting this since everyone conveniently ignored it earlier in the thread from another poster:

“There’s going to be lot of people that think that a parent absolutely needs to use physical force to raise a compliant child,” says Afifi. “It’s pretty well established that physical abuse has a negative impact on mental health, but this is showing the same effect even when you look at milder forms of physical force. This is saying that physical punishment should not be used on children of any age.”

- http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/0...ental-illness/

George Holden, a professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas who published research last year on the first real-time study of parents physically disciplining their kids, says Afifi’s findings fit into a “large constellation” of studies that show children whose parents use physical force are at greater risk for depression and anxiety. “This is yet another study documenting that this practice can result in unintended negative consequences,” says Holden. “Other studies have shown corporal punishment in childhood carries over to adulthood in terms of aggression, so there’s no reason why it wouldn’t in the area of mental health.”

- http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/0...ental-illness/

A growing body of research has shown that spanking and other forms of physical discipline can pose serious risks to children, but many parents aren’t hearing the message.

“It’s a very controversial area even though the research is extremely telling and very clear and consistent about the negative effects on children,” says Sandra Graham-Bermann, PhD, a psychology professor and principal investigator for the Child Violence and Trauma Laboratory at the University of Michigan. “People get frustrated and hit their kids. Maybe they don’t see there are other options.”

- http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

...most of this article discusses how difficult it is to correlate spanking with behavioral issues later in life, and how many studies don't do a good job of reducing variables in many contexts...
Still, a number of individual studies have found associations between spanking and negative outcomes, even after controlling for preexisting child behavior. So Gershoff says that in spite of the lingering controversy, the safest approach parents can take is not to spank their kids. “Studies continue to find that spanking predicts negative behavior changes—there are no studies showing that kids improve,” she says. And although Ferguson is not convinced that spanking is categorically bad, he is “certainly not an advocate of spanking.” Furthermore, there is a worrying body of research suggesting that parents who spank will later use harsher forms of punishment. “If spanking is not working, and spanking is all the parents are doing, then they’re going to escalate,” Gershoff says.

- https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...bout-spanking/

[anaxie]

I suppose ten years ago and prior getting the belt and grounding was a pretty much the main concept. At this point though with the rabid technology just take their tablet, phone, vidya games or computer power cables ect. Leave them utterly bored out of their mind so they will be little darlings so they don't lose their precious again

So ages 2-3 a stern voice and a light swat to protect them if they are about to make a huge nono that would hurt them immensely. Beyond that if you let technology raise your kid take all their shit away. Make them earn it back with chores and effort. Don't simply return it.

And for big ones for ages 6+ if they disrespect parent . You know like. Fuck you. Or stupid bitch. A little five fingers to the face and a question of what did you say?! Will clear that problem up REAL quick

Don't go.nuts and hit them for every little thing to take out the frustrations of life and god forbid if your a shitlord dad who can't deal with temper and punch or assault the kids your a piece of human fuck. But a pop when blatent complete disrespect occurs warrents a slap or being pressed into the wall the put the fear of god in them. For issues where its not shocking verbal or physical assault to the parents just take their shit away.

Tldr. Break rules lose all your precious technology

Get mouthy or physical prepare to have decency and respect beat into you.

[Raldazzar]

Welcome to the cause of the entitlement of Kids and teens of the 21st Century. Explaining something to someone won't stop them from doing it if they don't care about what you are explaining. Whereas the thought in the back of their mind of "Ï better not do this or I'll get an asswhooping"generally does deter it.

you either have no kids, or your kids are thick. my kid understands consequences, and is able to listen/comprehend just fine

My child has only ever been hit once by my wife, and that was when she almost ran into the road, it was more a panic reaction than a 'beating' (just a slap across the legs) beyond that we have never hit our child, there is no need. shes smart, she understands things. she is kind, caring and sharing. we have never needed to do more then raise our voices. for her, the worst thing in the world would be daddy shouting.

my child is not now, nor will ever be fearful of me thumping her. I flat out disagree with anyone here who thinks that is is needed, or acceptable behaviour.

I see a young mother walking down the road with her kids, one kid hits another. and what does the mother do? thump the kid and say 'don't hit!' .. yeah, fantastic.. the cycle repeats.

[Judgedredd]

yes it does. First, that violence is the supreme authority, and second don't fuck with it. The smart ones will learn that to have a monopoly over the means of coercion is to have power, and as Tiberius said, to have power is to have the world in the palm of your hand.

Fire away, SJW's and libtards.

[Kaganfindel]

If you want the result of your discipline to be a person who behaves within the confines of other peoples' expectations out of fear of reprisals and considers violence an appropriate tool for securing compliance from loved ones, sure! Swat those little fuckers if they step out of line.

If you want the result of your discipline to be a person whose moral compass is more nuanced than doing what he's told so he doesn't get punished, you'll probably need a more nuanced approach to discipline.

[Fasc]

I encourage you to visit your local prison and survey the inmates. Generally speaking, you won't find that a lot of "time outs" happened in their childhood. And heightened aggression and the inability to control oneself - and use violent dominance as a problem-solving tool - are actually hallmarks of childhood abuse. Children model the authority figures in their lives, and that modeling lasts well into adulthood. Control your child with fear and violence, and that's how they'll approach interpersonal problems as they get older. I work in the K-12 system, and knowing how to spot abuse is part of our mandatory reporter training.

What I have found is that not only did they get next to no "time outs" or alternative punishments, they got no punishments at all. In the cases they DID get punishments, they got clearly abusive forms of it: withholding of food, severe physical abuse, sexual abuse, forced homelessness, abandonment, etc. I've been trained in the K-12 system as well, was a high school teacher for 6 years, and a coach for 2 years. It isn't just the negative reinforcement that's the problem, it is the abject LACK of positive reinforcement as well.

Had I only ever gotten yelled at, whipped, and punished by my parents but never got rewarded, hugged, told "I love you", been told "We're proud of you" and so forth... I'd be a very different person (and worse for it). Had I the opposite (all reward, no negativity), I'd also be very different and worse for it. There is a balance that needs striking, not an abolition of a narrow set of negative reinforcement divorced from reason.

That's the trade-off parents make with corporal punishment: short-term compliance at the expense of long-term harm. Its why the APA came out against it 40 years ago, and why no one can point to an accredited and well-regarded body of child psychologists who recommend it. It's all folk-tales and anecdotes and "My mother beat me out of jail."

Then you aren't looking very hard at all and overly relying on the APA only: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_Baumrind

[May90]

Yeah yeah yeah stuff the "you're a monster!" bullshit. A spanking is clearly Nazi Holocaust camps levels of evil...

If you're going to be caught up on the arbitrary shock and horror of a physical touch that results in momentary pain, but not balk at the lasting and permanent damage that not even a raised voice can deal to a child, you have literally no place to chastise me or anyone else whatsoever. There nothing like seeing grown adults defend child levels of understanding that put "hit always bad, talk always good" as some sort of hallmark of good parenting.

Be disgusted all you like, your faux indignant rage is duly noted and ignored. Parenting isn't for the weak willed and there's a reason so many frail children get into college and have the audacity to be surprised when the world doesn't cater to their whims. No one grows without friction in their lives, so get the hell over it.

Not a monster, but this really was disgusting to read, all I'm saying. And your snappy reaction demonstrates that you yourself understand that what you are doing is wrong, so you need to attack everyone who criticizes your methods. Your child is a person, with their own challenges, so spare me your "no one grows without friction": I don't care how you justify it. It's the same justification husbands used over a century ago, when they would beat their wives for not being obedient. Ultimately, spanking, just like wife beating, will be gone from civilizations, and people will look back at you and other "strong willed" parents and say, "Yeah, those were the times with some horrible views".

[Fasc]

Not a monster, but this really was disgusting to read, all I'm saying. And your snappy reaction demonstrates that you yourself understand that what you are doing is wrong, so you need to attack everyone who criticizes your methods. Your child is a person, with their own challenges, so spare me your "no one grows without friction": I don't care how you justify it. It's the same justification husbands used over a century ago, when they would beat their wives for not being obedient. Ultimately, spanking, just like wife beating, will be gone from civilizations, and people will look back at you and other "strong willed" parents and say, "Yeah, those were the times with some horrible views".

Oh boy... more counseling from someone who just got done being overtly disgusted by me...

It is a tired cliche to finger wag the way you did so I gave it the treatment it deserved, mocking derision and dismissal. Especially when you pull a spousal abuse analogy into the play for... reasons? And then you end with "History will prove me right!"

Why should anyone take you seriously? You should hang out with those church ladies more, they could teach you a thing or two about how to properly scold someone while remaining morally superior. My children are people, and I'll be damned if they grow up unable to handle being punished for wrong doing or uncomfortable truths. If you can't handle a bit of conflict or friction in your life, you're quite a stunted individual, and I'll not inflict that immaturity on any of my children.

[Shadowferal]

Not a monster, but this really was disgusting to read, all I'm saying.

You're attempting to tell people how they should raise their child.
What kind of response do you think that truly merits, especially from anyone that doesn't have any children themselves?

Having children and raising them are experiences. Those that have zero experience should really stfu.

[A dot Ham]

i wouldnt hit a dog, why would i hit a kid?

my parents hit me often, i just learned to be more sneaky.

There is a lot of wisdom in that truthfully.

Take any management, parenting, and/or dog training book and you can draw similarities and useful tips. Behavior modification is behavior modification its not an exact science but there are pretty solid methods.

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I have 3 year old twins, I could never hit them, they are just so so little and I love them too much.

On the other hand I am more than happy to take on anyone my own age/size any place any time and beat the living shit out of them.

Okay tough guy.

So age and size determines whether you should or should not hit someone?

This right here guys.

Someone who didn't learn the essence of morality. But was simply told very specific dos and don'ts.

I know you are explicitly saying "punish" but there are far too many parents out there who neglect punishment "because they love their kids too much" stupidity at its finest.

[Shadowferal]

A judgment call on age...depends on the parent and child I should say.

To me, 3 years old might be a bit young.

[dribbles]

So age and size determines whether you should or should not hit someone?

Of course always. There are far more effective ways to punish errant children than resorting to violence. But bullies gonna bully, they tend to be simple people too.

[Fasc]

Of course always. There are far more effective ways to punish errant children than resorting to violence. But bullies gonna bully, they tend to be simple people too.

Scold a child to the point of tears, tell them how terrible they are, deny them any hope of fulfilling any dreams, call them stupid and ugly, dress them in dirty clothes, feed them garbage food, deny them fun activities, confine them to their rooms for hours at a time, etc etc...

BUT DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON THEM YOU BIG BULLY

HINT: Any of the aforementioned punishments or denials can be used to terrible levels of abuse... and also effectively used to properly and lovingly parent. That indicates that it isn't the tool itself, but its application that matters.

PROHINT: Corporal punishment is a tool like any other and can be used and abused as much as any other.

[May90]

You're attempting to tell people how they should raise their child.
What kind of response do you think that truly merits, especially from anyone that doesn't have any children themselves?

Having children and raising them are experiences. Those that have zero experience should really stfu.

You don't need to have an experience in something to know that some ways to do something are wrong. I've never piloted a plane, but I know pretty well that falling asleep as a pilot during landing is not the best way to go about it. Again, some may say, "I've slept during landing as a pilot, and it came out fine." Yeah, nope.

I'm not going to teach someone how to raise their children, but I know something about how NOT to raise them.

Scold a child to the point of tears, tell them how terrible they are, deny them any hope of fulfilling any dreams, call them stupid and ugly, dress them in dirty clothes, feed them garbage food, deny them fun activities, confine them to their rooms for hours at a time, etc etc...

BUT DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON THEM YOU BIG BULLY

Funny how you assume that those who aren't okay with physical violence are okay with these things you've described. Shows how much you are into your methods, defending them to the point of distorting reality. And how you attack everyone who dares to criticize your cold-blooded parenting methods, which reeks of insecurity and immaturity. People like you say "I was spanked and came out fine", while we see how "fine" you really came out. Abusive parenting never leads to anything good, and it is a vicious circle, as children growing up in an abusive family (and yes, spanking is abuse, no matter how you twist it around) don't know better than to do the same to their children. Eventually someone says, "I was abused, and I know better than to inflict the same on my children", while the opposite almost never happens. Which makes me hope that barbaric family interaction will die out eventually.

[Deleted]

What should you teach a kid? That hundreds of mass destruction weapons are nonstop aimed at it? I hope you have some kind god who can delude your entire family, country or whatever.