Was I in the wrong here?

[Deleted]

It sounds like you let your dislike of this family taint your actions. Taking the chocolates off him is one thing, but after the first incident you should have removed them from the reach of a 5-6 year old child. Taking him off the bookcase is one thing, but "laying into him" is another, its a kid. If you yelled at my child I'd have probably lost it an decked you. He might be a brat but its not your business to yell at someone else's child.

When you fail as a parent to act in this situation then you force the home owner to act. If you do not like this, then you should have acted, this guy is not to blame.

[Cuppy]

It's not about parenting another kid, it's about making sure the child respects YOUR home.

It's a parental DUTY to forge that information in that undeveloped little skull - respect others.

[Deleted]

You did right. And as bonus you know what to do to force them to leave. if they will visit you next time.

[TITAN308]

If you yelled at my child I'd have probably lost it an decked you.

And you would wonder why your kid would be acting like a turd?

Are there parents here who really don't understand their child is an extension of themselves?

That or you just plop them in front of a TV for hours on end as a babysitter. Someone is raising the kid and teaching them how to act, either the parents, the television, or something else.

[Deleted]

And you would wonder why your kid would be acting like a turd?

Are there parents here who really don't understand their child is an extension of themselves?

That or you just plop them in front of a TV for hours on end as a babysitter. Someone is raising the kid and teaching them how to act, either the parents, the television, or something else.

Yeah, and honestly, there's few things better than a literal show of force by softly pinning a kid to the ground. It's also a convenient demonstration of "you're staying until you listen to me".

And to everyone drooling at the thought of violence here, you really don't need that much power to pin a kid to the ground :^)

[Deleted]

Shitty kid and shitty parents. The kids mom is an idiot and is most likely raising satan jr.

[Deleted]

Honestly, it's not even direct family so F them?

And tbh, even if they were close family I woudn't have tolerated it.

[Guyv3r]

Your home, your rules. Either they respect them or...

[Hottage]

Tell them they aren't welcome anymore and send them any vet bills.

I can't abide parents who are not only terrible at disciplining their children, but also actively defend shitty behaviour.

[cface]

Exactly your home, your rules. I would never invite those shitty folks again. I can't stand such shitty children and parents

[Garnier Fructis]

Are there parents here who really don't understand their child is an extension of themselves?

Yes. I'm pretty sure every bad parent fails to realize this.

I was on a 'vacation' once where I had to constantly apologize to shop owners because the son of one of my extended family members would constantly grab shit and leave the shop. The rest of my family sees a nice and courteous man. But I see a scumbag, because he raised a scumbag.

[Vayshan]

Just stop giving shit. Isn't your kid who is crushed under that bookshelf, or your kid to get that diabetes and obesity. Just stop parenting other kids.

No but it's the kid's mess he has to live with (cleaning up, (very) sick dog, damage to his property etc). If the mom was doing her job properly no one else would have to parent her kid. It was clear that discipline was not used in the child's parenting. Especially when the little rat licks all the chocolates, a clear lack of proper upbringing and manners.

[Deleted]

im sorry some of your family is shit :c
i if your wife was bussy you are totally in the right, else i would suggest she talked to them, since it was her side of the family

[zenkai]

Don't ever touch or yell at other peoples kids without singed documentation, period. Ask once, then go get the parent. Kick them all out if necessary, but let the parent know your deal. First time is expected, because people are crazy and especially young ones, this is what you sign on for when having people over. More people = more crazy expected. If you don't like crazy, don't invite people with kids to your house. Different kids have different ideas about the word No at different stages, usually because of parents.

If a kid is in my house climbing furniture, I rather have a pissed off mom than lawsuit from him falling and breaking something.

[Sandraudiga]

When you fail as a parent to act in this situation then you force the home owner to act. If you do not like this, then you should have acted, this guy is not to blame.

He is responsible for his own actions, bad parents don't excuse "laying into" someone else's kid. What he should have done was tell the parents to leave and not invite them back.

- - - Updated - - -

And you would wonder why your kid would be acting like a turd?

Are there parents here who really don't understand their child is an extension of themselves?

That or you just plop them in front of a TV for hours on end as a babysitter. Someone is raising the kid and teaching them how to act, either the parents, the television, or something else.

Like I just said to someone else, bad parents don't give someone else the right to "lay into" the kid. He should have asked the parents to leave and refuse to invite them back further.

[Deleted]

He is responsible for his own actions, bad parents don't excuse "laying into" someone else's kid. What he should have done was tell the parents to leave and not invite them back.

- - - Updated - - -



Like I just said to someone else, bad parents don't give someone else the right to "lay into" the kid. He should have asked the parents to leave and refuse to invite them back further.

Fuck yea he is responsible for his own actions, and so are the parents, by not acting they forced the home owner to act. The only thing that could have changed this is the parents acting, but they did not. If you do not want someone else to "laying into" your kid then you are responsible for not letting it get that far, that is not someone else their faults, it is yours and yours alone.

[Shadowferal]

Kid's a brat.

He's at that age when a spanking would do him a lot of good.

[Sandraudiga]

Fuck yea he is responsible for his own actions, and so are the parents, by not acting they forced the home owner to act. The only thing that could have changed this is the parents acting, but they did not. If you do not want someone else to "laying into" your kid then you are responsible for not letting it get that far, that is not someone else their faults, it is yours and yours alone.

I disagree. He can, and should, ask them to leave but nothing gives him the right to discipline someone else's child, not even the kids parents being wankers.

[Deleted]

I guess I would have gone more with the approach to tell the parents, that they are not welcome in my house anymore until they teach their kid not to steal. And maybe tell them to pay for the chocolate. Which they wouldn't have, I guess, but that's on them then, they are the douches. After grabbing the kid and getting into a fight with the kid himself you can be of two hearts about who was in the right. If you hadn't touched the kid, there would be no doubt.

[GarlicGuy]

OK OP here, and my final post on this:

1. Dogs are fine, but one did sound like he was going to vomit so I put him outside... when he came back in he was fine. I don't know if he vomited or not.

2. I took the boy by the waist and put him on the floor standing up. No more force than was needed to get him off the bookcase.

3. "Laid into" meant that I very clearly, and loudly, told him that this was not acceptable in my house. I am loud anyway, but I am sure I was a bit louder than normal.

4. Which made me more upset? The chocolate or the climbing on the bookcase? Both, equally, I believe.

5. I would probably do the same thing again. I have twins, and if they had ever done this there would have been consequences for them.

6. The point about the $20 per pound of chocolate was that I think $20 per pound is kind of pricey, and I bought 3 pounds for the party, and had he gotten away with it, he would have eaten about $30 of it. Then probably have gotten sick... and who knows if he's vomiting in my home?

For those who say they would commit violence against me..... well great. The police are a phone call away, and I would have pressed charges. Is it really worth all that when you didn't control your own kid, and I had to step in and do your job? I mean, I did tell the mom about the first time, and she laughed it off. Should I expect her to act differently the second time?