View Poll Results: How do you feel about this?

Voters
136. This poll is closed
  • He should have paid - it's tradition

    12 8.82%
  • He should have paid - she travelled a long way to meet him

    21 15.44%
  • They should have split the bill - it's 2017

    103 75.74%
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  1. #181
    Quote Originally Posted by Krigaren View Post
    You're not making the cute, cutting jibe that you think you are.
    Huh. What a coincidence. I was thinking the exact same thing about your remarks.

  2. #182
    The Lightbringer Molis's Avatar
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    A little of a dick move, but that is what girls want right? They do not notice you until you are an asshole?

    However she does sound very high maintenance. Sounds like a win-win for both of them.

  3. #183
    Quote Originally Posted by Mehrunes View Post
    Refusing a single hookup, particularly after first few dates, does not prevent the option from being open. Nor is refusing it "jumping to conclusions". I have no idea what kind of logic brought you to phrase it in such a way. And bullshitting someone in their face with implausible excuses isn't particularly polite.
    Clearly not the same bullshit logic you used to assume that it's "rude" to "bullshit someone in their face with an implausible excuse." I don't know what kind of moral virtue signaling you're trying to accomplish with this kind of statement, but coming up with white lies to gently get out of something someone doesn't want to do is pretty normal.

    Also, fun fact, it's pretty reasonable for a person (not just women) to not want to go home alone with a guy they've only known for a couple hours, especially if there's an assumption that they'll want something that person is not prepared to give.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Karlz0rz View Post
    I think the solution would be for people to not expect one party to pay for all, and that everyone should be able to ask everyone out without stigma!
    100% agree with you, actually.
    "Lack of information on your part does not constitute bias on mine."


  4. #184
    Quote Originally Posted by Karlz0rz View Post
    I see a lot of people spouting the "The one who invites should pay" idea. The thing I dislike about this, is that it's still by large seen as a mans "job" to ask girls out.
    So more often than not, men will be the ones to ask.
    Should it still fall on men, just because society is set up in a way that men are the initiators?
    Your plans, you pay. It's nice is she offers, but it shouldn't be expected. I do want to make a good impression after all. Everyone is a little different obviously ymmv.

  5. #185
    Stood in the Fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rorcanna View Post
    As a woman, I can tell you I've never expected this. I've accepted it if the guy is asking me out, but always brought money just in case.

    Maybe it's about time we stop thinking that women are of some hive mind?
    While you say you don't expect it, you would still be a little bit disappointed in a similar situation. There is a principle involved. You think that a nice guy would at least offer and insist.

    As a man, I can tell you that while I agree with you that woman nowadays are willing and understanding of splitting bills, in a dating situation, its a turnoff if the guy doesn't pay, or at least put up a bit of a fight over it.

    The social acceptance of the 'guy has to pay' has now changed to 'the girl need to pretend to reach for the check'.

  6. #186
    Quote Originally Posted by Requimortem View Post
    Huh. What a coincidence. I was thinking the exact same thing about your remarks.
    Neat!

    /10char
    "Lack of information on your part does not constitute bias on mine."


  7. #187
    Quote Originally Posted by Mikah View Post
    The social acceptance of the 'guy has to pay' has now changed to 'the girl need to pretend to reach for the check'.
    Very well said

  8. #188
    Quote Originally Posted by Revi View Post
    It doesn't sound like splitting the bill was her biggest gripe with Darren.
    this. you have completely missed the point as usual Tenis. her gripe was that he was only in it to get into her pants, so to speak. he essentially treated her as a prostitute. somehow i doubt she would have had that much of an issue with splitting the bill if they had discussed it before hand and/or if he didn't imply his treat.. up until the point she refused to sleep with him on a first date.

  9. #189
    What an entitled bitch.

  10. #190
    A lot of assumptions going on here. These people both sound like assholes.
    1. But we don't know who specifically suggested or asked for the date. He may have chosen the area, but that doesn't mean she didn't ask for a date and then let him pick.
    2. Wanting sex on the first or second date really isn't wrong, but neither is not wanting it. And I think its important to note you can try to have sex with someone after 1-2 dates and not ONLY care about sex.
    3. Showing up late (twice?) probably didn't earn her any points here, and probably caused the mood to go sour. It shows you don't care too much about the date/meeting.
    4. Checking people out online before ever meeting this is creepy. I could see you doing this after a 2 or third date, to ensure they don;t have any warrants out for their arrest or something.
    5. We don't know if he planned to pay or not anyway, so its not like we can surmise he refused to pay just because she said no to extending the date.

  11. #191
    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonpartyfan View Post
    4. Checking people out online before ever meeting this is creepy. I could see you doing this after a 2 or third date, to ensure they don;t have any warrants out for their arrest or something.
    uh. pretty damn sure you want to check strangers out BEFORE you go anywhere with them first time around. because there is a chance that you won't live to see the second or third date. its a small chance, but its still a chance. checking someone out before you go anywhere with them is not creepy, its logical. and yes, that applies to all genders.

  12. #192
    Quote Originally Posted by Witchblade77 View Post
    uh. pretty damn sure you want to check strangers out BEFORE you go anywhere with them first time around. because there is a chance that you won't live to see the second or third date. its a small chance, but its still a chance. checking someone out before you go anywhere with them is not creepy, its logical. and yes, that applies to all genders.
    No, thats illogical. I could go on a date right now, fully intent on murder, and it could be my first murder. And guess what? You'd find nothing at all online about any crimes (because I haven't committed any). Just make your date somewhere open, otherwise it seems extremely creepy, and like you (or she, in this case) mainly cared about how cool his career was, or his achievements.

  13. #193
    Quote Originally Posted by Witchblade77 View Post
    this. you have completely missed the point as usual Tenis. her gripe was that he was only in it to get into her pants, so to speak. he essentially treated her as a prostitute. somehow i doubt she would have had that much of an issue with splitting the bill if they had discussed it before hand and/or if he didn't imply his treat.. up until the point she refused to sleep with him on a first date.
    It wasn't a first date though, did you actually read the article?

    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodias View Post
    In regards to splitting a check. It should be expected. As in, bring funds with you just in case. Should be something everyone does.
    Exactly. Be it man, woman, or rubber doll transgender robot, an adult is expected to pay for himself.
    No more time wasted in WoW.. still reading this awesome forum, though

  14. #194
    The woman clearly said no. Good for her.
    The guy took no as no. Good for him.

    What people expect him to do? Smile and be thankful at the rejection? Or offer to pay to show how much he appreciated the rejection?
    No one likes being rejected, of course he turned sour. Anything else would sound weird
    She reject him and then wonders why he did not offer to pay on top of that? Or why he was sad/upset?

    "Ooohhh you don't like me? You reject me? That's so nice! Here let me pay that for you" said no one ever! (no one I know)

  15. #195
    Quote Originally Posted by l33t View Post
    It wasn't a first date though, did you actually read the article?



    Exactly. Be it man, woman, or rubber doll transgender robot, an adult is expected to pay for himself.
    I did read the article. did you? they had coffee. then they went for a date on a different day. the club was the date. coffee - was just coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonpartyfan View Post
    No, thats illogical. I could go on a date right now, fully intent on murder, and it could be my first murder. And guess what? You'd find nothing at all online about any crimes (because I haven't committed any). Just make your date somewhere open, otherwise it seems extremely creepy, and like you (or she, in this case) mainly cared about how cool his career was, or his achievements.
    you can tell a lot about a person from how they chose to present themselves publicly. not everything, but quite a bit. whether they are ambitious, what their political views are or whether they chose to share them publicly, are they educated, what hobbies do they have, are they going to be an equal financial partner or a leech, are they intent on sharing every bit of their lives, or are they more private, etc etc. you can also see if they are any initial red flags. it IS very logical to check someone out before you meet them.

    checking them out after couple of dates is like closing the barn after the horse already ran out. either they are fine since you seem to be ok and all after a few dates, or they are not and at that point it doesn't matter, cause you likely already got hurt. sure, there are exceptions. there are always exceptions. but as a RULE, you want to know what you are getting into BEFORE you get into it, not while you are already in it.

    but seriously. dear boys. do NOT invite someone on a date expecting them to give you sex, unless you are specifically hooking up for sex as discussed beforehand. even if you seem to hit it off, NO one is obligated to have sex. EVER. if you are only willing to pay for dinner if she puts out? just hire a damn prostitute. or discuss splitting the bill (and picking the place to go TOGETHER) beforehand.
    Last edited by Witchblade77; 2017-03-27 at 06:48 PM.

  16. #196
    Quote Originally Posted by Witchblade77 View Post
    I did read the article. did you? they had coffee. then they went for a date on a different day. the club was the date. coffee - was just coffee.



    you can tell a lot about a person from how they chose to present themselves publicly. not everything, but quite a bit. whether they are ambitious, what their political views are or whether they chose to share them publicly, are they educated, what hobbies do they have, are they going to be an equal financial partner or a leech, are they intent on sharing every bit of their lives, or are they more private, etc etc. you can also see if they are any initial red flags. it IS very logical to check someone out before you meet them.

    checking them out after couple of dates is like closing the barn after the horse already ran out. either they are fine since you seem to be ok and all after a few dates, or they are not and at that point it doesn't matter, cause you likely already got hurt. sure, there are exceptions. there are always exceptions. but as a RULE, you want to know what you are getting into BEFORE you get into it, not while you are already in it.
    Oh, so now you changed it from being a safety issue, to checking out literally everything about them. And thats the actual creepy part. You could tell that she was interested in how much money he made, etc by the article, and here you are expressing the same creepy attitude.

    I suggested to check them out after a date or two for obvious reasons. If you actually like the person and plan on getting more intimate (dates in less public places, dates at home, sex, etc) it'd be smart to see if they had an elaborate criminal background, or was a pedophile, or maybe they were arrested for heroin usage and thats something you can't jive with. See, THAT is when it comes to actually being about safety, and not whether you're hitting the dating jackpot.

  17. #197
    Quote Originally Posted by Krigaren View Post
    She didn't expect him to pay.
    The fact that she took it upon herself to get the newspaper to write about it, she expected him to pay.

  18. #198
    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonpartyfan View Post
    Oh, so now you changed it from being a safety issue, to checking out literally everything about them. And thats the actual creepy part. You could tell that she was interested in how much money he made, etc by the article, and here you are expressing the same creepy attitude.

    I suggested to check them out after a date or two for obvious reasons. If you actually like the person and plan on getting more intimate (dates in less public places, dates at home, sex, etc) it'd be smart to see if they had an elaborate criminal background, or was a pedophile, or maybe they were arrested for heroin usage and thats something you can't jive with. See, THAT is when it comes to actually being about safety, and not whether you're hitting the dating jackpot.
    its about both. I changed nothing. safety is important. not wasting your time on someone you are not compatible with is ALSO important. not wasting time on someone who is UNSAFE is doubly important. I don't want to go out on multiple dates with someone, only to find out they are a criminal. if you wish to think its creepy? I don't care.

    and I just noticed your handle. i guess you think you are funny.

  19. #199
    Quote Originally Posted by Zyky View Post
    The fact that she took it upon herself to get the newspaper to write about it, she expected him to pay.
    No, she took it upon herself to "get the newspaper to write about it" (that's not how newspapers work btw) to tell her story of a bad date that went south when she didn't go and have sex with a guy who expected it, and seemed to only be interested in paying if he got it.
    "Lack of information on your part does not constitute bias on mine."


  20. #200
    Deleted
    I(guy) normally just pay for the date since I'm the one asking her out. Im 28 with a huge disposable income inviting out early twenties students, so i guess thats only fair.

    Guy in the article sounds kinda douchey, but she dosen't seem that pleasant either

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