Why the outrage over paying for your half of the meal?

[Requimortem]

I wouldn't expect men to do it, but I do it. I'm probably a little bit older than the crowd here, I would make sure to at least see her to her taxi.

What exactly does you (potentially) being older have to do with it?

[Tennis]

No, no, clearly it's a man's job to escort a helpless woman to a safe location.

This is one of the safest cities in the world. She could easily call a cab or uber to get home as well.

[l33t]

If you lower your standards, would you really have been single for 15 years..

Bah, being single is awesome, you just do what you want and that's it. Being in relationship is hard, because you have to compromise with another human all the time, and compromising equals to both of you not getting what you want, basically.

Complaining about how hard it is to be single is ridiculous. Unless, of course, you lack $$$ and need someone to pay for you.

How am I acting like that? My entire fucking point is that the way he handled it was immature and he acted like a jerk. I even said she could have responded to his offer to go back to his place in a more honest way. But at least she wasn't a bitch about it. People saying she should have paid her half are missing the fact that she didn't really have a chance to offer.

Lol, what chance? Paying for yourself is what any adult quickly learns to do. There is no need in chances. I was actually shocked that she really thought that he MUST pay for her. And all that in 2017. Talking about immaturity, lol.

[Shaderas]

What exactly does you (potentially) being older have to do with it?

Seems like it was something that was taught to me growing up, and possibly a slightly older generation. You make sure the woman is safe, see her to her car, or the door if you're dropping her off at home. Stuff like that... I'm not sure (as I don't generally run around circles with younger folk too often) if it's the case that it still is considered part of dating etiquette or not. Not trying to argue here, just providing a point of view.

[Requimortem]

I said she was helpless? I'm saying it's the polite fucking thing to do.

I suppose it's also the "polite fucking thing" to insult someone on the Internet while discussing your failed date, right?

[Tennis]

Bah, being single is awesome, you just do what you want and that's it. Being in relationship is hard, because you have to compromise with another human all the time, and compromising equals to both of you not getting what you want, basically.

Complaining about how hard it is to be single is ridiculous. Unless, of course, you lack $$$ and need someone to pay for you.

Is it?
Going to movies by yourself isn't awesome. Going to basketball games by yourself isn't awesome. Going on roadtrips by yourself isn't awesome.
Life's more fun when you have someone close to experience it with.

[socanyou]

T
Why is she wrong for expecting a mature guy to at least offer to pay if he's the one who asked her out?

Because it was a date and not a business meeting. She wasn't even close to the guy. Her reasoning for expecting it could have been correct if her background is more traditional, but her reasoning was that she was basically doing the guy a favor for coming out and listening to him talk about bourbon. That's obnoxious, to say the least. And I bet the guy had a similar impression, I'll be honest. He probably thought he deserved to get laid that night for "entertaining" the woman. I can't say much beyond the fact that this is probably why they are both single, but that's up to them to decide. For the issue of splitting the bill, she was completely wrong.

[Deleted]

Why is this in the news? Why is this even a forum thread?

[Tennis]

Where is this "outrage"? You make it sound like there was a riot going on or something.

This is just a person talking about her date and is confused on the unspoken standards that may/may not exist.

She seemed pretty outraged to share her story with a newspaper. Also look at the tone of the letter.

[Sandraudiga]

She shouldn't have expected him to pay the full bill, he shouldn't have acted like a petulant child when it was obvious he wasn't getting laid that night. He probably would have if she agreed to go see his bourbon collection, but again probably a good thing she didn't.

[Requimortem]

Is it?
Going to movies by yourself isn't awesome. Going to basketball games by yourself isn't awesome. Going on roadtrips by yourself isn't awesome.
Life's more fun when you have someone close to experience it with.

Except for the whole having to jump through hoops to woo the other person, spending money/time to ensure they're happy while expecting nothing in return lest you be labeled "selfish", having to constantly worry that someday they may simply lose interest in you and throw out everything you worked for on a whim, etc. Life can get lonely when you're alone but it's a lot better than the alternative that so many struggle to find yet rarely do.

[socanyou]

What? Do you not think it's more dangerous for a woman to be alone at night than a man? This is just a stupid fucking comment.

- - - Updated - - -

I said she was helpless? I'm saying it's the polite fucking thing to do.

I don't think it is inherently more dangerous for a woman to be alone at night than a man. To make that distinction is the very definition of sexism. Was she disabled? Hammered? What threat are we imagining here that a man wouldn't be as vulnerable to? Or said another way, why would that man qualify as protection from such a threat just for being a man?

Being polite is a whole different story. It's also polite to put out, if you want to go there. Politeness isn't an objective quality.

[looorg]

Is it?
Going to movies by yourself isn't awesome. Going to basketball games by yourself isn't awesome. Going on roadtrips by yourself isn't awesome.
Life's more fun when you have someone close to experience it with.

Yes. You are clearly doing it wrong. All these things can be awesome on your own. They don't magically become better just cause there is two or more people involved. You are clearly doing it wrong.

[Requimortem]

He was rude

That's a judgment you're making without knowing his side of the story, what actually happened or how she behaved. You don't seem to care though, you (like some others in this thread) just want to pretend she's free of fault and the victim in this scenario. It's pathetic, to say the least.

[alexkeren]

She wouldn't put out so he didn't want to pay for her meal, lol.

Hit the nail on the head, and Tennisface again leaves out the only valid poll option.

[l33t]

Is it?
Going to movies by yourself isn't awesome. Going to basketball games by yourself isn't awesome. Going on roadtrips by yourself isn't awesome.
Life's more fun when you have someone close to experience it with.

Or, maybe, instead of going to movie you're sitting back home together because her fucking mom decided it'd be a good idea to come live in your house for a week while she's at town. Or, you NEVER go to basketball games because she HATES them more than anything, so you're obviously not allowed to go there anymore.

Also, yes, you can do that alone, or you can do that with friends or colleagues and have a blast. You can even share your roadtrip with complete strangers and it still will be awesome.

Life is different. No pain - no gain, sure. But while you gain nothing, you live a painless experience

[Krigaren]

I'm having a hard time seeing how an article about a date gone wrong, which spends almost the entirety of it leading up to the main point that the guy was only asking her out to bang her, ends up with you folks laser focusing on making it about "outrage over paying half of the meal".

The fact that the guy freaked out and demanded two checks was part of her evidence to support the thesis that the guy was taking her out with the expectation of sex. The moment he found out no sex was going to happen, he demanded two checks. This is a thing that guys do, now. If you people want to find "outrage" at anything, be outraged that there are men who feel entitled to sex if they take women out and pay for everything.

Seriously, focus your indignation properly.

[socanyou]

Her reasoning was that she had agreed to inconvenience herself to travel to a location of his choosing that was apparently relatively far from her, not simply that she had gone on a date with him.

Again, this was a date. If the "inconvenience" of going to a place that someone suggests is worth the price of whatever you get there, then you're twice as stupid for agreeing in the first place than simply expecting a man to pay every time. Your idea of her reasoning is far worse than what anyone here is suggesting. It's outdated to expect men to pay for drinks, it's absurd to act like men are only worth your time if they pay. When you go on a date, you're doing it for yourself. Etiquette and social conventions are complex, but being full of yourself is inexcusable.

[Tennis]

And he could have easily waited for that cab or Uber to arrive. Not so much to "protect" her. But just to be fucking polite so she's not alone waiting around.

That's not how the world works. A lot of people don't give up their seats for the elderly or pregnant women. A lot of people don't say thanks or please etc.
He was clearly checked out and wanted to cut his losses. He couldn't stand her so he left. It's not like it was in Chicago or Mexico City. She clearly needs to toughen up.

[Deleted]

I was about 10 minutes late because I couldn’t find a parking space, and when I arrived he had already ordered and finished his coffee. That struck me as a bit off.

Bitch then don't be late.