Why do nice guys exist?

[drivec]

every day I see the most stuck up women call men creeps behind their back because they give them a compliment. just say thankyou you dirty hoe ant no one looking to be your sugar daddy

[Al Gorefiend]

Eh just be mysterious, I guess. And flirty, not necessarily nice.

[minteK917]

LOL, I was partially joking... but there has been some research showing that arranged marriages end in divorce less often.

I think its a little dishonest if it takes the current arranged marriages as model, since most of the culture doing so, also highly discourage divorce, while we pretty much encourage it when a relationship is no longer pleasing. Hell go back to the time of my grand parents, nobody was forced to marry anybody, yet less divorce, it had more to do with the fact that divorce was frowned upon and vilified.

[Daymanmb]

When their methods are quite bad. Like they would never work at all. But still they exist, and there are new males to join their ranks whenever.

I just don't get it. It makes no sense. It's been proven that their methods never ever work, why do people subscribe to their "strategies"?

Listen, you dont have to be an alpha douche to bag chicks or date good looking girls. Manners and chivalry go a long way. The best advice anyone can ever give, is to be yourself. Be confident. At the end of the day, its confidence that attracts women.

[minteK917]

Eh just be mysterious, I guess. And flirty, not necessarily nice.

Flirty can be nice. They are not exclusive, id argue its kinda hard to be flirty and not nice lol.

[Deleted]

In a way, yes. But that could be a plus, for society, for instance. Of course, it could also be really bad for the individual people in the relationship.

We could go back to the good old days, where men (and now women) could have multiple spouses, and or male/female concubines...

A bit off topic, but it is one of the reasons I enjoy the "Marco Polo" show on Netflix.

There has really never been a stable and productive society that featured polyamory, not among the general population (kings and hollywood celebrities are no guide for what a society is generally like)

Monogamy is actually a fairly elegant way of pairing off the population into stable families where each unit has a stake in the common good and the safety and prosperity of the society

We may have to find a new tinder-friendly way of doing things in future - or indeed maybe we go back to the old ways of monogamy

But concubines and polyamory? Eh, I don't think so

[Nobar]

Because there must always be losers in life. And since women hate the passive, they will never be a winner. Alas, this condemns myself to the same fate.

[Daymanmb]

Because there must always be losers in life. And since women hate the passive, they will never be a winner. Alas, this condemns myself to the same fate.

Being a nice person = being passive? I think youre confused.

[minteK917]

In a way, yes. But that could be a plus, for society, for instance. Of course, it could also be really bad for the individual people in the relationship.

We could go back to the good old days, where men (and now women) could have multiple spouses, and or male/female concubines...

A bit off topic, but it is one of the reasons I enjoy the "Marco Polo" show on Netflix.

This is kind of a myth that human were ever that big on Polygamy in general. Humans were more about moving from one partner to the next. I think we are kinda back there in the west? We were never like lion pride with a huge male with the territory, the only part were alpha male ever existed is for leadership of groups. Males of the same groups cooperated all the time. We are more similar to bonobos, but with even larger group cooperation and just like bonobos, we tend to tie to a single person for a certain amount of time and then move on to another.

[Sosoulsu]

Ah, another deep and insightful MMO-C post.

Seriously. Do not breed. Any of you.

I don't think that's much of a concern lol

[Garnier Fructis]

I love how 'nice = beta.'

Try being a confident non-asshole instead.

[Nobar]

Being a nice person = being passive? I think youre confused.

Taking the lead is mostly exclusive with being a nice guy.

[Crissi]

Taking the lead is mostly exclusive with being a nice guy.

Not necessarily. Southern gentleman is a thing, at least in my area. Takes the lead, but does so in a nice way.

[Garnier Fructis]

Taking the lead is mostly exclusive with being a nice guy.

I guess this is what assholes have to tell themselves to justify their own asshole-ness.

[Daymanmb]

Taking the lead is mostly exclusive with being a nice guy.

So youre saying nice people are incapable of being assertive? You guys are nuts.. Its like you learned about what it is to be a man from TV and movies alone.. And just to make it clear, this isnt A Brave New World, and we're not a pack of wolves, its never as cut and dry as alpha, beta, omega..

[Wiltrold]

How about.. Just being yourself?..

[Nobar]

So youre saying nice people are incapable of being assertive? You guys are nuts.. Its like you learned about what it is to be a man from TV and movies alone..

I'm speaking from my own personal experience. And being a nice guy has failed every single time.

[Daymanmb]

I'm speaking from my own personal experience. And being a nice guy has failed every single time.

Egotistical fallacy.

[minteK917]

I think it depends on the people. You can find something very attractive (advice, looks, personality,etc) in more than one person, and want to spend your time with both. My only real issue with polyamory, etc, was that it usually just involved one man with many wives... so long as we see both men and women equally in that situation, I really have no issue with it.

Bonobos can cheat on each other too, hell they can have dispute and such. Bonobos are pretty nice to know ancient humans pattern really. Polygamy is more about the pleasure vs emotion here. I personally dont think id be able to love 5 wives at the same time, theyd be more like servants than wives, hence its more about my pleasure than emotions. Id probably bound with one of them and she would be my number one lol.

[minteK917]

It is usually more about pleasure than emotion, yes. But the disputes are usually ego driven, or broken trust, which is a bit different. In a true polyamory relationship(one that is done right), everyone involved knows what is going on. So there is no breach of trust.

Like I said though, it is not for everyone; it could work if some cultural hangups are worked out first, and those are still pretty ingrained in our society.

I dont think this is anytime soon, mabye when we are all cyborgs and the body no longer matters lol. Even with all our current freedom, human always seems to prefer to be intimate on a pretty exclusive level. (I did not say sex). Intimacy on that level with many people at the same time seems pretty awkward for most, myself included.