Sexy or Abusive? (Ageism and Lap Dances)

[shadowmouse]

Once again, not enough coffee and life has made my brain hurt.

A caretaker at an assisted living center who police say was filmed performing a sexually provocative dance on a 100-year-old resident was doing it as a prank and trying to make the man feel good, her attorney said.

Brittany Fultz, 26, pleaded not guilty to gross sexual imposition Tuesday. Police said she showed her breasts and buttocks while she danced in front of and on the man in December.

Investigators said the man has dementia, but Fultz's attorney said the resident could have told her to stop but didn't.

"The man knew exactly what was going on and had no problem whatsoever with it," defense attorney Geoffrey Oglesby said Wednesday.

Source: https://www.yahoo.com/news/caretaker...140112853.html

As an additional note, here's some information about the offense that was charged:

To be charged with gross sexual imposition, you must allegedly have had some form of sexual contact with another person (not your spouse) or caused them to have it with you, or caused two other people to have sexual contact, when any of the following applies:
...
The other person or one of the other people has a mental or physical condition or is old enough that they couldn’t resist or consent

http://www.columbuscriminalattorney....al-imposition/

On one hand, we sometimes hear some pretty shocking things about how the elderly get treated in such facilities. I can see how taking a video of this kind of thing could be a way to make fun of someone with dementia -- a kind of "look at me I'm 26 and this geezer is 100 -- and that's inappropriate.

On the other hand, while I'm not to 100 yet, I'm past the halfway point and edging up on 60%. That being the case, I have a bit of a WTF moment contemplating the idea that at some point I'm going to be considered too old to think for myself without proof of any loss of cognitive function. Hey! We've got folks on the Supreme Court who are closer to 100 than I am. Grainy booking photos aren't flattering, but I'd like to think that if I should reach 100 they'll be able to say of me: "The man knew exactly what was going on and had no problem whatsoever with it".

So, what are your thoughts on the incident? Most of you are even further from 100 than I am, but what do you think about ageism? You're probably going to live even longer. Are you ready to be told one day that you're so old that you can't consent to something like a lap dance?

[Fencers]

She was a caretaker. Super unprofessional.

Even if the man consented, the caretaker if employed by the facility should be fired at the least. That man's family should sue the heck out of the facility and the caretaker too.

[Independent voter]

If I was 90 years old I would be grateful, especially if she gave me an election.

[Celista]

Completely inappropriate, she was his caretaker. They're not prisoners at nursing homes, if he wanted a lap dance I'm sure he could have been wheeled down the street to the strip club.

On the other hand, while I'm not to 100 yet, I'm past the halfway point and edging up on 60%. That being the case, I have a bit of a WTF moment contemplating the idea that at some point I'm going to be considered too old to think for myself without proof of any loss of cognitive function. Hey! We've got folks on the Supreme Court who are closer to 100 than I am. Grainy booking photos aren't flattering, but I'd like to think that if I should reach 100 they'll be able to say of me: "The man knew exactly what was going on and had no problem whatsoever with it".

I met a man who was climbing mountains well into his 90s, it's quite possible to be self-sufficient at that age. Take care of yourself now. Low-carbohydrate diets are now thought to be a preventative tool in regards to the development of dementia and other cognitive disorders, you can mitigate muscle loss with progressive overload strength training.

[Bapestar]

He was ok with it. Who gives a shit.

[Sail into the wind]

Well, she's been caught on tape, so that's pretty GG as far as denying that anything happened goes. Could be a case of trying to put some money aside for college? I also have a hard time believing that she's 26 years old based on the mugshot, but I digest.

On the other hand, while I'm not to 100 yet, I'm past the halfway point and edging up on 60%. That being the case, I have a bit of a WTF moment contemplating the idea that at some point I'm going to be considered too old to think for myself without proof of any loss of cognitive function. Hey! We've got folks on the Supreme Court who are closer to 100 than I am. Grainy booking photos aren't flattering, but I'd like to think that if I should reach 100 they'll be able to say of me: "The man knew exactly what was going on and had no problem whatsoever with it".

I think all these things go out the window once you start wearing adult diapers.

[PACOX]

Did he consent?

It's unprofessional as unprofessional can be, but was he cool with it? Can't really give too many cares if he was cool with it.

[Hashtronaut]

Depends how bad the dementia is, that's a pretty vague term almost anyone who is that old is going to have some sort of memory loss and can be classified as "having dementia". So if its mild and he's in a relative coherent state then yeah go for it, he probably had a good time.

If the guy was in the chair drooling -not coherent in anyway type of dementia- then that's kind messed up.

[Felya]

If I was 90 years old I would be grateful, especially if she gave me an election.

With dementia, you'll always be 21...

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

Just a prank, bro

[yetgdhfgh]

I know a friend who works in a OAP home and you would not believe what those bored, horny old devils get up to!!

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

On the other hand, while I'm not to 100 yet, I'm past the halfway point and edging up on 60%. That being the case, I have a bit of a WTF moment contemplating the idea that at some point I'm going to be considered too old to think for myself without proof of any loss of cognitive function.

The investigators say the man has dementia. You don't consider that a loss of cognitive function?

[Sam the Wiser]

Holy shit! Did the man even complain? A lap dance at 100 years old?! I'd be crying tears of joy.

[Dug]

I've never heard of someone at 100 with dementia that was actually okay and in a state of mind to request such a thing but hey. Either way that's pretty damn unprofessional of her. As for the "abuse" aspect.. eh we don't know exactly what was said or the extend of his dementia so maybe he was just an old horn dog and wanted some tail, who knows? Don't think giving lap dances is in the proper care giving handbook however

[Deleted]

All I'm going to say is this: Once I'm 100 years old, bring in the bitches!

[Lady Dragonheart]

I'm a bit on the fence about this one... Naturally, I think should be fired, as it is unprofessional considering that she works there. However, as far as I understand he didn't fight her or decline her, the only issue being that she filmed it and he has dementia. That makes for a lot of red tape when it comes to suing, in general. It is possible for the family to sue her, but I'm not sure they could sue the Assisted Living Center.

Why the hell would you film that, even as a prank... :|
In the end, it really matters on either how spiteful the family is or how out-for-money they are. If she cannot acquire a halfway decent lawyer, she's going to be heavily sued while possibly getting added to the sex-offender registry for life... Regardless, if she has any licences, they're gone now, and she'll likely be blacklisted from care-giving.

[shadowmouse]

@Fencers Unprofessional, and that's a matter for the employer to address. Should the family sue? Perhaps that's a bit trickier. As @Celista notes, in theory he isn't a prisoner. The family may be paying for his care, but he is also an adult. Dementia is an awkward condition for this kind of thing because it is a wide range of problems, sometimes with a mix of good and bad days. Consider the following, which refers to Sandra O'Connor's husband.

An official with the assisted living center was quoted as saying people with Alzheimer's need intimacy and sometimes develop romantic attachments with fellow patients.

Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/justice-...inds-new-love/

And even:

According to The Times of London, Chaseley nursing home in Eastbourne, England, is accused of regularly scheduling visits with sex workers, who meet residents in a special room and put a “special red sock” on the door for privacy. Caregivers are said to check on the rooms every fifteen minutes, the paper reported.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2577295.html

@Sicari Without further information, I don' think that simply invoking dementia is sufficient to say he is incapable of forming consent. For my WTF issue the law already addresses people with mental conditions, so why is age -- in and of itself -- a reason for government to criminalize something?

@Sail into the wind I know, a toss off quip about age, but it does go back to my questions about ageism. It is the same kind of stereotype based humor that ethnic groups have tried to get people to move past. The difference of course, is that any one of us is apt to wake up one day and find we've slipped into being considered elderly.

@yetgdhfgh I'd believe it. I've also known people who work in that environment.

[Mistame]

He was ok with it. Who gives a shit.

Pretty much my take on it. Assuming I make it old age, someone trying to say I can't "make it rain" because I forget shit is likely to find out just how feisty an old bastard can be.

[draganid]

unprofessional and should be fired? yes of course.

criminal charges? fuck no. i hope when im that old something similar happens

[Sunseeker]

Sexual abuse is performing any sexual act against the will of another person. Also, as a person in the position of a caregiver, that was really stupid.