How much of a dealbreaker is it if a woman doesn't want kids?

[Deleted]

Deal breaker, but honestly you need to make sure it's out in the open from the start. Relationships are full of compromises big and small. If it's something neither of you will compromise on well they need to ask themselves will they be happy in 'X' amount of years. Just because it's her body and she doesn't want to have kids doesn't mean your future happiness has to take a nose dive and i'm not saying force her to have kid's i'm saying that some people need children in their relationships to feel complete, reproducing is a natural bi-product of biological creatures. There are plenty fish in the sea, find someone more compatible with you (male or female).

[The Glitch]

I've been with my hubby for over 14 years now, and we were always up front from the start about our wants for the future, and children were something both of never wanted, as the years went on, we both softened on the subject, by no means are we champing at the bit to start a family, but we both realise that IF it were to happen, it wouldn't be the *argh OMG run* situation we felt it would be for us when we were younger.

I will admit as a woman, turning 35 this year, my hormones/body clock are kicking in from a natural basis. I can definitely feel my body telling me *you don't have much longer before you can't have babies* and now when I see my friends kids etc, I get a big gaga and soppy. That soon goes away when they start screaming and such though haha.

I shall be happy being the amazing Auntie that will gladly babysit, and gladly hand them back over to their parents after a few days. lol.

So I guess these are things that I feel should be spoken about early-ish on in a relationship, so as not to waste one an others time, because on either side of the want/do not want , it surely will cause conflict later on, that will more than likely cause more pain, than cutting it off early.

[Stelio Kontos]

Deal-breaker, completely.

But then again, I probably wouldn't be married/seriously committed to a woman without this issue having come up already, as it's sort of important.

[HotSauce]

im in the same page but im hoping for an accident

[Coffeexbean]

it should be a dealbreaker. having kids isnt just a petty choice you pull out of your butt you either want kids because you want to provide and raise someone or you dont. That shouldnt be a life decision that you flip on or off so easily based off what a love interest wants. Having kids completely changes your life so if you want kids I'd imagine it would be a dealbreaker and if you dont then its not problem.

[Rotted]

Im not overly keen for kids, but my other half wants 3, we discussed finishing there and then but decided to go ahead with me having an open mind, and tbh slowly coming around to it, although she doesnt want the first for the next two years or so.

In the mean time, she's feeling broody and I got a puppy out of it, so that's nice

[StaeleAilar]

Personally for me (if i were so inclined) it would be a total dealbreaker. I can work with "maybe" but a flat out refusal.... I have always wanted kids ever since i can remember. Look forward to the christmas mornings when their eyes light up after santa has left presents, watch them take their first steps and such. That would be so amazing.

But thats my own opinion. Of course it would depend on if you were wanting kids and she wasnt and if you were prepared to accept that.

[Recyclebin]

For ME PERSONALLY, its a huge deal breaker. Simply because I wanted kids (Im married w/ kids now), but EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and some men dont wants kids either. So for thoes men, its a perfect match.

[kamuimac]

Is it up there among things you would break up over or not even get into a relationship with a woman who didn't want kids?

ofc it deal breaker for men who want kids duh - by not saying so from very begining she is just wasting their time.

[Recyclebin]

Im not overly keen for kids, but my other half wants 3, we discussed finishing there and then but decided to go ahead with me having an open mind, and tbh slowly coming around to it, although she doesnt want the first for the next two years or so.

In the mean time, she's feeling broody and I got a puppy out of it, so that's nice

Aww cute. She seems like a good woman. (not sarcasm because internet makes everything seem sarcastic.) I think youll be happy bro. I never knew joy like my kids have brought me. Just trust me. Trust me. You'll be happy. Being a dad will change your perspective on everything. But deff wait untill your both fully ready.

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Deal-breaker, completely.

But then again, I probably wouldn't be married/seriously committed to a woman without this issue having come up already, as it's sort of important.

Yup, basically this. It should have come up long before love is involved. If not... Well your just a weird couple and need to communicate waaaaaaaay more.

[The Glitch]

So can I ask all the people that are saying it is a deal breaker if their partners do not want kids, What would you do, if you both wanted kids, then you found out after trying, that you were infertile and wouldn't be able to (be the biological parent, of course there are alternative routes to becoming a parent)? What would you expect from your partner, yourself, the relationship?

[Deleted]

So can I ask all the people that are saying it is a deal breaker if their partners do not want kids, What would you do, if you both wanted kids, then you found out after trying, that you were infertile and wouldn't be able to (be the biological parent, of course there are alternative routes to becoming a parent)? What would you expect from your partner, yourself, the relationship?

There is a massive difference between, not wanting and not able to. There are other options to starting a family adoption/surrogate being the two i can think off the top of my head.

[Stelio Kontos]

So can I ask all the people that are saying it is a deal breaker if their partners do not want kids, What would you do, if you both wanted kids, then you found out after trying, that you were infertile and wouldn't be able to (be the biological parent, of course there are alternative routes to becoming a parent)? What would you expect from your partner, yourself, the relationship?

A rather different situation than outright refusal to have children.

But, I would broach fertilization treatments/In Vitro/surrogacy, or adoption. Now, if she outright refused all of those options that would be her choice, but then I might very well end the marriage.

[The Glitch]

There is a massive difference between, not wanting and not able to. There are other options to starting a family adoption/surrogate being the two i can think off the top of my head.

Of course there is, I even say so in my post that there are alternative routes to becoming a parent. I am not trying to be mean or anything, I am just genuinely curious about what some people may do if that situation were to arise.

I know a few people IRL that are hell bent on having their own children, (biological) and won't even entertain the possibility of a child not being his or hers biologically.
So I guess it is different for everyone, and I was curious as to some peoples thoughts on it.

[Recyclebin]

So can I ask all the people that are saying it is a deal breaker if their partners do not want kids, What would you do, if you both wanted kids, then you found out after trying, that you were infertile and wouldn't be able to (be the biological parent, of course there are alternative routes to becoming a parent)? What would you expect from your partner, yourself, the relationship?

Cry... cry together... Grieve... Love each other...Blame neither... move on together... (perhaps explore alternatives if you both agree). Like normal healthy adults.

[Mihalik]

Not a deal breaker. It is a deal breaker is she wants kids.

I plan on dying childless and have my sister's kids compete for my money. Muwhahahahaha.

[tumppu]

More like a perfect match in my case. YMMW of course.

[Deleted]

A huge deal, it easily put the women way higher than usual ones.

[D Luniz]

Who wants kids? Grotty little wankers.

Hey don't knock them
you might need some spare organs

[Deleted]

Before the start of a serious relationship this should be a deal breaker, if you do want kids.