Men should cry if they feel like it, not bottle it up

[Orlong]

I saw this video:
https://www.facebook.com/DailyMail/v...5641757162233/

Now, in case you hate Facebook or don't have one, the summary is this:
"Why do we tell boys and men to harden up, to grow a pair, to bottle up their feelings? If you feel down, you should speak up, you should cry if you feel like it, you shouldn't bottle it up. It takes guts to show pain."

Now, in case you're wondering why such a campaign even exists, well... of the deaths by suicide in developed nations, male suicides are, on average, three times as higher than women. We are talking about successful suicides here. Now, here's the deal, from what is known, depression and attempted suicides attempts are higher in women... but more men die due to suicide. The issue here is that, due to the fact that men are always expected to be strong, whenever they show weakness, they are told to grow a pair, bottle it up, stop crying and get together. They receive less help on average and they become afraid of showing their emotions due to the constant bickering and shunning from others. And at one point, they have enough and off themselves. Maybe they even tried talking beforehand with someone, only to be told to "man up". And that is the issue and why men should be encouraged to show their feelings even when said feelings are negative. This is why men should be supported as well in their dark moments, not told to grow a pair or man up.

What is your view and what do you think of this?

Real men dont cry, only limp wristed homosexuals and metrosexuals. Real men are strong both physicaly and mentally. Effeminate men have high estrogen levels so they often have weak emotional control like a lot of women

[Khadgar]

You can't see my tears, in the rain.

So I let it rain.

[Polybius]

Read between the lines mister man. I pointed out sex as the most obvious factor, but trickle down from there down the grapevine and it influences your standing in all circles of society.

Apendixes are also part of human evolution, but we often cut them out.

Masturbation is also part of human evolution, but have you ever seen how a person who jerks off all the time looks and acts? Like shit.

Fat is also part of human evolution, it keeps you warm in winter, but do you want to be an obese person with the excuse that you're beautiful just the way yo are? Because you're not, you look like shit and like you don't care about taking care of yourself.

Complaining is also part of human evolution, it gives people who don't want to take control of their lives a feeling of retribution against the powers that be. Do you like hanging around complainers though? They're like cancer.

Yes crying is part of human evolution, and if you bothered reading my entire post, mister pretends-to-be-higher-than-though, you would have clearly noticed I pointed out that crying sometimes is inevitable, just do that in privacy or with someone truly close to you who you wouldn't mind seeing you in that shit state. But don't fucking walk around in society crying your balls off cause your girlfriend dumped you.

Like I said. No emotional intelligence.

It's a nice thing that anyone can freely express how they feel wherever they are. Even anger.

I personally, have never seen anyone cry in public unless it's for attention. The only exceptions I see are when someone tries to hide their face or look away from prying eyes. But either way, this isn't going to reduce a person's chance at anything. An emotionless being like Orlong isn't evolution, it's backwards.
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Real men dont cry, only limp wristed homosexuals and metrosexuals. Real men are strong both physicaly and mentally. Effeminate men have high estrogen levels so they often have weak emotional control like a lot of women

Just lol. So you're a lizard with no hormones.

Your views on homosexuals are cliché. There are gay men who could easily break you and pass as an Average Joe. Secondly, estrogen isn't what makes people "gay." You need to get out more.

There's no strength in suppressing emotions, unless you're into self-harm.

[Damajin]

I think this goes beyond just 'men shouldn't cry' and into what support is actually available when it's needed. Suicide and such was mentioned so it's where I'm going to direct this post.

It fucking sucks that men are often deemed as less worthy of emotional or mental support. I've been waiting for CBT for extreme anxiety for 6 months now. I've been living with it for most of my life, and it's taken that long to consider getting help as it's gotten much worse in the past few years. It's getting to the point that it's going beyond anxiety and into something worse. I've heard nothing from the trust about getting any support since June (I went to my GP in May to start getting things moving).

My ex-partner however, she managed to get CBT for the same issue in less than 2 months. We both live in the same town. One of my work colleagues managed to also get it in 5 weeks as well. Some of my female family members have taken MONTHS off work, then been given the option to return as part time hours at full time wages until they're feeling stable. A girl I used to know around 2 years ago managed to get CBT in 3.5 months, but she's served by a different area healthcare trust. Besides the last one, they've all taken time off of work for it at some point for it.

One of my male friends got almost to breaking point after waiting 8 months for CBT, and it was only through his family and medicine that had been supplied to one of their family members that he managed to get his head a little more stable. I'm not entirely sure he'd still be here if they hadn't helped him out. He still hasn't received any official support even after 15 months.

Whenever I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown, I could never just walk out of what I'm doing to get back to some sort of normal level, I've always been told to "deal with it" and carry on with my job. Working in a job you're really not happy with doesn't help, and dealing with argumentative customers is just pushing things beyond what can be considered manageable. But you've got to carry on just because of the fact that you've got a knob and bollocks.

A large number of females I've worked with or know as friends or otherwise get to walk out, deal with how they're feeling for a while, even going home sometimes, and it's perfectly acceptable. They get to take time off of work because "It's oh so difficult", but then I've always been told that it's just not acceptable to take time off "because you feel anxious". And, you don't have the energy to try and fight it, so you 'man up and deal with it' and end up resenting not only the job, but also the people who were given the option to cope.

In the end, either your stats suffer and you get taken down the disciplinary route, you quit because you can't cope, or you just don't turn up to work and go on sick for a while. Apparently all 3 of these options are better than actually understanding that almost everyone can be affected by each individual or combination of mental conditions, and giving people the flexibility they need to keep it manageable.

Men have breakdowns. Men cry. Men feel something. They get told to man up.
Women have breakdowns. Women cry. Women feel something. They're given time to cope and eased back into work, social situations, etc.



Try saying that if you're ever spending the last day with someone who's unconscious in a hospital bed and is going to be dead tomorrow when your family decide that it's time to switch off their life support.

I've experienced things like this before in my family, and you still don't cry in public. Grief can be shared but you be strong in public and emotional in private. I'm not saying to be a cold robot or anything stupid like that, just contained and seeking emotional release when and where appropriate.

[belfpala]

Sometimes you can't control tears due to how human body works. But imo we should not be slaves to our emotions and let them control us. Otherwise how would that be different from a child who throws a tantrum because it wants a toy?

Learning that your girlfriend of five years is cheating on you is not like wanting a toy.

If you don't understand the difference, well, good luck in life.

[Tijuana]

I saw this video:
https://www.facebook.com/DailyMail/v...5641757162233/

Now, in case you hate Facebook or don't have one, the summary is this:
"Why do we tell boys and men to harden up, to grow a pair, to bottle up their feelings? If you feel down, you should speak up, you should cry if you feel like it, you shouldn't bottle it up. It takes guts to show pain."

Now, in case you're wondering why such a campaign even exists, well... of the deaths by suicide in developed nations, male suicides are, on average, three times as higher than women. We are talking about successful suicides here. Now, here's the deal, from what is known, depression and attempted suicides attempts are higher in women... but more men die due to suicide. The issue here is that, due to the fact that men are always expected to be strong, whenever they show weakness, they are told to grow a pair, bottle it up, stop crying and get together. They receive less help on average and they become afraid of showing their emotions due to the constant bickering and shunning from others. And at one point, they have enough and off themselves. Maybe they even tried talking beforehand with someone, only to be told to "man up". And that is the issue and why men should be encouraged to show their feelings even when said feelings are negative. This is why men should be supported as well in their dark moments, not told to grow a pair or man up.

What is your view and what do you think of this?

Stop crying about not crying.

[Grimbold21]

How about you do whatever you wanna do?

[Karaoke]

I don't want opinions based on how someone feels.

Yeah...good luck with that.

[Deleted]

Learning that your girlfriend of five years is cheating on you is not like wanting a toy.

If you don't understand the difference, well, good luck in life.

Thanks, I already have plenty of luck in life. Don't get cheapass girlfriends would be my advice :P

Still, breaking up and crying like a little girl is not the way to go. Believe what you want. If you let emotions control you that kiddy way. Feeling pain and losing out on it is ok but only if you can get back on track and do what needs to be done further on instead of sullying.

[Judgedredd]

Of course men should cry if they feel like it. In private.

[Violent]

Men crying from physical pain just seems childish. Scream, gnash your teeth, make some faces, punch something or someone, but don't cry.

Piss out a pebble that feels like it's wrapped in glass and wet with lemon juice, then sprinkled with Salt.

I did when I was like 23. I'm not going to lie, I balled my fuckin eyes out for like 15 minutes after. And I don't feel like any less of a man for saying that or whomever knows.

It literally felt like my dick was not only on fire, but freezing cold and bleeding too, all at the same time.

I would LOVE to see the face you make.

[Deleted]

I actually had the impression the skinny jeans/beanie generation was pretty good at crying?

[Deleted]

Piss out a pebble that feels like it's wrapped in glass and wet with lemon juice, then sprinkled with Salt.

I did when I was like 23. I'm not going to lie, I balled my fuckin eyes out for like 15 minutes after. And I don't feel like any less of a man for saying that or whomever knows.

It literally felt like my dick was not only on fire, but freezing cold and bleeding too, all at the same time.

I would LOVE to see the face you make.

Whoa dude... Anything that sets our nether region on fire is fair game when it comes to crying.

[Rojaha]

I saw this video:
https://www.facebook.com/DailyMail/v...5641757162233/

Now, in case you hate Facebook or don't have one, the summary is this:
"Why do we tell boys and men to harden up, to grow a pair, to bottle up their feelings? If you feel down, you should speak up, you should cry if you feel like it, you shouldn't bottle it up. It takes guts to show pain."

Now, in case you're wondering why such a campaign even exists, well... of the deaths by suicide in developed nations, male suicides are, on average, three times as higher than women. We are talking about successful suicides here. Now, here's the deal, from what is known, depression and attempted suicides attempts are higher in women... but more men die due to suicide. The issue here is that, due to the fact that men are always expected to be strong, whenever they show weakness, they are told to grow a pair, bottle it up, stop crying and get together. They receive less help on average and they become afraid of showing their emotions due to the constant bickering and shunning from others. And at one point, they have enough and off themselves. Maybe they even tried talking beforehand with someone, only to be told to "man up". And that is the issue and why men should be encouraged to show their feelings even when said feelings are negative. This is why men should be supported as well in their dark moments, not told to grow a pair or man up.

What is your view and what do you think of this?

Obviously the solution is to get that female suicide rate up. Men are getting the job done. Step your game up, women. Quit crying, grow a pair of ovaries, and wo-man up. Maybe if they spent less time crying, and more time killing themselves, women's successful suicide rates would reach the level of men's.

[nextormento]

I'm not convinced that telling a gender what they should do is a productive exchange. Particularly not when the suggested behavior shows no correlation with the outcome they seek.

[belfpala]

Thanks, I already have plenty of luck in life. Don't get cheapass girlfriends would be my advice :P

Still, breaking up and crying like a little girl is not the way to go. Believe what you want. If you let emotions control you that kiddy way. Feeling pain and losing out on it is ok but only if you can get back on track and do what needs to be done further on instead of sullying.

In the situation I was describing, it's either moving on after some tears, or moving on in anger. I'd rather cry a bit than become an asshole (even though I am one anyway).

[THE Bigzoman]

I don't want opinions based on how someone feels, these are health issues so I want scientific studies backing up any claims.

Men can be unwilling to show emotion and still be encouraged to go to their doctor more often - a campaign encouraging men to go to their GP for a check up every year would do far more than one saying it is okay to cry.

But that would require work.

And most people are lazy.

It's also better pretend to care about one issue when in reality you just have a beef with a societal standard that MIGHT have SOMETHING to do with the issue you're pretending to care about.

[Fahrenheit]

If you find yourself in need of a cry with any regularity maybe you have bigger issues than being able to overtly unleash your emotions.
My anecdotal point of reference. Last time I cried was when I put my dog down. That was 13-14 years ago.

[Deleted]

The Rodge himself bottled up on his feelings. 20 people were unable to dodge the rodge. A real gentleman, if i say so myself.

But in the end, not even the Rodge could dodge the Rodge.

[Dug]

Nothing wrong with having a good cry every now and then.