[22/M] Kissless Virgin. Fallen for a lady and friend-zoned hard. Where do I go?

[Docturphil]

...and gay lady porn is always weird and gross and ridiculous and oh god the fingernails and I can't deal with it all, it's too embarrassing.

I've always thought that too. Like wtf there's no way they're enjoying that with those long fingernails. That has to be painful. And then there's the ones where one girl is gagging on the other one's strap on. What the fuck is that shit? That's not enjoyable for either of them... Nobody does that.

[Deleted]

I've always thought that too. Like wtf there's no way they're enjoying that with those long fingernails. That has to be painful. And then there's the ones where one girl is gagging on the other one's strap on. What the fuck is that shit? That's not enjoyable for either of them... Nobody does that.

Some people do! But yeah pretty rare

[dextersmith]

As someone who was "just a friend" for 19 years I recommend you to just move on.

Dear God, what self loathing beta would torment himself for that long?

[Mistame]

It's called watching porn and being into a certain category? You make it sound like you can't watch porn and form an opinion on the type of sexual acts you really enjoy watching.

Watching porn is about variety, which as you should know is the "spice of life".

I'll admit, being attracted to the same sex, while watching the opposite sex having sex turning you on is odd... are you attracted to dicks or pussy? To me it sounds like you think you're attracted to pussy but you're really not.

Attraction is typically less about genitals and more about presentation. In this case she's attraction to feminine people.

I guess what I'm saying is, how can you watch category of porn X but not be "into it" in reality?

The ability to separate fantasy from reality is a pretty standard trait. I mean, midget porn is awesome but I'd never sleep with a midget. They look like smaller fat girls.

I've always thought that too. Like wtf there's no way they're enjoying that with those long fingernails.

I think the fingernails are to retain a level of femininity to it when the cameras are "focused". What makes girl-on-girl porn hot is the fact that women are typically hot and very feminine. If you were going to make more "realistic" girl-on-girl porn, one would be fat, the other would look like a dude. (Note, there are attractive lesbians/bisexual women, just vastly outnumbered by those who aren't.)

[Kathandira]

The porn you are into and the things you are actually into are so wildly different..

To each their own. But I don't watch porn which does not reflect the things I would actually like to do.

But then again, I am pretty vanilla really. Just fulfill my role play fantasies, and that's all I need.

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I'll admit, being attracted to the same sex, while watching the opposite sex having sex turning you on is odd... are you attracted to dicks or pussy? To me it sounds like you think you're attracted to pussy but you're really not.

That is like asking Lesbians why they use a dildo, if they don't like penis's.

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Sidenote, @Erin, I miss you! I wish you were more active in this subsection!

[Shinrael]

Dear God, what self loathing beta would torment himself for that long?

I didn't torment myself? It's not like I had much of a choice ? I actually first got friendzoned at the age of 10 and till the age of 19 I had been friendzoned by every single girl I had a crush on. (I'm 20 now). My point is that all my life I've been in the friendzone.

[Deleted]

To each their own. But I don't watch porn which does not reflect the things I would actually like to do.

But then again, I am pretty vanilla really. Just fulfill my role play fantasies, and that's all I need.

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That is like asking Lesbians why they use a dildo, if they don't like penis's.

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Sidenote, @Erin, I miss you! I wish you were more active in this subsection!

I miss me too. Add me on facebook or something if you love me so much though. Then I can tell you you're stupid any time of the day.

[Docturphil]

I think the fingernails are to retain a level of femininity to it when the cameras are "focused". What makes girl-on-girl porn hot is the fact that women are typically hot and very feminine. If you were going to make more "realistic" girl-on-girl porn, one would be fat, the other would look like a dude. (Note, there are attractive lesbians/bisexual women, just vastly outnumbered by those who aren't.)

I mean I get it, but certain details like that are sometimes hard to ignore for me. If there's something that's blatantly obvious that they're faking to me it just kills it.

[Kathandira]

I didn't torment myself? It's not like I had much of a choice ? I actually first put myself in the friendzone at the age of 10 and till the age of 19 I had been friendzoned by every single girl I had a crush on. (I'm 20 now). My point is that all my life I've been in the friendzone.

FTFY

From personal experience in both directions, Women cannot put a man in the "friendzone". They have literally no control over you. You decided for yourself that you wanted to sit and wait for her to decide that she was interested in you. It is your fault for waiting, and wishing.

I was just like that when I was a teen. And I thought I was "friendzoned" by other people. It wasn't until my mid twenties till I realized that it was me who was being a sad little puppy. Once I grew some confidence in myself, I realized that it was always my fault.

[Deleted]

I think the fingernails are to retain a level of femininity to it when the cameras are "focused". What makes girl-on-girl porn hot is the fact that women are typically hot and very feminine. If you were going to make more "realistic" girl-on-girl porn, one would be fat, the other would look like a dude. (Note, there are attractive lesbians/bisexual women, just vastly outnumbered by those who aren't.)

Well it's kind of because girl/girl porn is very male gaze-y. It's mostly dudes who are watching it and creating it, so they want typically straight looking women. I'm not sure where you're getting idea that the vast majority of gay women are ugly from, and it really isn't true, but definitely not what the average "lowest common denominator" kind of dude is looking for.

Though there are some amazing queer porn studios out there that make some pretty amazing empowering feminist porn for ladies (of all variety) and a lot of it is really good. Also expensive though, but that's expected.

[Kathandira]

Porn is acting. Consider that there are plenty of men you see in Men and Woman porn, who are actually homosexual. A paying gig is a paying gig.

Even in Hollywood, homosexual actors play straight characters, and there are straight actors who play homosexual characters.

[Deleted]

Can't tell if serious?

It's called watching porn and being into a certain category? You make it sound like you can't watch porn and form an opinion on the type of sexual acts you really enjoy watching.

In sex, watching is really different from doing it x) There is really no way to know what you ll like until you try it.

[Mistame]

Well it's kind of because girl/girl porn is very male gaze-y. It's mostly dudes who are watching it and creating it, so they want typically straight looking women.

Fair enough.

I'm not sure where you're getting idea that the vast majority of gay women are ugly from, and it really isn't true, but definitely not what the average "lowest common denominator" kind of dude is looking for.

It comes from two points: The first being that for the most part, the "eye of the beholder" adage holds true in that what's attractive/ugly is different for different people. The second is that attraction is based on presentation. A truly "gay" woman would, in theory, be attracted to only feminine women. And yet in many lesbian couples, one of the women is "butch", which is as about as far from feminine (and, by proxy, "gay") as you can get. And "butch" women are rarely attractive, at least to me. /shrug

[Kathandira]

It comes from two points: The first being that for the most part, the "eye of the beholder" adage holds true in that what's attractive/ugly is different for different people. The second is that attraction is based on presentation. A truly "gay" woman would, in theory, be attracted to only feminine women. And yet in many lesbian couples, one of the women is "butch", which is as about as far from feminine (and, by proxy, "gay") as you can get. And "butch" women are rarely attractive.

When I was learning about the larger spectrum of sexual attraction I found myself thinking, "What is with all these super feminine gay men? I figured a man who is attracted to other men, want a stereotypical man."

But I left those thoughts behind as I've grown up and met many more people. Attraction is absolutely subjective. I have no right to question it if it isn't harming anyone.

[Deleted]

Fair point.



It comes from two points: The first being that for the most part, the "eye of the beholder" adage holds true in that what's attractive/ugly is different for different people. The second is that attraction is based on presentation. A truly "gay" woman would, in theory, be attracted to only feminine women. And yet in many lesbian couples, one of the women is "butch", which is as about as far from feminine (and, by proxy, "gay") as you can get. And "butch" women are rarely attractive, at least to me. /shrug

Sorry but the "one butch, one femme" stereotype is bollocks. Even if you're just going off appearance alone, it's more often than not utter bollocks. Also, if someone dating a butch woman makes them less gay, does that mean straight dudes can top one of those efeminate fairy-y dudes and still be straight? Of course not. That's ridiculous and everything about this is ridiculous.

[alturic]

If I would be subjected to it when having sex I'd probably break down and panic and if it's the more graphic stuff I'd risk injuries or dying. I like some choking but that can get panicky too.



Choking isn't that violent... Some of the stuff I watch is pretty graphic, animated stuff. Sometimes the character dies, other times they're left very injured.

There's your problem right there, animated porn? lol

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That's just silly. Reality and fantasy are not the same. It's like asking "how can you possibly play wow, but don't want to go kill biker gang members (defias), or Taliban/ISIS (twilight hammer) with a sword in real life?!"

If you really have to ask "how can you watch/do X in some form of media, but not want to watch/do X in real-life"... you have bigger problems. The biggest of which is seperating real-life from a virtual life.

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That is like asking Lesbians why they use a dildo, if they don't like penis's.

Oh you mean like why the tops are essentially having sex with a very tight vagina? Exactly. However, that is just the sexual side of attraction. In other words, gays have sex with those of the same-sex because that's typically what you do when you're in a relationship.

Side-note, and I don't want to turn this into a gay thread anymore than it already touched on, but how does someone who's straight their entire life, have kids, get married etc, suddenly turn gay late in life? Oh wait, it's because it's their choice. Gotcha.

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I mean I get it, but certain details like that are sometimes hard to ignore for me. If there's something that's blatantly obvious that they're faking to me it just kills it.

Funnily enough, the wife is the worst person to watch porn with. She's always calling out how fake the girl is moaning, how she's looking directly at the camera, etc. Although, she's on to something since I find myself watching amatuer porn more than anything. :P

[dextersmith]

Sidenote, @Erin, I miss you! I wish you were more active in this subsection!

@Erin
Yeah, where you been at?! It ain't the same here without you and @Manakin.

[alturic]

@Erin
Yeah, where you been at?! It ain't the same here without you and @Manakin.

Clearly she's been off watching porn.

[Moratori]

There's your problem right there, animated porn? lol

What's wrong with that? Can satisfy fantasies. There's nobody who would produce that stuff in live porn.

[Vargur]

@Sociopathic you sound like Elliot Roger in most of your post.
Also, you overshared with her.