Is the friend zone really a thing?

[DisposableHero]

I mean, I realize that this might vary from person to person, but...isn't that what (somewhat good) friends usually do for each other too?

The implication is that it is not mutual as it would be in a good friendship. Usually in this hypothetical the girl in question is herself being strung along by an emotionally unavailable boyfriend who treats her poorly but she is too attracted to him sexually to leave the relationship so she extracts the emotional support she expects from the boyfriend from beta orbiters. I don't think this scenario is nearly as common as simply a paralysis based on fear of rejection preventing someone from being forward about their feelings to the object of their affection.

[zaino]

Of course it does.

so why complain about it when its pretty much nonexistant? Have you considered why those people think they are being taken advantage of? Low morals, Low self confidence. Insecurities.

[pateuvasiliu]

Anyways, most of the time people who are "friend zoned" are doing it to themselves. The important thing is to be able to move on. It's a monumental waste of time to try and get with a girl who just doesn't think about you that way.

It's easy in theory, that's why the tactic is so reviled. If you get flatly refused it's one thing, but the masterful manipulators say shit like '' not right now '' '' not ready for something like that '' and then try to shame you for having wishes/needs of your own. Try to break the friendship?

" YOU ONLY WANTED ME FOR THE SEX!! "

Manipulation 101.

[Rotted]

I'd say there is,

You see guys bend over backwards and do everything possibly to keep a girl happy, and you see girls all the time going oh my male BBF or some shit. You know dam fucking well that person likes you, either be straight with them or date them, don't drag them around like a poor sap

[pateuvasiliu]

so why complain about it when its pretty much nonexistant? Have you considered why those people think they are being taken advantage of? Low morals, Low self confidence. Insecurities.

Sounds like you're excusing the behavior. You can also be mugged, assaulted or sexually abused because of your own lack of [insert quality here] but you don't shame those victims, do you?

Insecurities and low confidence aren't things you just snap your fingers at and make them disappear.

- - - Updated - - -

You know dam fucking well that person likes you, either be straight with them or date them, don't drag them around like a poor sap

Myep. And this happens WAY MORE OFTEN than people think.

[Zandalarian Paladin]

Friendzone is just a better word for "Unattractive friend but a good person" or "I appreciate you, you're attractive, but your personality is not what I look for in love because you're too quirky/awkward/soft".

[Cæli]

To each their own, I suppose.
Personally, I have friends of both genders and it works very well too - and I feel like categorically refusing any friendship from people that happen to be guys would have caused me to miss out on some good times. For me, it just doesn't make any difference.

we're all somewhat different, but I believe girls are very different than men in this way, men have problems among which competition is one of them, women have other problems among which competition is not really a problem (they would rather find the "best" partner from what I've seen so far), it is far harder for a man to get ties with someone of opposite sex, unless that man is famous, and as such girls could believe friendship with a man can be healthy and normal, but the truth is that some of your friend could secretly be in pain, but they won't tell you

any straight man can fall in love with a woman, and women usually have more man interested in her than the other way

[pateuvasiliu]

it is far harder for a man to get ties with someone of opposite sex

Doh, of course. Women date up.

You usually see hot dudes with meh girlfriends, but rarely if ever see hot chicks with ugly dudes unless they're rich.

That's because of abundance mentality ( the state of mind where you realise you have a lot of prospects so you only date the top ones ). Women have that mentality since it's men that initiate, so women always have a bunch of dudes lined up whereas men have to initiate in order to get the same 'sense of security'.

Dating sites have made this problem 100 times worse since even meh girls can get dozens of thirsty dudes messaging them, which in turn results in then overhyping their own value. Which means:

Hot girls date hot dudes
Hot dudes don't always only date hot girls
Mediocre girls date mediocre guys and hot dudes, but even if they date the mediocre guy they'll always look to trade up
mediocre guys are kinda fucked



hot = value as a partner, not necessarily looks. A man can improve his value by being rich/popular, for instance.

[Symphonic]

If you're interested in someone, ask them out on dates, don't ask if they want to "hang out" or "go somewhere with a bunch of your friends". Be specific that you are asking her on a date and she knows that you're interested in *her*, not just wanting to be friends with her. One of the things my wife really liked about me was that I asked her out on dates and that I treated her respectfully, opening the car door for her, and stuff.

[pateuvasiliu]

If you're interested in someone, ask them out on dates, don't ask if they want to "hang out" or "go somewhere with a bunch of your friends". Be specific that you are asking her on a date and she knows that you're interested in *her*, not just wanting to be friends with her. One of the things my wife really liked about me was that I asked her out on dates and that I treated her respectfully, opening the car door for her, and stuff.

Did you also pay for dates?

[Ebalina]

All girls are weird.

Today you are your friend tomorrow you are her sex toy the day after you are nothing to her.
Its a fucked up world mate.
Friend zone is a thing and tbh you do not want to be friends with girls who friendzone you because most of the time they overestimate their value.
Most of them are stuck up in some alter reality thinking the world revolves around them.
The sooner you understand that you move on to the next target some one who actually would like to at least give you a chance at a date before saying "sorry we ain't going to work" there is no point courting a girl for weeks to get the same answer all the time.

Friend zone is a thing its always been a thing and there is nothing anyone can do but the people who enforce it on others just because reasons.
There is no legitimate reason to not give some one who you deem fun/handsome/ what ever your flavor is a go just "you may or may not have a reason" or you are waiting for the whiteknight/princess to come swoop you off.

If it doesn't work be honest to each other and move on that actually might become more of a friendship worth keeping then just dancing around a girl who zoned you because her own reasons/vanity/what ever else it might be.

No girl keeps guy around and calls them amazing person/fun to be around what ever just to zone them they are just insecure and if they keep been that you move on you cannot wait for them to fix their issues.

[Symphonic]

Did you also pay for dates?

Yes, I did.

[Gandrake]

I mean, yeah, it is. But it's your choice whether or not to stay there. it's not something you're supposed to actively try to break down the walls of. I mean... You can try. But friends are friends for a reason and it's because of a lack of sexual attraction or some issue with having a relationship.

I mean, ask girls if they think the fuckzone is real. The friendzone is real. But unfortunately it's a lot more difficult to leave the fuckzone.

[Mafic]

There is no such thing for a friend zone for a man or woman that makes their intentions clear from the start. If you want to follow some one you admire around like a puppy dog that is your choice, but it is a poor choice to do so.

[Deleted]

It depends on what we call friendzone. People who want to be friends but not have sex is -that- preposterous?

[AlphaOut]

If a woman doesn't want you to put your weiner in her but still hang out because youre friends? yeah that sounds pretty convincing that it's a real thing. Who wound of thought that every woman doesn't show interest in every dude they know.

[AztechZero]

The Friendzone stops existing the moment you stop viewing women as different from men.

Not really, since men do this to women too. Though you mostly hear men complaining about being friendzoned.

[pateuvasiliu]

Yes, I did.

Yeah.

Kids reading this, don't do that shit.

A date is a 50-50 activity and if you have to pay for her to spend time with you, you're doing it wrong.

[pateuvasiliu]

The friend zone would not be any issue whatsoever or subject of discussion if women would he sincere with the guy they're friendzoning. However, the truth is that many times they have something to gain from a friendship with that person and want to keep it. Just 2 examples I personally experienced (yes, on me).

- being a great confidante. The woman loves to speak with you and "empty her soul", telling you of her misfortunes and exploits. Obviously, you probably just listen because infatuated/wanting to get to the sex part. Wanting to get to the sex part is not something negative and does not imply the man leaving a woman in the dust afterwards, just wanna clarify that, it simply means attraction.
- being good at something she needs help with on a frequent basis. Technology was my case, PCs, fixing some electronics, installing the new stuff for her, maintaining a good, fast, functional PC, giving advice towards buying new stuff.

This is why you, as a man, should also be honest with women you don't intent to have sex with. Don't keep them around just to show off and go out each week with another girl. You don't like her? Tell her politely. Don't be the same as the women I described above.

Anyway, most people get friendzoned, it's just that sometimes your ego is too fragile to acknowledge it.

There's no reason to be ashamed of wanting to have sex with someone, really.

That whole '' YOU JUST WANTED ME FOR SEX, OUR FRIENDSHIP ISN'T REAL " is just manipulation, trying to shift the blame on you when you finally realise that you got let on and cut off that toxic person from your life.

[Kathandira]

But I'll give you hope because I like having you around "

That depends. Is the person diluted into thinking simple gestures and friendly words are a sign of hope? Or is the women literally physically teasing him, but then saying no?