If a wife is raped and gets pregnant from the rapist, is it ok for the husband...

[Hctaz]

The first part of my post was just context in that raising another mans child is not uncommon. However if you read my second part you would see I actually agree with you.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I knew you were agreeing with me and I was specifically quoting your post to get a point across since you are a perfect example. You said you met a woman with a kid and there are many people in this thread saying that raising a rapist's kid is the same thing as finding a girl who already had a kid. But you, as somebody who has met a lady with a previous child, has stated that it isn't the case. That adopting a child who is put inside your woman while you two were together is something that's very different.

[Thetruth1400]

Definitely understand both people's positions, and neither is right or wrong.

Basically it comes down to this; One of them is going to have to change their minds or they might as well just call it ended now.

- She has to give in and realize the husband is not willing to raise the child of a rapist, and will most likely leave her if she doesn't get the abortion, thereby being a single parent with no income from the second parent. Likewise, if he doesn't end up in jail or does his time and insists on visitation rights, he may well get it.

- He would have to accept that she was raped through no choice of her own, and the kid likewise had no say in being created. No, the kid isn't biologically his, but that doesn't mean he couldn't be a father to it. Likewise, the rapist father may seek parental visitation rights. If he is willing to deal with all the issues both in her life now and all the ones that will / can come in the future, then he has to just suck it up and deal.

[Deleted]

I mean, if you're just going to accuse me of arguing in bad faith, and while pushing your own views into my lap to defend no less, I don't think there's anything to be gained from actually responding. I really don't think the idea that people should take their vows or marriage a bit more seriously should be controversial or offensive, but apparently I'm wrong.

Let's see, to avoid having to say that you either want the whole package or none of it. Which is all what I've been asking by pointing out that cherry picking those parts which are positive and beneficial to you is not going to fly and that basing your "it's just" on current mainstream views is a very flimsy thing to do as those shift tremendously over time you basically just went full "I'm not gonna talk to you anymore".

I wasn't accusing you of arguing in bad faith before but now this makes it feel as if you are. And I don't agree nor disagree on whether people should take their marriage vowws more seriously. I was merely inquiring on whether you want it to apply to both genders and whether you want it to apply to wider society in general. Because you can not have one without the others. They are intrinsically tied. That is all.

Never said it was a smart condition, just that it IS a condition.

Well it is not a condition if it is willy nilly applied based on situation and whom gets hit with it. That is just arbitary tyranny to the gain of some from the loss of others.

If you want to read it that way...(and you'd only want to because...?)

Because it's what you've been doing?

Since you insist on reading things incorrectly...and likely need things spelled out...such as the original post, I'll type it slow and use small words...Man doesn't want to father someone else's child, a child born of rape. Which says how much he loves the wife because now he wants to abandon her...

The first half of your sentence is just a personal attack so I shall ignore that one The second half is a claim that not wanting to raise the child of another man, one the mother DECIDED to have is somehow proof he didn't love her. So her having the child is not proof she doesn't love him? Actually wanting to keep the child of another man around as a daily reminder for the husband is not proof she doesn't love him? Throwing the child onto him is not proof she doesn't love him?

Just to point out that such an accusation is absurd. As it proofs no such thing in either case.

Oh hell, you are a child. Do us all a favor and don't breed.

>Responds to being told that personal attacks serve no purpose with more personal attacks. Really?

Indeed, I would posit to say that the husbands happiness is predicated upon the wife's own well-being and happiness.

Okay, at least you are being honest here. You are admitting that for you the husband comes last of all if at all. It's Wife > Child > Rapist > Husband. He only exists to make her happy, which is supposed to be his happiness. In the other way around she does not have any such obligation and only needs to look after herself?

[Deleted]

No they should follow the United state's example, or the west in general when it comes to women's rights

Inb4 you disagree

Don't kid yourself, the west is the world's leader in equality, eastern society has a long way to go

I agree, but I doubt they'd make such a drastic step (or any at all).

[Louisa Bannon]

If Mr. Husband insists upon putting the rape between the him and his wife then he's refusing to be supportive at all. Which says exactly how much he loves her to begin with. Which isn't much. He wasn't there when he need her the most (shit happens, I get that) but now refuses to be there for her afterward? No, that ain't no man seeing his marriage as "we" or "us." That a selfish man-child that is only concerned about "me."

Man-child? Really? You're trying to convince people that whatever crazy thing the wife wants to do somehow overrides every possible legitimate concern or objection the husband may have by calling him a rude name. Yes, that will work...

I could truly love a partner but I am not going to support every fool notion that might enter their head. I love myself enough to know the difference between when its time to dig in my heels and support my partner and when its time to move on.

The wife has been through a rough situation but she doesn't now get to unilaterally make decisions effecting approx 20 years of marital life without consulting her husband's opinions on the matter. Full fucking stop.

As an aside, not gonna check 30+ pages only to discover that the OP has never returned to make a further comment in this thread. I found that foreseeable enough.

[haxartus]

Actually, what's the problem with the child not being biologically yours ? How can you tell ? What difference does it make to you ?

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

Actually, what's the problem with the child not being biologically yours ? How can you tell ? What difference does it make to you ?

In this case it would be a living testament to his wife's rape. Not the child's fault of course...but still.

[haxartus]

In this case it would be a living testament to his wife's rape. Not the child's fault of course...but still.

That means you're weak and can't handle the truth, so you prefer to forget it and erase all evidence it happened.

[Snuffleupagus]

That means you're weak and can't handle the truth, so you prefer to forget it and erase all evidence it happened.

Bit of a stretch. All over the animal kingdom, males traditionally pick off the children of other males. It's just how animals (which we are, by the way) are wired.

On topic, OP, your friend is well within his rights to leave and is under no obligation to raise another mans child. People seem to bring up the big bad boogey man of alimony/child support (did you know these aren't the same thing?) and forget that unless he has agreed to raise the child and then backed out, then he is not on the hook for anything.

It is a very rare judge that will not see that.

[Lupinemancer]

If she is so religious why is she so keen on keeping a child that is not her husband's?
That is exactly why she should want an abort, to get rid of that "bastard" child.

[Snuffleupagus]

If she is so religious why is she so keen on keeping a child that is not her husband's?
That is exactly why she should want an abort, to get rid of that "bastard" child.

Because religious beliefs sometimes tell a person that the value of a fetus is equal to that of a person who has been born.

I'm not saying it's right, but your reasoning for why she should want to abort is a little misguided.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

If she is so religious why is she so keen on keeping a child that is not her husband's?
That is exactly why she should want an abort, to get rid of that "bastard" child.

Because her religious beliefs tell her that abortion is wrong and that her God has a plan.

[Mehrunes]

Well, you have an opinion.
A shitty opinion, but you have one.

You favor the man that abandons the wife...ok...That's your conclusion congratulations.

Look at all the mentions of the wife one way or another in what I posted. *Meanwhile in the land of illiteracy* Well, no wonder you get banned when the fact that people don't subscribe to your bullshit One True Worldview triggers you so much you start throwing a tantrum so big it makes you lose reading comprehension.

Maybe a step father could raise this child into a healthy adult.

How a child of rape was created wasn't his or her fault. There's responsibility then there's love.

You are a soulless demon, Darth Nihilus. I'm glad The Exile killed you. You know she loved Revan. He remembers her.

Fuck off with your idiotic projecting of people's avatars onto them. It got boring years ago. And what a step father could achieve is irrelevant to what I said and so is how the child was conceived. So while you're busy fucking off, take logic classes.

You are speaking in absolutes. Your perspective is not the perspective of others.

I know it is difficult to conceptualize, but other people think differently than you!

Coming from the person who just a post earlier said that people who think differently from them or Atsawin on this topic do so because they "are probably not mature enough to conceptualize a long-term, loving relationship" and would need "a long time to really understand what Atsawin means"... The amount of self-awareness exhibited on MMO-C never ceases to amaze me.

[haxartus]

Bit of a stretch. All over the animal kingdom, males traditionally pick off the children of other males. It's just how animals (which we are, by the way) are wired.

So the next argument is "it's how animals do it" ?

[Mosotti]

Because her religious beliefs tell her that abortion is wrong and that her God has a plan.

To be fucked in a back alley and filled with rapist juice and give birth to the rapist offspring, who in the end will become the new messiah. Sounds like a good plan from god, good game, god!

[Snuffleupagus]

So the next argument is "it's how animals do it" ?

It's incredibly arrogant to think that animal impulses do not shape the way people behave or think.

We try not to kill babies, so leaving is generally a better alternative.

- - - Updated - - -

To be fucked in a back alley and filled with rapist juice and give birth to the rapist offspring, who in the end will become the new messiah. Sounds like a good plan from god, good game, god!

Her body, her choice.

[haxartus]

It's incredibly arrogant to think that animal impulses do not shape the way people behave or think.

Of course they do, but if you're making life decisions based on animal instincts, maybe you're not worth it and the wife in question is indeed better if she finds someone else.

[Deleted]

Of course they do, but if you're making life decisions based on animal instincts, maybe you're not worth it and the wife in question is indeed better if she finds someone else.

Same can be said about the woman, if she is making life decisions based on some archaic notion of some sort of god then maybe he is better off if he finds someone else.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

To be fucked in a back alley and filled with rapist juice and give birth to the rapist offspring, who in the end will become the new messiah. Sounds like a good plan from god, good game, god!

The Lord works in mysterious ways, I suppose.

I'm not saying I agree with her... just what her motivations might be.

[Stacyrect]

No court anywhere in the world will let a man force a woman to get an abortion.

Plenty of places in the world. Plenty more where they'd just kill the woman