One in three say they can't afford to get married as cost rises to £27,000

[primalmatter]

I can't speak for most places, but it was more like ~$200 or $250 for me to get a license and officiant.

Still it is only a day or twos pay for most people I don't see how they can't afford it.

[Elim Garak]

I like the idea of rather than a formal wedding just having a big party -- which would cost significantly less.

Especially if all the friends and relatives worth inviting would chip in as they should.

[Theodarzna]

Get married in the woods by a tree, in the name of the Old Gods and the New.

[Xandrigity]

You guys didn't buy into weddings should be a celebration with loved ones huh?

In my case not really. We had a lovely personal ceremony and spend several weeks visiting my husbands family on the coast in a villa in Sardinia Italy afterwards. After all shouldn't a wedding be what the couple wants and not trying to spend a lot to impress friends or family?

[Lenonis]

Probably goes without saying, but the cost of a wedding is less important than how much that represents in terms of income. A $500,000/yr power couple having a $50,000 wedding is a whole lot different than two minimum wage workers spending that on a wedding.

Same goes for the ring. Price is all relative -- and the question become how much of your disposable income/future do you want to put towards one day of festivities?

Plus we haven't talked about honeymoons or other costs that are tangentially related.

I generally encourage people to look at what they're potentially giving up if they spend the money on a wedding. Down payments on a house is a pretty big one. There's also family planning often involved that a big expenditure like a wedding could create problems.

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Especially if all the friends and relatives worth inviting would chip in as they should.

One thing my friends did which I really liked was instead of asking for money or anything like that they had their honeymoon broken down on a website and you could buy them pieces of their honeymoon. Like cover the cost of a hotel night stay, or buy them a tour or a meal at a restaurant. I thought that was a great way of making something typically impersonal into something more personal, plus I got a glimpse into their honeymoon plans and that was cool.

[Tennis]

You can have a celebration for loved ones with a significantly lower price tag. The problem is the expectations around weddings that drive up the price -- and frankly some flat out price gouging that happened in that particular industry.

I like the idea of rather than a formal wedding just having a big party -- which would cost significantly less.

I've heard of some people saying they won't attend a wedding if there isn't an open bar. I guess it depends on what crowd you're in.

[Captain N]

And I'd call that a really nice illusion. My parents were poor farmer kids, they got the JoP marriage with $100 rings( has did most of their brothers\sisters\cousins). Any notion that you need to spend X amount on a ring\wedding is more about what the industry wants and less about practical advice.

Some people use the cost of the ring as how strong your feelings are for that person. It's usually not the bride either but her circle of friends.

I had my wife build her own engagement ring -- she settled on a white gold band and an alexandrite center stone. The whole thing came to about $1500 and she absolutely adores it because it matches her personality. One of her friends (believing I picked out the ring) said it looked "cheap" and that I didn't care enough to get her a "real ring".

....my wife no longer associates with that person.

[kail]

To be fair, part of the original reason for that was that if you can't set aside 2 months of income, you probably aren't financially stable enough to be getting married.

Buying something just to prove I can afford it? Yea...that is still a waste.

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Get married in the woods by a tree, in the name of the Old Gods and the New.

I think you meant the Red God.

[Tennis]

Some people use the cost of the ring as how strong your feelings are for that person. It's usually not the bride either but her circle of friends.

I had my wife build her own engagement ring -- she settled on a white gold band and an alexandrite center stone. The whole thing came to about $1500 and she absolutely adores it because it matches her personality. One of her friends (believing I picked out the ring) said it looked "cheap" and that I didn't care enough to get her a "real ring".

....my wife no longer associates with that person.

Did your wife's family and friends agree with you making her buy her own ring?

[Eazy]

So they can afford to get married, but they can't afford to have an extravagant wedding ceremony. I don't see a reason to care.

Exactly. /10char

[Shahad]

Did your wife's family and friends agree with you making her buy her own ring?

I don't think that's what he said. He just said his wife picked the ring she wanted, not who paid for it.

[Captain N]

Did your wife's family and friends agree with you making her buy her own ring?

I didn't make her buy her own ring. I let her build her own ring. She picked out the band, the stone, and the cut of the stone. I paid for the ring.

[Tennis]

In my case not really. We had a lovely personal ceremony and spend several weeks visiting my husbands family on the coast in a villa in Sardinia Italy afterwards. After all shouldn't a wedding be what the couple wants and not trying to spend a lot to impress friends or family?

It should be. However if parents have varying expectations then the marriage can get started on rocky terms. I've heard some pretty scary stories with the parents wanting a really large wedding and to invite everyone.

[Theodarzna]

I think you meant the Red God.

In this case I don't want to pay the cost for fire wood for a human sacrifice, what am I made of money?

[Xandrigity]

It should be. However if parents have varying expectations then the marriage can get started on rocky terms. I've heard some pretty scary stories with the parents wanting a really large wedding and to invite everyone.

People should no worry so much about what their parents want. Once your an adult and out of the house, live your own life. If your parents aren't happy well that's their problem.

[Lenonis]

I've heard of some people saying they won't attend a wedding if there isn't an open bar. I guess it depends on what crowd you're in.

I do wonder how much people actually follow through with that though. I mean, I've done my share of groaning when I find out a wedding is a cash bar or just beer/wine or whatever. But that isn't how I decide if I'm going to attend.

But you can still have an open bar at a wedding celebration and not have the price tag at 27,000.

[Independent voter]

It's hard to say no to the woman cause a wedding is such a big deal for them and it only happens once. So you got to spend $5 grand on a ring, give money to the preacher, rent the hall, buy the kegs of beer, buy a cake, etc. The groom is just there for decoration.

[Xandrigity]

I do wonder how much people actually follow through with that though. I mean, I've done my share of groaning when I find out a wedding is a cash bar or just beer/wine or whatever. But that isn't how I decide if I'm going to attend.

But you can still have an open bar at a wedding celebration and not have the price tag at 27,000.

Yea if you stick to beer and wine it can be conciderly less.

[Tennis]

I didn't make her buy her own ring. I let her build her own ring. She picked out the band, the stone, and the cut of the stone. I paid for the ring.

I see. It's good that your wife doesn't associate with that person anymore. People like that will just have a negative influence on her and the marriage.

[Elim Garak]

I've heard of some people saying they won't attend a wedding if there isn't an open bar..

And why would anyone WANT such people at their wedding?