Sex on the first date expected now?

[Tennis]

I wasn't either, but at my age now...I think I would take what I can get. I'm 36 years old, and while I still look youthful, I'm not getting any younger.

Fortunately taken and don't have to be concerned with it.

You're 36 and not married? That's concerning isn't it.

[INVASMANIXOXOXO]

I listened to a talk on NPR about casual sex among millennials, it is in fact more common now but nowhere near as common as is claimed...less than one out of three college students are participating in hookup culture and overall millennials are having less sex than previous generations. In my opinion, casual sex can be psychologically damaging for individuals who participate in it, particularly those individuals who develop attachments through sex (which is not everyone no matter the gender, but makes up the majority for either gender). This overall aversion to attachments among millennials is troubling and is setting them up for trauma in later adulthood.

http://www.npr.org/2017/02/14/514578...llege-campuses
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/opini...nap-story.html
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=105008712

Also OP you come across as a narcissist in your post, not sure what your deal is. And I don't participate in hookup culture/casual sex or use dating apps and am happily in a committed relationship.

I have never accused of being a narcissist, but I guess it might be sort of true. I wikipediad the signs of it, and most of them do sort of apply to me except lack of empathy/detesting people who don't like me (I consider myself to be a very empathetic person). I am also not a huge fan of hookup culture, but I guess I still participate... and I have gotten hurt one time as you alluded to... developed feelings/wanted to get serious girl told me to forget about it lol.

[Mistame]

In my opinion, casual sex can be psychologically damaging for individuals who participate in it, particularly those individuals who develop attachments through sex (which is not everyone no matter the gender, but makes up the majority for either gender).

Luckily the first three words of this save me from calling it drivel.

This overall aversion to attachments among millennials is troubling and is setting them up for trauma in later adulthood.

This, however, isn't preceded by them. What sets people up for "trauma" more than casual sex is not experiencing life to the fullest before they settle down, at which point they'll likely realize that long-term monogamy is, for the most part, overrated.

You're 36 and not married? That's concerning isn't it.

No, it isn't. Marriage is just adding onions to the cheeseburger that is your relationship. And like onions, it's just there to add flavor and not everyone's into it.

[Tennis]

No, it isn't. Marriage is just adding onions to the cheeseburger that is your relationship. And like onions, it's just there to add flavor and not everyone's into it.

Well you previously said you were married so it seems likely that you're biased because yours didn't go well.
A lot of other people made the commitment and are very happy as a result.

[Mistame]

Well you previously said you were married so it seems likely that you're biased because yours didn't go well.
A lot of other people made the commitment and are very happy as a result.

And yet, many people have tried onions and still don't like them. That doesn't mean they should eat them anyhow, just because other people like them. Marriage has very little actual effect on people involved in a committed relationship and it can neither make nor break such a relationship. In fact, I'd argue those who aggressively advocate in favor of marriage more than likely don't have enough real life or relationship experience to be giving advice in the first place.

And yes, I was married. It wasn't my thing. Now I'm not and I'm happy. /shrug

[DrStiglit]

True, but you're not going to keep a cow with rotten milk or meat. If the sex isn't up to par, move

Well yea. I wasn't saying that anything had to be done in any particular order. You can developer a relationship that started off sexual... I was just stating there is more than one aspect to the cow since the guy I quoted only mentioned the milk. Just depends on what you're looking for...

[Gemini Soul]

I don't expect it, but it happens and i don't judge was with a GF for a little over 8 months and that started as a 1 night stand.

[Deleted]

You're 36 and not married? That's concerning isn't it.

Why would that be concerning? In what way?

[Celista]

Luckily the first three words of this save me from calling it drivel.



This, however, isn't preceded by them. What sets people up for "trauma" more than casual sex is not experiencing life to the fullest before they settle down, at which point they'll likely realize that long-term monogamy is, for the most part, overrated.



No, it isn't. Marriage is just adding onions to the cheeseburger that is your relationship. And like onions, it's just there to add flavor and not everyone's into it.

Well there's research on it that is alluded to in the NPR links (in the audio). Obviously casual sex isn't damaging for everyone, there is a minority subset that enjoys it.

- - - Updated - - -

I have never accused of being a narcissist, but I guess it might be sort of true. I wikipediad the signs of it, and most of them do sort of apply to me except lack of empathy/detesting people who don't like me (I consider myself to be a very empathetic person). I am also not a huge fan of hookup culture, but I guess I still participate... and I have gotten hurt one time as you alluded to... developed feelings/wanted to get serious girl told me to forget about it lol.

Knowing is half the battle In any case it's wasn't a super serious comment, it's one post and no one can diagnose anyone with anything via the internet.

[yetgdhfgh]

Sex is fun and alot of girls i know dropped that silly idea of no sex before marriage so they have no qualms about fucking on the first date if there is instant sexual attraction.

[Bapestar]

I feel like the thread got a little derailed. Like I said in my original post about the bragging, I know that what I did is kind of nothing, but for me it is slaying it lol, I just didn't want to put it all out there like no big deal and I wanted to give as much detail as possible.

I'm not really interested in discussing all of the double standards (except for an entirely different one I'll get to) , "I won't date girls that put out on the first date", etc. To each their own, some people were raised to not sleep around and expect that out of a potential partner who cares? I have a few female friends and some of them are sluts, and pretty attractive. What is extremely unattractive to me is low self esteem girls that need validation from guys and that is where their slutiness stems from (guy shes fucked once or twice kicks her to the curb so she needs to immediately call one of her friend-zoned guys to fuck to validate her)

My main point is that it seems that if a guy takes a girl to a concert, he can't just expect to have a couple beers listen to some good tunes with a fun lady and drop her off and get a short kiss, because it seems those expectations are shifting. Therefore I tell any of my male friends going on a first date to be ready for her to jump you, regardless of the vibe she is putting off... so you need to have everything in order down stairs, clean apartment, and protection ready to go.

I wanted to get to get the female perspective on guys rejecting first date sex, and be honest lol. I've only done this once (she wanted to go to my place, but it was a mess so I said no), and she pretty much ghosted me. Does that throw a red flag up for girls sort of how a lot of guys here claim putting out immediately throws up a red flag for them (I don't agree with this)?

Depends on the type of woman. If you want a relationship, then it is perfectly normal to turn down sex on the first date. If she gets mad, on to the next one.

[Fencers]

3 date thing is just nonsense from movies.

It is. I am almost twice your age and it has always been BS. No such rule has been defacto for a very long time at least.

[Morally Grey Storm]

Kids these days expect a deepthroat as an evening-closing sort of goodbye-kiss.
One thing to worry about is these are the kind of people who are supposed to be "men".
But the other thing is there are girls who will succumb to such a demand .

[Deleted]

Are you trolling or serious?

Would you ask me that question if I change man to woman and husband to wife? I don't see the difference.

[yetgdhfgh]

You're 36 and not married? That's concerning isn't it.

Iam 36 and not married

[May90]

Iam 36 and not married

My dad is 53 and not married.

[yetgdhfgh]

My dad is 53 and not married.

Well hurry up and get him hooked up

[Zafire]

I was writing out this thing, but then I realized...Holy hell, everyone I had sex with besides my sisters friend was within the first week of knowing them in person.

[Cuppy]

Would you ask me that question if I change man to woman and husband to wife? I don't see the difference.

So err

A man who agrees to sex on the first date is not husband material

A woman who agrees to sex on the first date is not wife material

Yes! Still asking. What is this?

[yetgdhfgh]

Do people still care about 'husband' 'Wife' material in this day and age?