Girl commits suicide near me - cyber bullying.

[Charge me Doctor]

Parents need to parent better. Be more involved in your child's life and don't be an idiot and make stupid mistakes. If you can't handle a child then don't become a parent. Don't raise somebody who would bully others and don't raise somebody who would go so far as killing themselves over words.

People have to remember that nurture does exist. Nature isn't the end all be all of these situations. Life sucks and people suck; if you don't raise your children knowing that fact they will be caught completely off guard. Raise children to be more resilient, not less resilient.

That said, this is assuming that the OP is totally correct in their conclusion that this girl's suicide was entirely the result of this cyber bullying. All it says in the original article is that they were investigating. We have almost zero details about the life of this girl and even the content of these messages. All we know is that she committed suicide, got mean texts from some dude and that she was Christian. Her faith of course being left out of the OP, while I can guarantee you if she was Muslim instead the title would mention that she is such and half the thread would be about Islam and all the 'racist bigots'.

Speaking of faith - i've met dozen of "faithful" kids who had their mind blown up that, *gasp*, not all people follow "the word of god", and even their parents are sinful as fuck. When a kid realizes how hypocritical the world around them is (especially when they risen as faithful) its really hard to handle by themselves.

[Requimortem]

Saying the world is a "better place" because she committed suicide is just dumb.

Saying that saying the world is a "better place" because she committed suicide is just dumb is dumb.

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Nope, edgy opinions are just edgy. Sorry if society disagrees with you.

Thankfully you don't speak for society. If anything, "society" is on my side as evidenced by the various posts throughout this thread.

[spinner981]

Speaking of faith - i've met dozen of "faithful" kids who had their mind blown up that, *gasp*, not all people follow "the word of god", and even their parents are sinful as fuck. When a kid realizes how hypocritical the world around them is (especially when they risen as faithful) its really hard to handle by themselves.

Being risen on faith doesn't mean you need to raise your children inside a bubble. I have seen a lot of the opposite though. It is as if many teens these days are almost shocked that sacredness actually exists, and that somewhat of an innocence of mind is actually something that some parents try to raise their children to have. I don't really know if it is a good thing though, to raise children to not be shocked at the countless perversions that pervade our modern youth culture.

[josykay]

It's not even about getting off the internet, it's about logging off twitter and facebook accounts for a while.

Until you go to the same school/ class with the bully, and they continue, doing it offline.

And on a side note: "Just ignore the bully" isn't going to work either. The best you will achieve is, that he will change to another target. Which shifts the problem away from you. But it does still exist. There has to be taking serious actions, and not just the usual "Those are just words. Man up" bullshit.

[spinner981]

Until you go to the same school/ class with the bully, and they continue, doing it offline.

And on a side note: "Just ignore the bully" isn't going to work either. The best you will achieve is, that he will change to another target. Which shifts the problem away from you. But it does still exist. There has to be taking serious actions, and not just the usual "Those are just words. Man up" bullshit.

So what then? Anyone who says or does anything that is interpreted to be 'mean spirited' is sent to a correctional facility or permanently expelled from school?

People love going on crusades against bullying but they never suggest a solution while simultaneously throwing fits over anyone that says that people should raise their children to be more resilient. How do we solve this 'problem' then, if thicker skin is absolutely not an answer?

[Charge me Doctor]

Until you go to the same school/ class with the bully, and they continue, doing it offline.

And on a side note: "Just ignore the bully" isn't going to work either. The best you will achieve is, that he will change to another target. Which shifts the problem away from you. But it does still exist. There has to be taking serious actions, and not just the usual "Those are just words. Man up" bullshit.

Then it's not the case of "cyber bullying", but "bullying" in general, and we already have decent means of dealing with it

[Aggrophobic]

How can parents not see the depression of their own child and do something about it? How can they raise a child so brittle and weak as to kill herself because of someone else saying mean things about her? There is no faith, no strength and no decency in this generation, as predicted.

Ah yes, blame the victim.
Disgusting.

[xact4]

Sadly the personal nature of suicide that people just have no way of ever knowing the truth. Maybe this kid didn't really bother her, maybe her problems stemmed from an exaggerated chemical imbalance on top of teenager..ism. Maybe she would have felt whatever she felt regardless of this boy. Maybe he was the sole reason she took her own life. Maybe maybe maybe. It's very frustrating.

All these people here projecting, reasoning, and arguing... imagine the agony her family and friends will feel for years doing the same until time takes the edge off. That's what I wish all these kids would think about before going to such drastic measures.

I sincerely hope those of you here in the "survival of the fittest" crowd who left your empathy at the login screen are never forced into the position where you know from experience that human life is a bit more complicated than that in reality.

[spinner981]

People love going on crusades against victims, but they never suggest a solution while simultaneously throwing fits over anyone that says that people should raise their children to be more respectful of others. How do we solve this 'problem' then, if respect for others is absolutely not an answer?

This is fun.

Because we cannot control how other people raise their children, but we can control how we raise our children. If all we do is expect other people to change while we don't change at all, then the problem will never be solved. It really is astounding that you cannot understand this concept. It is fine to desire others to be more respectful, but doing so without changing yourself to be more tolerant of their disrespect is radically naive.

Are we seriously resorting to middle school levels of arguing where when you have no response to somebody you just resort to "I know you are but what am I?"

[Thanatoss]

People love going on crusades against victims, but they never suggest a solution while simultaneously throwing fits over anyone that says that people should raise their children to be more respectful of others. How do we solve this 'problem' then, if respect for others is absolutely not an answer?

This is fun.

I don't know, maybe something along the lines of holding people accountable for what they do and say? Kid wants to be a shitlord to people he should face consequences for it. He knew damn well what he was doing and from the article it sounds like he's gotten away with it before with little or no punishment. Obviously whatever happened the first time in response to him harassing someone wasn't a deterrent from him continuing the behavior.

[kamuimac]

A 9th grade girl that lived near me killed herself on Thursday. She was a victim of a cyber bully.

My kids know most of the story, but here is what I know.....

They bullying was done by a boy in her school. Everything I saw on TV, or read online, said that it was so vulgar that it could not be said on TV, or posted online. It was his second offense that anybody knows of. He was suspended from school before.

After the girl died he sent another text: "Thanks for the days off from school."

He has been removed from school.

To me, this kid needs to be locked up in a mental rehab center, and maybe more than that.

Thoughts?

Added because some think I made it up:

http://6abc.com/news/cyber-bullying-...ontco/1847845/

its sad but truth is a lot of kids are simply weak nowadays because their parents try to keep them in bubble and when they realise that world is not about cottons and candy they break down mentaly

if she commited suicide because of a little bullying in school she should most probably commited suicide as adoult too as she woudl meet with much harsher enviroment in work and in life.

its parents fault for raising kids in west as pussies nowadays when in middle east 10 year olds know very well what war is and that bullying is nothing but a joke compared to what life can bring you. tell the kids in slumps in china or other easter countries how a little of bulliing is bad when they often starve for months because their parent cannot afford to feed them properly.

[Thanatoss]

its sad but truth is a lot of kids are simply weak nowadays because their parents try to keep them in bubble and when they realise that world is not about cottons and candy they break down mentaly

if she commited suicide because of a little bullying in school she should most probably commited suicide as adoult too as she woudl meet with much harsher enviroment in work and in life.

its parents fault for raising kids in west as pussies nowadays when in middle east 10 year olds know very well what war is and that bullying is nothing but a joke compared to what life can bring you. tell the kids in slumps in china or other easter countries how a little of bulliing is bad when they often starve for months because their parent cannot afford to feed them properly.

I would agree with you to the extent that yes, the girl I would safely guess had serious emotion/mental issues, but assuming she would have killed herself later on is just that, an assumption on your part. She could have just as easily later on received actual help for her problems and recovered. People underestimate how serious depression is and that kid was just a catalyst for the terrible things already going on in her head.

[spinner981]

Actually, the point was how incredibly stupid it is to do as you're doing and focus on only one side. Sure, we can teach kids to be more resilient or whatever it is you think they should be doing (yet every time I tell people they should have control of their emotions I get called a psychopath and/or that I'm insanely unreasonable by the same people who advocate for that shit????? Weird), but we as a society can determine how we respond to these sorts of things. If little Billy wants to piss in the pool, you kick him the fuck out of the pool. You don't make everyone else get out while shrugging your shoulders and saying there was nothing you could do about it.

Except there is, once again, barriers that you run into. First off, what would the punishment be for bullies? Where do we draw the line between what is and isn't bullying? Should there be any tolerance of bullying, or should the first act of bullying bring on them full punishment?

It is far and away easier and more efficient to change ourselves than to enforce laws and guidelines on how to deal with children who are mean. It certainly isn't preparing them for the real world, to simply coddle them and try to ensure they face no adversity. I agree we should fight against bullying, but that fight is long and resides on a very slippery slope. But teaching our children to be resilient and to face adversity without crumbling can only be a good thing.

Yes, we can do the best we can do to stop bad people from doing bad things, but the easiest and most efficient way of avoiding, preventing or overcoming these bad things is to change ourselves. You can call it victim blaming all you want, but applying personal wisdom is much more effective in virtually every situation than trying to remove all wrong things from the world by simply trying to 'punish people harder'.

[spinner981]

I'm not really sure what to tell people who think this is complicated when we've been doing it for years without too many issues.

Yet it still happens and is still a 'major problem' apparently. Meanwhile people have been raised to simply ignore or overcome these kinds of things for millennia but suddenly that strategy is 'ineffective' victim-blaming.

[Thanatoss]

Because people focus on in-person bullying. As soon as they treat cyberbullying the same way, it will be fine.

I don't often agree with things you say Nixx but I do for this one

[P for Pancetta]

Yes, we can do the best we can do to stop bad people from doing bad things, but the easiest and most efficient way of avoiding, preventing or overcoming these bad things is to change ourselves. You can call it victim blaming all you want, but applying personal wisdom is much more effective in virtually every situation than trying to remove all wrong things from the world by simply trying to 'punish people harder'.

Yes, just like in China and the Middle East we should beat and rape our children more regularly so they're prepared for the things life actually entails. Maybe instead of saying everyone should raise there children to be the next Leonidas we should accept the fact that some kids are weaker then others. You've got 300lb bodybuilders walking around with kids thin as sticks only interested in comic books. Maybe the father should force his kid to be something he isn't, but I find it much more likely that the kid who did the bullying is the one needed actual parenting.

We're living in a time where two parents have to work full time to make a living. These parents are just people too, they do not have the time to raise their kids properly because they do not see their kids for the majority of the time. It's up to schools these days to raise kids and they're doing an absolutely abysmal job at preparing kids for life.

[spinner981]

Because people focus on in-person bullying. As soon as they treat cyberbullying the same way, it will be fine.

Ok then, what is the solution to cyber-bullying?

Everyone who says mean things on the internet is banned from the internet?

[Derah]

Being cyber bullied? Block them. Walk away from the computer. I really don't get how people can't deal with this stuff. If it's bullying in real life, punch the kid out or pay someone to do it for you. Beyond that, can't really help you. I got bullied a lot when I was younger and I dealt with it by fighting back, which stopped it.

I dunno which implication in your post is worse.

That you think everyone is like you and therefore what worked for you will work for everyone, or...... That you think everyone SHOULD be like you, and those that aren't are clearly doing it wrong.

News flash: Not everyone is like you. Some people have timid personalities, are afraid of conflict, are riddled with insecurities, etc etc etc. Your solution won't work for them. Bullies take a gleeful joy at picking on people who can't fight back. You could fight them off, grats, NOT EVERYONE CAN DO THAT.

So insensitive.

[spinner981]

Yes, just like in China and the Middle East we should beat and rape our children more regularly so they're prepared for the things life actually entails. Maybe instead of saying everyone should raise there children to be the next Leonidas we should accept the fact that some kids are weaker then others. You've got 300lb bodybuilders walking around with kids thin as sticks only interested in comic books. Maybe the father should force his kid to be something he isn't, but I find it much more likely that the kid who did the bullying is the one needed actual parenting.

We're living in a time where two parents have to work full time to make a living. These parents are just people too, they do not have the time to raise their kids properly because they do not see their kids for the majority of the time. It's up to schools these days to raise kids and they're doing an absolutely abysmal job at preparing kids for life.

I'm not saying that we should put our children through hell. I am saying that we shouldn't coddle them and raise with to just expect other people to only ever be nice and respectful.

Also, no, it isn't a necessity that two people living together both must work. If you want to have a child then you should create an environment where they can thrive in. If you can't afford to do that, downsize. If you can't place your children over your own personal interests, then perhaps you should be rethinking having children.

[Ahovv]

I don't have that information. Maybe she did. I can text myself from any email account though, so it doesn't matter much.

And if the offender was doing that, it's a direct form of harassment. Punishable by law.

There's no need to assign some arbitrary "cyber-bullying" tag, or pretend he's responsible for her death.